Earn cash as you plan. Get a $20 gift card for every 200 points with The Knot Rewards
Wedding Recap and Withdrawal
How much money did you receive as gifts?
Maybe this is a weird/prying question, but FI and I are dirt-poor college students. If we don't get enough money from guests as wedding gifts, we can kiss any honeymoon plans goodbye. We might even have to dip into my savings to fly back home.
So how much did you get from your guests? And how many guests did you have?
So how much did you get from your guests? And how many guests did you have?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: How much money did you receive as gifts?
My Bio
We got enough to complete our registry, and upgrade things on our honeymoon. We planned to pay for it all ourselves, because we didn't expect other people to pay for something that we wanted.
Honeymoons aren't required and you shouldn't be banking on your guests funding it (or your flights back home). Don't expect monetary or physical gifts. DH and I were floored by people's generosity at our wedding but it was completely unexpected. We got more monetary gifts than physical, but we had not allocated the money we received for anything.
[QUOTE]If you can't afford a HM.. or to fly back home.. How are you affording college?
Posted by firsttimersluck[/QUOTE]
This. This, this, this, this, this, this, THIS!
Also, I don't know about you, but my mother taught me that it's NEVER polite to ask about how much money someone recieved. Good gravy!
[QUOTE]Maybe this is a weird/prying question, but FI and I are dirt-poor college students. If we don't get enough money from guests as wedding gifts, we can kiss any honeymoon plans goodbye. We might even have to dip into my savings to fly back home. So how much did you get from your guests? And how many guests did you have?
Posted by PeanutThomas[/QUOTE]
<div>I feel sympathy with your brokeishness because I'm currently on the job hunt. However, as soon as you start wondering how much <em>your </em>guests are going to give you, you're setting yourself up for a bad, stressful time. Here's why:</div><div>
</div><div>If you and your FI are dirt-poor college students, I'm going to guess that at least 10% of your guest list are also near that dirt-poor college student demographic. If you did invite age-mates, do you want to set yourself up to be mad at them if they gift you something small and heartfelt rather than writing you a check (or writing you too small a check)?</div><div>
</div><div>Oh, and also, you'll be stressed if anyone on this board tells you how much they were gifted if they had equivalent guest numbers <em>but </em>received more (or mad at your guests for not being "equally generous").</div><div>
</div><div>At this point, you should kiss honeymoon plans goodbye <em>for now</em>.<strong> You cannot budget around gifts you haven't been given yet.</strong> If you can plan on the fly, you can take a honeymoon soon after the wedding, and scale it to however much you receive. If not, PP's suggestion that you save for a first anniversary trip is very appropriate.</div><div>
</div><div>You could also take stock of anything you legitimately own--bikes, tvs, couches, whatever--that could bring in some money on Craigslist or Ebay and see how much you can raise toward your honeymoon.</div><div>
</div><div>Good luck.</div>
I'm paying for college through an account (forget what it's called) that I can't touch except to pay for tuition.
We took another hard look at the budget last night and there is enough to get us there and back, but only just.
We haven't actually planned anything for the honeymoon. No reservations, nada. So we're not counting on taking a honeymoon after the wedding, if we ever get to take a honeymoon.
How did we not budget in transport costs in the first place? We're dumb college students, apparently.
This is the first and last time I'll ever post here. I thought this board existed partially for already-married Knotties to help other brides. Apparently it's just to make them feel really terrible about themselves.
So you forgot to budget in for something important. It happens. It just means that you go back over your budget and cut here and there until you figure it out, which is what you're doing. So why even ask?
No one has to get you a gift, cash or otherwise. And a honeymoon isn't required, especially not right away. You can save up and go on one later, or just take a few days away together by car and do fun stuff nearby - amusment parks, water park, tacky tourist attractions, hole in the wall restaruants, museums, lakes, whatever you have nearby. Go camping, if you enjoy it. Get a motel room in a city close by and just hang out and explore for a few days. All of these count as honeymoons, and are inexpensive things you can do at the last minute IF you get a few hundred dollars in gifts. The point of a honeymoon is to spend time together starting out your new life, which you can do just as easily in a hotel in your own city or in your own home as you can on a beach somewhere far away.
Based on how much we spent on our wedding, we didn't receive half of that in monetary gifts. With that being said, you can always take a honeymoon later. Plan the wedding you can afford whether it's a 5k wedding or a JOP wedding.
[QUOTE]Holy cow. I knew asking financial questions was a little dicey in terms of ettiquette, but I had no idea I'd be raked over the coals for this. I'm paying for college through an account (forget what it's called) that I can't touch except to pay for tuition. We took another hard look at the budget last night and there is enough to get us there and back, but only just. We haven't actually planned anything for the honeymoon. No reservations, nada. So we're not counting on taking a honeymoon after the wedding, if we ever get to take a honeymoon. How did we not budget in transport costs in the first place? We're dumb college students, apparently. This is the first and last time I'll ever post here. I thought this board existed partially for already-married Knotties to help other brides. Apparently it's just to make them feel really terrible about themselves.
Posted by PeanutThomas[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>The reason I posted was not to make you feel bad about yourself. It's because some brides are gifted a couple hundred dollars and some are gifted tens of thousands of dollars and, at the end of the day, those gifts come from people whose feelings will be hurt if you indicate that you wanted or expected more.
</div>
We did not have the money before the wedding for a fancy honeymoon so we did not plan on going anywhere. Yes we did receive some cash but the bulk of it came from our parents and siblings. We stayed close to home and enjoyed things like going out to a fancy dinner. Would I have preferred a trip to Maui? Of course, but we have been before and we will go another time when we have the extra cash to enjoy great activites like paddle boarding, dinner cruise, parasailing, and exciting restaurants. I could not imagine taking a trip with only enough cash to get there and back. Boring and a waste of money. Take your time to save the cash to have a better vacation at a later date.
[QUOTE]man i wanted to read this to see what people got in $$ terms cuz im always curious about it as in average..... shoudl ahve thought she would have just gotten chewed out.. its liek people who ask how much was ur house or how much u make.. ive never been like that and <strong>could care less if u know how much money i got at my wedding, birthday, at my job</strong>.... i havent had my wedding yet but my family just gives gifts so im hoping for at least 2g. thats a low balll, i get about 400 on my birthday and i make about 30 a year :) its not that serious people
Posted by boomboom1243[/QUOTE]
OFFERING that information yourself is not a problem. ASKING for that information from other people IS.
[QUOTE]man i wanted to read this to see what people got in $$ terms cuz im always curious about it as in average..... shoudl ahve thought she would have just gotten chewed out..<strong> its liek people who ask how much was ur house or how much u make.. ive never been like that and could care less if u know how much money i got at my wedding, birthday, at my job.... </strong>i havent had my wedding yet but my family just gives gifts so im hoping for at least 2g. thats a low balll, i get about 400 on my birthday and i make about 30 a year :) its not that serious people
Posted by boomboom1243[/QUOTE]
Just because YOU don't care if you are asked that and would readily supply that information doesn't mean other people want to, and it doesn't make it not rude to ask. Asking how much someone makes or what they paid for a house is rude, especially if you don't know the person (like OP asking Internet strangers), but still rude if you do know them. If you want to volunteer that info, go ahead, but getting bent out of shape when someone asks me a rude question is entirely normal. Chewing with your mouth open is rude. Just because it doesn't bother some people, doesn't mean it still isn't rude and you probably shouldn't do it around someone if you don't know if they will find it rude.
[QUOTE]man i wanted to read this to see what people got in $$ terms cuz im always curious about it as in average..... shoudl ahve thought she would have just gotten chewed out.. its liek people who ask how much was ur house or how much u make.. ive never been like that and could care less if u know how much money i got at my wedding, birthday, at my job.... i havent had my wedding yet but my family just gives gifts so im hoping for at least 2g. thats a low balll, i get about 400 on my birthday and i make about 30 a year :) its not that serious people
Posted by boomboom1243[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>
</div><div>I personally have no problem with internet strangers asking such questions.. We choose whether or not to answer them. That's the beauty of the interwebs :o) </div><div>I don't think that's what is upsetting people for the most part.. It's more about expecting some random number because they have such poor financing abilities. </div><div>And it's ridiculous to me that OP to think that asking a bunch of people with all different backgrounds, from all different locations, with all different numbers of guests what they made off their weddings. It's one thing to ask for sheer curiousity, and another to think that asking such a question should ACTUALLY help her know what to "expect".</div><div>If you can't afford to take a trip you can't afford to take a trip. OP should be thankful that she even gets to spend time with her H after the wedding. Some of us didn't get such time ;)
</div>
Sorry you got chewed out. To answer your question we got a little bit over $3000 total head count was about 150 guest. I hope this helps.
[QUOTE]Sorry you got chewed out. To answer your question we got a little bit over $3000 total head count was about 150 guest. I hope this helps.
Posted by grcrocio[/QUOTE]
But you can't go by this..I invited 200 people and we were given a little over 200.00 so you really can't go by what other people get..
[QUOTE]Holy cow. I knew asking financial questions was a little dicey in terms of ettiquette, but I had no idea I'd be raked over the coals for this. I'm paying for college through an account (forget what it's called) that I can't touch except to pay for tuition. We took another hard look at the budget last night and there is enough to get us there and back, but only just. We haven't actually planned anything for the honeymoon. No reservations, nada. So we're not counting on taking a honeymoon after the wedding, if we ever get to take a honeymoon. How did we not budget in transport costs in the first place? We're dumb college students, apparently. This is the first and last time I'll ever post here. I thought this board existed partially for already-married Knotties to help other brides. Apparently it's just to make them feel really terrible about themselves.
Posted by PeanutThomas[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I agree! You didn't ask this question, so that people can teach you a lesson. All you wanted was an answer. If they don't have an answer, then they can move on. I was actually interested in a real answer myself, just out of curiousity. I honestly don't think it's a terrible question, this is just an internet forum. I've seen people ask far worse...
</div>
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: How much money did you receive as gifts? : I agree! You didn't ask this question, so that people can teach you a lesson. All you wanted was an answer. If they don't have an answer, then they can move on.<strong> I was actually interested in a real answer myself,</strong> just out of curiousity. I honestly don't think it's a terrible question, this is just an internet forum. I've seen people ask far worse...
Posted by keringtonp[/QUOTE]
But the point is the answers don't matter! Our guests are not your guests. One person could say they got $5000 for their wedding. How does that help you? That does not mean you will get $5000 from your guests. Another person may say they got $500. That doesn't mean you will. Every single person on here had different guests at their wedding, so what a random sampling of Internet strangers would say doesn't have any bearing whatsoever on what you or OP can expect to "make" at your wedding.
Besides that, OP admitted this was a weird and prying question. We affirmed that it was. She put something out there, and you can't control the responses you get on an Internet forum, like them or not.
April 2013 - October Siggy Challenge: Venue
Save the Date - Music Poster Inspired STD's
People are too damn sensitive around here.
[QUOTE]I know someone who made over $15k for a 120 person wedding. I won't. It doesn't do me any good to know that that person made $15k, know what I mean?
Posted by EK2013[/QUOTE]
Wow, good for them. If they're in the NYC area, that doesn't surprise me at all. What does surprise me is that they shared that info with you. Only DH and I know how much we received in gifts. No one has asked & we wouldn't tell anyway.
My Bio
I agree, people are too damn sensitive about a silly little question that they DECIDE to respond to!!
April 2013 - October Siggy Challenge: Venue
Save the Date - Music Poster Inspired STD's