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and guest???? need help please:)

ThautThaut member
First Comment
in Colorado
So I need some help... I am on a tight budget but still want to invite some friends college.  I sent about 6 of my girls their save the date (did not put and guest) and ALL of them text me saying my boyfriend and I can not wait to come??? HELP! That adds 6 more guest to my list and right now it is almost $90 a person:( I do not want to be rude to them?? But how do I let them know I can not afford to have them bring their significant others- I was hoping they would all want it to be a girl trip- they all know people that will be at the wedding.  I feel bad but I am already way over budget with guest?? please help:) Thank you !

Kellyn
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Re: and guest???? need help please:)

  • wifeandmommy0609wifeandmommy0609
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think you just need to let them know that your budget doesn't allow for extra guest at this time and if you get room for their SO then you will let them know.
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  • ms.jessms.jess member
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    edited December 2011
    I would wait and see what happens. Maybe 6 people in your family don't RSVP, then you are good. But don't break the news yet because that would cause a rift. See what happens when you send out the invites.
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  • shelliemarieshelliemarie
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    edited December 2011
    I hate to say this but you shouldn't leave their SO out.  long term couples (varying definitions of how long - you decide) are considered a social unit.  Would you like being invited somehwere important like a wedding and being told, sorry, there's no room for you fiance?  Just my opinion.
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  • ridgebackbrideridgebackbride
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    edited December 2011
    I agree with Shellie.
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  • wifeandmommy0609wifeandmommy0609
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    edited December 2011
    after thinking more about this. I was thinking could you cut back on a few things to allow your budget for them?

    maybe 6 people won't be able to attend and you will be fine.  but i would think of areas i could cut back on incase everyone you invites is a Yes and you can also include their SO's.
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  • ThautThaut member
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    edited December 2011
    My fiance would love if he wasnt invited to a wedding! What guy is ever excited to go to a wedding when he knows nobody?? :)
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  • mizjodimizjodi member
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    edited December 2011

    Reality check; just because your df would love NOT to be invited doesn't make that right or polite! the SO can choose not to come, but if it's a long-term serious couple, they ARE a unit, and it would be incredibly rude to snub the other like that!

    Now, that being said, if they've been together less than six months, a little more acceptable. But as pp's said, you need to find other ways to cut; you invite social units together!

    One acceptable rule is "no ring, no bring" except in the case of couples who aren't allowed to marry due to state laws.

    HTH!

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  • mls02005mls02005 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We're having the same battle in my house.... I think that its ok for someone to bring a date if they are a true significant other (for example, I've actually met them??), whereas my fiance thinks that all his "buddies" should be able to bring a date. None of his buddies are currently dating anyone, but they are the type of guys who would call up some random chickie just to bring along.

    Not only is our budget tight, but our venue will only fit 80 people comfortably, and we're already over that. Any help in how to resolve this without creating a rift would be appreciated!!

    I read somewhere that an invitation should never say "and guest", it should only have names (so if you dont' know the name of thier boyfriend, they're not invited). But I seem to be the only one who agrees!
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  • mizjodimizjodi member
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_colorado_guest-need-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:632Discussion:7dbf983d-4866-4912-a355-c9d13cb6091cPost:809a9b9c-14e0-4051-b1c6-bc6addac55d7">Re: and guest???? need help please:)</a>:
    [QUOTE]I read somewhere that an invitation should never say "and guest", it should only have names (so if you dont' know the name of thier boyfriend, they're not invited). But I seem to be the only one who agrees!
    Posted by mls02005[/QUOTE]

    You are correct; you have no need to go and just throw out "and guest." if it's a LTR, then you find out the name. If someone is single, you are in NO way obligated to make your wedding a date night!

    AND you've got the built in venue limits; this is something you should DEFINITELY put your foot down about!
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  • ThautThaut member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    great! Thank you for your help! :)
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