Where did I go wrong????

Dan&Holly12 · July 2012

We sent out our invitations on Monday and everyone received them by yesterday afternoon.

We are not inviting any kids to the wedding or reception because it would probably end up being close to 50 kids that we would have invited. I sent out the invitations addressed to only the adults, with their individual names on the inner envelope.

I have already had multiple people contact me to question whether their kids are invited or not.... I tried to make that clear with the invites but I guess it isn't clear to people for some reason. This is the type of stuff that makes my frustration level peak!

binnie1 · July 2012

Sorry you are so frustrated - I feel your pain! I have learned that people just don't get it. I think the only other thing you could have done was specified on the invite "adult only reception".

lbarr088 · July 2012

You didn't go wrong anywhere. Sometimes people just flat out don't realize which can be obnoxious. I'm sure I will have to deal with that stuff once my invitations go out.

CowgirlK39 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_where-did-i-go-wrong?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:eedb097c-1758-4b93-b928-710a4bde72d7Post:3b6bdcbc-62fc-42a1-995e-3ef90560c281">Re: Where did I go wrong????</a>:
[QUOTE]Sorry you are so frustrated - I feel your pain! I have learned that people just don't get it. I think the only other thing you could have done was specified on the invite "adult only reception".
Posted by binnie1[/QUOTE]

I second this. Sometimes people are totally oblivious unless you completely spell it out for them. I had to go back and edit my reception cards because I almost forgot about that. At this point though I think if people ask, you should practice a line like "Sadly no, children are not invited due to our budget/space, But we will still have a good time!"

jamie5482 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_where-did-i-go-wrong?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:eedb097c-1758-4b93-b928-710a4bde72d7Post:dab5ee3d-eae8-43a6-b157-39a916d2fe6a">Re: Where did I go wrong????</a>:
[QUOTE]You didn't go wrong anywhere. Sometimes people just flat out don't realize which can be obnoxious. I'm sure I will have to deal with that stuff once my invitations go out.
Posted by lbarr088[/QUOTE]
I completely agree. Even if it seems obvious to you it's not always clear for other people. Try not to let it get you down, it seems like most people deal with this issue! We aren't inviting kids but we've still gotten plenty of questions about it, it's just part of the wedding planning fun... :)

MrsBassPlaya · July 2012

A lot of people don't understand wedding ettiquite at all. That totally sucks, but you should be thankful they're asking if kids are invited first before responding. A lot of ladies are getting responses back including the kids without people even asking if they can bring their kids. Just let people know there's no kids when they ask. They should understand. And who wouldn't want a date night at a nice wedding away from the kids?

CowgirlK39 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_where-did-i-go-wrong?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:eedb097c-1758-4b93-b928-710a4bde72d7Post:91502525-ec5b-438e-8276-3271dfde3608">Re: Where did I go wrong????</a>:
[QUOTE]A lot of people don't understand wedding ettiquite at all. That totally sucks, but you should be thankful they're asking if kids are invited first before responding. <strong>A lot of ladies are getting responses back including the kids without people even asking if they can bring their kids. </strong> Just let people know there's no kids when they ask. They should understand. And who wouldn't want a date night at a nice wedding away from the kids?
Posted by MrsBassPlaya[/QUOTE]

This is very true. We worried this would be the very case with FI's ex-boss. They are the type of people who bring their awful kids to everything no matter what and expect others to watch them for them. However we later decided to take them off the list all together. There is a good chance you would have been asked this no matter what.

loinmo · July 2012

We are not having children at our wedding or reception. Our invites went out 7/5. I have only had 1 inquiry about bringing children and so far no children have been added to the RSVP's. However, we are a bit concerned about a couple of his coworkers.

Dan&Holly12 · July 2012

Well thanks for helping me calm down. LOL

I was just getting more and more annoyed as people were asking. I really hope we don't have people RSVP for their kids to come. So, I guess it's better for them to ask instead of assuming.

danigirl7181 · July 2012

I had someone respond Mr. & Mrs. plus kids. The kids names were not on the invitation. We are having kids, but only immediate family. I now have to call them and tell them the kids are not invited to the dinnerbut cn come the to reception only, ugh. Should be fun. And is it bad that I won't be upset if they dicide not to come at all? Our guest list 255 and our venue only seats 250. We are going to be jammed in there.

mamameech · July 2012

I think the fact that not everyone follows the "etiquette rules" makes it a bit confusing as well. Although it's clear to us, people may not fully "get it". It's prob best that they call/contact you than just assume and show up with the kids!
I know we got an invite which was addressed to just FI and I, but the RSVP card had 3 slots for meals (so my son included). We've also had invites addressed to us with no indication of including Noah (which was fine) but when we went, they scorned us for not bringing him! It's not always obvious :P

Smooch711 · July 2012

The second response card we got back was from his cousin. She included her husband and her son. Her son was not invited. I did the same as you: addressed it as Mr. & Mrs. X.

I don't get it either. We have yet to decide how to handle it. Her son is under age 5, so he's free, but that's not the f'ing point. I'm hoping FI can call her and deal with it since it's his side!

So now as every RSVP card comes in, I'm opening it as I hold my breath.

jacquiroxx · July 2012

We spread it word-of-mouth before invites even went out. I don't know if that's tacky or anything, but it's certainly worked and I haven't heard any hard feelings. I did reach out and talk to Fi's aunt because her daughter was hinting at wanted to be the FG. So I had a private conversation with her explaining our child-free wedding. She much appreciated that I sought her out, and she got to work making weddings sound really boring- now her daughter is really excited for the weekend away at her dad's mom's house while her parents attend our "boring" event haha.

Apparently a lot of people are trying really hard to follow my no kids rule- to the point where they're asking the girls if they can bring kids to the shower! Haha. I don't mind them- I LOVE kids- I'm a preschool teacher for god's sake. Our venue just doesn't have the room, and if you invite one, you have to invite them all.

Where did I go wrong????

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