butterflies and other ceremony exit ideas

sparkles2010 · May 2010

Has anyone used butterflies or been to a wedding where butterflies were released after the ceremony? I'm considering this - just wanted to see your thoughts! What did you use/using?

smw42 · May 2010

Our priest very specifically advised us to not release any butterflies or doves. He said they cause many more problems than they're worth. Also, when you use butterflies a large percentage of them die in transport and often do not fly out of the container/box like they're supposed to. I feel pretty strongly against it but that's just my two cents.

mscutieri · May 2010

Um, I am the biggest butterfly fan you could ever know -- my FI has bough me butterfly jewelry and even let me pick our china with a butterfly design.

That said, I am also a high school environmental teacher. Knowing what I know about their migration patterns, releasing butterflies in this manner severly damages their lifestyle and instincts. They will likely die shortly after you relase them because they will not be in the proper climate needed for their survival. I cannot convince you NOT to do this, it is your decision. What I can do is to tell you that if you love butterflies as much as I do, you wouldn't consider doing this.

Ok, my teacher lesson is over.

peaches85 · May 2010

Agree with the above posts 100%. Don't do it.

sparkles2010 · May 2010

I LOVE butterflies and I do think all your concerns are very compelling. Now I'll just have to convince my mom (who is insisting on having a butterfly release) to let it go. We originally wanted to do a dove release but my FMIL was saying there is a chance the birds will "release" on our dresses. LOL. Maybe that was her way of saying she doesn't like the idea.

Laurms15 · May 2010

I agree w/ PP there are too many of them that won't live. I saw them release butterflies on the frangillo catering/wedding show on TLC (someone may know what its called) and a lot of them didn't fly it was SO sad.

peaches85 · May 2010

Not for nothing, but why the need to include animals in your wedding at all? To me, the dove and butterfly releases are just as bad as the fish in the centerpieces.

What about good old clapping and cheering as you leave the ceremony?

Laurms15 · May 2010

Oh and as for what we used, we did ribbon wands. I made them in silver, purple and green and I know lots of people think they are cheesey but the pics came out really pretty and I was bored by bubbles because so many others had done it. We weren;t allowed to throw anything like bird seed, flowers, or anything like that. So thats how I ended up with them.

smw42 · May 2010

Tell your mother you'd rather have everyone paying attention to you and your gown than all your dead butterflies that are stuck in the box.

jaimelody · May 2010

Aw Mishie. That's really sad! You really are a big butterfly fan!

They released butterflies at FI's moms funeral and it was very sad and that's what it would remind me of if they released butterflies at a wedding.

chrissy31805 · May 2010

i knew a couple who did the butterfly release and the same thing happened. a few of them were left in the cage because they died in transport. plus some of them really didn't "fly" like you would think. it was a little exit out of their cages

laurms15- do you have pics of the ribbon wands?

mbcdefg · May 2010

We didn't wind up doing anything, but for a while I wanted to do these: http://www.projectwedding.com/post/list/my-yay-flags

I also considered fresh rose petals. People just clapped when we came outside, though, and some rang little bells that my mom had provided for when we were walking back up the church aisle (apparently it's an Irish tradition).

Glad to hear that you decided against the butterflies and birds.

cvl105 · May 2010

we did bubbles.

I don't like the idea of using animals.

leah2b · May 2010

I also recall reading an article about dove releases and how many of the birds die after release. Knowing this, I don't think I could watch a dove release or a butterfly release and see it as beautiful. I like some of the other options mentioned above. Maybe fill cones with rose petals and have the guests throw them as you walk down the aisle. I love the pics where I have seen this done.

kewltif · May 2010

I did bubbles. At first I was against this because I thought it was SO overdone but like a week or two before my wedding I caved and went and bought bubbles. The day of every last bubble container was taken and people who didn't get them were looking for them. They wound up being some of my favorite pictures.

In the end I realized that you don't always have to recreate the wheel.

DMLJ · May 2010

nothing wrong with good old bubbles.... I would't know what to do with butterflies- especially if mine was dead. That is just sad. I also have an irrational fear of birds, so a dove release would make me crazy.

AnnPH424 · May 2010

I went to a wedding where the doves were used, they were actually white homing pigeons that could find their way back to the coop from anywhere...weird but it was cute. Not something I would pick though. I also read somewhere that butterflies are attracted to the color white, not sure if that is true but since you'll be wearing white I wouldn't try it.

Since it's going to be dark when we are leaving church I was thinking of doing sparklers, not sure if the church will allow it though.

katherinej · May 2010

Im on the same page as you sparkles...Im thinking of doing a dove release, did some research on it and the two places that I found that are available around north jersey both said that the doves find their way back home, so that makes me feel better. I think the release might be more memorable to your guests

smw42 · May 2010

Of course the place that sells the doves is goign to tell you they find their way back home and the doves aren't injured, etc etc- they want you to hire them!

jchristel · May 2010

I have heard terrible stories that the doves don't find their way "home" and since they are domesticated, can't fend for themselves and just die. I think involving living things and putting them at risk is a terrible idea.

jessdep08 · May 2010

My FSIL had doves (or white homing pigeons, whatever you want to call them!) at her wedding. She said they kind of flew at her when she released them and she has a funny picture of her jumping back with her arms up (I'm short and I was standing farther away, so I don't really remember this). My FMIL said she wouldn't get the doves if she could do it over--not that it affected the wedding in any way, but she said they weren't worth the hassle.

I was looking into butterflies for my wedding, which my FSIL had also looked into before getting doves. She said there is a lot of preparation involved (keeping them at a certain temperature, etc) and it seemed too confusing to deal with amidst everything else going on that day. I would love to have butterflies--I think it could be really beautiful--but I'm afraid it will just be extra stress and that they might die or not actually fly when we release them. We'll probably just end up doing bubbles--they're simple, inexpensive, and look really beautiful in photos.

peaches85 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_butterflies-other-ceremony-exit-ideas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:3c1ca1e7-4ed5-456b-89ae-3fbefbabda63Post:857f8be2-c202-4dd5-9fbb-b7c54afef4f9">Re: butterflies and other ceremony exit ideas</a>:
[QUOTE]Im on the same page as you sparkles...Im thinking of doing a dove release, did some research on it and the two places that I found that are available around north jersey both said that the doves find their way back home, so that makes me feel better. I think the release might be more memorable to your guests
Posted by katherinej[/QUOTE]
Ummm HELLO!!! Of COURSE they would say that!! Please tell me you're not that gullible.

Once again, I repeat... Why the need to include animals at your wedding?! Just for the sake of "nice" pictures?! Good god... give me a break!

AliandDan2010 · May 2010

It's definitely a matter of preferance I suppose but I too must agree that I against releasing insects or birds at the wedding. I appreciate all the "it's not right" replies and I agree 100% with all of them... but think of this.

Dove: Takes a crap on the MOH (or worse your head) upon release- that's good luck no one wants on the wedding day. Just saying.

Butterflies: swarm the crowd of wedding gathers and the photographer captures people shooing them away, wait actually that would be a great picture. Too many innocent BF's could be hurt.

In short, we're doing bubbles.

uppereastgirl · May 2010

I would be extremely angry and sad if I was ever invited to a wedding where an animal was harmed for our entertainment/a photo op. I would imagine at least some of your guests would feel that way too.

Of course the places tell you the doves find their way back home -- they want you to buy their "product." If they cared about animals, they wouldn't be in that business.

Please please please please please do not release butterflies/doves/etc or put fish in your centerpieces. It isn't pretty and fun -- it is cruel.

If you do go forward with it, can you please let us know the date and location of the church? If I'm free that day maybe I'll come protest... And in the meantime I'll be using all my wishes towards the hope that any of you dove brides who actually go through with it end up with bird sh-t in your hair/on your dresses.

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