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Pre-wedding Parties

Showers and Regional customs

Hi ladies,

I posted this on a previous thread and started thinking that I was curious enough about the answers to start a separate thread.  From reading the boards, it sounds like lots of ladies from different parts of the country than I'm from do showers differently than I'm accustomed to.  I'm curious if you all can let me know what is common in your area to see if it's a regional thing.  PS - I'm from CT.

1. Out of the showers that you gals have been to, who has hosted the shower?  In my experiences it's always been a relative of the bride (usually the mom, but sometimes a sister or Aunt).

2. Have you known people to have multiple showers?  I've only seen brides get one (hosted by the above) and usually it's only her side who attends with the exception of the MOG and his immediate family.  Another exception is when there is a divorce, then 2 showers can often occur (one hosted by mom and one hosted by stepmom).

3.  If you're invited to a shower or wedding and cannot attend, do you give a gift?  I would always give a gift and feel compeled to give a gift regardless of attendance in both situations.  I would personally feel rude if I didn't.

4. How large was the shower and where do they usually occur?  Most of the ones I've been to have been 30+ and are usually at a restaurant with a full meal and wine provided.

5. How many surprise showers have you been to?  My mom seems to think that EVERYONE has a surprise shower (because her's was 35 years ago).  I don't think they're very common anymore.

Re: Showers and Regional customs

  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited January 2013
    Good idea. I'm from CT and MA

    1. Usually the MOB, grandmother of the Bride or other close relative of the bride. The bride's relatives, wedding party, close friends and close relatives of the groom are usually invited. The bms are not expected to help out financially with the shower, although they often voluteer to help with hosting duties.

    2. Usually there is one shower. Occasionally, If there bride and grooms family live far apart, there may be one on each side, hosted by the moms. The moms and sisters of the bride and groom are invited to both so they can 'meet the Fockers.'

    3. If I can't attend the wedding, I would still send a gift from the couple's registry. If I attend the shower, I purchase a gift from the registry and bring a card with a $$ gift for the wedding.

    4. I've been to so many showers that I don't really know. My daughter's shower was hosted by her grandmother, country club luncheon for 18 guests. It was on the smaller side for my social group because our family is small and the groom's family doesn't live in CT.  Most of the showers that I have attended have been for 30+ guests and have been in a wide assortment of venues - someone's backyard (bbq), a small castle, restaurant, church basement (oh yah - that was the largest- about 60 guests), restaurants and places like the Elks, Knights of Columbus etc...

    ETA- I have never been to a wedding shower that didn't include a meal, usually a buffet lunch. Most have included wine with lunch or a cocktail.


    I would like to add that the cake and punch showers that have been mentioned sound lovely and sensible.
                       
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_showers-and-regional-customs?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:7ef22006-60fa-4f0a-9883-17f8cf4c0d38Post:3e39fef2-2326-4763-9bad-549f99371dc3">Re: Showers and Regional customs</a>:
    [QUOTE]Good idea. I'm from CT and MA 1. Usually the MOB, grandmother of the Bride or other close relative of the bride. The bride's relatives, wedding party, close friends and close relatives of the groom are usually invited. The bms are not expected to help out financially with the shower, although they often voluteer to help with hosting duties. 2. Usually there is one shower. Occasionally, If there bride and grooms family live far apart, there may be one on each side, hosted by the moms. The moms and sisters of the bride and groom are invited to both so they can 'meet the Fockers.' 3. If I can't attend the wedding, I would still send a gift from the couple's registry. If I attend the shower, I purchase a gift from the registry and bring a card with a $$ gift for the wedding. 4. I've been to so many showers that I don't really know. My daughter's shower was hosted by her grandmother, country club luncheon for 18 guests. It was on the smaller side for my social group because our family is small and the groom's family doesn't live in CT.  Most of the showers that I have attended have been for 30+ guests and have been in a wide assortment of venues - someone's backyard (bbq), a small castle, restaurant, church basement (oh yah - that was the largest- about 60 guests), restaurants and places like the Elks, Knights of Columbus etc...<strong> I would like to add that the cake and punch showers that have been mentioned sound lovely and sensible.</strong>
    Posted by MairePoppy[/QUOTE]
    I absolutely agree!  They sound similar to many baby shower's I've been to.
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited January 2013
    I am originally from Illinois and spent the last 10 years in Texas. Now I'm in Virginia but haven't been to any weddings or showers here yet.

    1. It's always been a relative except one that was hosted by a friend of the bride. 

    2. All the showers I have been to have been for people who had multiples. That's probably why the only showers I have been to have been about 15 people, tops. They were all people who had people who fit into different groups who wanted to host them (work, church, family, friends, etc). 

    3. I've always attended the showers I was invited to, and I would lean toward saying yes I would send a gift even if I couldn't be there. With weddings, it depends on how close I am to the couple. I am a teacher and am often invited to weddings of my former students. I have attended a few and declined a few due to other commitments. For the ones I declined, I didn't send a gift. 

    4. All the showers I've been to have been about 15 people, tops, and they are at someone's home with cake, punch, fruit, etc.  I had never even heard of having a shower at another location until coming to TK. 

    5. I have never been to a surprise shower. I would HATE that if someone threw one for me. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I agree about the surprise showers. My dear friend's daughter showed up at her shower in sloppy sweats and a pony tail because she thought she was just dropping off something to a friend. That was the castle shower. I felt terrible for her because all the guests were dressed nicely and some buffoon was snapping pictures of the shocked bride. She's a lovely girl, though, and took it in stride.
                       
  • Jager1219Jager1219 member
    500 Comments First Anniversary
    edited January 2013
    Yea, I hate them too.  I told my mom no surprises & her response was "what makes you so different than everyone else?"  She's now trying to talk me into faking a surprise for my shower (not gonna happen).  She also doesn't believe that my cousin's "surprise shower" really wasn't a surprise.  She showed up in a white cocktail dress...I don't know about anyone else, but that's not something I would normally wear if I was just going for lunch with my FH.
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    That's exactly my fear. I would not want to show up looking like a Schlumpadinka!
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • 1. Out of the showers that you gals have been to, who has hosted the shower?  Usually the mom or sisters of the bride, maybe cohosted by bm

    2. Have you known people to have multiple showers? Maybe an additional work or church shower, but usually friends and family from both sides attend the same shower.

    3.  If you're invited to a shower or wedding and cannot attend, do you give a gift?  Nope, it wouldn't even occur to me. 

    4. How large was the shower and where do they usually occur?  Everey shower I've been to has been in someone's home. Usually fairly casual with cake, punch and some snacky type foods (fruit tray, crackers, maybe sandwiches)

    5. How many surprise showers have you been to?  None. And I've been to tons.
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  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited January 2013
    Born and raised in the Chicago area.....

    1.  Relatives typically host the showers.  In our family, it is usually the aunts of the bride or groom.  As the MOB/MOG, I actively participate/contribute, but moreso as the "silent" partner.  We typically do NOT invite any and all female guests invited to the wedding.  Our showers usually only include family and close friends.

    2.  There is typically one family shower, where  close friends and family of both the bride and groom are invited.  Occasionally, if the bride and groom both have larger families, each side will host a shower.  We have many teachers in our family, and more often than not, there is an additional work related shower.
     
    3.  Whether I attend or not, I always bring/send a gift for both the shower and wedding.  It is unusual for me to decline attendance at either.  The typical reason for not attending a shower would be because the event is many hours from home.  In the case of a wedding, we would always stay the night.

    4.  Almost every shower has been hosted in a home.  The guest count is typically between 20 and 40.  It always includes a full meal, and light cocktails.  We have hosted a restaurant event for a smaller shower.  We find the house showers more personal, flexible, and comfortable.  

    5.  I have never attended nor hosted a surprise shower.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_showers-and-regional-customs?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:7ef22006-60fa-4f0a-9883-17f8cf4c0d38Post:68a8eb52-4e8f-47d4-ade7-8014d8ebbd3a">Showers and Regional customs</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi ladies, I posted this on a previous thread and started thinking that I was curious enough about the answers to start a separate thread.  From reading the boards, it sounds like lots of ladies from different parts of the country than I'm from do showers differently than I'm accustomed to.  I'm curious if you all can let me know what is common in your area to see if it's a regional thing.  PS - I'm from CT.
     1. Out of the showers that you gals have been to, who has hosted the shower?  In my experiences it's always been a relative of the bride (usually the mom, but sometimes a sister or Aunt).  <strong>Always the bridesmaids</strong>

     2. Have you known people to have multiple showers?  I've only seen brides get one (hosted by the above) and usually it's only her side who attends with the exception of the MOG and his immediate family.  Another exception is when there is a divorce, then 2 showers can often occur (one hosted by mom and one hosted by stepmom). <strong>I've only seen one shower per bride, thrown by her side of the family.</strong>

    3.  If you're invited to a shower or wedding and cannot attend, do you give a gift?  I would always give a gift and feel compeled to give a gift regardless of attendance in both situations.  I would personally feel rude if I didn't.  <strong>Yes it is expected that you send a gift, either with someone that is going or through the mail.</strong>

     4. How large was the shower and where do they usually occur?  Most of the ones I've been to have been 30+ and are usually at a restaurant with a full meal and wine provided.
    <strong>Showers are pretty big here in NJ. Always over 30 people people. They are usually Sunday brunches at a restaurant.  A full meal and mimosa is served.</strong>

    5. How many surprise showers have you been to?  My mom seems to think that EVERYONE has a surprise shower (because her's was 35 years ago).  I don't think they're very common anymore. <strong>All moms I know think showers have to be a surprise.  Every shower I've been to the bride has always found out and acted surprised to appease her mom.</strong>
    Posted by Jager1219[/QUOTE]
     
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_showers-and-regional-customs?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:7ef22006-60fa-4f0a-9883-17f8cf4c0d38Post:e1ebfa33-cb31-4316-83be-a1ffbc7d12bb">Re: Showers and Regional customs</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Showers and Regional customs :
    Posted by HobokenBride2012[/QUOTE]


    Ah. My moms originally from jersey. Maybe that's why she thinks they all need to be a surprise..
  • 1. Out of the showers that you gals have been to, who has hosted the shower? Sometimes MIL/mom, sometimes BMs/friends

    2. Have you known people to have multiple showers? Yep-I got three! My MOH had two.

    3.  If you're invited to a shower or wedding and cannot attend, do you give a gift? Depends how close I am to the person. I had to miss one of my MOH's showers and sent a gift. On the other hand, I got a random invitation to a distant cousin's wedding (I think we've talked once our whole lives) and declined with no gift

    4. How large was the shower and where do they usually occur?  My showers were usually 20-30 people. Two of mine were at a house, one at a restaurant.

    5. How many surprise showers have you been to?  0


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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_showers-and-regional-customs?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:7ef22006-60fa-4f0a-9883-17f8cf4c0d38Post:ee7940e1-3858-4562-9d8e-1c41403d30ea">Re: Showers and Regional customs</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Showers and Regional customs : Ah. My moms originally from jersey. Maybe that's why she thinks they all need to be a surprise..
    Posted by Jager1219[/QUOTE]

    I swear it's craziness.  I told my mom I wanted to know when it was so I could get an outfit.  She argued with my like I was asking for permission to commit murder.  So then my mom and BP tried to pull one over on me and host my shower 5 months early under the guise of a birthday party for me. Well that backfired 1) because that was a stupid lie that I saw right threw and 2) because they didn't bother checking my work schedule.  I am a proctor for colledge admissions testing and work every weekend in October so I couldn't make my own shower. I told her right away because invites hadn't been sent out yet and they could change plans.  This was the start of the drama around my bridal shower. She told me I was being ungrateful and had no business knowing anything about my shower.  I told her what's the point of having a shower if the bride can't make it.  After many arguments and frantic phone calls to all of my BMs they finally agreed to pick another date which happened to be in January because that was the only other date the resturant had available. My mom is still upset about my shower. It will be a year on Sunday.
     
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  • Jager1219Jager1219 member
    500 Comments First Anniversary
    edited January 2013
    Sounds like our moms are twins :). I do wonder if its a jersey thing. My friends in ct don't get it either. My shower isn't a surprise after much debate (I think my mom realized she couldn't pull it off) but what I loved was her wanting me to fake a surprise to appease her. In her words "the guests don't need to you that it's not a surprise". I think she's nuts but now that I'm getting it may just be a jersey thing I guess i can sorta understand
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_showers-and-regional-customs?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:7ef22006-60fa-4f0a-9883-17f8cf4c0d38Post:c2dd6d82-cc30-4ff7-86fa-cf51a8339f36">Re: Showers and Regional customs</a>:
    [QUOTE]Sounds like our moms are twins :). I do wonder if its a jersey thing. My friends in ct don't get it either. My shower isn't a surprise after much debate (I think my mom realized she couldn't pull it off) but what I loved was her wanting me to fake a surprise to appease her. In her words "the guests don't need to you that it's not a surprise". I think she's nuts but now that I'm getting it may just be a jersey thing I guess i can sorta understand
    Posted by Jager1219[/QUOTE]

    Does your mom happen to be Italian too? If so it's double the craziness.  I'll admit I was so upset over the drama that lead up to my shower that I was a total b!tch about it and threatened not to show. I showed up late on purpose to make them sweat it out.
     
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  • Let me explain the act surprised thing.  The older generation of women - over 50, will look down on the mom and host as failures if the shower is not in fact a surprise.  It means they somehow failed the bride in some imaginary way.  So out of fear of embarrassment they would rather you lie. Stupid I know.  Everyone our generation knows it's ridiculous.
     
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  • Haha. No polish but I swear its the same (knowing my share of Italians)
  • Thanks for the insight Hoboken. My mom will be 60 next year so she falls in that category. I'm glad I started this thread-I would never understand it otherwise
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_showers-and-regional-customs?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:7ef22006-60fa-4f0a-9883-17f8cf4c0d38Post:4d98a956-4667-4f0d-ab5f-007a992e9d1b">Re: Showers and Regional customs</a>:
    [QUOTE]Haha. No polish but I swear its the same (knowing my share of Italians)
    Posted by Jager1219[/QUOTE]

    I think that's probably true.
     
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_showers-and-regional-customs?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:7ef22006-60fa-4f0a-9883-17f8cf4c0d38Post:8075ba2a-b1a5-412b-ae3a-cb8db6ce7566">Re: Showers and Regional customs</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks for the insight Hoboken. My mom will be 60 next year so she falls in that category. I'm glad I started this thread-I would never understand it otherwise
    Posted by Jager1219[/QUOTE]

    My aunt had to sit me down and explain this to me when I was having a nervous breakdown over my shower. She was the only person who was on my side about this. Now that I understand where it's coming from it makes total sense. It's just a very old school way of thinking.  Hell mom's still give brides white nightgowns for their first time on their wedding night. It's always the last gift given at the bridal shower.  More stupidity I know.
     
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  • Now the nightgown thing is a new one for me. I haven't seen that one before.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_showers-and-regional-customs?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:7ef22006-60fa-4f0a-9883-17f8cf4c0d38Post:a2b507c7-4204-478a-a981-e827c731161f">Re: Showers and Regional customs</a>:
    [QUOTE]Now the nightgown thing is a new one for me. I haven't seen that one before.
    Posted by Jager1219[/QUOTE]

    That just may be Jersey Italians... I've seen it a every shower including my own. 
     
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  • This is a great topic and I'm glad to hear different perspectives, especially since I'm in the process of a crazy shower for a friend.  I'm in Colorado


    1. Usually a MOB, or MOH, BM host the shower.

    2. I've mostly seen 1 shower for the bride, unless the office does something small ususally just a cake and group gift..

    3.  If I was really close to the bride I would send a gift if I could not attend the shower.  However, my FIs cousin had a shower, and I've been with his 8 years and met his cousin less than a handful of times and I didn't send a gift.  I did want to send one and had a plan, but my budget didn't allow for it.

    4. Most of the showers I've attended have about 25 people attending, although I'm currently involved in a crazy wedding (I'm a BM) adn the guest list is 100 people, but that is certainly not anything I've ever seen before. Most showers are a brunch or lunceon, not USUALLY over the top. Many have been hosted by close family and friends and they all bring a dish and also help set up/clean up, etc.

    5. I've never been to a suprise shower.
  • I don't usually post in this area, but was poking around TK & found this question interesting.  I'm in northern NJ.

    1. My hosting experience has always been the bridesmaids & MOH all equally, often with help from the MOB.  The one exception was a wedding/shower in MA, when I was a BM & was pleasantly surprised at the MOB telling us not to worry about it, that she was taking care of the whole shower because she knew we were all OOT and/or grad students & broke.  I really appreciated that, since I'd assumed I'd have to shell out for it.

    2. I've only ever known of one shower per wedding.  I suppose others could have been thrown to which I wasn't invited, but I've only ever known of one per.  I always throught the multiple shower thing I see on TK is a little weird, but that's because showers I've been to have been big & included everyone.

    3.  I always, always, always send a gift.  I was raised that it's the proper way to do it.  Weddings, showers, bar mitzvahs - you send a gift no matter what.  As an aside, every engagement party I've ever been to (with one exception when the bride was from California) has also been a big fancy party and a gift-giving event.  I'd never heard of engagement parties as a non-gift-giving event 'til TK.

    4. Definitely big showers, and all at restaurant venues, all with full meals & drinks.  My sister's was 61 people (we'd invited 75) at a great restaurant, brunch with champagne.  When I walked in I actually chuckled at the little teeny gift table they allotted us because the gifts ended up piled on the table, under the table, all along that wall, and down the aisle between the tables.  It was pretty funny.  My bridesmaids & mom were awesome to host 40 people for me at a really fancy restaurant - brunch & champagne again.

    5. As far as I know, every single shower I"ve been to (bridal & baby) has been a surprise unless someone accidentally slipped.  I always assume showers are a surprise and don't mention them to the guest of honor.  The key to a successful surprise shower is making the guest think she's going to an event that requires a nice outfit.  For my sister, her wedding was in July of 2003 & the shower was in May.  We have 4 events already in May - her bday, Mother's day, our parents' anniversary, and our mom's bday.  So we told  her we were going out for a fancy brunch for one of those events (I forget which now, but not her bday) & she dressed for that.  For mine, they had to be more clever.  My sister (MOH) is a veterinarian.  So she called and told me that some vet group (I forget the acronym) was having a fundraising tricky tray at the restaurant and that she was paying for the whole family to go (mom & dad, me & my then-FI, her & her H).  She even made a fake flyer for the event & emailed it to me.  I knew the restaurant & that it was higher end, so I wasn't about to wear sweats, but then my mom also called me and mentioned that my sister's boss would be there & asked me to please dress up & not come in jeans.  Fine with me.  So when I showed up, my BIL had made a poster for the event, directing guests upstairs to loft area of the restaurant that my bridesmaids & mom had acquired for the shower, and I was in nice clothes, ready to have fancy brunch & a tricky tray with my family & a bunch of veterinarians.
    japrincess24
  • I don't usually post in this area, but was poking around TK & found this question interesting.  I'm in northern NJ.

    1. My hosting experience has always been the bridesmaids & MOH all equally, often with help from the MOB.  The one exception was a wedding/shower in MA, when I was a BM & was pleasantly surprised at the MOB telling us not to worry about it, that she was taking care of the whole shower because she knew we were all OOT and/or grad students & broke.  I really appreciated that, since I'd assumed I'd have to shell out for it.

    2. I've only ever known of one shower per wedding.  I suppose others could have been thrown to which I wasn't invited, but I've only ever known of one per.  I always throught the multiple shower thing I see on TK is a little weird, but that's because showers I've been to have been big & included everyone.

    3.  I always, always, always send a gift.  I was raised that it's the proper way to do it.  Weddings, showers, bar mitzvahs - you send a gift no matter what.  As an aside, every engagement party I've ever been to (with one exception when the bride was from California) has also been a big fancy party and a gift-giving event.  I'd never heard of engagement parties as a non-gift-giving event 'til TK.

    4. Definitely big showers, and all at restaurant venues, all with full meals & drinks.  My sister's was 61 people (we'd invited 75) at a great restaurant, brunch with champagne.  When I walked in I actually chuckled at the little teeny gift table they allotted us because the gifts ended up piled on the table, under the table, all along that wall, and down the aisle between the tables.  It was pretty funny.  My bridesmaids & mom were awesome to host 40 people for me at a really fancy restaurant - brunch & champagne again.

    5. As far as I know, every single shower I"ve been to (bridal & baby) has been a surprise unless someone accidentally slipped.  I always assume showers are a surprise and don't mention them to the guest of honor.  The key to a successful surprise shower is making the guest think she's going to an event that requires a nice outfit.  For my sister, her wedding was in July of 2003 & the shower was in May.  We have 4 events already in May - her bday, Mother's day, our parents' anniversary, and our mom's bday.  So we told  her we were going out for a fancy brunch for one of those events (I forget which now, but not her bday) & she dressed for that.  For mine, they had to be more clever.  My sister (MOH) is a veterinarian.  So she called and told me that some vet group (I forget the acronym) was having a fundraising tricky tray at the restaurant and that she was paying for the whole family to go (mom & dad, me & my then-FI, her & her H).  She even made a fake flyer for the event & emailed it to me.  I knew the restaurant & that it was higher end, so I wasn't about to wear sweats, but then my mom also called me and mentioned that my sister's boss would be there & asked me to please dress up & not come in jeans.  Fine with me.  So when I showed up, my BIL had made a poster for the event, directing guests upstairs to loft area of the restaurant that my bridesmaids & mom had acquired for the shower, and I was in nice clothes, ready to have fancy brunch & a tricky tray with my family & a bunch of veterinarians.
    You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. ~Mae West
    japrincess24
  • Oh, and I'm all for the surprise showers.  I was really angry at one point when I thought a friend's girlfriend had blown my surprise by mentioning it to me (turns out she screwed up blowing it anyway).  I wouldn't been really upset if anyone had blown the surprise, but I love surprises.
    You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. ~Mae West
  • I'm originally from CT (born and raised and had our wedding there) but live in FL now and I haven't seen any differences in showers here or back in CT.

    1. Out of the showers that you gals have been to, who has hosted the shower? 
    ~ All the showers I've been to are hosted by the mother of the bride sometimes with help from the MOH and/or the BM's. The one shower I went to that was 100% hosted by the MOH it was because the bride was estranged from her mother.

    2. Have you known people to have multiple showers? 

    ~ The only time I've seen multiple showers is if the bride has one thrown for her at work or church.

    3.  If you're invited to a shower or wedding and cannot attend, do you give a gift?

    ~ Yes, I always send a gift even if I can't make it.

    4. How large was the shower and where do they usually occur? 

    ~ My shower was probably about 50 people and was held at a country club. I've seen them everywhere from restaurants, to wedding venues, to people's homes.

    5. How many surprise showers have you been to? 

    ~ I've only been to 1 and the bride figured it out beforehand and faked her surprise.
  • LDubHawksFanLDubHawksFan member
    1000 Comments 100 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    edited January 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_showers-and-regional-customs?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:7ef22006-60fa-4f0a-9883-17f8cf4c0d38Post:68a8eb52-4e8f-47d4-ade7-8014d8ebbd3a">Showers and Regional customs</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi ladies, I posted this on a previous thread and started thinking that I was curious enough about the answers to start a separate thread.  From reading the boards, it sounds like lots of ladies from different parts of the country than I'm from do showers differently than I'm accustomed to.  I'm curious if you all can let me know what is common in your area to see if it's a regional thing.  PS - I'm from CT.  <strong>I'm from IA, live in CA</strong>
    1. Out of the showers that you gals have been to, who has hosted the shower?  In my experiences it's always been a relative of the bride (usually the mom, but sometimes a sister or Aunt). <strong>I've usually seen the MOB/MOG or BMs </strong>
    2. Have you known people to have multiple showers?  I've only seen brides get one (hosted by the above) and usually it's only her side who attends with the exception of the MOG and his immediate family.  Another exception is when there is a divorce, then 2 showers can often occur (one hosted by mom and one hosted by stepmom). <strong>Yes, I had two.  My whole family & BMs were back in IA, so my BMs held one for me there.  MIL wanted to hold one in CA for her side.</strong>
    3.  If you're invited to a shower or wedding and cannot attend, do you give a gift?  I would always give a gift and feel compeled to give a gift regardless of attendance in both situations.  I would personally feel rude if I didn't.  <strong>It depends how close I am to the person.  Family or close friend, yes.</strong>
    4. How large was the shower and where do they usually occur?  Most of the ones I've been to have been 30+ and are usually at a restaurant with a full meal and wine provided.<strong> I've never been to a shower with more than 30 ppl.</strong> <strong>Usually they are at a house or church and have snacks and cake.</strong>
    5. How many surprise showers have you been to?  My mom seems to think that EVERYONE has a surprise shower (because her's was 35 years ago).  I don't think they're very common anymore.<strong> I've never even heard of a surprise shower!</strong>
    Posted by Jager1219[/QUOTE]

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