I keep seeing posts that the MOH and BM's just have to show up and are not required to do anything else. I have no idea when this happened, but I have to say that it makes me think that nowadays, you invite the girls that will look good in the dresses since they are there only as decorations!!! In the "olden days" BM's and MOH's were an intregal part of the planning process. They also were put to work on the Day of the Wedding- helping the Bride get dressed, keeping her calm, making her laugh. It was usually a very fun time, planning with your friends and having them with you to pick out your gown, trying on BM's dresses, discussing the decorations. Most of the girls on The Knot seem to think that these types of things are below them. What ever happened to friends helping out and making the Bride and Groom's day fun. It is not as if BM's are being treated as the help as so many of you seem to think.
If BM's are not required to "do" anything but show up and put on the dress, I think that you could replace them with a flower arrangement and save all this angst!!