Seeing as we've suddenly had an influx of newbies as of late (along with an occasional regular catching BSC Syndrome), I've decided to update the board's unofficial by-laws and dictionary, as well as consolidate it into one post.
So, in an effort to guide some of our new girls in posting on NEY and not getting ripped to shreds or labeled MUD/BSC/bebe, and avoid one more "what does <insert term here /> mean?" post, here are some unofficial bylaws for posting on NEY, as well as a dictionary of terms commonly used on our board, as well as Knottie boards in general. Use them, and use them well.
NYE Board By-Laws (courtesy of oceana919)
#1. Do not use phrases "I'm mature for my age", "he's the most sweetest", "I'm still in high school", "we've been together 2 months", "he's been engaged 5 times", "no one understands us", or "but we're different". You will immediately be labeled BSC, MUD, or a bebe.
#2. If you ask for advice, take advice gracefully. If you answer well-thought-out /genuine/respectful replies with phrases like "you don't know me/us" or "I don't have to justify myself/us to any of you", you open yourself up to flaming. You came on here asking for our advice, sweetheart...don't go hostile if you don't get the particular advice you wanted to hear. 95% of the time, people will respond with genuine, well-thought advice not intented to insult you, but rather to help. If you go hostile because we don't pat you on the head and hand you a lollipop, you get what's coming to you. If you want rainbows and puppies, you should go to a different site.
#3. Don't DD (dirty delete). If you don't like the responses you get, explain yourself/discuss them with posters, or just move on. By deleting your post in a fit of self-righteous temper tantrum, you've now a) completely pissed off the posters that actually took the time to give you articulate, well-founded, and/or well-thought-out opinions and advice, b) removed the possibility that another newbie in a similar situation as yours could gain any insight or information that could be of help to them, and c) immediately gotten yourself labeled as a beebee and ruined all chances of you being taken seriously on this board ever again.
#4. If you would like to respond to comments on a thread you created, please make those comments on the thread you created. You don't need to start a whole new thread - all that will do is confuse everyone on the board as to what you're talking about, and force us to have to troll through the board to find your old post. Besides, everyone who commented will be checking back to your original post to see what you have to say.
#5. If you're unsure of a term or reference on the board, check this page, or click on the badges on any of our girls siggie labeled "check the dictionary". That's why this whole thing is here. If you post "what does MUD mean?", you've just given yourself the newb label. Congrats.
#6. If you come on here and say that you're planning a wedding but aren't "officially engaged", be sure to clarify. If you don't, you're likely to elicit many responses consisting of "congrats! you're engaged!" and "you can get engaged without a ring" and will be forced to clarify anyways.
#7. That being said, if you run on here and introduce yourself by telling us how you're not "officially" engaged yet, but you have your wedding planned down to the wording on the favor cards, you will be labeled BSC. Every girl dreams of her wedding, and has ideas as to what she wants. There is a difference between having ideas, and planning every last detail without your BF/FI's consent or knowledge.
#8. If you're new here, do like you would on any board and lurk first. Get a feel for how the board dynamics work before you post. If you shoot right out of the door with replying to a random board (particularly a NEY veteran) with a snarky reply, you'll get flamed faster than a steak on a BBQ. Lurk a while, get used to how it works, then introduce yourself. We're all pretty nice here, and welcome newcomers.
#9. If you're under the age of, say, 22, are still in high school, or have been with your BF for less than a year, you will be encouraged by many of our ladies to slow down, take your time, wait until you're older/more mature/have been together longer. If you disagree, the best response to this advice is something along the lines of "I appreciate your advice, but respectfully disagree". If you say any of the following, you are fair game:
- "I act more mature than other girls my age"
- "I'm different because I'm in honors society/I had a hard life/etc."
- "You guys just don't understand me"
Heads up - every girl 16-19 thinks she's more mature than all the other girls their age, even if they aren't. Being an honors student isn't a guaranteed ticket to maturity - especially given that approximately 20% of every high school class carries that distinction. A sash doesn't make you different, sweetheart, it just makes you decorated. A hard life doesn't do it either - everyone has hardships in life. Either you learn from them, or you use them as a crutch. Move on.
If you want us to believe you're so mature, prove your maturity. We'll be sure to treat you accordingly when you do.
#10. Don't be nasty to a veteran/board usual. Very very very bad idea. NYE-ers tend to stick together, even after they get engaged. A lot of us have been on here for months/years, and have seen each other through the anticipation of engagements, weddings, breakups, deaths in the family, pregnancies, miscarriages, etc. Verbally b*slapping one of our usuals because you don't like her response to your post is guarenteed to get you flamed and make you the subject of subsequent board inside jokes ("I'm growner than I am" or surprise icerink weddings, anyone?!?). Posting an entire thread oh-snapping one or more of our vets will really get you in trouble (right, puffin?).
#11. Don't go crying to other boards if you don't get the responses you want here. All that's likely to do is get you flamed on that board and this board.
#12. Be kind, respectful, supportive, and open to advice. Don't be whiny, bitchy, self-entitled, snobby, or arrogant. You'll get what you give on this board.
#13. It doesn't matter what she says, Jeanna is always right. Always.
NEY Dictionary (courtesy of jeannacorina, new additions by oceana)
-----------------------Technichal Jargon-----------------------
NEY: Not Engaged (Yet)
The name of this forum.
PP - Previous Poster
People who posted before you.
OP - Original Poster
Person who started the thread.
BSC: Bat Sh!t Crazy
NOT a good thing. This usually involves ice-skating rink surprise weddings, or buying a wedding dress online without trying it on or even being engaged. Basically, planning your wedding without your BF knowing about it is BSC.
MUD: Made Up Drama
This is when someone decides to have a little fun at everyone's expense and fabricate an elaborate story that isn't entirely true. If someone says they think your post is MUD, that pretty much means you sound too bizarre to be real.
PIP: Picture In Post
Adding a picture directly to a post instead of posting it url. It's nice to do this, so that people don't have to click unfamiliar links.
NSFW: Not Safe For Work
May contain very interesting things, but also nudity, grossness, or cursing. Open at your own risk!
DD: Dirty Delete
When someone posts asking for advice, gets responses they don't like, and deletes the whole thing; thus depriving anyone else from benefitting from the advice and insulting the people who spent the time to give it. Posts can no longer be deleted when they have replies, so DDing isn't very common.
YGM: You've Got Mail
Someone sent a private message or email.
S/O: Spin-Off
A post that originated in another thread but was so neat it needed its own.
F/U: Follow-Up
An update on an older thread. I always thought this meant f***ed up.
NWR: Not Wedding Related
Enough said.
Beebee
A form of "baby," usually meaning a poster who is not only new, but immature with a lot of misconceptions about relationships and marriage. If you are collectively deemed a "beebee", you will recieve a "beebee tiara" (see NEY Inside Jokes).
AW: Attention Wh*re
Someone who will do anything for attention. Good or bad. Doesn't matter. LOOK AT ME!!!
PW: Post Wh*re
Someone who posts just to increase their post count. They probably post in almost every discussion but don't add anything of value.
GBCK: Goodbye Cruel Knot
Usually used when someone makes a post to announce that they aren't posting anymore, presumably to get attention or elicit sympathy. Typically backfires, so it's not suggested that you use this method.
-----------------------Wedding-Related-----------------------
OOT: Out of Town
MOH: Maid of Honor
The chick who puts up with all your wedding crap, probably because she loves you and realizes you're just temporarily insane.
BM: Bridesmaid
Sometimes confused with "bowel movement."
JOP: Justice Of the Peace
Where many of us wish we were going about halfway through the wedding planning process.
Bridezilla:
A bride who is taking it too far and being demanding and unreasonable. Like expecting ALL of your bridesmaids to drive 7 hours to your hometown for monthly wedding meetings. Then having your MOH b*tch them out when they can't make it, because you can't be bothered to speak to anyone.
Momzilla:
A mom or MIL who is taking it too far and being demanding/unreasonable, or is insistent on planning daughter/future daughter-in-law's entire wedding. Will often use guilt, anger, tears to achieve desired goals. Have been known use how much money they are contributing towards wedding, family obligations, and how rotten you were as a teenager as ammo.
Maidzilla:
A MOH or BM that is a total nightmare. Can manifest in many ways, including a) a MOH/BM who is insistent on turning the rest of your BP into their personal secretaries and/or controlling all details of wedding day preparations, bridal shower, bachelorette party, etc.; b) refusing to cooperate with any aspect of the wedding or reasonable request from the bride (e.g. insisting on wearing a different dress from everyone else, refusal to purchase affordable bm dress, refusing to return phone calls/emails, etc.), c) being a jealous nasty wench because for no other reason than you're getting married. You have probably debated kicking her out of the BP for your own sanity, but haven't because that's a major ettiquite no-no. If there was a television show called Maidzillas, you'd nominate her for it.
STD: Save the Date
Commonly mistaken for Sexually Transmitted Disease.
MOB: Mother of Bride
MOG: Mother of Groom
FMIL: Future Mother In Law
Also known as the devil.
FSIL: Future Sister In Law
FBIL: Future Brother In Law
FFIL: Future Father In Law
BF: Boyfriend
This is what you call him before he proposes.
FI: Fiance (male), Fiancee (female)
Please try to use the appropriate gender when spelling this out.
DH: Dear Husband
A nice way of saying "that guy I married who doesn't mow the lawn anymore."
DD: Dear Daughter
DS: Dear Son
-----------------------
NEY Inside Jokes-----------------------
"I act growner than what I am"Awesome quote from a lovely young lady who refused to use proper English (or anywhere near it) yet insisted that she was intelligent. She didn't like our advice.
"IT moment"
Referring to a past throw down between above-mentioned lovely young gramatically-challenged woman and the entire NEY board. If a newb enters the board and does any of the following, they will be referred to as having an "IT moment":
- Saying anything remotely resembling "I act growner than I am", "I'm mature for my age", or "y'all just don't understand me"
- Mention that you have a high school honors society sash/badge/button in your past as reference to your current intelligence level
- Use the term "haterz" in reference to anyone else on the board
- Accuse of us of being racist, simply because we don't happen to agree with you on something that has nothing to do with race
- Run to another board and complain about how mean we are
Engaugemint Chikkin: Engagement ChickenThis is a joke on the Knot. If you actually make an engagement chicken with the real hope of it making your boyfriend propose, please see the definition of BSC.
Engagement Chicken Cake:The vegetarian alternative to engagement chicken, and much much funnier. Not in any way BSC. Rumor has it that just CONSIDERING making a chicken cake will cause your boyfriend to spontaneously propose.
mojitosA delicious beverage, favored by oceana. She will often pass you a virtual mojito when you're having a bad day.
"cheap wine"Coined by jeannacorina and the favored alcoholic beverage of NEY. For more clarification, see peom below:
Oh, mojitos might be nice,
So is vodka over ice.
In college I did jell-o shots,
And daiquiris are great when it's hot.
But there's nothing I dig
More than what's in my fridge.
Yes, I like mudslides just fine
But nothing helps me unwind
Like a three-dollar bottle of wine!"surprise ice rink wedding" A sure-fire way to be labeled BSC. You plan a whole wedding on an ice rink for your BF and don't tell him about it. When he shows up, he'll (supposedly) be put on the spot so that he HAS to propose and marry you right then and there!
"
surprise icerink engagement party"
Same as "surprise ice rink wedding", only with no pastor involved.
"
engagement baby"
Unfortunately, we've had BSCers that have gotten the impression that a surefire way to get your BF to propose to you is to * accidentally * get preggers. Um, no, it doesn't - all it typically does is fractures what is often an already-screwed up relationship and puts an innocent baby in the middle of your mess. Not only will you be labeled BSC for that, but you'll have NEYers saying prayers for your future offspring.
"I agree with whatever Jeana just said"Jeana is wise, level-headed, and sometimes even witty. Agreeing with her is a sign of awesome. You'll see this quote or badge in the signatures of very awesome people.
"Team <insert name>"
On the rare occasion that a newb (or even a veteran) picks an unwarranted fight with a board veteran, you will see "Team <insert name>" photos and badges begin to pop up both in the board and in poster siggies.
"beebee tiara"
If you give the impression that you are under the age of 16, are still in high school, are incredibly niave about a marriage vs. a wedding, etc., or are just plain delusional, you will be termed a "beebee" (see
Technical Jargon). Once this designation has been made, you will be bestowed by oceana with the "beebee tiara", seen her:
As you can see, it is very pink and very pretty, and will probably coordinate with the Disney Princess wedding you have worked out for yourself in your mind.
"elope count"
Term used by engaged NEY posters, as to how many times they've become so utterly frustrated by wedding planning, dealing with vendors, bridal party drama, etc. that they've threatened to elope.
VAP: Very Awesome PersonI just made this one up.