What rule did you break?

willywally5 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-rule-did-you-break?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:33a70e7f-174a-4925-88b9-8bf3965121bePost:f350a823-f8b2-4363-876a-a390eb07d855">Re: What rule did you break?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What rule did you break? : This is bad etiquette? I had no idea! We wrote the same thing on our invites since our reception was held about 30 yards away from our ceremony.
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

<div>Yeah, apparently if it's in a totally different place/address you 'should' have a seperate card. I think yours was probably fine. </div>

kcscejal · July 2012

We printed directly on the envelopes. And it looked way better than if we had hand written them. I think that's the dumbest etiquette rule of all time.

We addressed an invitation to The Smith family which included Mr. Smith and his 2 daughters (both over age 18). His wife had just passed away and she was so excited about coming. I couldn't address the envelope to just him. Could not.

Loopyseven · July 2012

We totally had a head table and sat the SO's with other people they knew in the "general population". Otherwise, I think we were pretty good etiquette wise.

jennipea382 · July 2012

We will only be hosting beer and wine, liquor will be cash. It's normal around here, plus I'd rather invite everyone I want to be there instead of cutting some friends so everyone else can get drunk for free. We're also probably having a head table, but we'll make that final decision when we figure out who the WP dates can sit with. If they won't know anyone, I may reconsider and figure something out then. We will probably do labels, at least for the return address. I'll probably break a few more but I'm absolutely making sure my guests have a great time!

dumdumfroggie · July 2012

We will have all the reception information on the invitation, even though it's in a different location.

Also, we will most likely be having a head table

I am against this, however, for some reason FI really, really wants one and has decided to be stubborn about this one issue. It's honestly not worth it to me to fight him on this one.

ETA: Though, FTR, neither of us have ever been to a wedding that has anything besides a head table. So, it's pretty well accepted in our circles.

barrelbabe004 · July 2012

We sent an STD to my great uncle and then ended up not inviting him. He passed away last summer and during the time of our wedding was going senial. My grandpa (his brother) asked that he not be invited because the uncle was becoming very abusive during that time.

pkontk · July 2012

Yup, totally flaked on the reception card. Had no idea. Its definitely in a separate location.

We addressed STDs to families even with kids over 18. (John, June, and Jerry Smith, etc.)

We asked FI's parents what they could contribute (they kept telling us they would help but we had to nail down a number before we started planning.)

[Deleted User] · July 2012

Didn't invite a choice Aunt and Uncle
Invited some second cousins, not all
Open bar for hor d'oevres then had a cash bar during dinner (but served wine at your table with dinner) Re-opened bar after dinner <--- it was a 4 hr open bar for a 5 hr reception, serving wine for the one hour was cheaper

rlavach · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-rule-did-you-break?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:33a70e7f-174a-4925-88b9-8bf3965121bePost:1c4cc153-5ee7-4cc4-a742-e197ab9cbed0">Re: What rule did you break?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What rule did you break? : What is up with your font? I've seen it on a few of your other posts.
Posted by specialk84[/QUOTE]
I know! I have no idea. It just does that. Sometimes it'll be normal for half the post & then weird/big in the rest of the same post. I have no clue.

barrelbabe004 · July 2012

Oh and we didn't have assigned seating (not that it's breaking etiquette, but not looked on great here) and we only had beer and wine. But our venue didn't allow hard liquor.

pokepoke27 · July 2012

We didn't do assigned seating. But I had plenty of extra seating, and everyone was comfortable so it worked out well.

Someone that got a STD didn't get an invitation because she decided to end the relationship between our families. FWIW I was told on here that I didn't have to invite her. So I didn't.

ETA - OH! And my bartender put out a tip jar which I wasn't aware of until the reception was almost over. I thought I'd look like a total biiiiitch if I asked them to put it away, so I decided to let it go.

aragx6 · July 2012

We didn't invite the SOs of several of FI's family from the Philippines. My initial understanding was that it was an immigration thing, which I believe is still at least partially true, but I also just discovered it's also because that side of the family is very traditonal and inviting someone's SO if they're not married is apparently extremely inappropriate. We always knew they weren't coming anyway, but it still bugs me.

FI's BM is one of our dearest friends, so I texted him last week to discuss bachelor party details to make sure he was on the ball. Ooops, but I know he intended to plan it anyway and like I said, we're not talking about a stranger here.

I think that's it. So far anyway

aragx6 · July 2012

Oh and not a "rule" per se, but we happily and without guilt invited our cousins on an ad hoc basis. If there are hurt feelings, well that's just life. Most of these people I have no relationship with.

willywally5 · July 2012

I hadn't even thought about assigned seats or even just assigned tables. I am 99% sure DD isn't going to want that. It's not usually done here. It is really interesting to me what is 'normal' from region to region. I think if we did assigned seating/tables, people would think it was weird and somehow snobby. (I don't think it is, but sometimes people just are weird about things which are different from what they usually see.)

One more thing to add to the list of things to ask her!

hoffse · July 2012

We have "too many" registries - but I've seen as many as 10 from people in my circle, so I'm not worrying about it. We have 4 national ones (about 80% of our guestlist is OOT) plus a tiny shop in my hometown that like 3 people will shop at - but one of them is the mother of one of my bridesmaids, and she's friends with all the ladies who run the shop. She begged me to register there so she could brag about which wedding her daughter was in. They put out a place setting of your china with an engagement photo and then they all ohh/ahh/judge your china choices. Whatever - I don't even have it on my website. So in my head I have 4.

We are also probably going to have about an hour gap between our ceremony and reception because we're having a mass at 2, and the reception is going to start around 4. The reception is about 10-15 min away, and we plan to alert guests on the reception card that the first hour will be apps/drinks and dinner will start at 5 so that they can go check in to the hotel/freshen up if they want to come a little later. We figure giving them advanced notice gives them the option of either hanging around the church for 30-40 min or so or going to do their own thing for longer... so that's how I'm justifying it.

achiduck · July 2012

We printed guest names/addresses directly on the envelope as well as our return address on the back flap. I am not hand writing 75 sets of invitations. My printing is nice for the first 10 and then my wrist gets sore and I don't give a shitt after that.

We're also having a head table (gasp!). They're super common and pretty much expected in my area. Plus FI feels sweetheart tables are pretentious. Whatevs.

KellyBrian2013 · July 2012

FI & I sent STDs to families - specifically addressed each individual, but that included kids who were 18+ living at home... just cheaper. Invites, however, were sent to each individual over 18.

We had addresses printed directly on the envelopes in font and ink to match the invitations. Gasp. (It looked WAY better than FI or I hand-addressing them.)

I finally got tired of fighting with FI over SO names vs "and guest", so several on his side got invited without their SO or with "and guest" instead of the name because his family insists that they NEVER invite SO's to weddings. I wasn't happy about it, but in the end, it wasn't worth the fight.

Same for the head table... FI for some reason REEEEALLY wants one, despite my suggestion of a sweetheart table. Most WP SOs will know other people and I believe that ones that don't already aren't planning to come for various reasons (work, expenses). Edited to add that neither of us has ever attended a wedding without a head table before, so they are super common in our circle.

rsaleh84 · July 2012

So far we've broken the "no cash bar" rule because we are serving beer and wine and having hard liquor as cash bar...our families and friends are all used to this and would prefer it over no liquor or 'ritas etc.

Also, we are using return address labels for the invites, but we are putting them on the back of the envelopes rather than the front.

We are putting "Dinner and Dancing Immediately Following Ceremony" on the invites because we are getting married on the dance floor in the middle of everyone's tables.

This is just so far...I am sure we will be breaking plenty of other rules...we suck.

specialk84 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-rule-did-you-break?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:33a70e7f-174a-4925-88b9-8bf3965121bePost:90a4e887-b9ad-4de8-b8b3-64275c5e1bb2">Re: What rule did you break?</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh and not a "rule" per se, but we happily and without guilt invited our cousins on an ad hoc basis. If there are hurt feelings, well that's just life. Most of these people I have no relationship with.
Posted by aragx6[/QUOTE]

<div>We did this with H's cousins. On his mother's side alone, there are 25. We invited two.</div>

pokepoke27 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-rule-did-you-break?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:33a70e7f-174a-4925-88b9-8bf3965121bePost:12ea36f6-905f-4ff7-a90d-fb1ba1c473d5">Re: What rule did you break?</a>:
[QUOTE]I hadn't even thought about assigned seats or even just assigned tables. I am 99% sure DD isn't going to want that. It's not usually done here. It is really interesting to me what is 'normal' from region to region. I think if we did assigned seating/tables, people would think it was weird and somehow snobby. (I don't think it is, but sometimes people just are weird about things which are different from what they usually see.) One more thing to add to the list of things to ask her!
Posted by willywally5[/QUOTE]

<div>When I say assigned seating I meant I didn't assign tables either. I don't know if I was clear about that. </div>

Bkseller13 · July 2012

I used clear labels for my invitations. However, E saved me from doing a honeymoon registry, that was on my list.

rsaleh84 · July 2012

Oh and no assigned seating...it's an informal wedding with a buffet dinner, and since a lot of our family members (specifically FI's family) come late, show up early and leave early, and are unpredictable, we decided to leave it up to them to find their seats...we will have reserved tables for our immediate family and older relatives since the remainder of the tables are high tops and the elderly family members cant climb up onto the high seats.

LesPaul · July 2012

We had a B-list (sort of). We had some decllines and room in the venue, and thought of some additional people we wanted to invite after RSVPs started coming in, so we did. One person called the day-of and asked if she could come, and I said 'sure' (she's the Mom of DD's friend, so we're friendly but not close). I don't think anyone cared.

We hosted beer and boxed wine. It was fine - the only complaint was from BIL, who said we didn't have any good beer because we didn't have Budweiser.

specialk84 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-rule-did-you-break?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:33a70e7f-174a-4925-88b9-8bf3965121bePost:a1350585-1563-45fa-88a7-fa3dff80d724">Re: What rule did you break?</a>:
[QUOTE]So far we've broken the "no cash bar" rule because we are serving beer and wine and having hard liquor as cash bar...our families and friends are all used to this and would prefer it over no liquor or 'ritas etc. Also, we are using return address labels for the invites, but we are putting them on the back of the envelopes rather than the front. <strong>We are putting "Dinner and Dancing Immediately Following Ceremony" on the invites because we are getting married on the dance floor in the middle of everyone's tables.</strong> This is just so far...I am sure we will be breaking plenty of other rules...we suck.
Posted by rsaleh84[/QUOTE]

<div>That's not breaking a single etiquette rule.</div>

rsaleh84 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-rule-did-you-break?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:33a70e7f-174a-4925-88b9-8bf3965121bePost:4eaed6cd-4d86-4e89-a503-178bd6373a4e">Re: What rule did you break?</a>:
[QUOTE]We had a B-list (sort of). We had some decllines and room in the venue, and thought of some additional people we wanted to invite after RSVPs started coming in, so we did. One person called the day-of and asked if she could come, and I said 'sure' (she's the Mom of DD's friend, so we're friendly but not close). I don't think anyone cared. We hosted beer and boxed wine. It was fine - <strong>the only complaint was from BIL, who said we didn't have any good beer because we didn't have Budweiser</strong>.
Posted by LesPaul[/QUOTE]

haha...to each their own! I prefer Michelob Ultra or Dos Equis

brandichamberlain · July 2012

We had envelope wraps printed for the invitations.

I called the BM and asked if he was doing a bach. party because FI's schedule is crazy and I didn't know if it was a surprise.

I bought jewelry as one of the gifts for my BM's.

I think that is all. I guess I'll have to see the day of if I see anything.

rsaleh84 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-rule-did-you-break?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:33a70e7f-174a-4925-88b9-8bf3965121bePost:305c5284-8d79-4991-9823-e9f61f9b1f24">Re: What rule did you break?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What rule did you break? : That's not breaking a single etiquette rule.
Posted by specialk84[/QUOTE]

That's good to know! I pretty much think I'm breaking every single etiquette rule while I've been planning because we're doing things so differently than the "norm"

icefog34 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-rule-did-you-break?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:33a70e7f-174a-4925-88b9-8bf3965121bePost:a3abd4f9-4e99-4d4c-909e-435d21de0515">Re: What rule did you break?</a>:
[QUOTE]DD hates ''too many pieces of paper" in invites; so, (GASP!) we didn't do a seperate reception card. It just says, 'Reception to immediately follow at blah blah blah location' I am a bad, bad momma. (However, it saved us a bundle on the postage! More beer!)
Posted by willywally5[/QUOTE]
I'm a heathen I guess. I don't see the problem with that at all, at that's PRECISELY what my FI and I plan on doing too! Buwahahahaha!!! *breakin' the law! breakin' the law!*

specialk84 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-rule-did-you-break?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:33a70e7f-174a-4925-88b9-8bf3965121bePost:c7e9be77-4c73-4952-861a-21673a594d77">Re: What rule did you break?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What rule did you break? : I'm a heathen I guess. I don't see the problem with that at all, at that's PRECISELY what my FI and I plan on doing too! Buwahahahaha!!! *breakin' the law! breakin' the law!*
Posted by icefog34[/QUOTE]

<div>This annoys me.</div>

pokepoke27 · July 2012

Oh - and I don't know if this is against Etiquette or not but we had a table on the dance floor which we moved after dinner. There was still plenty of room for everyone to sit after that. That wasn't my idea, but it worked out well.

What rule did you break?

Re: What rule did you break?

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