Names Question

Calumet · April 2010

Since it has become clear to me that asking random people I know questions never yields results quite as good as asking the masses of brilliant women on this board:

To my understanding, the etiquette of listing names is before marriage woman's name is first, afterwords the man is first. So, for example, on all of my invites to engaged or serious relationship couples I wrote Ms. So and So & Mr. So and So. On invites / program I have marriage ceremony of My Name & His Name.

So the question!!! On the cover of my program I had written at the bottom of the cover: MyLastName - HisLastName Wedding, with the date underneath. Mom said normally when people write that phrase, it's "HisLastName - MyLastName Wedding"

Thoughts?

emarston1 · April 2010

It's my understanding that the bride's last name goes before the groom's and that's how I see it 99% of the time.

PsyDet 2155 · April 2010

I also think that the Bride's maiden name goes first. That's what I have seen when women use both their maiden and married.

PsyDet 2155 · April 2010

off topic but emarston- are you an MSU alum? I am

Class of 09

tenofcups4me · April 2010

The woman's name goes first before or after marriage.

emarston1 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_names-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:95c76f30-deee-45fb-92eb-72c344e372eaPost:ff3fae52-9a9f-4730-95c7-4e63e46fe0a8">Re: Names Question</a>:
[QUOTE]off topic but emarston- are you an MSU alum? I am :) Class of 09
Posted by PsyDet 2155[/QUOTE]

Yep! FI and I both graduated in 07! Go Green!

knottief7f08860652a16bf · April 2010

When you address invitations to people the man's name should be listed first. On the invitation the bride's name is listed first because traditionally the bride's family was hosting (i.e. Mr. and Mrs. John and Nancy Smith cordially invite you to the marriage of thier daughter Melissa Marie Smith to Alex Brown son of Mr. and Mrs. Carl and Margaret Brown.

So men's names traditionally come first everywhere except the bride's on the invite.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_names-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:95c76f30-deee-45fb-92eb-72c344e372eaPost:7829f779-81d2-4dca-aa10-05c14782d2c5">Re: Names Question</a>:
[QUOTE]When you address invitations to people the man's name should be listed first. On the invitation the bride's name is listed first because traditionally the bride's family was hosting (i.e. Mr. and Mrs. John and Nancy Smith cordially invite you to the marriage of thier daughter Melissa Marie Smith to Alex Brown son of Mr. and Mrs. Carl and Margaret Brown. So men's names traditionally come first everywhere except the bride's on the invite.
Posted by miss_reed6582@hotmail.com[/QUOTE]

<div>That's false. When you address invitations the woman's name also goes first, i.e. "Ms. Jane Doe and Mr. Mark Smith." Some people just list the person they know better first, but the real etiquette is "ladies first." </div><div>
</div><div>Anyway, yes, OP, you are right.</div>

knottief7f08860652a16bf · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_names-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:95c76f30-deee-45fb-92eb-72c344e372eaPost:265376f1-b76d-4733-9154-1907c72de2bf">Re: Names Question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Names Question : That's false. When you address invitations the woman's name also goes first, i.e. "Ms. Jane Doe and Mr. Mark Smith." Some people just list the person they know better first, but the real etiquette is "ladies first." Anyway, yes, OP, you are right.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

<div>Actually, it's true. Check the examples on the knot's etiquette pages, Martha Stewart's website, or the Miss Manners column. All three confirm: man's name is traditionally listed first. "Ladies first" is a rule of thumb for walking through doorways and the like.</div>

fangsiting · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_names-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:95c76f30-deee-45fb-92eb-72c344e372eaPost:e87c622e-0bab-4fb0-90fa-ab17a9fc074d">Re: Names Question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Names Question : Actually, it's true. Check the examples on the knot's etiquette pages, Martha Stewart's website, or the Miss Manners column. All three confirm: man's name is traditionally listed first. "Ladies first" is a rule of thumb for walking through doorways and the like.
Posted by miss_reed6582@hotmail.com[/QUOTE]

This Martha Stewart?

<a href="http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-questions/wedding-invitation-questions/qa/invitations-with-different-last-names.aspx" target="_blank">http://www.marthastewartweddings.com/article/addressing-and-mailing-invitations?page=3</a>
<p><span class="subhead-level2">"Different Last Names</span>
<span style="color:black;">When a husband and wife have different last names, the wife's name is traditionally written first. Connecting the couple's names by the word "and" implies marriage. For an unmarried couple that lives together, names should be written on separate lines without the word "and." On the inner envelope, both are addressed by their titles and respective last names."</span></p>
<p> </p>

squirrly · April 2010

Yeah. . . it's ladies first, whether through a doorway or on paper. The only time the man comes first is "Mr. and Mrs.". If you are doing separate names, it's Ms. Jane Smith and Mr. John Doe. Whether they're married or not.

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