Relationships Poll

KateJ10 · July 2012

Bonus points for explaining your answers. ( I took this as a S/O of GBCN posts) and yes, I know these are somewhat controversial questions, just have some fun with it and answer what you want.

Who has more power in your relationship?

Which one of you married/dated up?

Who is the better spouse/partner?

If you could change one thing about your relationship, what would it be?

Your favorite thing about your relationship?

ErinG93 · July 2012

Who has more power in your relationship?

That's tough. I like to pretend/act like I do and be bossy, but I think maybe my H has more real power. I guess it depends on how you look at it. I'll say, "Hey could you do the dishes today?" and he'll do them. But, if we're talking big stuff, I tend to trust his judgment over mine.

Which one of you married/dated up?
Me. Absolutely.

Who is the better spouse/partner?

My H. He puts up with a lot of my over bearing personality and health problems.

If you could change one thing about your relationship, what would it be?

H getting a different job.

Your favorite thing about your relationship?

We laugh all the time. We have fun together.

Blueyed228 · July 2012

Who has more power in your relationship?
H does.

Which one of you married/dated up?
I think he did as far as getting a great girl. But financially I married way up.

Who is the better spouse/partner?
Duh, me

If you could change one thing about your relationship, what would it be?
That we could communicate better when we are upset.

Your favorite thing about your relationship?
we laugh a lot.

Matty143 · July 2012

Who has more power in your relationship? On the big stuff like finances, H does. I can be persuasive though.

Which one of you married/dated up? lol. We each say that the other did. I would freely admit that I picked a winner and he would say he didn't do too bad either.

Who is the better spouse/partner? H is. But I try to be the best partner that I can. Every day.
He is just more patient, more understanding and more easygoing.

If you could change one thing about your relationship, what would it be? Very minor, but sometimes I wish H was a little more affectionate, like OK with a small amount of PDA. He can be shy.

Your favorite thing about your relationship? We have so much fun. Wherever we are, whatever were doing.

Smash Adams · July 2012

I feel weird doing this for a relationship of uhh... 5ish months but whatevs.

Who has more power in your relationship? I probably do, but we've not quite figured that out yet. It's pretty evenly balanced.

Which one of you married/dated up? He makes more $$ than I do, has more education than I do, and more life experience than I do. But I'm cooler and funnier. So.

Who is the better spouse/partner? Him, but he has more practice at it so it's sort of unfair.

If you could change one thing about your relationship, what would it be? All the excess baggage on both sides.

Your favorite thing about your relationship? Very similar senses of humor, and I learn a lot of shiiit that I wouldn't have otherwise figured out on my own because his interests are different than mine.

katiewhompus · July 2012

Who has more power in your relationship? About equal for most things. When it comes to Dd though I feel I do, simply because I do more research on what she needs.

Which one of you married/dated up? Neither, although H jokes that he totally married up (he is 10 years older than me)

Who is the better spouse/partner? It depends. Pre-baby I would say him. He did most of the cleaning/cooking and was great at talking through problems and making us stronger. Post-baby, well, I want that man back.

If you could change one thing about your relationship, what would it be? I wish we were both slightly more open to conflict. Neither of us likes it and so we tend to hold things in until it blows up.

Your favorite thing about your relationship? It is so strong. We have moments yes, and we definitely are out of the honeymoon, but quitting isn't an option for either one of us. I think we have handled the constant changes and challenges life has thrown pretty well.

ErinG93 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_relationships-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:509ef2d8-3117-47ba-bacc-2e289d267ca2Post:fe56b6b8-73e8-4201-9e4c-4896e2934f03">Re: Relationships Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]Who has more power in your relationship? H does. Which one of you married/dated up?<strong> I think he did as far as getting a great girl. But financially I married way up.</strong> Who is the better spouse/partner? Duh, me If you could change one thing about your relationship, what would it be? That we could communicate better when we are upset. Your favorite thing about your relationship? we laugh a lot.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>This is what I meant. I think personality wise my H did great, but financially my H blows me out of the water.

</div>

Blueyed228 · July 2012

This may be flameful, but if we are being honest here, I like being in the "traditional" type of relationship where H makes the money and takes care of all the bills and stuff. I cant wait to be a SAHM. I know its not for everyone, and that im capable of doing anything I want, but i really enjoy that we are both old fashioned in that sense.

KateJ10 · July 2012

Who has more power in your relationship? I do, but I do typically let him have his way on bigger decisions.

Which one of you married/dated up? I think he did. It took me quite a while to develop feelings for him, and I have it together and was doing better financially than him.

Who is the better spouse/partner? He is. Seriously awesome.

If you could change one thing about your relationship, what would it be? I wish we did more out of the house together (like dinners out, dates, what have you.)

Your favorite thing about your relationship? We don't get into big, stressful arguments anymore- we get along so well.

Matty143 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_relationships-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:509ef2d8-3117-47ba-bacc-2e289d267ca2Post:07410eb1-5302-468b-a89d-15134a09a558">Re: Relationships Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]This may be flameful, but if we are being honest here, I like being in the "traditional" type of relationship where H makes the money and takes care of all the bills and stuff. I cant wait to be a SAHM. I know its not for everyone, and that im capable of doing anything I want, but i really enjoy that we are both old fashioned in that sense.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

I 100% agree.
I have a "career" now and I cant wait to quit and stay home and learn how to make pies.

cheeseandrice · July 2012

Who has more power in your relationship? depends on the topic. We do tend to fall into a lot of the gender sterotypical roles, I think. If I'm being honest, I probably have more 'power', but I only say that because I'm in charge of all the finances. (At H's request though. We agreed on it.) He just doesn't care a lot about small decisions. I'm more interested/more likely to do a lot of research on things, so he trusts me- but we talk through everything.

Which one of you married/dated up? I think we're equal, especially financially. We make exactly the same, and have almost the exact same debt. (But we met when we were 18.)

Who is the better spouse/partner? H, especially lately. I've been pretty much worthless, to be honest.

If you could change one thing about your relationship, what would it be? Less debt. Neither of us were super smart in college with money, and the debt we have now causes a lot of stress for us. We can totally manage it. That or H getting a new job, because he's miserable where he is now, and I hate that I can't 'fix' it.

Your favorite thing about your relationship? The comfort. We've been together for 8 years through a lot of hard crap and a lot of growing up. We're best friends.

cheeseandrice · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_relationships-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:509ef2d8-3117-47ba-bacc-2e289d267ca2Post:07410eb1-5302-468b-a89d-15134a09a558">Re: Relationships Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]This may be flameful, but if we are being honest here, I like being in the "traditional" type of relationship where H makes the money and takes care of all the bills and stuff. I cant wait to be a SAHM. I know its not for everyone, and that im capable of doing anything I want, but i really enjoy that we are both old fashioned in that sense.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

This isn't at all flameful for me, as long as you both agree on it. I'm jealous in a way. Part of me would love to relinquish all control to H, but the other part of me knows I'm way too damn independent for it.

lindseyann410 · July 2012

Who has more power in your relationship?

He used to, at the beginning. Once he became more vested in the relationship, I would say that I have the power. I know that he'd do anything for me and completely trusts my judgment. I'd say that while we talk about all major decisions together, he usually lets me have the final call.

Which one of you married/dated up?

I'd say we're equal or pretty darn close in almost every way. We are both pretty smart, we come from relatively similar economic backgrounds, and I'd even say we are even on the attractiveness scale.

Who is the better spouse/partner?

I think we both have flaws. I'm not that great of a listener, and he doesn't often think of doing some things on it's own.

If you could change one thing about your relationship, what would it be? Your favorite thing about your relationship?

I wish we had a bit more sizzle, but I'd rather have the 100% trust and silliness and laughter that we have. I'm hoping that's more long-term!

KateJ10 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_relationships-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:509ef2d8-3117-47ba-bacc-2e289d267ca2Post:07410eb1-5302-468b-a89d-15134a09a558">Re: Relationships Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]This may be flameful, but if we are being honest here, I like being in the "traditional" type of relationship where H makes the money and takes care of all the bills and stuff. I cant wait to be a SAHM. I know its not for everyone, and that im capable of doing anything I want, but i really enjoy that we are both old fashioned in that sense.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

I don't think that's flameful, and it is great to be on the same page as your partner on what type of relationship you want. Also- I wish I could be a SAHW. Not even a SAHM. I hate working. But we don't have that financial security to do so.

NicoleSahara · July 2012

Who has more power in your relationship? I do, but overall it's pretty balanced.

Which one of you married/dated up? I think I married up in the looks department, but overall personality, H probably did.

Who is the better spouse/partner? I am.

If you could change one thing about your relationship, what would it be? H isn't as affectionate as I'd like. I've been trying to point this out, but when you have to say "Kiss me! Cuddle! Pretend that you really like me!" it kind of ruins it. He doesn't seem to get it.

Your favorite thing about your relationship? Hmm...I'm kind of blah about things right now so I can't really think of a favorite thing at the moment. Sad!

Blueyed228 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_relationships-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:509ef2d8-3117-47ba-bacc-2e289d267ca2Post:c2b3637d-e1ea-42e2-8071-ca50f6e392ca">Re: Relationships Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Relationships Poll : I don't think that's flameful, and it is great to be on the same page as your partner on what type of relationship you want. Also- I wish I could be a SAHW. Not even a SAHM. I hate working. But we don't have that financial security to do so.
Posted by KateJ10[/QUOTE]

Im down to 1 shift a week at the rest because H told me to take the summer off and relax after all the stuff Ive been through. I enjoy it more than I would like to admit. Im a little spoiled in a sense, but its not like he is telling me im not allowed to work or that i need to stay home and have dinner on the table at 5, its more that he is ok with whatever i want to do. I like to work, and the weeks that Im bored, I pick up a shift here and there.

He also lets me d!ck around with school. I take classes for fun and they are not cheap. He knows that I like it so he doesnt have an issue with it.

LiLe422 · July 2012

Who has more power in your relationship?
I like to think its me. Its by no means "my way or the highway" but I typically call the shots.
Which one of you married/dated up?
He makes A LOT more money than I do but I have more formal education. Go figure...
Who is the better spouse/partner?
Not to get all mushy but he is an incredible partner. I must admit im not so bad myself!
If you could change one thing about your relationship, what would it be?
When we get mad at each other or there's an issue in our relationship we tend to sweep it under the rug rather than hash it out. We know we do this and we have tried to fix it (for 10 years) but I think that's just the way its gonna be.
Your favorite thing about your relationship?
We are so alike in every way. We are typically on the same page with most things, so that really helps our relationship as a whole.

KateJ10 · July 2012

H and I used to be terrible to each other during fights when we were dating. I think we have since settled a lot of the issues- usually an argument it just involves ignoring each other until we have both calmed down.

crfische · July 2012

Who has more power in your relationship?

Oh...I think I do. I think he would tell you that, too. When I got this new job, one of my employees who is friends with Scott said, DUDE! YOUR WIFE IS MY BOSS!! And his response was SHE'S MINE TOOOO!!!

Which one of you married/dated up?

I don't really like to look at it like that, I think he would say he married up, but as far as the kind of person he is, I win. He is the most wonderful human being on the planet. True story.

Who is the better spouse/partner?

He is. Hands down. I'm a horrible wife.

If you could change one thing about your relationship, what would it be?

He works a lot, so I would maybe just wish he worked less.

Your favorite thing about your relationship?

That we are always ourselves with each other, we are understanding, we don't hold grudges, we trust each other, and that we're fucking awesome.

LiLe422 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_relationships-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:509ef2d8-3117-47ba-bacc-2e289d267ca2Post:8adfaa80-93ec-4742-8324-e96307d2bafb">Re: Relationships Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Relationships Poll : Im down to 1 shift a week at the rest because <strong>H told me to take the summer off and relax after all the stuff Ive been through. I enjoy it more than I would like to admit. Im a little spoiled in a sense, but its not like he is telling me im not allowed to work or that i need to stay home and have dinner on the table at 5, its more that he is ok with whatever i want to do.</strong> I like to work, and the weeks that Im bored, I pick up a shift here and there. He also lets me d!ck around with school. I take classes for fun and they are not cheap. He knows that I like it so he doesnt have an issue with it.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

HUGE difference between the two. If you are both on the same page on what you want out of life go for it. I envy your ability to take time off!

cheeseandrice · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_relationships-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:509ef2d8-3117-47ba-bacc-2e289d267ca2Post:85ecec64-523b-4ed1-8893-a925cab86b9e">Re: Relationships Poll</a>:
[QUOTE] that we're fucking awesome.
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

This is kind of true. It's a little sickening actually.

acaponi87 · July 2012

Who has more power in your relationship?
H does. He makes much more money than I do and I have a higher sex drive than him. Damn, there goes my sex-power.

Which one of you married/dated up?
Hmm I think we are pretty equal. We're both good-looking (maybe I beat him a little) & very intelligent. But he is cooler than me, makes more money and has 2 more degrees than me. But I'm awesome so there's that.

Who is the better spouse/partner?
My initial response was me, no doubt. Though upon thinking about it, H takes incredibly good care of me in all aspects. I still think me though haha.

If you could change one thing about your relationship, what would it be?
I wish we could sync up with sex more. He likes it in the afternoon when I want to be napping and I like it at night when he's tired. Boo.

Your favorite thing about your relationship?
I have never felt younger than since I've been with H. We play all the time and can make anything fun.

crfische · July 2012

Blue, I'm just seeing your sig. I had no idea all the shiiit you've gone through. Hugs to you, friend!

DodgersBride · July 2012

Who has more power in your relationship?
FI. He is frankly more knows more about most things than I do.

Which one of you married/dated up?
FI is really passive and really nice and I think people can take advantage of him. So I think as far as finding someone to balance him out he marrying up. Financially I dated/marrying way up.

Who is the better spouse/partner?
I think we each have certain things we are better at than the other. So equal in different departments.

If you could change one thing about your relationship, what would it be?
The way we communicate when we are arguing. I tend to say what I want and stop and he doesn't get to say much.

Your favorite thing about your relationship?
We are for the most part opposite and I think that makes us great together. We balance each other out.

AdeleDazeem · July 2012

Who has more power in your relationship? Me at times; him at times. We both like to think we're in control so it's really about who gives in to who first.

Which one of you married/dated up? He'll tell you that it was him, but I think we're both really equal. We come from similar families, have similar drive in careers and life. I do think I challenge him to dream big, though... god knows I dream big!

Who is the better spouse/partner? Him. HANDS DOWN. I lived alone for so long and can be so irritable and independent about things. He's unfailingly patient with me.

If you could change one thing about your relationship, what would it be? Nothing at this point in time. Ask me again in a year :-)

Your favorite thing about your relationship? Comfort. He's my home.

crfische · July 2012

AW, SHUCKS, STEPH.

We love you guys, too.

shaydenise · July 2012

Who has more power in your relationship? I probably do, but we're pretty equal.

Which one of you married/dated up? Again, I'd say we're pretty equal. We come from sort of similar backgrounds, both have the same level of education, similar on the attractive scale. I suppose if I had to say based on background, I married up - his parents are very white collar, my dad is very blue collar.

Who is the better spouse/partner? H is a fabulous partner. He makes it his mission to make sure I'm happy, our relationship is strong, we're comfortable financially, we have a great time together, doing his part around the house, being equals, etc. I mean, not to say I don't try to do those things too, but H very rarely has diva moments, which yeah, I can have at time.

If you could change one thing about your relationship, what would it be? When we argue, we never treat it like a big deal (and granted it usually isn't and it doens't happen often). Sometimes things build up though and that isn't good.

Your favorite thing about your relationship? The fact that neither of us needs regular time apart. I know some of you will call bs on that but we really don't. There's never been a time when I've said I just need to be alone. Not that there's something wrong with that, it just isn't us.

adamar15 · July 2012

Who has more power in your relationship?
I'd say me. It can be pretty hard to tell me no or sway me once my mind is made up.
Which one of you married/dated up?
Him, if you look at where our families are in society.
Who is the better spouse/partner?
Definitely him. I can be a biiitch sometimes.
If you could change one thing about your relationship, what would it be?
Sometimes I wish he'd stand up to me a little more. I think he gives in too easily sometimes.
Your favorite thing about your relationship?
How much fun we have together. We have a blast just doing stuff by ourselves. We spent the 4th together, no family or friends, and had an awesome day.

kaceymarie · July 2012

Who has more power in your relationship?

i think he does. he makes the more money so in the end a lot of decisions are up to him. but he listens to what i want then decides.

Which one of you married/dated up?

i guess i did but we come from similar backgrounds.

Who is the better spouse/partner?

he is. he is so sweet to me. he really tries to make me happy and i can see that.

If you could change one thing about your relationship, what would it be?

fights about little things.

Your favorite thing about your relationship?

that it has survived a lot of ups and downs. being long distance i didn't think we'd ever get here.

jennamarie10 · July 2012

Who has more power in your relationship? Me

Which one of you married/dated up? I'd say my H

Who is the better spouse/partner? Definitely H. I am way too selfish sometimes

If you could change one thing about your relationship, what would it be? That i can't just be happy with what I have sometimes.

Your favorite thing about your relationship? how much fun we have together when we are both in great moods, how well we compromise.

And I totally wish my H would let me a SAHM. He is definitely not traditional in that sense. He thinks (and I understand) that he would resent me if I was always sitting at home spending his money on my clothes and my lunches etc.

pillsburyaj · July 2012

Who has more power in your relationship? FI, for sure. I tend to be a pushover.

Which one of you married/dated up? I'd say we both did for different reasons. He makes more $, but I have more formal education (similar to what someone else posted).

Who is the better spouse/partner? I'd like to think that I am.

If you could change one thing about your relationship, what would it be? Like some of the PP's, I definitely wish FI was more affectionate and romantical.

Your favorite thing about your relationship? That we have been through so much together and know so much about eachother, yet our relationship is only strenghtened by these things.

Dang, I'm getting all mushy writing about this shitt.

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