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January 2012 Weddings
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What to do?

hippoloverhippolover member
500 Comments
in January 2012 Weddings
So my mom made me invite family.  I know right! anyways...
They are about 3 hours away from the wedding. They haven't RSVPed yet and now I am calling people. They are saying yes, but if it snows, no.  Yum I still have to pay for meals if you don't show up.

So what to do I say to these people? I can't find anything on etiquette?
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Re: What to do?

  • PrettyCW5PrettyCW5
    500 Comments
    Honey I feel ya! My guest list has grown significantly! I'm worried about people not rsvping to my semi destination wedding (1 hr from my home). I've been racking my brain trying to figure out an answer for you. I guess you could somewhat explain why you need to know. Maybe... "Uncle Bob, I need to know if you guys will be in attendance at our wedding so that our caterer has a final headcount and we can submit our final payment." Kinda hints that you need to know for sure because you're paying. Hoping that doesn't sound or come off too rude to them...
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  • TaraW1979TaraW1979 member
    500 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_january-2012-weddings_what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:5a1804e7-e8c8-4829-9e61-b9d49f3a9b5fDiscussion:1a97e4c4-06cc-4642-9fff-03796d11156fPost:c04fe99a-462f-452e-b8bd-056d4971b53c">Re: What to do?</a>:
    [QUOTE]. I guess you could somewhat explain why you need to know. Maybe... "Uncle Bob, I need to know if you guys will be in attendance at our wedding so that our caterer has a final headcount and we can submit our final payment."
    Posted by PrettyCW5[/QUOTE]

    This! I am telling people I need my final head count for my seating chart, which needs to be turned in by Dec. 20.
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  • sassygirl5401sassygirl5401
    100 Comments
    I agree with Mark or maybe you can split it. If its a family of 4 put down 2 and yes and 2 as no. That wasy if they dont show you are only paying for 2 extra meals and if they do show you only have to feed 2 extra people.
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  • jtmh2012jtmh2012
    500 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddingchannel.com/main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_january-2012-weddings_what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:5a1804e7-e8c8-4829-9e61-b9d49f3a9b5fDiscussion:1a97e4c4-06cc-4642-9fff-03796d11156fPost:fda9227c-351d-4744-9d72-7a9a97334981">Re: What to do?</a>:
    [QUOTE]If they show, I won't have food for them. We are having our courses served not buffet.
    Posted by hippolover[/QUOTE]

    Even the places that serve the food have extra in the back just in case plates are dropped, etc...

    That's why I asked how many were doing this to you.  If 4 or 5 extra people show, you'll be fine.  If 15 show, then you might be screwed.

    Personally, I thought of giving them an ultimatum, but then they'd just tell you they were coming and you'd be out money if they don't.  Then again, I'm the type that if you can't commit, then I'm marking you as a no.
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  • awarm014awarm014
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_january-2012-weddings_what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:5a1804e7-e8c8-4829-9e61-b9d49f3a9b5fDiscussion:1a97e4c4-06cc-4642-9fff-03796d11156fPost:c04fe99a-462f-452e-b8bd-056d4971b53c">Re: What to do?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Honey I feel ya! My guest list has grown significantly! I'm worried about people not rsvping to my semi destination wedding (1 hr from my home). I've been racking my brain trying to figure out an answer for you. I guess you could somewhat explain why you need to know. Maybe... "Uncle Bob, I need to know if you guys will be in attendance at our wedding so that our caterer has a final headcount and we can submit our final payment." Kinda hints that you need to know for sure because you're paying. Hoping that doesn't sound or come off too rude to them...
    Posted by PrettyCW5[/QUOTE]
    The ettiqutte board would probably blow up, but I would do this. I might leave off the part about final payment, though
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  • jtmh2012jtmh2012
    500 Comments
    Is it just the one household that's telling you this or all of them?  Most venues require that you give them a headcount.  This becomes your minimum with the ability to add people after the fact.  Most also make additional food for droppage, etc.

    You could count them as "No's" and then "oh gee, uncle bob made it!" :)
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  • hippoloverhippolover member
    500 Comments
    If they show, I won't have food for them. We are having our courses served not buffet.
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  • KaitheyMartinKaitheyMartin member
    Third Anniversary 10 Comments
    Well I can understand your feelings very well........And I know it’s hard to deal with such guests.......Well I guess it would be good if you call them and ask them if they are coming or not because you need exact head counts for the wedding preparations......

    Let them feel whatever they want at least you will not feel ant stress........Sometime guests avoid sending RSVP because they think that this way the sender will understand that they will not come.....Or sometime guests are not so sure if they will come or not......So better call them and ask them.....
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