• Images
  • Text
  • Find a Couple + Registry
GO
Wedding Recap and Withdrawal

Wedding Disappointment, Angry Friends

Well, my wedding was Saturday. The days leading up to were madness, the morning/day-of was insane, but we made it, walked down the aisle, and are very happy together. But I can't get over all of the things that went wrong. 

First of all, the entire time I had been working on DIY-ing this thing from the ground up, my bridesmaids and MOH were mostly absent. My mother and I constantly battle, so she wasn't any help at all. So, I sat mostly on my own doing everything. A few other friends stepped in eventually and said they would help out. We had meetings, made notes, and I made sure to write detailed instructions for the day-of when I couldn't be there. 

Well, being the anti-Bridezilla completely backfired. I eventually had to call in the assistance of my future husband and groomsmen because nothing was getting done. One of my bridesmaids was hungover and barfed in my bathroom that morning, my MOH was barking orders at me to help her after I had had a total of 10 hours of sleep in the previous 3 days, and I still had a ton of stuff that needed to be finished at home. 

Upon arriving at the venue nearly an hour and a half after we had planned (we were going to do pre-ceremony photos), I noticed so many things that were not done correctly. Balloons that were strung up outside had shrunken to shriveled up sacks, the lights inside of them were not turned on, the picnic tables were not spaced correctly, and many of them were bunched up together after we had made blueprints for where to put them, the after-ceremony confetti was by the front door and we would not be leaving the venue, the chalkboard ceremony sign was smeared and no one had bothered to tidy it up, the favors were on the cake table and hardly anyone bothered to take any, our toasting glasses were not on our table and eventually went missing, and our table backdrop was never placed behind our table. And I'm still missing our $25 cake knife (the serving knife broke) beacuse instead of following my instructions and putting important items in our car, people took it upon themselves to take home what they thought was important, or public guests (we had a live concert at a club) took them before no one packed up our stuff in time. And my MOH left early to go a birthday party.

So, while I had a good time, and feedback was positive, I still can't get it out of my head that people let me down. It wasn't until the groomsmen arrived that someone finally looked at my instruction list. "Oh, you mean she left explicitly detailed instructions with pictures? Why isn't anyone looking at this?!" And they were the primary ones to make sure our stuff was secured, even though this was not necessarily their responsiblity.

But now everyone (my girlfriends) thinks they worked SOOO hard, and that I'm being selfish and unappreciative because I'm disappointed. My sadness has been met with resounding opposition and anger, and I feel like I'm going to lose a few "friends" over this. I'm also quite succeptible to slipping into depression, and I feel like that has a lot to do with it. But no one is letting me grieve. I'm now a terrible person because I'm not happy. (Fortunately, my husband is supportive, and a better man that I could've ever hoped for.)

I'm seriously at a loss for what to do. Yes, I married by best friend and the love of my life, but that doesn't mean that I have to be thrilled with the way everything went. Yes, these people helped me, but they sure as hell didn't listen to me.
«13

Re: Wedding Disappointment, Angry Friends

  • HobokensFuryHobokensFury member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited October 2012
    Your bridal party are not slaves. Your DIY project are solely your responsibility. They are not required to help.  If you wanted everything done in a specific way at your venue your should have done it yourself or hired a coordinator. Same thing goes for cleaning up. Sorry but your disappointment is unwarrented. It's your own fault for having unrealistic expectations.

     
      Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Wow. Your bridesmaids, MOH, mother, groomsman etc aren't your slaves. If you needed help you should have hired a DOC to help you. All your WP is required to do is show up the day of the wedding in the dress/suit and smile for pictures. THAT'S IT. They are not required to help with DIY projects, fixing balloons, packing up the car.

    Also, why weren't your DIY projects done by the day of the wedding? sounds like poor planning on your part. Why didn't you ask the GROOM to help you? It's his wedding too.

    Congrats, you're married now. You cant change your day, so focus on the good stuff.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_wedding-disappointment-angry-friends?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:12Discussion:331ca53d-37ac-44e4-98a0-8625f81efb8fPost:be24ed98-359c-4302-a685-a40b33da7c9c">Wedding Disappointment, Angry Friends</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well, my wedding was Saturday. The days leading up to were madness, the morning/day-of was insane, but we made it, walked down the aisle, and are very happy together. But I can't get over all of the things that went wrong.  First of all, the entire time I had been working on DIY-ing this thing from the ground up, my bridesmaids and MOH were mostly absent. My mother and I constantly battle, so she wasn't any help at all. So, I sat mostly on my own doing everything. A few other friends stepped in eventually and said they would help out. We had meetings, made notes, and I made sure to write detailed instructions for the day-of when I couldn't be there.  Well, being the anti-Bridezilla completely backfired. I eventually had to call in the assistance of my future husband and groomsmen because nothing was getting done. One of my bridesmaids was hungover and barfed in my bathroom that morning, my MOH was barking orders at me to help her after I had had a total of 10 hours of sleep in the previous 3 days, and I still had a ton of stuff that needed to be finished at home.  Upon arriving at the venue nearly an hour and a half after we had planned (we were going to do pre-ceremony photos), I noticed so many things that were not done correctly. Balloons that were strung up outside had shrunken to shriveled up sacks, the lights inside of them were not turned on, the picnic tables were not spaced correctly, and many of them were bunched up together after we had made blueprints for where to put them, the after-ceremony confetti was by the front door and we would not be leaving the venue, the chalkboard ceremony sign was smeared and no one had bothered to tidy it up, the favors were on the cake table and hardly anyone bothered to take any, our toasting glasses were not on our table and eventually went missing, and our table backdrop was never placed behind our table. And I'm still missing our $25 cake knife (the serving knife broke) beacuse instead of following my instructions and putting important items in our car, people took it upon themselves to take home what they thought was important, or public guests (we had a live concert at a club) took them before no one packed up our stuff in time. And my MOH left early to go a birthday party. So, while I had a good time, and feedback was positive, I still can't get it out of my head that people let me down. It wasn't until the groomsmen arrived that someone finally looked at my instruction list. "Oh, you mean she left explicitly detailed instructions with pictures? Why isn't anyone looking at this?!" And they were the primary ones to make sure our stuff was secured, even though this was not necessarily their responsiblity. But now everyone (my girlfriends) thinks they worked SOOO hard, and that I'm being selfish and unappreciative because I'm disappointed. My sadness has been met with resounding opposition and anger, and I feel like I'm going to lose a few "friends" over this. I'm also quite succeptible to slipping into depression, and I feel like that has a lot to do with it. But no one is letting me grieve. I'm now a terrible person because I'm not happy. (Fortunately, my husband is supportive, and a better man that I could've ever hoped for.) I'm seriously at a loss for what to do. Yes, I married by best friend and the love of my life, but that doesn't mean that I have to be thrilled with the way everything went. Yes, these people helped me, but they sure as hell didn't listen to me.
    Posted by freenyona[/QUOTE]

    JIC
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_wedding-disappointment-angry-friends?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:331ca53d-37ac-44e4-98a0-8625f81efb8fPost:dbcd2702-53e1-4254-88b4-e120aaf88a82">Re: Wedding Disappointment, Angry Friends</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Wedding Disappointment, Angry Friends : JIC
    Posted by KatWAG[/QUOTE]

    Good call.
     
      Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • If you wanted people to listen to you and carry out your orders to the letter then you needed to hire people.  Your DIY projects should have been finished long before the wedding day and everyone in your WP should have been allowed to enjoy the wedding and reception.  I'd strongly encourage you to take a few days to get over this because it is not worth losing friends over something that wasn't their responsibility to start off with,
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
  • To answer a few of your questions:
    1. Where was my husband? Immobilized. For the past 6 months. He was finally able to have surgery and recover the Wednesday before the wedding.

    2. Sounds like poor planning? Sure. I've been the only one working and supporting my household for the past 6 months. We have been living on pennies. I did not have a lot of time to complete many of the projects I wanted to do mainly because I didn't have the money to. So yes, I had quite a few things that I needed to finish last minute. I worked a full-time job/overtime every day up until the wedding.

    3. Hire a DOC? See above. We're not all made of cash. 

    4. Slaves? No one was a slave. I didn't force anyone into anything. I never griped, demanded, got crazy. We had meetings, notes, lists, everything was written down. I was there the day-of as long as I could be. But I can't rightly be doing my hair and makeup whilst hanging balloons and sorting out picnic tables. When people volunteer to help you, you trust that they will help you. But instead all they did was complain and I had to hear feedback from my mother, groomsmen, and husband. And I didn't get angry at anyone in particular the next day, either. I simply voiced on FB that I was disappointed, and I wished that people would all me to be sad and allow me to grieve. I wasn't just disappointed in those people, but in everything. Disappointed that I didn't have more time, disappointed that I was disappointed, disappointed that so many things got out of control. I trusted people to help me. We didn't have all the formalities of a traditional wedding. I didn't have paid professionals and family hanging around me for support. I only had my friends. And I voiced my appreciation for the help that was given, but couldn't change the fact that quite a few things ended up going wrong.

    5. And "JIC"? Really? So I can't change my story, and you lot can continue to pick apart my flaws? Just a tad malicious, don't you think? If I didn't want feedback, I wouldn't have posted. And if I didn't want to hear that I'm wrong, I could just as easily walk away from this post. I was looking for advice. It's sad to see that women can be such catty gang members. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_wedding-disappointment-angry-friends?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:331ca53d-37ac-44e4-98a0-8625f81efb8fPost:8e2ef2ba-ded9-4272-94df-6487751f61c8">Re: Wedding Disappointment, Angry Friends</a>:
    [QUOTE]To answer a few of your questions: 1. Where was my husband? Immobilized. For the past 6 months. He was finally able to have surgery and recover the Wednesday before the wedding. 2. Sounds like poor planning? Sure. I've been the only one working and supporting my household for the past 6 months. We have been living on pennies. I did not have a lot of time to complete many of the projects I wanted to do mainly because I didn't have the money to. So yes, I had quite a few things that I needed to finish last minute. I worked a full-time job/overtime every day up until the wedding. 3. <strong>Hire a DOC? See above. We're not all made of cash. </strong> 4. Slaves? No one was a slave. I didn't force anyone into anything. I never <strong>griped, demanded, got crazy</strong>. We had meetings, notes, lists, everything was written down. I was there the day-of as long as I could be. But I can't rightly be doing my hair and makeup whilst hanging balloons and sorting out picnic tables. When people volunteer to help you, you trust that they will help you. But instead all they did was complain and I had to hear feedback from my mother, groomsmen, and husband. And I didn't get angry at anyone in particular the next day, either. I simply <strong>voiced on FB that I was disappointed, and I wished that people would all me to be sad and allow me to grieve.</strong> I wasn't just disappointed in those people, but in everything. Disappointed that I didn't have more time, disappointed that I was disappointed, disappointed that so many things got out of control. I trusted people to help me. We didn't have all the formalities of a traditional wedding. I didn't have paid professionals and family hanging around me for support. I only had my friends. And I voiced my appreciation for the help that was given, but couldn't change the fact that quite a few things ended up going wrong. 5. And "JIC"? Really? So I can't change my story, and you lot can continue to pick apart my flaws? Just a tad malicious, don't you think? If I didn't want feedback, I wouldn't have posted. And if I didn't want to hear that I'm wrong, I could just as easily walk away from this post. I was looking for advice. It's sad to see that women can be such catty gang members. 
    Posted by freenyona[/QUOTE]

    1. That is extremely rude. Most people who plan weddings are NOT made of cash, and it simply sounds like you overextended yourself. Without a DOC the average bride could not have handled what you set yourself up for.

    2. You seem gripey and demanding right now.

    3. You should never have put anything out there on FB. People that did help out will feel very unappreciated, especially since they weren't obligated to help at all.
    You also really don't need to grieve. At the end of the day, it was a party that had a few things askew, but you are MARRIED now.

    Just try to put everything about you and look at the big picture. There were things that went wrong on our wedding day, too, but I want to have happy memories of the day, so I choose to dwell on the happy parts of the day.
  • HobokensFuryHobokensFury member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited October 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_wedding-disappointment-angry-friends?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:331ca53d-37ac-44e4-98a0-8625f81efb8fPost:8e2ef2ba-ded9-4272-94df-6487751f61c8">Re: Wedding Disappointment, Angry Friends</a>:
    [QUOTE]To answer a few of your questions: 1. Where was my husband? Immobilized. For the past 6 months. He was finally able to have surgery and recover the Wednesday before the wedding. 2. Sounds like poor planning? Sure. I've been the only one working and supporting my household for the past 6 months. We have been living on pennies. <strong>If this was true having a wedding should be the last thing to spend your last pennies on. You could have went to the local courthouse and called it a day. </strong> I did not have a lot of time to complete many of the projects I wanted to do mainly because I didn't have the money to.<strong>If you didn't have the money for them then you should have skipped them. They are not required.</strong> So yes, I had quite a few things that I needed to finish last minute. I worked a full-time job/overtime every day up until the wedding. 3. Hire a DOC? See above. We're not all made of cash.  4. Slaves? No one was a slave. I didn't force anyone into anything. I never griped, demanded, got crazy.  We had meetings, notes, lists, everything was written down. <strong>Once again if you had meetings, list etc you were expecting them to help.</strong> I was there the day-of as long as I could be. But I can't rightly be doing my hair and makeup whilst hanging balloons and sorting out picnic tables. When people volunteer to help you, you trust that they will help you. <strong>Actually they didn't. </strong>But instead all they did was complain and I had to hear feedback from my mother, groomsmen, and husband. And I didn't get angry at anyone in particular the next day, either. I simply voiced on FB that I was disappointed, <strong>This is about the worst, most immature thing one could do</strong> and I wished that people would all me to be sad and allow me to grieve.<strong> If you posted it on FB you obviously wanted a response.</strong> I wasn't just disappointed in those people, but in everything. Disappointed that I didn't have more time, disappointed that I was disappointed, disappointed that so many things got out of control. I trusted people to help me. We didn't have all the formalities of a traditional wedding. I didn't have paid professionals and family hanging around me for support. I only had my friends. And I voiced my appreciation for the help that was given, but couldn't change the fact that quite a few things ended up going wrong. 5. And "JIC"? Really? So I can't change my story, and you lot can continue to pick apart my flaws? Just a tad malicious, don't you think? <strong>Actually it's not. It's a common practice for people to DD when they don't get the advice they want to hear.</strong> If I didn't want feedback, I wouldn't have posted. <strong>You got it and now you're defensive.</strong> And if I didn't want to hear that I'm wrong, I could just as easily walk away from this post. I was looking for advice.<strong> You got advice. To forget it.</strong> It's sad to see that women can be such catty gang members. 
    Posted by freenyona[/QUOTE]
     
      Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_wedding-disappointment-angry-friends?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:12Discussion:331ca53d-37ac-44e4-98a0-8625f81efb8fPost:8e2ef2ba-ded9-4272-94df-6487751f61c8">Re: Wedding Disappointment, Angry Friends</a>:
    [QUOTE]To answer a few of your questions: 1. Where was my husband? Immobilized. For the past 6 months. He was finally able to have surgery and recover the Wednesday before the wedding. 2. Sounds like poor planning? Sure. I've been the only one working and supporting my household for the past 6 months. We have been living on pennies. I did not have a lot of time to complete many of the projects I wanted to do mainly because I didn't have the money to. So yes, I had quite a few things that I needed to finish last minute. I worked a full-time job/overtime every day up until the wedding. 3. Hire a DOC? See above. We're not all made of cash.  4. Slaves? No one was a slave. I didn't force anyone into anything. I never griped, demanded, got crazy. We had meetings, notes, lists, everything was written down. I was there the day-of as long as I could be. But I can't rightly be doing my hair and makeup whilst hanging balloons and sorting out picnic tables. When people volunteer to help you, you trust that they will help you. But instead all they did was complain and I had to hear feedback from my mother, groomsmen, and husband. And I didn't get angry at anyone in particular the next day, either. I simply voiced on FB that I was disappointed, and I wished that people would all me to be sad and allow me to grieve. I wasn't just disappointed in those people, but in everything. Disappointed that I didn't have more time, disappointed that I was disappointed, disappointed that so many things got out of control. I trusted people to help me. We didn't have all the formalities of a traditional wedding. I didn't have paid professionals and family hanging around me for support. I only had my friends. And I voiced my appreciation for the help that was given, but couldn't change the fact that quite a few things ended up going wrong. 5. And "JIC"? Really? So I can't change my story, and you lot can continue to pick apart my flaws? Just a tad malicious, don't you think? If I didn't want feedback, I wouldn't have posted. And if I didn't want to hear that I'm wrong, I could just as easily walk away from this post. I was looking for advice. It's sad to see that women can be such catty gang members. 
    Posted by freenyona[/QUOTE]

    Most of us are not made of money. But we plan and save accordingly. We planned to have a wedding that we could afford when we could afford it. If you are living off pennies, then it probably wasnt wise to throw a wedding. You have just as easily had a JOP.

    I also agree that you do sound gripey and demanding. Meetings? Notes? lists of instructions? That is a little over the top, dont you think? And yes you can attend to balloons and do your make up. Again, its called PLANNING.

    As for venting on fb, that just makes you seem ungrateful to those who did help you.

    And as for your "need to grieve," aren't you being a bit overly dramatic? No one died. It was a ceremony and a party that resulted in you marrying your best friend. No need to grieve. My advice is to let it go. You cant change it. Focus on the positive part of your wedding.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Hoboken.... Get out of my head!!!
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • If at the end of the day you are married, then the day went perfectly. Why bother getting married if you're going to flip over the spacing of the picnic tables, deflated balloons, and smudged chalk, to the extent that you say you need to "grieve?" Is that what the day was about? Who cares? You're married! Quit grieving and enjoy the fact that you are married to the man of your dreams (or at least I hope you are, anyways.)
    mkospring2w
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_wedding-disappointment-angry-friends?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:331ca53d-37ac-44e4-98a0-8625f81efb8fPost:8a860f59-79c6-423d-88b5-e28e2ef64b45">Re: Wedding Disappointment, Angry Friends</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hoboken.... Get out of my head!!!
    Posted by KatWAG[/QUOTE]

    Great minds think alike. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-wink.gif" border="0" alt="Wink" title="Wink" />
     
      Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • KatWAG  - Okay, I've tried to figure this out on my own, but I can't seem to.  What does JIC mean? 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • JIC- just in case OP did a DD
     
      Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Here is what is necessary to get married:  Two willing participants of legal age, an officiant and a license.  Every other thing is extra.  You made the choice to have all of these other things.  Whether you think it is fair or not, all of those extras were the responsibility of you and your DH and only the two of you.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
  • OK...I thought JIC might stand for Just In Case but I couldn't figure out how that would fit in with the post.  It ALL makes sense now.  Thanks :)
    OP - I sometimes feel bad for people when they come on here to vent and get a ton of negative feedback.  But I've got to be honest with you, I think that you opened yourself up to this criticism with your post.  Honestly, for me, the issue is not that you expected people to help you, especially if they volunteered.  I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say that I truly believe that you had good intentions by giving explicit directions, in that you wanted it done a specific way and thought that giving them those instructions might have made it easier for them to get it done right.  I get why it's annoying that it wasn't done right, but you can't expect other people to be as particular about your wedding and your wedding details as you are.  It's kind of a let down, but at least they helped....something they did not have to do, but did anyway.  It sucks that you couldn't afford a DOC, and I get that too.  But at the same time, the reason things weren't done to your liking is because you didn't do it yourself, and you didn't pay someone else to do it. 
    The issue for me is the facebook post the next day.  What were you hoping to accomplish with that?  No wonder your friends are upset.  Not only did you complain that the help they did give you wasn't good enough, but you put it out there for all to see.  Essentially you called them out and now you're upset that this upset them?  Try to see if from their point of view.       
    I'm not trying to be catty or attacking, because I really do hate it when people act that way on these boards. I'm just trying to be honest with you in hopes that you will understand why your actions have led to some hurt/angry feelings from your friends. You need to do some damage control if you want to salvage these friendships.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • This is why my FI and I hired a DOC. For our family and friends all they're required to do is show up and enjoy the day, partaking in the food and entertainment. If there are any things that need to be finished before the wedding that is up to me and my FI. If people offer to help I'll probably accept it but in no way am I making lists for them and directions like they're an unpaid vendor. 
    Anniversary
  • Many people can't afford DOCs (we didn't have one), but I also didn't plan a bunch of DIY projects. You don't HAVE to do a ton of projects. LIke GLB and others have posted previously, these are EXTRAS and not necessary in order for two people to marry. You wanting them does not make it a requirement, and definitely not one that other people have to help out with.

    You say you didn't demand or expect anything from people, but you had lists with photos? That sounds a lot like expecting them to help, otherwise why the lists?

    The FB thing just blows my mind. Honestly, that's the most immature thing I've read here in quite awhile. I would be so hurt and furious if I was a "friend" of yours. If you have a serious issue with a friend, you talk to them about it in person, not put it on blast on FB for crying out loud. Not to mention, you had no real issue to begin with.

    Your grieving comment really rubs me the wrong way. People need time to grieve when they have lost a loved one or something equally traumatic. Asking for time to grieve after getting married to a guy you (seem to) really love is absolutely NOT a time for grieving. You sound so ridiculous saying that. You were married at the end of the day. Sure, a few things weren't perfect, but I guarantee if you polled all the married ladies on here, not a single one said their wedding day had absolutely no hitches. They're not giving you time to grieve because there's not a darn thing to grieve about.


    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    Vacation
  • "and allow me to grieve"

    You grieve when a love one dies, not when your balloons shrivel up. 

    " I'm also quite susceptible to slipping into depression"

    I think you're mistaking depression for drama. I hope you eventually get a grip on reality in case you actually do face real trauma in your life. If this is what causes you to "grieve", I'd hate to see what an actual crisis would do to you. 
    Photobucket Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I'm sorry but you are ridiculous!  I'm not made of money and we're planning a wedding we can afford.  By the way I'm also working full-time and overtime and finishing up school.  We're adults we work and do what we have to do to AFFORD the things we want!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • If you want to do DIY projects then it your sole responsibility to get them done. Remember your wedding is not as important to you as it is to your WP. They have their own things going on in their lives. Be appreciative for what you have…



  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_wedding-disappointment-angry-friends?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:12Discussion:331ca53d-37ac-44e4-98a0-8625f81efb8fPost:2a13187c-6240-42dc-b4c0-f7f12a8bf64a">Re: Wedding Disappointment, Angry Friends</a>:
    [QUOTE]If you want to do DIY projects then it your sole responsibility to get them done. Remember your wedding is not as important<strong> to your WP</strong> as it is <strong>to you</strong>. They have their own things going on in their lives. Be appreciative for what you have…
    Posted by RailWayWife[/QUOTE]

    FTFY
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
  • If you are prone to depression, then I suggest you contact your doctor or psychotherapist so you can get a handle on this. I really wish you the best in working through your situation.
  • I truly cannot imagine how your husband must have felt when he logged onto facebook and instead of seeing an excited post about finally being married, he sees a post complaining about the wedding.
    GlitterWitch22
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_wedding-disappointment-angry-friends?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:331ca53d-37ac-44e4-98a0-8625f81efb8fPost:8e2ef2ba-ded9-4272-94df-6487751f61c8">Re: Wedding Disappointment, Angry Friends</a>:
    [QUOTE]To answer a few of your questions: 1. Where was my husband? Immobilized. For the past 6 months. He was finally able to have surgery and recover the Wednesday before the wedding. 2. Sounds like poor planning? Sure. I've been the only one working and supporting my household for the past 6 months. We have been living on pennies. I did not have a lot of time to complete many of the projects I wanted to do mainly because I didn't have the money to. So yes, I had quite a few things that I needed to finish last minute. I worked a full-time job/overtime every day up until the wedding. 3. Hire a DOC? See above. We're not all made of cash.  4. Slaves? No one was a slave. I didn't force anyone into anything. I never griped, demanded, got crazy. We had meetings, notes, lists, everything was written down. I was there the day-of as long as I could be. But I can't rightly be doing my hair and makeup whilst hanging balloons and sorting out picnic tables. When people volunteer to help you, you trust that they will help you. But instead all they did was complain and I had to hear feedback from my mother, groomsmen, and husband. And I didn't get angry at anyone in particular the next day, either. I simply voiced on FB that I was disappointed, and I wished that people would all me to be sad and allow me to grieve. I wasn't just disappointed in those people, but in everything. Disappointed that I didn't have more time, disappointed that I was disappointed, disappointed that so many things got out of control. I trusted people to help me. We didn't have all the formalities of a traditional wedding. I didn't have paid professionals and family hanging around me for support. I only had my friends. And I voiced my appreciation for the help that was given, but couldn't change the fact that quite a few things ended up going wrong. 5. And "JIC"? Really? So I can't change my story, and you lot can continue to pick apart my flaws? Just a tad malicious, don't you think? If I didn't want feedback, I wouldn't have posted. And if I didn't want to hear that I'm wrong, I could just as easily walk away from this post. I was looking for advice. It's sad to see that women can be such catty gang members. 
    Posted by freenyona[/QUOTE]

    <div>Here's another way to take on this kind of project: I originally dreamed of having a lot of DIY elements in my wedding. My fiance and I had virtually no free time to devote to large-scale projects. We did what we could do ourselves and <em>gave up on the rest of it</em>. No one is entitled to have other people decorate their wedding for them (unless they are paying for a contracted service). This is true no matter how much money you do or don't make.</div><div>
    </div><div>It does sound like you expected more than you had the right to from your wedding party and family, and now you're being ungracious that they helped you at all. I do think you stand to lose some friends to this one--and not necessarily because you'll be the one severing the friendship.</div>
  • ur all crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!! chill out cant she vent?? Ypu're a bunch of cyber bullies i swear . my fi and I laugh at a lot of you ladies on repeat boards just jumping down peoples throat. just calm the F down

    Anniversary




    TTC starting 8/2014 :)

    image
    My Ovulation Chart

    lalibs
  • I would take a little time to be "bummed" that they day didnt go as planned but other than that you cant change it. Im sorry your FI was recovering and couldnt help much. I unfortunately got in a fender bender 15 days before my wedding so i had to add PT and all sort of things to my last planning moments so some things didnt get done. I ended up having tornado watches and really torrencial rains on my wedding day and i didnt get all the photos i wanted but cant change it. I understand you worked on this planning and every for awhile so it is a bit of a let down.
    My only other comment is on the FB. Maybe ill sound older but anything you put out on FB is out there for ever and many people espically 25 and under (generally) post every thought without thinking on FB. Just take a little question, do i really want to post this for everyone to see? Maybe somethings are best for a private journal to get them out but without an audience.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Keysha: ur all crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!! chill out cant she vent?? Ypu're a bunch of cyber bullies i swear . my fi and I laugh at a lot of you ladies on repeat boards just jumping down peoples throat. just calm the F down

    Thank God someone else on here feels like I do. She just wants to vent...

    Let her get it out and move on. Did she make a few mistakes? Yes but dang, we are all human! Chill out and let her have her opinion!

    Getting Hitches 08/09/2014

  • LOVE THIS! I've seen on a lot of boards where people just want and need to vent BC things aren't/didn't go as planned and people want to jump their throats. Encourage them people! Stop being asses just because it's not etiquette or some other b/s like you are supposed to do it by!

    n Response to Re:Wedding Disappointment, Angry Friends:[QUOTE]Keysha: ur all crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!! chill out cant she vent?? Ypu're a bunch of cyber bullies i swear . my fi and I laugh at a lot of you ladies on repeat boards just jumping down peoples throat. just calm the F down Thank God someone else on here feels like I do. She just wants to vent... Let her get it out and move on. Did she make a few mistakes? Yes but dang, we are all human! Chill out and let her have her opinion! Posted by nikegrl688[/QUOTE]
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited October 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_wedding-disappointment-angry-friends?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:12Discussion:331ca53d-37ac-44e4-98a0-8625f81efb8fPost:516c8556-87c8-4f71-afdd-24f49283a631">Re:Wedding Disappointment, Angry Friends</a>:
    [QUOTE]LOVE THIS! I've seen on a lot of boards where people just want and need to vent BC things aren't/didn't go as planned and people want to jump their throats. <strong>Encourage them people! </strong>Stop being asses just because it's not etiquette or some other b/s like you are supposed to do it by! n Response to Re:Wedding Disappointment, Angry Friends:
    Posted by annanoel21[/QUOTE]

    Why would we encourage bad, bratty and immature behavior?
    BabyFruit Ticker
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards