Any other "older" first time brides?

Girlie1030 · November 2010

Just wondering if there are any other older first time brides out here... I'll be 36 at the time of our wedding (he'll be 38, his first marriage as well) and I feel like we must be breaking some record or something. I have a friend that will be our DJ and he was asking yesterday if we'll be doing the bouquet or garter toss and I said "Um, no. We're the last of our friends to get married so that would leave only tweens and toddlers to catch them!".

[Deleted User] · November 2010

I'm a first time bride as well and also 36. My FI is 42. We're going to do the garter and bouquet - we not only have some younger friends and family (young 20's), but "older" guests who aren't married and they thought it would be fun to join in and try to catch the bouquet. I saw someone's great-grandma catch the bouquet once - it was all for fun.

Wrkn925 · November 2010

At my cousin's wedding they had all the married couples join them in a dance.
They asked people to sit down that had been married only a year, then five, then ten, etc until the longest married couple is left standing alone, and the bride gives the bouquet to them.
My grandparents got it, they'd been married 60 years.

CvilleClaire · November 2010

I have an aunt that got married in her 40s...her first marriage, his third. It was one of my favorite weddings.

I have to admit that there are times when I'm on The Knot and I feel very old...and I'm 33!

tldh · November 2010

I'm your age also. A big plus of waiting this long to get married is that we have what we want and not what the bridal industry tells us what we should have.

I remember Randy on Say Yes to the Dress talking about older brides. He said that we don't want the poufy princess dress that everyone else is wearing. The words that come to mind for women our age are elegant, classic and tasteful.

future-mrs · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_other-older-first-time-brides?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:cc585bf4-49cf-49e8-a742-c922103d45fePost:482781a0-b3ec-4b7b-bbff-2e64a2610d62">Re: Any other "older" first time brides?</a>:
[QUOTE]At my cousin's wedding they had all the married couples join them in a dance. They asked people to sit down that had been married only a year, then five, then ten, etc until the longest married couple is left standing alone, and the bride gives the bouquet to them. My grandparents got it, they'd been married 60 years.
Posted by Wrkn925[/QUOTE]

I love this. Seriously considering doing this instead of the same 'ole bouquet toss.

calindi · November 2010

Yeah, I've never been a fan of the bouquet toss regardless of age. It seems to make marriage into a competition or race, saying to your single friends, "I got married! Now all of you who are still single, go stand out there so everyone knows who you are and compete to catch my bouquet so you can also get married!" I'm just rather against that whole concept. Garter tosses are worse... no way do I want anyone going under my skirt in public!

Anyway, I've loved the idea of celebrating marriage rather than single-dom with the bouquet. At the wedding I went to, they called it a "Couple's Dance" and had all married couples get up on the dance floor, then started by saying, "If you've been married 2 hours, please leave the dance floor." (aka the bride and groom). "If you've been married 1 year.... 2 years.... 5 years.... 10 years.... 20 years..." and so until you only have 2-3 couples left, then go by year. The last couple standing gets a bottle of champagne (from the groom to the husband) and the bouquet (from the bride to the wife). So cute and sweet and a great way to honor commitment and life-long love!

Girlie1030 · November 2010

Thanks for all of the replies! I love this from tldh "The words that come to mind for women our age are elegant, classic and tasteful. ".

I also love the idea of the anniversary dance... However, between our two families, between deaths and divorces, I believe we only have one couple left that have even been married more than 12 years.

So did/will everyone go solo on the walk down the aisle? My dad passed away when I was 18 and though my "step-father" is a terrific guy, he's not my dad and I kind of feel at 36 I'm really nobody's to "give away" either.

denisentim0311 · November 2010

I wish I had waited to get married. Should have listened to my dad all of those years ago. Should have listened to my father when he said to me, "Why do you want him? He's all about himself. He don't want to be at home with you and the boys, he's too into his other activities." Well Dad was right. But if it wasn't for me moving down to Charlotte, NC with him when he got his trucking job, I would never have met my Fiance. (this was what he said to me about my 2nd husband)
We are so in love with each other and we fit perfectly together. This is my 3rd marriage and his 2nd. Our divorces were finalized on the same day and that's the day he proposed to me. We're both 43yrs old.
I hope that you and your fiance have a happy life together. I'm happy that all of you first time brides have waited to get married, because it makes it easier to say "yes" because you know what you want in life.
I wish ya'll the best in life and Congratulations on your engagement!!!!! Best Wishes and Goodluck with your wedding planning. You're going to have a blast doing it.

Denise

Girlie1030 · November 2010

Thanks Denise! I was engaged once before, a million years ago, and I thank my lucky stars it didn't work out the way I thought it would.

meganb1977 · November 2010

I'm 33 now and our wedding (first for both of us) will be the day after my 35th birthday, fiance will be just a few weeks shy of 38. Glad to know there are others in the same age range going into their first marriage. I feel like the last of our friends too or that I was setting some kind of record! I think pp had a brillant idea about doing a dance and giving the bouquet to whoever has been married longest, it sounds like something that might bring good karma for you to have a long marriage.

lilmisstex · November 2010

Hi. Im 33 and my fiance is 42 and I'm also a first time bride!

This isnt my first marriage though. My ex-husband and I eloped when I was barely 20 and he was 33. My ex-husband had been married once before and he and his ex-wife had a wedding so he didnt feel it was important to have another wedding even though I had never had one and it was important to me. At the time I was very young and naive and blinded by love and thought I could put my dreams aside (for him) and everything would be okay but as time went on I really felt cheated and came to realize how selfish and inconsiderate he was (the wedding issue was only the beginning) so needless to say the marriage only lasted 10 years. A relationship where one party gives and gives and the other party takes and takes and never gives back just does not work. I understand that a wedding does not make a marriage but being cheap, inconsiderate and selfish doesnt make one either.

When one door closes another opens though and Im now engaged to the most amazing man Ive ever met and Im so excited about planning a wedding and spending the rest of my life with such an amazing person! We just got engaged on 10/10/10 so we are in the very early stages of planning so I havent really thought about our reception so I cant say if we will have a bouquet and/or garter toss. The only thing I know for sure about my reception is that I will not be having a father/daughter dance since my father died when I was 18.

lilmisstex · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_other-older-first-time-brides?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:cc585bf4-49cf-49e8-a742-c922103d45fePost:56f7e556-1645-4eb5-961a-8381ee04525f">Re: Any other "older" first time brides?</a>:
[QUOTE] So did/will everyone go solo on the walk down the aisle? My dad passed away when I was 18 and though my "step-father" is a terrific guy, he's not my dad and I kind of feel at 36 I'm really nobody's to "give away" either.
Posted by Girlie1030[/QUOTE]

Like I said in my earlier post my father also died when I was 18 and Ill be walking solo down the aisle. I would like to acknowledge him at the ceremony though. Somebody posted on another site they lit a candle on the alter that stood alone and to the side in honor of their deceased parent and they explained the candle in the program that was handed out to guests. Its an idea that Im taking into consideration.

Girlie1030 · November 2010

LilMis, I'm having my dad's wedding band sewn into the inside of my gown right above my heart and I'm also carrying a letter (on blue paper no less!) written to me by his best friend after he died. It's funny that though I'm shunning a lot of wedding traditions because I feel I'm too old for them but I'd give anything, even at this age, to be "given away" by my dad.

JCBSJR, we're getting married on April 22, 2011. We're in Phoenix and that's about the tail end of when it starts getting too hot for outdoor ceremonies and receptions. I see you're from KC? We considered getting married out there at the golf course his dad manages, but logistically it was just too much. Would have been beautiful though...

Thank you all so much for replying! I'll surely be keeping up with the rest of you "geriatrics"! Granted, I'll probably steal hairstyles and gown ideas because not only am I old, but I'm clueless. Hope you all have a great week!

lilmisstex · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_other-older-first-time-brides?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:cc585bf4-49cf-49e8-a742-c922103d45fePost:351e247e-59d8-4d7f-bb95-df16f353a3b2">Re: Any other "older" first time brides?</a>:
[QUOTE]LilMis, I'm having my dad's wedding band sewn into the inside of my gown right above my heart and I'm also carrying a letter (on blue paper no less!) written to me by his best friend after he died. It's funny that though I'm shunning a lot of wedding traditions because I feel I'm too old for them but I'd give anything, even at this age, to be "given away" by my dad.
Posted by Girlie1030[/QUOTE]

Oh wow. Having your fathers wedding band sewn into the inside of your dress close to your heart is an excellent idea! Reading that just made me tear up. I may have to copy your idea since it's such a wonderful idea. =)

I'm right there with you. I would give anything to have my father here to give me away.

RoMy215 · November 2010

I'm with you ladies. First time marriage for both of us and I'm 38 .. he's 35. Glad I waited too...can't imagine how different things would have been if I was 25. I'm really trying not to be bothered with the small stuff or worry that we can't afford all the "bells & whistles" because I know that they really wont matter. I'm also so thankful that I am comfortable saying "NO" (to my family)!!
Not doing either garter toss or bouquet...I've been a guest at too many weddings where I felt uncomfortable being forced to participate in that.
So nice to see you other ladies here!

Girlie1030 · November 2010

Cheers to all of us "old ladies"! Now can someone recommend a great wrinkle cream?

AquarianDragon · November 2010

We're recently engaged and fall into the "older" first time category.... first engagement & wedding. I'm 33 and he's 34... we'll be 34 and 35 by the time wedding day comes around. Out of my old high school friends, I'm the oldest one to have "held out".

This year FI and me went to a number of weddings.... only one couple was in our immediate age range, lol!

Girlie1030, I'm originally from Tucson with the wedding to be had there.

Opus92 · November 2010

I'll be 31 and he'll be 30 by the time we get married. First time for both of us!

DanAll1228 · November 2010

Both my FI and I will be 31 when we get married on 9.10.11. I think it's better though. We've been through some ups and downs in the 13 years we've known each other, but now we are so much more wiser and understanding. I don't feel bad at all for getting married a little later. I'm excited!

Girlie1030 · November 2010

Has anyone else experienced strangers (vendors, specifically) being shocked to learn that it's your first wedding? I was taking a tour of one hotel for the reception and the sales (?) agent actually gasped when she learned that neither of us had been married before, at the age we are. By the number of posts on this thread, I can't believe we're really that much of an anomoly. In the minority, for sure, but I don't think uncommon enough to cause such a reaction.

impslave · November 2010

DH and I were both 42 when we got married earlier this year, and it was the first marriage for us both.

I didn't really run into any vendor shock, but maybe that's because we got married in Vegas and they see pretty much everything here. I think the only reaction we had regarding our age was from the travel agent we used to book our honeymoon.

leia1979 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_other-older-first-time-brides?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:cc585bf4-49cf-49e8-a742-c922103d45fePost:fcbc5ee3-d757-444e-9d3f-45b888514d71">Re: Any other "older" first time brides?</a>:
[QUOTE]Has anyone else experienced strangers (vendors, specifically) being shocked to learn that it's your first wedding? I was taking a tour of one hotel for the reception and the sales (?) agent actually gasped when she learned that neither of us had been married before, at the age we are. By the number of posts on this thread, I can't believe we're really that much of an anomoly. In the minority, for sure, but I don't think uncommon enough to cause such a reaction.
Posted by Girlie1030[/QUOTE]

I kind of got that last weekend trying on dresses. Some ladies who were sitting in the middle of the shop (I guess there with somone else trying on something), saw me come out and asked how old I was. I said 30. They thought I was in my early 20s. Then they asked "First wedding?" Yup.

Most of my friends started getting married around 27 and up, so I don't think it's odd at all.

cutielocks08 · December 2010

This is my first wedding. I'll be 40 and my fiance will be 35 when we get married.

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