Tuesday question

Resa77 · November 2012

What are your thoughts on decorating for Christmas/listening to Christmas music/baking Christmas cookies/etc before Christmas, during advent? How do you balance society's tendency to celebrate Christmas so early, with our Catholic observaation of advent?

This is more a topic of discussion more than a bullet-point survey. I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Calypso1977 · November 2012

im bad.

i usually turn on the outside lights and window candles thanksgiving night. the tree usually goes up the first weekend after thanksgiving.

the tree then comes down december 26 and the outdoor lights and window candles come down on new year's day.

Resa77 · November 2012

I decorate the weekend after Thanksgiving. I love Christmas decor, and I want to enjoy it to the max! I try to incorporate advent decor, which is switched out on Christmas Eve, though I'm really just starting my holiday decorations collection. Eventually I'd love to have a door wreath in purple and pink, to be replaced by a Christmas wreath; a purple table runner to be replaced by red, etc etc. I leave my decorations up until the epiphany.

I also start listening to Christmas music in November. I'm bad. I just love it SO SO SO much!!! I would listen to it all the time if that weren't considered weird. It's not in a way to skip advent, though....it prepares me for Christmas, in a way.

Riss91 · November 2012

We start usually in early December - we just pick a night/weekend that we have the time to decorate. I would like to have more of a tradition when/if we ever have children - officially decorating based on the start of Advent or using Saint Nicholas Day.

We keep our decorations up through the Epiphany.... we will take them down when we have free time to do so.

I love how our place looks all dressed up for Christmas, so I don't mind it "lingering". But, I am not into anything that is before Thanksgiving.

I also refuse to participate in Black Friday - to me it represents everything that is exploitative of what should be a "holy day".

MedStudent13 · November 2012

The weekend after Thanksgiving is when we typically decorate. The timing just seems to make sense since everyone has time off and there are lots of helping hands to decorate. It makes me so sad when people take down their Christmas decorations early! December 26 is still Christmas, and so is New years. Our decorations don't come down until after the epiphany

bibliophile2010 · November 2012

I really need to get a purple table runner, as my centerpiece is an Advent wreath. I also need a new wreath, generally. But I am getting ahead of myself.

We always decorate for Christmas in advance, to varying degrees. The last couple of years, it has been later in December, because it is when there is time. We haven't decided on when we''ll do it this year. We always keep decorations up through Epiphany. Exception: we might opt for a real tree this year. If we do, it has to go up late (better, I think) and come down early, as fresh trees are a major fire hazard around here.

I am incorporating more Advent into December this year. With the baby, I want some traditions to have always been there for C. Our old little artificial tree is getting turned into a Jesse Tree, and that will be the centerpiece of our family Christmas/Advent activities as the years go on. I loooooooove Advent, so it's fine by me.

This is what I plan to teach my children: Advent is a time for preparation: we prepare our hearts and minds by studying scripture and prayer (Jesse Tree and Advent wreath), we prepare our souls by going to confession, we prepare our homes through decoration, we prepare to celebrate by baking, wrapping, etc. We share the fact that we are waiting in Joyful Hope by sending cards and we anticipate Jesus' birth with music and song. It's not perfect, but it's the best I can do to reconcile the Truths of the Church with society's belief that Christmas begins the second Thanksgiving is over. As my kid(s) get older, I hope to hold off on some of the bigger activies until after Christmas to really emphasize the Christmas SEASON.

We're still really debating how much emphasis we are going to put on Santa in our home. The options are not at all, only a little, and a little more than a little. We plan to skip Elf on the Shelf, and ad nauseam trips to see Santa here, there and everywhere, and really focus on the Reason for the season. At the same time, I don't want to totally deny my kids that part of childhood. I also don't want to have that obnoxious kid in kindergarten. You know the one. We'll see what happens. We have another year or two to really decide.

jfellows82 · November 2012

Growing up we were always a day after Thanksgiving family. Now that we're married, H and I have decided that we really want to focus more on Advent and Christmas as distinct seasons and have our future children focused on preparing for Christ rather than celebrating Christmas as soon as Thanksgiving is over. I'm hoping that will help to make the season more about God and less about Santa and presents.

This year, we're going to put off getting a tree until the 22nd or 23rd. We'll decorate it after dinner before Midnight Mass and turn all the lights on for the first time when we get home from mass. I'm also going to try to hold off on Christmas carols for the most part until Christmas. I think this will be the hardest part since I LOVE Christmas carols. We'll see how it goes.

We always leave Christmas decorations up until Epiphany.

As an aside, the fact that stores are now opening on Thanksgiving Day makes me SO angry.

maggieandrey · November 2012

My family always waited to decorate until the weekend before Christmas. My favorite part of our decorations was the nativity. My parents set is from like the 70's, and it's just awesome. Our family always waited until Christmas Day to put Jesus in the manger, until then he was hidden. Whoever found Jesus on Christmas Day got to put him in the manger. I have no idea how that tradition started - it's almost like a christmas pickle hybrid. When I got older I also insisted on the wise men arriving in January. I was such a brat

I usually put a "holiday tree" up at my desk at work the weekend after Thanksgiving. It's silver tinsel, only 18 inches tall, and the decorations are starbucks coffee and cupcakes. But I'm going to be on vacation next week, and hopefully starting at a new location at work shortly thereafter so I may forgo it this year.

I love Christmas music, but will not start listening to it until the weekend before - like my parents' decorating. Side note - I'm pretty stoked that with my December 29 wedding, I had the option of Christmas music! So we're having "What Child is this?" for the presentation of the gifts. I wanted to leave the church singing the wassail song, like literally - me, the whole bridal party singing, but we decided that wasn't appropriate for the church. Maybe as we enter the reception. Yep, I'm crazy.

Also - I boycott black friday.

Resa77 · November 2012

Biblio, I think those are a lot of wonderful ideas for observing advent. I especially like the Jesse tree!

Maggie -- when I was a kid, we never put baby Jesus in the nativity until Christmas Eve, after Mass. The Wise Men didn't come out until the epiphany...or at least they'd be set off a bit, as thought travelling, and not make it to the stable until the Epiphany. Loved it!

professorscience · November 2012

Maggie, that sounds really cute!

We always got our decorations going pretty close to Thanksgiving, I think. Or whenever it was easiest to do so. Since I only have my husband around on the weekends (and five whole days this week thanks to Thanksgiving!), I'll probably set him to work hanging up lights pretty quickly. We might leave them off for a few weeks, though.

I like the idea of a purple wreath for the door and a purple table runner -- I might look into those. I've obviously got to switch out our fall wreath soon.

There is a house in my neighborhood that has had Christmas decorations up since before Halloween, which I find a little crazy. They even have a little sign up that counts down the days until Christmas... I think for the first couple days it wasn't even on because it wasn't programmed to go that high.

And yeah, I agree about the Black Friday stuff. I've had to work on Black Friday and it is no fun. I'm even seeing stories now about people who are ALREADY camped out for BF. Like, whole families. Do school and jobs have no meaning?

christinamarie325 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_tuesday-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:6bc21f0b-e8fc-48ce-9f1f-ac23d0355f4cPost:8eeb31e7-6f21-426b-8078-16080a294a3d">Re: Tuesday question</a>:
[QUOTE]IThis is what I plan to teach my children: Advent is a time for preparation: we prepare our hearts and minds by studying scripture and prayer (Jesse Tree and Advent wreath), we prepare our souls by going to confession, we prepare our homes through decoration, we prepare to celebrate by baking, wrapping, etc. We share the fact that we are waiting in Joyful Hope by sending cards and we anticipate Jesus' birth with music and song. It's not perfect, but it's the best I can do to reconcile the Truths of the Church with society's belief that Christmas begins the second Thanksgiving is over. As my kid(s) get older, I hope to hold off on some of the bigger activies until after Christmas to really emphasize the Christmas SEASON. We're still really debating how much emphasis we are going to put on Santa in our home. The options are not at all, only a little, and a little more than a little. We plan to skip Elf on the Shelf, and ad nauseam trips to see Santa here, there and everywhere, and really focus on the Reason for the season. At the same time, I don't want to totally deny my kids that part of childhood. I also don't want to have that obnoxious kid in kindergarten. You know the one. We'll see what happens. We have another year or two to really decide.
Posted by bibliophile2010[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I think you're spot on. Growing up we always turned out lights on Thanksgiving night, and the tree went up that weekend. I LOVED it. I would get so excited to see the advent wreath at mass. (still do!) I see nothing wrong with Santa, when handled appropriately. We were only allowed to open stockings before mass. All of big presents had to wait untl after. I think that was an important lesson that stuck with me as a kid. </div><div>
</div><div>This year since I'll be married, I probably wont get a tree up until mid December, only because I wont have free time until then. But once thanksgiving comes, I'm all excited to celebrate Christmas. I can't wait to bake my own Christmas treats and have family come to me. :)

</div>

lalaith50 · November 2012

[QUOTE] I wanted to leave the church singing the wassail song, like literally - me, the whole bridal party singing, but we decided that wasn't appropriate for the church. <strong>Maybe as we enter the reception. </strong>
Posted by maggieandrey[/QUOTE]
PLEASE DO THIS!!!! :-D

bibliophile2010 · November 2012

I was something of a stickler for having the Nativity set up "just right." My sister and I frequently fought over it. One key element of this was having he Wise Men arrive from the East, even though that looked way funny with the way the Nativity was set up. I never got why I would leave out the Baby Jesus as a kid (everyone adoring an empty manger seemed weird to me), though I understand as an adult with much more theology under my belt.

Just to clarify, I don't have any problems with Santa personally. I have, though, been turned off by a family I know who go to church, but their kids don't have any concept of the real reason for Christmas, and for whom Christmas is only about Santa. For me, that's not okay., and so we're working to figure out the balance.

maggieandrey · November 2012

I think I'm going to encorporate all these things with the nativity when I have kids. The wise men will start out on the far east side of the house and journey to the nativity. I love it!

biblio - I'm with you on this one. We went to a church in NJ two years ago that had Santa at the 5pm Christmas Eve mass. Seems really confusing to a young mind that you're trying to strike the right balance with.

Lalaith, you're the only one on board with this awesome idea of mine. I'm thinking open bar, by the end of the night I'll get people singing with me!

newlyseliski · November 2012

I usually wait till the first weekend of advent and sometimes have been super lazy and left decorations up through lent

Just the basic fake tree with Christmas lights, advent wreath and nativity (sans baby Jesus until Christmas Day and Magi until Epiphany). I despise the crappy and syrupy "Christmas music" that our local radio stations typically play... so I'll usually only listen to oldies and classical Christmas stuff at home during advent.

In the past few years, I've traditionally done Black Friday with my sisters, but this year, my youngest sister is working and my other sister is very pregnant... so it's not happening this year! We were usually pretty lazy about it anyways and would wake up around 7 and go to Target or Best Buy for the deeply discounted DVDs and then go home and nap. Chances are we won't be missing out on much and could just go online if we do any shopping at all... meh...

lalaith50 · November 2012

Biblio- I've always thought I'm pretty much a stickler for not putting Baby Jesus in til Christmas day, and the wise men arriving on Epiphany, but having them come from the actual *East* is a pretty awesome idea! Thanks for it!

Tami87 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_tuesday-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:6bc21f0b-e8fc-48ce-9f1f-ac23d0355f4cPost:2df85cf3-12db-4942-8f6f-41e64aa8886e">Re: Tuesday question</a>:
[QUOTE]We went to a church in NJ two years ago that had Santa at the 5pm Christmas Eve mass. Seems really confusing to a young mind that you're trying to strike the right balance with.
Posted by maggieandrey[/QUOTE]

This reminded me of a story about the church I grew up in. When I was a teenager I remember there was a preist that would always read this Christmas story about Santa Claus during his homily for Christmas eve mass and invite all the kids to come sit up front and listen (there were lots of families and little kids at this parish). It talked about Santa Claus brining gifts to some children and also praying with or for them. The emphasis was that the prayers were the best gift. It was kinda interesting but I always found it a little odd.

I can't imagine not doing Santa Claus for my children, although I have a few friends who grew up without having Santa Claus and they don't feel like they missed out. I also think it would be good to emphasize the story of St. Nicholas and selfless generosity and giving gifts to those in need over the North Pole, elves, reindeer etc. My family always participated in our church giving tree and bought presents and food for those in need and that is a tradition I want to continue with my kids.

I refuse to decorate or listen to Christmas music until after Thanksgiving, although generally anytime after that I don't have a problem with putting up decorations.

bibliophile2010 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_tuesday-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:6bc21f0b-e8fc-48ce-9f1f-ac23d0355f4cPost:b41608c7-f040-4469-b555-3e73db0e0def">Re: Tuesday question</a>:
[QUOTE]Biblio- I've always thought I'm pretty much a stickler for not putting Baby Jesus in til Christmas day, and the wise men arriving on Epiphany, but having them come from the actual *East* is a pretty awesome idea! Thanks for it!
Posted by lalaith50[/QUOTE]

You're most welcome. I'm still unsure of how I feel about the empty manger, mostly because I associate it with a funny incident from a really rough time in my life that I don't necessarily want to relive repeatedly every Advent.

Resa77 · November 2012

I'm very curious about this incident, Biblio, but I won't press it since I'm sure you don't want to relive it on TK, either!

Newly -- how can you hate Christmas music?!?!?

mtrosales · November 2012

I'm especially excited this year as it is our 'first' Christmas; we bought our tree on Monday! Will put it up this weekend, along with lights and everything else. MIL bought us a great nativity set at a rummage sell!

Also, I'm one of the annoying people who leave Christmas music on their iPod year-round haha

Christmas has always been such a sentimental time for my family, (if possible) even more so since my grandma passed away a couple of years ago.

My favorite tradition is always laying baby Jesus down on the Nochebuena. My grandma used to make him a new gown every year.

When we were kids, my cousins always used to argue about who got to rock the him while we sang, before laying him in the manger.. not so much now that we're all grown, but it's still a very special time!

Everything usually comes down after Dia de los Reyes.

bibliophile2010 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_tuesday-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:6bc21f0b-e8fc-48ce-9f1f-ac23d0355f4cPost:949c9282-5dc1-4d3c-86c1-839c8a563d17">Re: Tuesday question</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm very curious about this incident, Biblio, but I won't press it since I'm sure you don't want to relive it on TK, either! Newly -- how can you hate Christmas music?!?!?
Posted by Resa77[/QUOTE]

Eh, the incident itself is actually sort-of funny. It was a rough time for my family (due to illnesss -- and thus the bad memories). It was a couple of days before Christmas. An eccentric, but good-hearted acquaintance (my mom using that description is how I learned the word eccentric) dropped by to deliver some Christmas treats (of sorts), and saw we had the Baby Jesus in His manger. She got all uppity about it, removed the Baby, and shoved Him into a random drawer! <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-undecided.gif" border="0" alt="Undecided" title="Undecided" />

As soon as she left, we very pointedly returned Jesus to the safety of the manger! I mean, it takes a lot of audacity to open people's drawers, much less shove Poor Baby Jesus in them! <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-tongue-out.gif" border="0" alt="Tongue Out" title="Tongue Out" />

Jasmine&Rajah · November 2012

In Response to Re: Tuesday question:

[QUOTE This is what I plan to teach my children: Advent is a time for preparation: we prepare our hearts and minds by studying scripture and prayer (Jesse Tree and Advent wreath), we prepare our souls by going to confession, we prepare our homes through decoration, we prepare to celebrate by baking, wrapping, etc. We share the fact that we are waiting in Joyful Hope by sending cards and we anticipate Jesus' birth with music and song.

Posted by bibliophile2010[/QUOTE]

My thoughts exactly!

One cultural tradition I would like to share with my children is going outside with them before bedtime on Christmas Eve, and laying out carrots and hay for the donkey as Our Lady and St. Joseph "pass by" on their way to Bethlehem. (We did this instead of cookies for Santa when I was growing up.) And there is also a special dessert that is made when a baby is born, so we'll do that in celebration of Christ's birth. (True story - when my parents were blessed with my youngest sister, an aunt overseas in "the homeland" refused to bake this dessert because she was upset that my parents had had yet another girl instead of a boy!)

DH and I are also unsure as to "how much Santa" we'll have in our home. I've seen Santa and the Christmas tree overshadow the birth of our Savior and the Nativity way too many times in my life! On a related note, we always had the "Kneeling Santa" statue in our home at Christmas, which I loved. :-)

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