Ugh...Seriously?

pokepoke27 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_ughseriously?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:3e01fe05-4261-43f4-8c55-1a5f6d5a5db8Post:46d748c8-0542-479a-9b9c-239019d0fe4e">Re:Ugh...Seriously?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Ugh...Seriously? : It would all make sense if I could get a yes/no answer. I asked a simple question: Would it be alright to ask the guys to make sure they are "cleaned up". Not shaved, just trimmed and neat looking. The answer should have been yes, you can or no, you can't <strong>What I didn't need is to be told that I am a asshole, micromanaging, superficial, have my priorities wrong, shallow, materialistic, judgy, etc...</strong>
Posted by mbuckley85[/QUOTE]

<div>Oh but you do, that's the thing.</div>

pokepoke27 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_ughseriously?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:3e01fe05-4261-43f4-8c55-1a5f6d5a5db8Post:ebb14075-62c7-40b5-aff1-9402d13cd5d1">Re: Ugh...Seriously?</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh jesus! How did I know that some of you were going to migrate over here? I get giving advice to people when it's asked for, but no one asked to be put down the way that most of the members that frequent the e-board do. Someone mentioned that because of the posts by mbuckley, she came across as materialistic and shallow. Well, most of you seem like bitches with nothing better to do because you consistently (as shown in the number of posts some of you have) reply to posts in a bitchy way. In Response to Re: Facial Hair... : In Response to Re: Facial Hair... : In Response to Re: Facial Hair... : In Response to Re:Facial Hair... :
Posted by ystaalenburg[/QUOTE]

<div>But had she not asked a question that implied she cares more about how her photos look than about the feelings of her GM there wouldn't have been negative responses. </div>

fjw2012 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_ughseriously?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:3e01fe05-4261-43f4-8c55-1a5f6d5a5db8Post:bad1eb0f-d237-4d16-97a2-869596e20250">Re: Ugh...Seriously?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ugh...Seriously? : Clearly.
Posted by pokepoke27[/QUOTE]

<div>Glad we agree?</div>

AllieHysh19 · July 2012

Different piece of advice????? why not book a "spa" appointment for your FI. He can call and ask if the GM wants to come with.... make it seem more like spending time together than offensive, trim your beard! But yeah... snarky comments are never fun.

mrshall1027 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_ughseriously?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:3e01fe05-4261-43f4-8c55-1a5f6d5a5db8Post:394ccc26-31b5-4cec-afb1-a99dd48b2630">Re: Ugh...Seriously?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ugh...Seriously? : But had she not asked a question that implied she cares more about how her photos look than about the feelings of her GM there wouldn't have been negative responses.
Posted by pokepoke27[/QUOTE]

<div>I agree that she should have worded her question differently, but there really still isn't a NEED to be as rude as some of you have been. I've gone over to the e-board from time to time, and this isn't the first time that a lof of the frequent members on that board have pulled together to tell someone how horrible or stupid or loony or idiotic or insane or whatever other degrading word you want to use is. The types of responses are uncalled for.</div><div>
</div><div>You want to point out what is implied? It's implied that a lot of the people on the e-board are rude, don't have anything better to do with their time, and they truely get enjoyment out of putting other people down.</div>

fjw2012 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_ughseriously?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:3e01fe05-4261-43f4-8c55-1a5f6d5a5db8Post:394ccc26-31b5-4cec-afb1-a99dd48b2630">Re: Ugh...Seriously?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ugh...Seriously? : But had she not asked a question that implied she cares more about how her photos look than about the feelings of her GM there wouldn't have been negative responses.
Posted by pokepoke27[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>That's not your problem though. If you are there to offer etiquette advice, a simple no that would not be appropriate would suffice. You are not there to tell her how awful of a person you think she is. Answer the question, respectfully, and leave it at that. Why is that so hard? You'd think that people who consider themselves experts on etiquette would know how inappropriate what you all are doing is.</div>

midgetthemighty · July 2012

If random internet strangers can't tell you the truth about how something you're saying/doing comes across negatively, who can? Speaking from experience, they aren't just bluntly honest with non-regs.

Sometimes the truth hurts. Sometimes the written word is misinterpreted. Only you can know which one that is. Either you are that concerned with other people's outward appearance and you need to work on that or you aren't and we've all misinterpreted your many posts that make it sound like you are.

Personally, I'm inclined to believe that you need to work on caring so much about your friends and family member's outward appearances and focus on why they're your friend. For what's inside. As I said before though, I'm not you so I can't know that.

mbuckley85 · July 2012

Hey, they could have said "No, that's bad etiquette" and left it at that.

I'm not a bad person, I swear. If any of you met me on the street, you wouldn't know me from the next person. I promise I'm not blatantly rude or anything.

Etiquette is very difficult though. I know a lot, but sometimes people will say one thing is okay, while some people will say absolutely not. There are a lot of grey areas and really, I think that asking someone to trim, not shave, their facial hair could potentially be one of them.

mbuckley85 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_ughseriously?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:3e01fe05-4261-43f4-8c55-1a5f6d5a5db8Post:db1703bb-b4ac-4eb5-a903-553319c03a90">Re: Ugh...Seriously?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ugh...Seriously? : But don't you want to understand the reasoning behind why something is bad etiquette? Or do you really prefer to be spoon fed advice so that your feelings don't get hurt? ETA: And Mbuckley, you've posted well enough on the E board to understand that you will get blunt (or in your opinion rude) responses when we see something in a post that we disagree with. You running away and tattling is not going to change that. And just like you said about not really knowing you, if you took the time to get to know the posters on E, you'd realize we're not all assholes and biiitches like you make us out to be. ::steps off soapbox::
Posted by rachers1017[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Spoonfeed away...</div><div>
</div><div>I don't need an explanation. Just a simple, yes or no. </div><div>
</div><div>And yes, a lot of those answer were rude, not blunt.

</div>

fjw2012 · July 2012

You all keep defending yourselves by saying you're not rude, you're blunt, but there is a difference between bluntly honest, and down right rude, and it is clear that some of you do not know the difference. Comments that begin with "FFS" and "JesusFuckingChrist" do not fall under the catagory of blunt, they're just plain rude.

mbuckley85 · July 2012

I just realized what FFS stands for...

Ali092011 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_ughseriously?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:3e01fe05-4261-43f4-8c55-1a5f6d5a5db8Post:9191691a-9d33-462a-ac82-487158f3d040">Re: Ugh...Seriously?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Hey, they could have said "No, that's bad etiquette" and left it at that. </strong> I'm not a bad person, I swear. If any of you met me on the street, you wouldn't know me from the next person. I promise I'm not blatantly rude or anything. Etiquette is very difficult though. I know a lot, but sometimes people will say one thing is okay, while some people will say absolutely not. There are a lot of grey areas and really,<strong> I think that asking someone to trim, not shave, their facial hair could potentially be one of them.</strong>
Posted by mbuckley85[/QUOTE]

I just don't think that situation warranted a response like that. When people ask, "Is it okay to send one invitation to a whole family when a 21 year old lives in the house?" people will say, "No, that's bad etiquette." Even the most etiquette-minded person will realize that some people simply don't know how to address invitations.

In your case, though, your question did not fall under the category of "doesn't know better." You are seriously going to say that you thought it was a "gray area" of etiquette? Would you ask your GM to trim his beard under any other circumstances? Why would it be okay to dictate how he grooms himself (lol) for your wedding? I think people's responses were less out of any desire to be rude and more out of genuine disbelief that you thought it would be okay to do this. Just my observation.

musicalsunlight · July 2012

In Response to Re:Ugh...Seriously?:[QUOTE]My sister thought it would be a good idea to come to your defense because she thought why else would you post this unless you where looking for people to help you i quickly corrected her and told her to take it down now i have to deal with this at work and im not even supposed to be on here signing off til later before i get in trouble Posted by shoebie420[/QUOTE]

Have you ever heard of punctuation? It is your friend.

lv2011 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_ughseriously?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:3e01fe05-4261-43f4-8c55-1a5f6d5a5db8Post:151367ad-65bb-4839-8fc6-4e4fc2c7c9e3">Re:Ugh...Seriously?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Ugh...Seriously?: Have you ever heard of punctuation? It is your friend.
Posted by musicalsunlight[/QUOTE]

See?!?!? THAT crap. Right there. Totally unnecessary. To anyone. Irregardless of board, thread, or question, that attitude is NOT welcome here.

Ali092011 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_ughseriously?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:3e01fe05-4261-43f4-8c55-1a5f6d5a5db8Post:fba7ab3d-26b7-4250-9be9-64c130fa0ebe">Re:Ugh...Seriously?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Ugh...Seriously? : See?!?!? THAT crap. Right there. Totally unnecessary. To anyone. Irregardless of board, thread, or question, that attitude is NOT welcome here.
Posted by lv2011[/QUOTE]

It really is just common courtesy to make your posts legible to others, though.

musicalsunlight · July 2012

In Response to Re:Ugh...Seriously?:[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Ugh...Seriously?:In Response to Re:Ugh...Seriously?: Have you ever heard of punctuation? It is your friend.Posted by musicalsunlightSee?!?!? THAT crap. Right there. Totally unnecessary. To anyone. Irregardless of board, thread, or question, that attitude is NOT welcome here. Posted by lv2011[/QUOTE]

Well good to know that you are the Internet police.

SyAmaya · July 2012

Lol, I thought it was just me that was horrified by the etiquette board. Some people can be so mean.

Ugh...Seriously?

Re: Ugh...Seriously?

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