Just need to get it out...

lovetruly06 · June 2011

Ok so im not trying to whine here but I need to vent alittle.

I understand just how much money we do and do not have for our wedding, that why all the DIY projects (FI wants to BUILD a dance floor. Really) So im ok with going cheap on some things.

But the idea of having a friend doing our photos makes me nervous for reasons I can't even think of.

I will openly admit I am a pessimist. With all the rotten crap I dealt with growing up there are still days im surprised im a fully functional adult and while I know that past is that past and i've been able to emotionally move on from alot of things. I still for the most part always expect things to go wrong. I try not to but old ways and habits die hard.

Which is part of the reason why I don't want anyone but a professional doing our photos. Something Ken doesn't seem to understand, or even want to understand it seems like. And at the same time there's a selfishness to it. I WANT a professionals, is that really so bad. If nothing else can't I have this one thing that I want. I feel like im giving up or sacrificing so much that I don't want to give this up too, which is stupid I know, but I have never claimed to be rational all the time.

Lately ever time I bring up photos Ken keeps saying why don't we have april do them she did our engagement photos. I love April, she did a wonderful job but everytime I think about it I keep coming up against well if something goes wrong or if I don't like the photos, theres nothing I can do, thats family.

I've known April since she was born, she is my younger sisters best friend. And her older sister is my best friend (we have been best friends for nearly 22 years) we all grew up together in the same church, our parents where best friends so on a so forth. So I know her, her work ethic and so on, but I can't shake the feeling that something is going to go wrong, and it has nothing to do with her. And this is making me feel awful, like she was good enough for the engagement photos but the the wedding photos when that is not it.

I just kinda feel like if we hired someone and I didn't like what they did I would have more options and I wouldn't be hurting family.

But if I went with her it's someone I know and trust, and is it wrong to just simply want something just because it's what I want. I would also like to point out that April her self has said nothing about doing our photos, in fact when I asked her questions about photography packages from different companies she pointed me in the direction of which was best.

I just don't know anything anymore. Im a freaking walking contradiction and I even give myself a headache.

I don't know what to do or think anymore right now the only thing I want to do is beat FI over the head untill he agrees with what I want, but I think that in it's self would be counter productive.

emarston1 · June 2011

First of all, I completely understand where you are coming from. Pictures were the #1 priority for me (above the location, dress, EVERYTHING). I went with a photographer who was a bit out of my budget because I fell in love with her photos and had confidence that she would do a great job. That being said...

But at the same time, you keep saying you would have more options if you didn't hire a friend and didn't like your photos? What type of options? Besides not having to see the person ever again (which is a big thing), it's not like a professional would be able to recreate your wedding and give you the pictures you wanted after the fact.

I wouldn't take the fact that April hasn't said anything as a sign she doesn't want to do it. She probably just doesn't want to push herself on you. Or maybe she doesn't want to be your photographer but you'll never know until you ask her so making assumptions isn't going to help you.

But ulitimately it comes down to money. You either have the money for a professional or you don't. Take your emotion out of it and look at your budget.

And yes, beating your fiance over the head WILL be counterproductive.

Meegles4 · June 2011

Liz is right that April is probably just trying not to be too overbearing and pushy. Since she did your e-photos, I'm sure she'd love to do your wedding photos.

I do agree with you that if something goes wrong, it makes it more complicated because it's family. Ask Zulamay about her recent DJ woes.

But, frankly, a professional could screw it up too. Photography is the most important thing to me as well, and I'm spending double what I'd budgeted for a photographer that I love. But that doesn't mean that I'm not freaked out that I'm going to end up not loving the photos. My photographer has a great eye, but she also does things I'm not a fan of. Will she listen to my requests or do her own thing? Regardless of who you hire (family or professional), it's not like you can stand over their camera and look at every shot. You're putting a lot of trust in someone.

It sounds like you trust April, so in some ways that might be better that hiring a professional because you have a level of comfort already established. She's also done your e-pics so she's comfortable with you and your FI.

rcj2rcd · June 2011

ditto everything Liz said.

I feel for you, finding and booking the photog was, hands-down, the biggest struggle of the wedding for me.

lisa89760 · June 2011

I agree with PP's.

My FI actually at one point said "why do we need a professional photographer, everyone has digital cameras" uhhh Photography was a very important part for me and it was the second thing we booked after the venue. And we both love our photographer!

I agree with the above poster about pro's being able to screw it up too. I would go with someone you are both comfortable with.

LOTON01 · June 2011

Photos are a huge deal and were so important to me. I also stood by the fact that if the photos are screwed up you can't go back and retake them so you need to trust your photographer. It seems like you trust April. Also I feel like April knows you guys as a couple and will take pictures that are you guys. However, if you feel like this is something you really want then go for it and spend less on other things.

drewmw · June 2011

I understand completely! We are having a friend do our engagement photos, and considered a non-professional for our wedding photos too. My FI wanted to save money by having a friend to it, but I was a little skeptical. We made a list of pros and cons, which helped us figure out exaclty what we want. What finally convinced us to go professional was we thought it would be best to go with someone familiar with the venue, for numerous reasons. We have obviously never been married there (outdoors, in a garden) before, so we have no idea where to do pictures, what would look good, etc. I'm sure a friend could take some really good pictures, but they don't have the experience and eye for the potential of the venue. Also, it would probably save time having a professional do it, because they have that experience and can go right from one shot to the next without thinking too much.

We have decided to go with Essence of Life Photography. They have really reasonable prices, and travel anywhere in Michigan for free. Check them out

zulamay · June 2011

To sum it up - I ignored the "Don't use family/friends rule" and 3 months away from the wedding found out we weren't going to have a DJ because my family member was being divorced out of the family. Take my word for it: Don't use friends or family.

It's not worth the stress, and no matter how diplomatically you say it, there is no good way to say you don't like something or you're firing someone if you are already friends with them.

Just need to get it out...

Re: Just need to get it out...

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