No wedding party

lilpbc · February 2013

The FI and I are planning a destination wedding without a wedding party. This means no MOH, bridesmaid, flower girl, ring bearer, groomsmen or best man. Since it's a destination wedding we didn't want to burden anyone with $$ since it's out of country.

Now the other day the FI and I were talking about showers and bachelorette and he brought up that I should host my OWN. I told him NO that is awkward and no bride should host her own. Also I stated I don't have any BM so I shouldn't expect a shower/bachelorette party.

Has anyone had a wedding with no wedding party? If so was there a bridal shower and bach party? I'm just curious. I'm not expecting one but would like thoughts.

Thanks.

AddieCake · February 2013

If someone offers to throw them, that's fine, but anybody invited to them must also be invited to the wedding.

bunni727 · February 2013

Is anyone invited to your wedding, or is it a private destination wedding? Everyone invited to showers/bach parties have to be invited to the wedding, so if you don't have guests the point is really moot.

If you do have guests to invite, anyone can offer to host a party for you, they don't have to be a BM. My mom, grandma and other family members hosted mine.

If no one offers, you could always plan an outing with your friends that isn't wedding related, just for fun.

zitiqueen · February 2013

I had a destination wedding with no wedding party. My SILs threw me a very tiny shower. I think we had nine people total (they were all invited to the wedding as well).

ETA - we didn't have an official bachelorette party. The wedding was in Las Vegas and the majority of the guests were Vegas virgins, so I sent all the women who were attending an email a week or so before that said "I'm going to be at XYZ Spa on whatever day at whatever time if you'd like to join me, here's a link to what they offer." We all got together for dinner later that night and then the younger ladies went out drinking.

misssunshine17 · February 2013

You can still have pre-wedding parties if someone else offers to throw them, but only people invited to the wedding should be invited.

beardownbchs · February 2013

I read some of your other posts, and if you will already be legally married at this destination "wedding" then is very inappropriate for you to have a shower. You can ONLY have a shower BEFORE you are LEGALLY married and only if someone offers to throw it for you and, as others have said, everyone invited to the shower must also be invited to the weddng.

lilpbc · February 2013

I know the rule about inviting the guests to the shower and wedding. That's a no brainer there. As for the DW I will have family and friends attending so I'm thinking of maybe just a girls night out before the wedding day. As I stated I'm not expecting anyone to throw one but was curious how everyone did theirs. Thanks.

Btw- Beardown, Hold your horses. I never stated I will be "legally" married during the traditional wedding. I will be "culturally" married and will have the destination wedding as my legal marriage. It's something you wont understand so I don't need to justify it.

Maggie0829 · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_no-wedding-party-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:9a14e6bc-ce0d-4f12-b483-7babfcc92ab8Post:cfa37d8a-9f3b-4887-adeb-266f6aed0969">Re: No wedding party</a>:
[QUOTE]I know the rule about inviting the guests to the shower and wedding. That's a no brainer there. As for the DW I will have family and friends attending so I'm thinking of maybe just a girls night out before the wedding day. As I stated I'm not expecting anyone to throw one but was curious how everyone did theirs. Thanks. Btw- Beardown, Hold your horses. I never stated I will be "legally" married during the traditional wedding.<strong> I will be "culturally" married and will have the destination wedding as my legal marriage. It's something you wont understand so I don't need to justify it.
</strong>Posted by lilpbc[/QUOTE]

How can we give you advice if you won't be bothered to explain what "culturally" married means?

s-aries8990 · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_no-wedding-party-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:9a14e6bc-ce0d-4f12-b483-7babfcc92ab8Post:cfa37d8a-9f3b-4887-adeb-266f6aed0969">Re: No wedding party</a>:
[QUOTE]I know the rule about inviting the guests to the shower and wedding. That's a no brainer there. As for the DW I will have family and friends attending so I'm thinking of maybe just a girls night out before the wedding day. As I stated I'm not expecting anyone to throw one but was curious how everyone did theirs. Thanks. Btw- Beardown, Hold your horses. I never stated I will be "legally" married during the traditional wedding. I<strong> will be "culturally" married and will have the destination wedding as my legal marriage. It's something you wont understand so I don't need to justify it.</strong>
Posted by lilpbc[/QUOTE]

Justify, idc about, but please explain...

winelover123 · February 2013

I'm actually quite curious - I'm not asking for any justification, but what do you mean by culturally married?

ROBINRENE5 · February 2013

I do not have a WP and am also having a DW. We are having quite a few people attend out DW, which is awesome!

With that said, my FMIL is planning a "couples shower" for FI and I, which she really wanted to do. And one of my girl friends is planning B-Party a few weeks ahead for all of the girls coming to DW. I am lucky to have such awesome people in my life, and realize they are going out of their way to do these things for me when they don't have to!

If someone offers these things, go for it! I wouldn't plan it for myself though. Neither was really a big deal to me - but i appreciate the effort going in!

miranda holly · February 2013

I would be careful is you are using your DW as your "legal wedding". From what I can understand on both threads; you are using your wedding ceremony at the parent's house, to show you are "culturally" joined, but not legal. So no licence or JOP or Officiant?

I don't remember you listing a location for your DW. Some countries require different things to married if you're not from there. Like blood work, notices in the paper, or going to the court house to exchange vows before a JOP, then having a beach ceremony. You may find you never actually get married legally. Or you have 2 PPD's before you are legally even married!

Kristin789 · February 2013

To answer your question directly:

Yes, we had a wedding with no attendants.
No, there were no pre-wedding parties like shower, bach party, etc.

princess pop · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_no-wedding-party-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:9a14e6bc-ce0d-4f12-b483-7babfcc92ab8Post:cfa37d8a-9f3b-4887-adeb-266f6aed0969">Re: No wedding party</a>:
[QUOTE]I know the rule about inviting the guests to the shower and wedding. That's a no brainer there. As for the DW I will have family and friends attending so I'm thinking of maybe just a girls night out before the wedding day. As I stated I'm not expecting anyone to throw one but was curious how everyone did theirs. Thanks. Btw- Beardown, Hold your horses. I never stated I will be "legally" married during the traditional wedding. I will be "culturally" married and will have the destination wedding as my legal marriage. It's something you wont understand so I don't need to justify it.
Posted by lilpbc[/QUOTE]

Whoa condescending.

jrwisniewski · February 2013

I am not having a wedding party (other then my young cousin and nieces and nephews). My mom is throwing my shower and if I have a bach. party, I will be throwing it. Nothing huge just a night out with the girls, possibly at a comedy club.

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