$10,000

Juxtaposition00 · July 2010

The will leaves it to his parents. However, they were asked/told to give it to the grandkids when they got old enough. It seems as though she really didn't want to go through the process of setting up a trust or anything.

goheels05 · July 2010

I'm going to go against the grain here, and my opinion is heavily influenced by my personal experience, but I don't see the problem with him buying the car. Sorry for the novel, but to paraphrase, he's not likely to get a very reliable car for $5,000 like some are suggesting, he'd be much better off spending $8K-$10K and getting something that will last. You can't get a new car for that price, and the interest rate on used cars is incredibly high, so it would be silly to finance and try to make money of the inheritance at the bank.

Not having reliable transportation is frightening. I've been in his shoes. When I got my license, my parents put me in a 79 Ford Fairmont. It was horrible. The engine overheated all the time and left me stranded. The defogger didn't work so I had to wipe the windows while driving so I could see. It took me half the length of a football field to stop. I never drove my friends anywhere because I was afraid it would break down and they'd be stranded with me. I couldn't drive more than 15 miles away from my house.

As soon as I turned 18, I literally walked to the nearest car dealership with my waitressing money and bought a 93 Nissan Sentra that already had 150K miles on it, but it was all I could afford to pay cash for. After 4 years of college, it was toast, too. I did all the proper maintenance on it but I was constantly breaking down and getting stranded.

I had to make the Sentra last me through grad school, so I lived next to campus and walked everywhere. I only used the car to drive an hour home occasionally. In fact, I even borrowed a car to drive to the CPA exam, just in case. As soon as I had my signing bonus and job offer letter in hand, I went car shopping and spent about what Jux's talking about her FI spending (although I had to finance because I had spent every last dime putting myself through grad school). I haven't been stranded by the side of the road since, and I can't tell you what a relief that is. I couldn't possibly put a price on that piece of mind, but if I had to, I'd pay at least $10K for it.

My brother got stuck with my old Fairmont and after 4 years of breaking down on his way to and from college, he spent like $2000 on a 10 year old Focus. And guess what, it breaks down all the time, too. I don't understand why anyone would do that to themselves.

mica178 · July 2010

Meh. The money is in his parents' hands legally probably because your FI's grandmother recognized that young people have little concept of money and investing.

I have a lot of friends in similar situations. There's money, but it can only be applied to higher education or buying a home. Again, he who pays, says. And right now, your FILs hold the purse strings.

The best way for his 10k to grow in value is to not touch the principal OR the interest from it. But definitely not the principal. Maybe if your FI asked about just taking out some of the interest and had a specific plan (make/model/year of specific car in mind), his parents might be more compelled.

Simply Fated · July 2010

I agree with goheels. A new car can be a better investment in the long run.

My friends always buy used cars that last them a couple of years, tops. They end up putting more money into it than they initially paid for. It's just not worth it.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · July 2010

When I inherited money as a minor there were a lot of legal hoops I had to jump through. My parents just didn't keep it in their savings account until I wanted it. (It was in a surrogate's account and I needed my signature (from age 14 on) and my parents signature and an "educational reason" to withdraw money. Once I turned 18, I had full responsibility for it. So that seems weird in general. I know it was left to his parents with the verbal promise of giving it to him, but this is why that's a bad idea.

My thoughts are that they don't have it right now. But I also agree that I don't know that a car is a good thing to spend an inheritance on. I mean, that's something people buy on their own a lot. He can even get a newer used car. I'd probably do something with it that wouldn't lose value. In a few years, the car will be gone, and he won't have anything to show for it.

parker624 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_10000?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a76ba843-32f4-4996-a44f-0e9f130a1569Post:3309d78a-3393-4be2-b95a-feda5a3d646d">Re: $10,000</a>:
[QUOTE]But I have to agree...he should not be using the 10K for a car. DH received 10k from his family & put it right in a CD. In less then 3 yrs it has earned $3,000 thus far.
Posted by *BeachBride0410*[/QUOTE]

you're getting a great rate on your cd! Where do you have it invested?

Calypso1977 · July 2010

or they paid for his health and auto insurance until recently because couldn't afford any on his own

maybe its a bigger picture than what we are getting here? i mean, this guy is presumably about to be married, and he cant pay basics like health care and auto insurance? yes, you dont need to have money to get married or be married, and times are certainly hard everywhere. maybe his parents have bailed him out on stuff in the past, and simply dont want to do it anymore? maybe they also feel that too much money is being spent on e-ring, wedding, etc. and they think that his car should take priority? i say this only because you mentioned yoru FI wants to pay for 1/2 of the wedding. no clue what your wedding budget is, but let's say its $10K - so half for him would be $5k - the $5k he's looking for from his parents for the car. without knowing the financial history here between your FI and his folks, tehy could very well be at a point wehre enough is enough.

Juxtaposition00 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_10000?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a76ba843-32f4-4996-a44f-0e9f130a1569Post:027b5ce5-3e8d-4c70-ba77-5c6c59736044">Re: $10,000</a>:
[QUOTE]or they paid for his health and auto insurance until recently because couldn't afford any on his own maybe its a bigger picture than what we are getting here? i mean, this guy is presumably about to be married, and he cant pay basics like health care and auto insurance? yes, you dont need to have money to get married or be married, and times are certainly hard everywhere. maybe his parents have bailed him out on stuff in the past, and simply dont want to do it anymore? maybe they also feel that too much money is being spent on e-ring, wedding, etc. and they think that his car should take priority? i say this only because you mentioned yoru FI wants to pay for 1/2 of the wedding. no clue what your wedding budget is, but let's say its $10K - so half for him would be $5k - the $5k he's looking for from his parents for the car. without knowing the financial history here between your FI and his folks, tehy could very well be at a point wehre enough is enough.
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

They definitely aren't at the point where enough is enough. We are still youngish (I'm 23 and he is 25). He just got out of college a bit over a year ago. They did pay for all of that, as they had done with all of his siblings. He still works in retail cause he got a degree in a (stupid, shh! don't tell) area that he can't do much with. My ring was probably cheaper than most (I got a pearl, which I'm in love with, with side diamonds) and his folks are super proud of him taking responsibility and not letting me pay for everything.

Still not arguing, but you sounded like you wanted more info, so there it is.

NuggetBrain · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_10000?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a76ba843-32f4-4996-a44f-0e9f130a1569Post:97956b61-23b6-4661-b8c8-9fb62adfeff4">Re: $10,000</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: $10,000 : Really? He should sue his parents for inheritance money for a car? Ooookay then.
Posted by AmoroAgain[/QUOTE]

He should sue it because it's his money. It doesn't matter if he wants to go burn it in a big fire on the front lawn, it's legally HIS money and them withholding it is more than likely against the law. Unless there was a particular age that Grandma included in her will, 18 is the default legal adult age and they have no legal right to hang onto that money anymore.

ETA - I'm confused now, is it his money or not OP? What exactly does the will say regarding this money? Is there a particular age or just "old enough"?

vsgal · July 2010

From what I am understanding, it is NOT his money. His grandmother left it to the parents. Now what was or was not said in private conversations is not relevant. Legally, the money was left to mom and dad. If they choose to give it away to their kids, then that is their choice. Just because money was given to the other siblings does not mean it will be given to him. We have no idea what the circumstances were behind the gifting of money to the other kids. It may not even be related to the inheritance. Maybe it is just mom and dad helping out when they could. He can't sue to get the money, because legally, it is not his. There is no paperwork to support the private conversations. The only place the money would go if there is a lawsuit is to the lawyers.

Juxtaposition00 · July 2010

Again just for those who are catching up:

1. Legally: not his, fully willed to his parents.
2. Was discussed between his grandma and his parents and him/his siblings that the money was theirs when they grew up and were responsible to handle it.
3. Even if we had a reason, we would NEVER sue them.
4. The other three children got it already, but they are all older. (currently: 36,32,27, he is 25)
5. Two used it for a house, don't know what the third used it for.
6. He didn't ask for all 10k, just a part of it.
7. He hasn't been completely irresponsible with money before, but probably would have when he was younger if given the chance.

I think I have recapped a bunch of it...

mica178 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_10000?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a76ba843-32f4-4996-a44f-0e9f130a1569Post:81d1ca95-554f-4b56-9ff5-60fa1e70f42a">Re: $10,000</a>:
[QUOTE]From what I am understanding, it is NOT his money. His grandmother left it to the parents. Now what was or was not said in private conversations is not relevant. Legally, the money was left to mom and dad. If they choose to give it away to their kids, then that is their choice. Just because money was given to the other siblings does not mean it will be given to him. We have no idea what the circumstances were behind the gifting of money to the other kids. It may not even be related to the inheritance. Maybe it is just mom and dad helping out when they could. He can't sue to get the money, because legally, it is not his. There is no paperwork to support the private conversations. The only place the money would go if there is a lawsuit is to the lawyers.
Posted by vsgal[/QUOTE]

This.

Also, you mentioned that your FILs paid for his insurance for years. A good chunk of his "inheritance" might have already been used for that, and now his parents might want to leave the rest for something a little more permanent than a used car.

smokeybailey · July 2010

This doesn't make sense. Why would the grandparents not leave it in a trust that matured when he turned 18 instead of giving it to his parents to dole out on his behalf?

Honestly, if my g-ma left me $10K and I wanted to use it to go on a trip around the world, my parents would give it to me. It's my money to use accordingly.

If I had a shitty car like in this case and had $10k to spend then it makes sense to buy a new one. You certainly are not earning that much interest on $10K sitting in a CD as compared to either financing a new/used car or spending money on the upkeep of a clunker. $10k can be burned up really quickly keeping an older car running.

I don't have any advice because there are no legal repercussions as the money wasn't given to him and if dad doesn't want to give it, then he doesn't have to. It's a d!ck move (IMO) but it's his move to make.

NuggetBrain · July 2010

I take it back then, Grandma kind of screwed the pooch in not leaving it to a trust or spelling out in the will the parents needed to hand it over at X age. I'm with Smokey though, I think the dad is kind of a jerk for not giving the guy the money like Grandma wanted him too. Unless she said it was for something in particular, like a house or education or whatever.

Calypso1977 · July 2010

i know many of your FI's parents' generation that would give the line of "when i was 23 or 25, i already had a mortgage and a baby on the way", meaning, its time to be an adult and pay your own bills. so it could very well be, that if the prescribe to that thought process, that enough is enough.

parents are obligated to financially support their kids until the age of 18. anything after that (including college) is a gift, a privlege. not an entitlement or a right.

i'm nto saying your FI feels entitled to any of this, but it could very well be that at his age, his parents think he should be at a more mature place in life, financially speaking.

goheels05 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_10000?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a76ba843-32f4-4996-a44f-0e9f130a1569Post:76185c5f-9943-4580-85e7-1986e312503e">Re: $10,000</a>:
[QUOTE]If I had a shitty car like in this case and had $10k to spend then it makes sense to buy a new one. You certainly are not earning that much interest on $10K sitting in a CD as compared to either financing a new/used car or spending money on the upkeep of a clunker. $10k can be burned up really quickly keeping an older car running.
Posted by smokeybailey[/QUOTE]

Ahhhh you said it much better and more concisely than me. I need to work on that.

I'm not surprised there was no trust set up and the will didn't specify. Those legalities cost money to set up, and while to me it is worth it and necessary, some people just see it as less money going to their family when they die because it's going to lawyers and CPAs. Plus one generally trusts their own children to do what they ask of them on their deathbed.

Now my whole family is BSC and there is no way anyone should give money to my father and trust him to give it to me. But it's been done. But a lot of people trust their families to carry out their final wishes.

ExpatPumpkin · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_10000?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a76ba843-32f4-4996-a44f-0e9f130a1569Post:3309d78a-3393-4be2-b95a-feda5a3d646d">Re: $10,000</a>:
[QUOTE]But I have to agree...he should not be using the 10K for a car. DH received 10k from his family & put it right in a CD. In less then 3 yrs it has earned $3,000 thus far.
Posted by *BeachBride0410*[/QUOTE]

Where did he find a CD paying those rates? That's REALLY high.

smokeybailey · July 2010

To earn $3000 on $10,000 your interest rate has to be 8.85% compounded monthly in a 36 month CD.

Where on earth does one find this!?

Calypso1977 · July 2010

maybe it isnt a CD, but rather some type of mutual fund. rates havent been in the 8's on CDs since probably the 80's or the clinton years.

$10,000

Re: $10,000

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