My family is trying to make me look at other dresses.

AyumiKanariya · April 2010

They were all fine and dandy with paying for my wedding dress..it was 1800 dollars and by blue by Enzoani, the dress is Colombia. Its hard for me to find a dress because Im a plus size bride and there's HARDLY any dresses I can try on and the dress was what I was most worried about. A local store near Pittsburgh had a trunk show with Enzoani called Gorgeous with curves and I tried on five different dresses, and the bottom price for all of them were 1300 - I knew it was going to be expensive because there's more fabric involved but I stayed under my budget of keeping within the 1000's for my dress. and now My grandma found out the price and now my parents are trying to talk me into another dresses and there is hardly any bridal shops in Pittsburgh and My mom is so busy that she'll never be able to go anywhere after this June because she's finishing up nursing school full time while working part time. I really dont know what to do, whether or not I should just tell them I'll pay for my own wedding becasue they are not backing me up on anything I want to do, the reception hall I want, they are trying to talk me into letting them cook the food on my wedding day instead of having a caterer...and I only just got engaged in January!! Im ready to tell them I want to pay for my own wedding because they arent letting me do what I want. Now im stuck between getting a dress I dont like as much and getting my dress paid for, or getting the dress I want and paying for it myself. How should I approach the situation?.

*tinkertoy* · April 2010

I agree with PP, that the cost is a little high, IMO.

I am plus sized and went to Alfred Angelo, they have dresses in every size to try on, the dress I ended up getting is amazing, silk, and under $1000.

AyumiKanariya · April 2010

I thought it was a little high too but It seems hopeless to find any dresses that fit me without driving 2+ hours to get there. I was only expecting my parents to pay for the dress and we were going to pay for everything else - they keep thinking they are gonna pay for everything when they arent.

katieanne85 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_family-trying-look-other-dresses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:1f9293cf-668d-4ec8-a245-2e7a05a889f5Post:d5c69936-d67a-40d5-892a-7674e7c43c2b">Re: My family is trying to make me look at other dresses.</a>:
[QUOTE]I thought it was a little high too but It seems hopeless to find any dresses that fit me without driving 2+ hours to get there. I was only expecting my parents to pay for the dress and we were going to pay for everything else - they keep thinking they are gonna pay for everything when they arent.
Posted by AyumiKanariya[/QUOTE]
TALK to them, your original post made it seem like no one was being frank.

Audrey&Austin · April 2010

You really need to talk with them and discus their budget. It sounds like your expectations are a little high. Your parents are trying to help you out as much as they can and you don't seem very grateful for their help.

rae19 · April 2010

It does sound like your family is worried about finances... I'd suggest sitting down and discussing budget first. Make sure EVERYONE is on board. If you are willing to give on other things such as less flowers, or maybe DIY with invitations or decorations, whatever it may be, then maybe you will have more wiggle room in the budget to spend on the dress. If not, would it be so bad if you just bought it yourself? Minus the extra item, maybe then your family's budget will better allow for the hall you want. Budget has to be discussed first and foremost though, with everyone who will be involved, or it will bite you in the butt! My parents were initially all like "let's see how it goes, there isn't really a budget, we just want to get what we want to get." Now that the guest list is almost double what we initially thought, they are now wanting to discuss budget halfway through the planning process when many things have already been decided with contracts signed. Trust me, you do not want to be in this position.

keziah23 · April 2010

If you are that concerend about the particulars then maybe you should pay for it yourself. The bride's family paying for everything is an archaic tradition leftover from when families had to give incentives for their daughters to be wed.
i am plus size and just got my dress for $300, its not hopeless unless you think it is.

drink227 · April 2010

Look for a discount place where you may be able to find the same dress.
My BMs got theirs on Netbride.com and it was 60% less then in the store.

AyumiKanariya · April 2010

I'm doing DIY Centerpieces, Favors, and Invitations. Does anyone know any other discount sites? My fiance works with a photographer and he is giving us our photos at 30% off, and I'm just worried about making my family do all the cooking on my wedding day, I want them to enjoy it not feel like they are working. If you know what I mean. I'm still entirely new to this whole wedding thing and it seems like my family is so hard to please...I was super flustered when I posted this because my mom literally just said it to me like an hour before I posted it so I'm sorry to everyone if I didnt sound like I was clear with what I was trying to say.

cqbride · April 2010

Bottom line- if they are paying for the wedding, they get to call the shots. You need to talk over with them what they can manage. If they you can't reach an agreement, you and your fiance need to decide if you're more willing to do what they want or pay for the wedding. Honestly, it's sounding like you're expecting a lot from them. They are in no way obligated to help you pay for your wedding. You might want to take a little more time to figure the whole thing out before you just jump into it.

AyumiKanariya · April 2010

I dont mind them making the food if they really want to. I feel like they should get to relax and not worry about cooking a bunch of food (we're talking almost 200 people because I have a big family) My fiance and I walked into this thinking that we were going to pay for most of our wedding right off the bat because we werent expecting any support from his side of the family but his dad offered to pay for alcohol. I was only expecting to get a cake from my grandma and that was about it (She does all her grandkids wedding cakes) Im trying to look for sites that sell the dress for less than the store but I'm not having much luck. Can you buy a dress somewhere and have it altered elsewhere?

keziah23 · April 2010

if you were expecting to pay for stuff yourself then why not just pay for the dress yourself and be done with it if you really want that one that much.

yes you can have the dress altered anywhere you want.

What is the dress, maybe we can help you find it somewhere cheaper.

AyumiKanariya · April 2010

Its Colombia (Also spelled Columbia) by blue by Enzoani. My mom is the one who had me try on the dress - she saw it in the back room and asked if I could try it on.

rae19 · April 2010

GORGEOUS dress. I see why you love it so much....

My approach was to try and find something similar and more budget friendly. Have you checked out casablancabridal.com? For roughly 1/2-1/3 of price, they offer some similar styles, have amazing customer service, and their items are easily customizable! For example my dress only had embroidery in the back but we got it placed all around. You might not like any of these, or have your heart set on your already amazing choice, which is fine, but here are some options:

http://casablancabridal.com/collections/view/18/283 - order lace bottom

http://casablancabridal.com/collections/view/18/275

http://casablancabridal.com/collections/view/18/275

AyumiKanariya · April 2010

I found a discount site - but Im unsure about using it...has anyone here used it before?

http://www.topbridaldress.com is the site - the dress is only 858 dollars on it.

My family is trying to make me look at other dresses.

Re: My family is trying to make me look at other dresses.

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