August 2012 Brides - Do You Have Any Words of Wisdom for the August 2013 Brides?

island07b2b · August 2012

Ladies - It would be wonderful when you can if you leave your pearls of wisdom for the August 2013 brides. It can be anything you want us to know or think of as we plan and/or things to think about for the wedding day that you encountered on your day.

I will post a link to your replies or have the moderator set it up as a sticky post for the August 2013 brides.

I know all of you are super busy getting ready for your big day or getting down to the newly married life so I appreciate your replies in advance!!!

MrsNaut0812 · August 2012

I'll pop in even though I'm 10 days out still

Remember your wedding is not as important to others as it is to you. You may find your family or friends don't want to talk about it all the time and that's ok. Change up the conversation and try to talk about other things (unless they just love to talk about the wedding any chance they get lol)

I stronly recommend getting all your DIY projects done ahead of time. I found that while some of they stuff I did on my own wasn't hard, it was time consuming. This will help with stress, time, and everything else you don't want to have to deal with the week of your wedding.

You can't please everyone. Someone is bound to be upset or mad about something but you and your FI needs to figure out what's worth fighting for and letting go. Being called a Bridezilla (when you're not) is really frustrating!

That's all I have for now since I still have time until the wedding but I am sure some of the other girls have more words of wisdom for you ladies!

ohnoitskaroljo · August 2012

BREAK IN YOUR SHOES!! I have nasty marks on my ankles!

Try to slow down and enjoy it as much as possible and if anyone else tries to start drama, have someone you trust to diffuse the situation asap!

and EATTTTT. No matter what - take the time to eat what you paid for! I didn't get to!!!

ChristineNB · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_august-2012-weddings_august-2012-brides-do-you-have-any-words-of-wisdom-for-the-august-2013-brides?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:1fb748ee-7a4e-40eb-b4b4-e553486f4cacDiscussion:26d62899-f06a-4ae2-b5a6-3bc4062b31e5Post:d7cf4c8b-4895-4338-bed2-1c53b9aeb089">Re: August 2012 Brides - Do You Have Any Words of Wisdom for the August 2013 Brides?</a>:
[QUOTE]BREAK IN YOUR SHOES!! I have nasty marks on my ankles! Try to slow down and enjoy it as much as possible and if anyone else tries to start drama, have someone you trust to diffuse the situation asap! and EATTTTT. No matter what - take the time to eat what you paid for! I didn't get to!!!
Posted by ohnoitskaroljo[/QUOTE]
Karol, this sucks that you didn't get to eat! Between your feet and being hungry you must have been ready for the night to end.

RichNicci4211122 · August 2012

Don't try to make everyone happy. It can't be done. Remember this is about you and FI. So do what make the two of you happy, within reason. Like a PP already said, we understand how excited you are about the wedding, but everyone else is not. Your friends and family have lives that don't revolve around your wedding so remember to talk about their lives and not just the wedding. Relax and enjoy all of your planning. Best of luck to all of the August 2012 brides.

random4180 · August 2012

Delegate! I am terrible at asking people to help with stuff so by the time we got to the big day, I was the only one who knew how anything was supposed to look- and there is no time to be setting up the card table or putting the centerpieces together when you get really down to the wire.

Eat a meal or two on your big day. I made time for everyone who came to the salon with me to go out to eat afterwards so we all got lunch. We had a 3:30 ceremony and since we started at the salon at 9AM, that time gap would have been terrible- particularly for the flower girls. And since I'd never eaten in my dress before, I didn't realize how little interest in food I would have once I was in it- while I had some of the plate I got, I really found that I wasn't even hungry. I think it was the excitement

If you do a receiving line, keep it short. We just had my husband and I and it was done in under 10 minutes (about 100 guests.)

Make sure the sound system is set before you do the toasts or dances! The mic went out a few times during the best man's speech and while our first dance went great, the next song (my dance with my dad) wound up playing with just the instrumental and no lyrics- an issue with the speaker. We had a do over later.

When planning the whole affair, two things come to mind for me. 1) Remember it's only one day in what should be a whole lifetime of being married. 2) If you know what you want, stick to your guns! We did a bunch of unconventional things but also stuck to some tradition because that's what worked for us. We had to defend our choices for opting out of a limo, for going with a pasta bar buffet, for making my own wedding cake, forgoing a florist in favor of dried flower bouquets and DIY centerpieces made with mail ordered bulk fresh flowers, not having a uniform BM dress or even a particular store to order from, having our wedding on a Wednesday...It all turned out fine and I was able to look around the day of our wedding and know that it was what we really wanted.

Good luck and have fun

bridejl · August 2012

Carefully watch your budget in the month/weeks leading up to the wedding. Numbers that would normally be large and out of my price range appeared to be small, and I went for them. I became numb to large price tags. Now that the wedding is over and my credit card bill is looming, and my savings is dropping, I regret a couple things I splurged on (like a really expensive piece of lingerie- yes, it is beautiful, but not worth the price tag!)

Eyejewel · August 2012

Eating is very important. Figure out those DIY early or have some people help you. It is really crazy at the end if its all not done. Remember to squeeze in some not wedding planning along the way of the planning. Very one else is not as wedding focused as you. Really prioritize whar you want for your budget and stick too it. (around it atleast).

Best of luck!

island07b2b · August 2012

Thanks ladies! These are great points. Keep them coming.

spazticrexe · August 2012

If you are going to do DIY, start as early as possible. My last few months and weeks leading up to the wedding have been quiet for the most part because I did a lot of things way ahead of time. My family kind of gave me the side-eye about it sometimes, but the reduction of stress later has been well worth it.

My FI, however, was in charge of making the cake topper. He put it off until 2 weeks before the wedding, so he spent several nights in a row working on it until the wee hours. We're both happy with how it turned out, and I ended up helping with some parts of it, but I wish he had taken my advice to start working on it much earlier.

Also, I've heard stories of people forgetting all kinds of things for their wedding. I have an especially bad memory, so I've been making lists and putting together boxes of items - I have one labelled "Rehearsal" and one labelled "Day-of" - the boxes plus the checklists I think will help reduce the amount of things forgotten.

I'm not going to be married until Saturday though, so I might have a few more things after then

FlintstonePearl · August 2012

I was married Aug. 11. Our wedding day was better than we ever dreamed. The cherries on top were a write-up in the New York Times and a small budget *surplus* after all our vendors were paid. Yay! We had 87 guests (out of 92 RSVPs), a church ceremony, a formal dinner and a dance-till-you-sweat reception. We were engaged for four months and spent about 100 days actively planning.

Lots of great advice from previous posters. My additional tips for August 2013 brides:

1. Get off The Knot! It is way too early to start planning (despite what most bridal experts say). Spend the next six months focusing on your relationship with your fiance, getting to know your future in-laws and saving as much money as you can. Come back early next year, ready to get to down to business

2. Set a budget with your FI and stick to it. Agree on how much money you are willing/able to spend and how much debt (if any) you are willing to take on. Consider this practice for how you will manage your finances as a married couple.

3. Realize that your guest list is the biggest cost driver to your wedding. Invite the people who matter the most and give your parents a fixed number of invites to do with what they wish.

4. Don't send save the dates or have an engagement party until your guest list and budget are firmly set.

5. Consider mailing marriage announcements to the people you were unable to invite to the wedding for space or cost reasons. This is a rare social courtesy that people really appreciated from us. It also lessened the guilt me and my parents felt for not inviting work friends, church members, distant relatives, etc.

6a. It is not just *your* day. The whole purpose of getting married is to join your life with another person. Listen to your FI and respect his wishes. He loves you.

6b. It is not just *your* day. Be a gracious host by respecting the time and budget of your guests. Choose a wedding location, time and registry that is reasonable for the people you love most.

7. The best gift you can give your bridal party is to be a kind and thoughtful bride. Never use the demands of your wedding planning as an excuse to treat your best friends poorly. Thank them often for their support.

Congrats on your engagement! Good luck!

itzMS · August 2012

I'll share some of the things that "No one prepared us for" that DH & I discovered.

1. If you have a non-traditional family situation (divorced/remarried parents, etc) communication is key. My wedding coordinator somehow "forgot" that FIL was remarried and totally blew off SMIL. Ooops.

2. Guests will linger in the church after the ceremony. And creep behind your professional photographer and ruin your pro pics with their camera flashes. Again, ooops.

3. Inevitably, there will be road construction or traffic delays on the way to the reception.

4. People will come up and hug you/talk to you while you are attempting to eat your meal. I'm not sure if there is a solution for this. DH and I ended up not eating. It sucks, but it's really hard to stuff your face while talking (and having your picture taken!)

5. The best thing DH and I did was stay together at all times during the reception. It seems weird in theory to act glued at the hip, but I got to enjoy the whole day WITH HIM and talk to all the same guests TOGETHER. It was pretty awesome. When we didn't want to talk to anyone (or needed a moment), he would hold me close, we'd quietly talk, and just absorb our surroundings.

6. Say "Thank You" as much as you can. To vendors, the waitstaff, photographers, guests, bridal party, your DH. The minute you think you are being polite and gracious enough, be a little bit more. It made me smile even wider when I was being a grateful person.

7. Pose for each and every picture you are requested for. Yes, you may get a little less time with your guests, but the pictures last forever.

bridejl · August 2012

I ditto the PP on making sure you and your groom remember to be together during the reception. DH and I spent quite a bit of the reception separate since we had different guests to talk to (I was determined to talk to my tons of out of town family and friends, and he had his out of town friends and family to talk to). It was kind of like we divided and conquered as far as talking to guests, and at the time I didn't mind it. But now, 2.5 weeks post-wedding, what I remember most from the reception is not dancing much and not being with my DH much. I don't regret taking the time to talk to all those people, but still. We took family group pictures and it was like DH disappeared from my side right after them.

RailWayWife · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_august-2012-weddings_august-2012-brides-do-you-have-any-words-of-wisdom-for-the-august-2013-brides?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:1fb748ee-7a4e-40eb-b4b4-e553486f4cacDiscussion:26d62899-f06a-4ae2-b5a6-3bc4062b31e5Post:f65a36dd-96fa-4dfa-a417-2de274bfe532">Re: August 2012 Brides - Do You Have Any Words of Wisdom for the August 2013 Brides?</a>:
[QUOTE]I was married Aug. 11. Our wedding day was better than we ever dreamed. The cherries on top were a write-up in the New York Times and a small budget *surplus* after all our vendors were paid. Yay! We had 87 guests (out of 92 RSVPs), a church ceremony, a formal dinner and a dance-till-you-sweat reception. We were engaged for four months and spent about 100 days actively planning. Lots of great advice from previous posters. My additional tips for August 2013 brides: <strong>1. Get off The Knot! It is way too early to start planning (despite what most bridal experts say). Spend the next six months focusing on your relationship with your fiance, getting to know your future in-laws and saving as much money as you can. Come back early next year, ready to get to down to business :)</strong> 2. Set a budget with your FI and stick to it. Agree on how much money you are willing/able to spend and how much debt (if any) you are willing to take on. Consider this practice for how you will manage your finances as a married couple. 3. Realize that your guest list is the biggest cost driver to your wedding. Invite the people who matter the most and give your parents a fixed number of invites to do with what they wish. 4. Don't send save the dates or have an engagement party until your guest list and budget are firmly set. 5. Consider mailing marriage announcements to the people you were unable to invite to the wedding for space or cost reasons. This is a rare social courtesy that people really appreciated from us. It also lessened the guilt me and my parents felt for not inviting work friends, church members, distant relatives, etc. 6a. It is not just *your* day. The whole purpose of getting married is to join your life with another person. Listen to your FI and respect his wishes. He loves you. 6b. It is not just *your* day. Be a gracious host by respecting the time and budget of your guests. Choose a wedding location, time and registry that is reasonable for the people you love most. 7. The best gift you can give your bridal party is to be a kind and thoughtful bride. Never use the demands of your wedding planning as an excuse to treat your best friends poorly. Thank them often for their support. Congrats on your engagement! Good luck!
Posted by FlintstonePearl[/QUOTE]

Is this really the best advice? If I wait to do anything until 6 months before we get married we wouldnt be able to book any vendors and would be stressed beyong belief... Plus being a student and working full time leaves little time for planning a wedding, I dont want to be stressed with everything wedding for 6 full months, I would much rather spend the next year slowly-stress free doing wedding related things while focusing on my relationship with FI, we have been together for 5 years, I know my inlaws very well and we have been engaged for over 2 years so we have more than enough saved for the wedding. I have to disagree with someone who has already been through the planning process but I just cant see how waiting until you are 6 months out makes any sence at all.

drummerbonbon · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_august-2012-weddings_august-2012-brides-do-you-have-any-words-of-wisdom-for-the-august-2013-brides?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:1fb748ee-7a4e-40eb-b4b4-e553486f4cacDiscussion:26d62899-f06a-4ae2-b5a6-3bc4062b31e5Post:adc70861-dc5e-454f-955b-bb09bfb960d8">Re: August 2012 Brides - Do You Have Any Words of Wisdom for the August 2013 Brides?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: August 2012 Brides - Do You Have Any Words of Wisdom for the August 2013 Brides? : Is this really the best advice? If I wait to do anything until 6 months before we get married we wouldnt be able to book any vendors and would be stressed beyong belief... <strong>Plus being a student and working full time leaves little time for planning a wedding</strong>, I dont want to be stressed with everything wedding for 6 full months, I would much rather spend the next year slowly-stress free doing wedding related things while focusing on my relationship with FI, we have been together for 5 years, I know my inlaws very well and we have been engaged for over 2 years so we have more than enough saved for the wedding. I have to disagree with someone who has already been through the planning process but I just cant see how waiting until you are 6 months out makes any sence at all.
Posted by RailWayWife[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I agree with this. I was very happy that I got a lot done this summer when I was only taking two classes and working part time because now I don't have to do a lot of it when I'm taking six classes, working, and preparing for student teaching in the spring.

</div>

brittneym913 · September 2012

What about the business/craziness of summer! And the heat... The venue I want for 2013 is only available August 10th or October 26th and I don't want October 26th. The issues that concern me are people running around during the summer while I'm inviting them to the shower/bachelorette party/rehearsal dinner/ and wedding. Also with taking photos outside in Illinois I'm praying for a cooler day although, pictures might not be really long.

Thoughts/tips/words of wisdom??

mrslawton · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_august-2012-weddings_august-2012-brides-do-you-have-any-words-of-wisdom-for-the-august-2013-brides?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:1fb748ee-7a4e-40eb-b4b4-e553486f4cacDiscussion:26d62899-f06a-4ae2-b5a6-3bc4062b31e5Post:b11e7d46-9847-4b12-bd4e-9dc8f035f90d">Re: August 2012 Brides - Do You Have Any Words of Wisdom for the August 2013 Brides?</a>:
[QUOTE]What about the business/craziness of summer! And the heat... The venue I want for 2013 is only available August 10th or October 26th and I don't want October 26th. The issues that concern me are people running around during the summer while I'm inviting them to the shower/bachelorette party/rehearsal dinner/ and wedding. Also with taking photos outside in Illinois I'm praying for a cooler day although, pictures might not be really long. Thoughts/tips/words of wisdom??
Posted by brittneym913[/QUOTE]

My wedding is booked for Aug 30, 13. I keep telling myself that the people who matter most will make a point of BEING THERE. If they're flaking out on you and not giving you straight answeres when you ask if they can attend ( fittings/ party/ shower/ ceremony/reception) then they may not actually want to be there. Our families and friends are SO excited for us to be finally getting married after 5 yrs together that they're already asking when it is so they can get time off and make arrangements. our guest list is pushing 250 (mostly family) but I know some of my first cousins I dont know very well or see very often wont be there. Thats ok. Cause I know my closest cousins will.

As far as weather goes: check the Farmers Almanac for an estimated forecast and check weather histories online to see what the weather's been like in the past on that day. Dress accordingly. If its hot, provide lots of water and maybe paper fans at events. I helped hold purses for my friend's sister's wedding in May in Western MI and it was cold that day! They were all out there in their sleeveless dresses and shivering! If its too hot or cold or windy, find someplace indoors like a green house or something to take photos.
Hope that's helpful.

Bride2BeN2013 · September 2012

Thanks for all of the advice Ladies! Its very appreciated! Hope you are all enjoying married life!

tlal1026 · July 2013

With August 2013 upon us, I look back to August 2012 and reflect on the best day of my life.

Hopefully by now you have mostly last minute things to do. By that I mean FINAL dress fitting, FINAL conversations with caterer, venue, flowers etc. Take this last month and enjoy the excitement of your day. It will come fast and it will go fast. In a blink of an eye your day will be over and done with. Do not stress over things that go wrong. I had an outdoor wedding and my music didn't play, to be honest with you I don't think anyone even noticed. There were certain pictures I wanted taken and that didn't happen. Again, not the end of the world. I have more than enough pictures. Not getting one of myself coming down the stair case didn't stop my wedding.

So, to sum things up. Your day is going to happen, ready or not. It will be the wedding of your dreams even if things don't happen exactly the way you planned. Embrace the moment, take it all in, breath, and have fun. Don't complain about what should have happened.

Congratulations, 2013 Brides. May you have a wonderful life with your new husbands.

August 2012 Brides - Do You Have Any Words of Wisdom for the August 2013 Brides?

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