More health bill talk... sorry

kikibaby · April 2010

But this is interesting/frustrating: http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/03/31/abstinence.education/index.html?hpt=C2

Basically, a clause in the health bill gives $50 million to abstinence-only based education. It must be taught that abstinence is the only way to prevent STD's and pregnancy. Teens must also be taught that sex should wait until after marriage or it could have 'harmful psychological effects'.

I actually support the bill, but this particular item is aggravating. Wake up people, kids ARE going to have sex. But, if you're only teaching abstinence, you're not teaching them how to protect themselves. Expecting kids to abstain in this day and age is totally unrealistic.

FutureMrsTR · April 2010

Absitnence is the only 100% sure way to prevent STDs and/or pregnancy, but it's not the ONLY way. And it could have harmful psychological effects if they start really young and I guess kids should hear that (not that they'll listen), but it certainly shouldn't be the only thing they're taught.

Mrs.B6302007 · April 2010

Agree. Yes, abstinence is the only fool-proof preventative but kids aren't going to go that route. I don't understand why the education system feels that everything is their responsibility to teach.

Stackeye210 · April 2010

I would tend to agree with you, that is until I think about Jocelyn........Absitnence until she's 53 (married or not) is what I'm teaching her!

shaydenise · April 2010

Yeah, I agree it is the one 100% sure fire way to prevent STDs and pregnancy but I do not believe it should be taught that is is the only preventative method.

pumpkinpumpkin · April 2010

I agree that sex ed needs to be more than just abstinence.

HOWEVER. Abstinence IS the ONLY way to completely prevent STDs and pregnancy. So this part of it:
It must be taught that abstinence is the only way to prevent STD's and pregnancy.
I agree with.

andyandhillary · April 2010

This is part of the problem with huge bills. We don't hear about these things until they are already passed. With all of the deals being made there's going to be stuff that makes everyone mad. Unfortunately, when we give the government the power to do whatever it wants it's going to do things like this.

kikibaby · April 2010

I also agree that it's the only 100% sure way to prevent STD's and pregnancy. But kids need to be taught that there are ways to protect yourself from these things if you DO decide to have sex.

As lovethebeach said, the more you tell teens they can't do something, the more curious they are about it. My parents never told me I couldn't have sex, drink, etc, and... I was a good kid who didn't have sex until I was an adult and didn't drink until well into college.

Stackeye210 · April 2010

Playing Devil's advocate though. One would argue that teaching a kid about alternate birth control and STD preventative measures is only giving them the "OK" that sex is safe and ok to have. Which honestly, is it the job of teachers to educate our children that sex "can be ok"?

Shouldn't it be the parents responsibility to teach the child the safe methods of having sex if they the parents think it's appropriate?

Mrs.B6302007 · April 2010

Stackeye and Bee :eye to eye:

betrothed123 · April 2010

If more parents were willing to teach their kids about this stuff at home and not rely on the school system to do it for them this wouldn't be a problem. If parents have issues with their child getting abstinence only education in school, they need to take it upon themselves to sit the child down at home and explain to them other methods of preventing STDs and pregnancy.

andyandhillary · April 2010

My school literally never even touched the subject so I'm not sure what is being taught but I think both "schools of thought" need to be taught. Kids need to know that abstinence really is the best way. Especially when it only takes one oops to have something less than desired occur.

Stackeye210 · April 2010

All I know is I take responsibility for my daughter..........so no amount of anything the school teaches her is going to make me comfortable that she has all the facts to make an informed decision. I think parents (not all, but a pretty large chunk of them) depend too much on other people raising their kids for them.

Mrs.B6302007 · April 2010

Betrothed and Bee :eye to eye:

Stackeye210 · April 2010

LTB - I was posting as you wrote that. That's exactly how I feel.

Stackeye210 · April 2010

So what do you think spending some of the sex education money on educating parents on how to talk to their kids about the subject? Do you think that'd be a waste of money? Or that only the parents that actually cared would care enough to take a class like that?

bel138 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_health-bill-talk-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:28b8fe32-eb23-41e1-9365-5214709dcb74Post:d5f793b1-8892-494f-a116-8371a79ce5a2">Re: More health bill talk... sorry</a>:
[QUOTE]Shouldn't it be the parents responsibility to teach the child the safe methods of having sex if they the parents think it's appropriate?
Posted by Stackeye210[/QUOTE]

Then shouldn't the parents teach their kids their moral standing on sex althogether?

I think HEALTH should be taught in school. This is your body. This is what it does. This is how ovulation, fertilization, sperm production occur. These are STDs. These are things that can prevent them. OTHER bodily functions and systems to an extent. There should be absolutely no opinions, moral values, "promises" to remain abstinent. They should be taught the SCIENCE of their bodies.

Then, if you want to teach your kids about when YOU feel is an appropriate time to have sex, you can. You can teach them all you want about your moral stance on sex outside marriage, contraception use, etc.

aMrsin09 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_health-bill-talk-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:28b8fe32-eb23-41e1-9365-5214709dcb74Post:7198a796-7199-44fb-a0d7-a7eacd2b0cb9">Re: More health bill talk... sorry</a>:
[QUOTE] I think HEALTH should be taught in school. This is your body. This is what it does. This is how ovulation, fertilization, sperm production occur. These are STDs. These are things that can prevent them. OTHER bodily functions and systems to an extent. There should be absolutely no opinions, moral values, "promises" to remain abstinent. They should be taught the SCIENCE of their bodies.
Posted by bel138[/QUOTE]

This is pretty much what my "sex-ed" classes in the early 80s were like.

When did it change?

andyandhillary · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_health-bill-talk-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:28b8fe32-eb23-41e1-9365-5214709dcb74Post:a71e7bdf-915a-4518-ab34-4dae292d0e1e">Re: More health bill talk... sorry</a>:
[QUOTE]So what do you think spending some of the sex education money on educating parents on how to talk to their kids about the subject? Do you think that'd be a waste of money? Or that only the parents that actually cared would care enough to take a class like that?
Posted by Stackeye210[/QUOTE]

I unfortuantely think that only the parents who are apt to talk to their kids anyway would take those classes. A lot of people feel like "well my parents never talked to me about it and I turned out ok."

tracy_k · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_health-bill-talk-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:28b8fe32-eb23-41e1-9365-5214709dcb74Post:7198a796-7199-44fb-a0d7-a7eacd2b0cb9">Re: More health bill talk... sorry</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: More health bill talk... sorry : Then shouldn't the parents teach their kids their moral standing on sex althogether? I think HEALTH should be taught in school. This is your body. This is what it does. This is how ovulation, fertilization, sperm production occur. These are STDs. These are things that can prevent them. OTHER bodily functions and systems to an extent. There should be absolutely no opinions, moral values, "promises" to remain abstinent. They should be taught the SCIENCE of their bodies. Then, if you want to teach your kids about when YOU feel is an appropriate time to have sex, you can. You can teach them all you want about your moral stance on sex outside marriage, contraception use, etc.
Posted by bel138[/QUOTE]

Yes -- this.

*BeachBride0410* · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_health-bill-talk-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:28b8fe32-eb23-41e1-9365-5214709dcb74Post:7198a796-7199-44fb-a0d7-a7eacd2b0cb9">Re: More health bill talk... sorry</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: More health bill talk... sorry : Then shouldn't the parents teach their kids their moral standing on sex althogether? I think HEALTH should be taught in school. This is your body. This is what it does. This is how ovulation, fertilization, sperm production occur. These are STDs. These are things that can prevent them. OTHER bodily functions and systems to an extent. There should be absolutely no opinions, moral values, "promises" to remain abstinent. They should be taught the SCIENCE of their bodies. Then, if you want to teach your kids about when YOU feel is an appropriate time to have sex, you can. You can teach them all you want about your moral stance on sex outside marriage, contraception use, etc.
Posted by bel138[/QUOTE]

^This....I do not agree with abstinence....kids are going to have sex, as a parent you need to teach them safe sex and what that means. Of course you tell your kid you would like them to wait for that right person & marriage but the reality is they wont....I didn't so I am not going to be angry with my child if they don't. I want them to be ready if they decide to have sex.

andyandhillary · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_health-bill-talk-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:28b8fe32-eb23-41e1-9365-5214709dcb74Post:39a4ac74-a38e-4e47-abab-e7d6f9e7249e">Re: More health bill talk... sorry</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: More health bill talk... sorry : ^This....I do not agree with abstinence....kids are going to have sex, as a parent you need to teach them safe sex and what that means. Of course you tell your kid you would like them to wait for that right person & marriage but the reality is they wont....I didn't so I am not going to be angry with my child if they don't. I want them to be ready if they decide to have sex.
Posted by *BeachBride0410*[/QUOTE]

You don't agree with abstinence or abstinence only education? I know the majority of people don't wait until marriage or for a special person (whatever you are "waiting" for) but for some this is a really good thing. I'm actually from an area where a huge number of people don't have sex in high school and many wait until marriage. Different and rare? sure is. But it's not a bad thing necessarily.

sarabellam · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_health-bill-talk-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:28b8fe32-eb23-41e1-9365-5214709dcb74Post:40e41642-d972-4d6d-ba58-b433745e41b1">Re: More health bill talk... sorry</a>:
[QUOTE]Agree. Yes, abstinence is the only fool-proof preventative but kids aren't going to go that route. I don't understand why the education system feels that everything is their responsibility to teach.
Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]

I disagree, B. It's not that the education system thinks it's their responsibility. The parents think it is the responsibility of the education system.

kikibaby · April 2010

Bel- Agree with you 100%. This is what I was taught back in around 7th grade (in FL in the late 80's).

sarabellam · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_health-bill-talk-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:28b8fe32-eb23-41e1-9365-5214709dcb74Post:7f25a775-dbb9-413a-b87c-1fa59f000de3">Re: More health bill talk... sorry</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: More health bill talk... sorry : This is pretty much what my "sex-ed" classes in the early 80s were like. When did it change?
Posted by aMrsin09[/QUOTE]

When GWB came into power.

betrothed123 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_health-bill-talk-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:28b8fe32-eb23-41e1-9365-5214709dcb74Post:acd3e9e0-bf2a-456e-862c-fab20e4bfe29">Re: More health bill talk... sorry</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: More health bill talk... sorry : I disagree, B. It's not that the education system thinks it's their responsibility. The parents think it is the responsibility of the education system.
Posted by sarabellam[/QUOTE]
Exactly.

betrothed123 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_health-bill-talk-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:28b8fe32-eb23-41e1-9365-5214709dcb74Post:07706688-b5c5-49c1-aa8e-7abc8e817f76">Re: More health bill talk... sorry</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: More health bill talk... sorry : When GWB came into power.
Posted by sarabellam[/QUOTE]
This I disagree with, though. I was getting absitence only education before GWB came in to power. We had abstience only education when I was in 5th grade, and that was back in the mid 90s.

*BeachBride0410* · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_health-bill-talk-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:28b8fe32-eb23-41e1-9365-5214709dcb74Post:b2e3041d-550f-4900-81c9-8393c95cf437">Re: More health bill talk... sorry</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: More health bill talk... sorry : You don't agree with abstinence or abstinence only education? I know the majority of people don't wait until marriage or for a special person (whatever you are "waiting" for) but for some this is a really good thing. I'm actually from an area where a huge number of people don't have sex in high school and many wait until marriage. Different and rare? sure is. But it's not a bad thing necessarily.
Posted by andyandhillary[/QUOTE]

Abstinence only education, sorry! I think if you can wait till you find that love of your life or marriage its a great thing.....but yes it rare, and thinking your child will wait is not realistic. So I think they need to be taught Safe sex, but tell them you would like them to wait, your morals. But if they do not wait, I would want them to be ready. That is how my mom taught me...she told me she would like me to wait, but taught me how to be safe if I decided to engage in sexual relations.

I think the one important thing my mom drilled in my head was not to be afraid to come and talk to her......so many parents put fear in their childs head that IF they decided to have sex that it would be the end of the world or it would make them a bad person. I had friends who were terrified to go to their parents & tell them they were ready, or that they already had sex. A girl should not be afraid to go to her mother & ask to get put on birth control.

ac_in_dc · April 2010

I learned all about contraception at the age of 14 in school and it was incredibly useful. I didn't use the information at the time, but it was really instructive down the line, when I was ready to have sex.

I didn't get this info from my parents. I agree that parents *should* provide their kids with this information (unless they think contraception is morally wrong). But mine didn't, and if I hadn't had it in school I'm not sure I would have been armed with accurate information.

Maybe schools can offer both kinds of sex ed and let parents decide which to enroll their kids in.

aMrsin09 · April 2010

Sara, you're my age, did you have the "Puberty Fairy" video? Do they still even have the "puberty fairy"?

Stackeye210 · April 2010

Puberty Fairy? So I just had to You Tube that. Please tell me this isn't what you're talking about......? HILARIOUS

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhmm1HdJc4w&feature=PlayList&p=A2E363A85BFDB7E4&playnext_from=PL&playnext=1&index=3

More health bill talk... sorry

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