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Two weddings... a week apart?

haychardhaychard member
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
My FI and I are in the early stages of planning our wedding.  We live on the west coast with his mom, and the rest of our families live in the east where we plan to have our wedding.  We talked about having a wedding in August 2014, and his sister who has been engaged for a year decided to pick the exact same month and year (after we decided this btw).  FSIL feels that we should get married really close together so it would be easier for us because we would only have to fly out once.  I think she's a bit crazy because it might be a little too much to deal with having them so close together. 

I read some other posts about siblings have them a couple months apart and that doesn't seem too bad, but two weddings possibly a week apart? Does this seem a bit too much to handle? and possibly too much to ask of their family who would be invited to both?  Any advice would be nice. 
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Re: Two weddings... a week apart?

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    lauralaurlauralaur member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2012
    It sounds like travel would really only be an issue for your FMIL, you and your fi. It can get expensive for guests otherwise though: gifts, hotel room if they wish, babysitter potentially, etc. But the big issue I would see is honeymoon, if you would be getting married first, would you want to be on your honeymoon when she would be planning to get married or vice versa? I don't know your situation, but I wouldn't have enough vacation time to go to the east coast for a week and then go on my honeymoon.

    How close are you to FSIL? Would your fi feel comfortable talking to her about this? In the end I suppose if your date is set and she feels the need to get married a week before or later, I'm not sure what you could do.
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    SJM7538SJM7538 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment

    Okay so this sounds like you are both planning on having your weddings on the east coast and she thinks it is a good idea to have them this close together so you can have your wedding....wait a week and have hers because you will be already there? Am I getting this right?

    Assuming you or your FSIL are going on honeymoons...don't you think whoever is getting married first would be on their honeymoon a week after their wedding?

    While I don't think you can control her date because you only get one day...her reasoning seems a bit off.

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    haychardhaychard member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_two-weddings-a-week-apart?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d4532019-1dfe-4a30-9025-9b1826f53208Post:ea2922fe-d8cd-48ff-a02e-66966e67a77b">Re: Two weddings... a week apart?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Okay so this sounds like you are both planning on having your weddings on the east coast and she thinks it is a good idea to have them this close together so you can have your wedding....wait a week and have hers because you will be already there? Am I getting this right? Assuming you or your FSIL are going on honeymoons...don't you think whoever is getting married first would be on their honeymoon a week after their wedding? While I don't think you can control her date because you only get one day...her reasoning seems a bit off.
    Posted by SJM7538[/QUOTE]


    You got it right.  My FI does want to go on a honeymoon within a day after our wedding and I have mentioned this problem to him.  But we are worried if we wait until summer 2015 she might decide to do the same thing...how in the world do we do address this? 
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    SJM7538SJM7538 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_two-weddings-a-week-apart?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d4532019-1dfe-4a30-9025-9b1826f53208Post:0224b11c-5adc-46d1-9aea-a7a15cdac419">Re: Two weddings... a week apart?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Two weddings... a week apart? : You got it right.  My FI does want to go on a honeymoon within a day after our wedding and I have mentioned this problem to him.  But we are worried if we wait until summer 2015 she might decide to do the same thing...how in the world do we do address this? 
    Posted by haychard[/QUOTE]

    If the weddings are three weeks to a month apart I think you will be fine. It may be a hectic month but its doable.

    Honestly, if you're close with her I would just have an honest conversation with her. 

    Are you in each others wedding parties?  Tell her you think it would be too stressful to have to worry about being in her wedding while trying to get all of the last minute details done for your wedding at the same time. And vice versa. I would also bring up the honeymoon thing...let her know if she really wants her wedding within a week or two of yours she is running the risk of you and him not attending. You may still be away or can't take additional time off of work - those could be factors.

    If your are not close with her then I would try to let your fiance handle it. In the end you can't control the date she chooses but plan the wedding you want when you want.

    Are their parent's contributing at all... if so you may want to bring them into the conversation. My parents are limited as to what they can provide me because my sister and I are getting married a year apart - nevermind a week or two!
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    JoanE2012JoanE2012 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_two-weddings-a-week-apart?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d4532019-1dfe-4a30-9025-9b1826f53208Post:2002ca4f-601b-4d7a-88f2-232f999b9dc6">Two weddings... a week apart?</a>:
    [QUOTE]My FI and I are in the early stages of planning our wedding.  We live on the west coast with his mom, and the rest of our families live in the east where we plan to have our wedding.  We talked about having a wedding in August 2014, and his sister who has been engaged for a year decided to pick the exact same month and year (after we decided this btw). <strong> FSIL feels that we should get married really close together so it would be easier for us because we would only have to fly out once</strong>.  I think she's a bit crazy because it might be a little too much to deal with having them so close together.  I read some other posts about siblings have them a couple months apart and that doesn't seem too bad, but two weddings possibly a week apart? Does this seem a bit too much to handle? and possibly too much to ask of their family who would be invited to both?  Any advice would be nice. 
    Posted by haychard[/QUOTE]

    Tell her not to worry about you flying out twice......that it would actually be EASIER if the weddings were further apart so each could focus on their own wedding.
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    misssunshine17misssunshine17 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    Let her book her venue, then you start planning after she's locked in. Honestly, call me selfish, but no way would I do that. I also think two weekends in a row makes it harder on the local family. 
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    VJones1981VJones1981 member
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    I agree that her reasoning may be off, but maybe her heart is in the right place. I say that based on you saying she wants it to be easier on everyone. That being said, I think having the weddings so close together would actually make it more difficult for everyone. A very good friend of mine set her date for 2 weeks before us, and it has caused a lot of stress. FI may not even be able to attend because he can only take so much time off of work, and he needs the time he has for our wedding and honeymoon. I am in the same situation, but will have to take a day off unpaid, since I am in the wedding. I also worry if she will be back from her honeymoon in time to be there for our wedding, not to mention the expense of hosting a wedding and being in one so close together.
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    lovesclimbinglovesclimbing member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    I had two cousins who got married four days apart: one got married on July 4th and the other on the Saturday before that. In their case, it made it easier financially for the families. The whole reason for doing that was so the numerous aunts and uncles a couple thousand miles away would not have to fly up twice in the same summer. I can definitely see that being a good reason for close weddings. The honeymoon thing is definitely something to bring up with her though. In my cousin's case, the couple who got married on the Saturday were on their honeymoon and did not attend the wedding on the 4th.
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