Hello! Something that is on my mind a lot is our guest list. It's a little bit complicated and stressful so I wanted to see if anyone wouldn't mind giving me some advice and opinions.
What I really want (and my fiance even moreso!) is a very small, intimate wedding. We both agree that we want our wedding to be family only and not invite any of our friends or co-workers.
My fiance only wants to invite his immediate family on his side- his mom, dad, sister, sister's boyfriend, and step-sister. In addition to my immediate family, I can't imagine not inviting my two grandmothers who mean the world to me! I'd love to just leave it there but it feels SO WRONG to not invite my Aunt who lives with my grandma. I love this aunt and it would be so awkward to not have her there with my grandma. And I do want her there.
But then I feel like I should also invite my other aunts & uncles since I would be inviting her. I have four other sets of aunt and uncles other than her. And two of these aunts and uncles have two adult kids each (my cousins) so I'm not sure that I could not invite them if I'm inviting their parents. As well, that first aunt that I mentioned has two adult kids (my two cousins) so I feel that I may need to invite them as well. And all of their dates? Plus, one of my cousins has kids in their late teens so maybe I need to invite them as well, and their dates? This original aunt that I mentioned also has a boyfriend that I wonder if I need to invite?
So how do I feel about these people? Well, I love them. They're my family. The main reasons that we want a small, intimate wedding is because we love the simplicity, low-budget, and low-stress plus the strong intimacy and how it will feel like the wedding is more about the two of us than other people. Although I love these family members I am not very close with them and don't see them very often. I feel like after the wedding we'd go back to rarely seeing each other while I am leaving close friends out of the wedding to invite these less close people- and possibly their dates who I don't know at all!
I mainly stress about this on these levels:
1.) I feel like I should over-invite rather than under-invite. I don't want to be stressed out about being rude or upsetting people. It would be easier to just invite everyone and that's just how it is.
2.) It makes me confused to figure out where I can appropriately draw the line and where I can't. Should I invite my cousins but not have them bring dates?
One idea that I have is to invite just our 'immediate families and my grandmothers' and tell that to people so hopefully they understand why they were not invited because we want a really intimate wedding and have that one aunt come because she lives with my grandma and my grandma is elderly so she is coming as my grandmother's guest. That way I could have her there without having to invite all of my other aunts and uncles? Or should I just invite everyone? And what about dates? I know that I wouldn't like to be invited to a wedding and not be allowed to bring a date- but then we're going to have so many strangers at our wedding and no close friends. Ack! Although part of me believes that most of them will probably decline the invite since they are busy and not local?
It's so hard! My fiance wants me to figure out who I really want there. He is happy with whatever I figure out. He prefers small. After all, he's only having his immediate family and that is it- but his extended family is completely out of touch with him whereas mine come around for some holidays, weddings, get-togethers, etc.
Anyone who takes the time to read this and give me their opinion is awesome and appreciated! Thank you in advance!