Yes, it's about the Olympics AND moms, but this is interesting

ZombieNates · August 2012

CN: Author asks why there's such a large focus placed on the motherhood of female athletes, but not really on the fatherhood of male athletes. She posits that society consistently defines women in terms of their role as mothers, instead of mainly focusing on their accomplishments and what brought them to the Olympics in the first place.

http://www.salon.com/2012/07/31/olympic_moms_have_it_all/

I thought this was interesting in light of all the discussions we've been having about mommy judgment lately. Is there too much emphasis placed on motherhood? Do women become mothers first, then everything else second?

AllAboutTheBenjamin · August 2012

Maybe it's just me, but I don't think the emphasis on moms sticks it to dads. When I think about my own mother - and it could have just been the nature of my dad's job and him not being around as much - my mother worked tirelessly around the clock for us. She got us ready in the morning, she made all our meals, she shopped for all our clothes, since she was the one who was always home it was mostly her job to discipline us. She took us to all our skating and dance practices and competitions. My dad could only ever come to a recital if it was in town, but my mom was always on the road. And she was always the one making the costumes.

In our case, our mother definitely played more of a role in THAT sense, do you know what I mean? Our father is a great dad. He works very, very hard and he provided for us in such an amazing way that even just to think about brings me to tears. But my mom definitely put in a hell of a lot of work with us.

This doesn't mean that there aren't dads who do all these things, but it's probably less of a norm? I definitely knew girls on my skating and dance teams whose moms were the ones out making all the money and the dads were doing all the kid stuff.

I think being a parent is an amazing role but in some families one parent will just end up putting in the exhaustive time... and it just seems as though in most cases, that parent is the mother.

lbarr088 · August 2012

I think the article is inspiring and puts stress on moms at the same time. I mean, look at these Olympians who train and work hard to earn medals and are also great moms. Not only did they go through birthing children but they were able to get back into Olympic shape and care for their kids in the midst of it all. Also in the case of Gabby Douglas, her mom struggled to get her the training she needed, etc. These stories are all inspiring.

At the same time I think in a way it puts pressure on everyday moms who aren't Olympians or haven't raised an Olympian. It's like looking at the sacrafices and the incredibly hard work the athletes and their families have put in sets the bar really high for moms, in a way.

ZombieNates · August 2012

Well I was going to let others respond first, but it's slow as balls in here.

I'm divided. I'm ITA with DJ regarding the stresses of having a baby on the body. For sure the male athletes do not need to overcome that, no matter how involved they are as fathers. That is a huge accomplishment for an athlete.

At the same time, I really liked this part of the article:
But I still can’t help longing for the day when being a mother who also has her own professional achievements – whether as a CEO or an Olympic medalist – is no big deal. When it’s understood that motherhood and everything else in a woman’s life and career are not at odds.

There's way too much focus on ZOMG CAN SHE DO HER JOB IF SHE'S A PARENT!!! and men never get that criticism. Think--interviewers admit that sometimes it's an asset for a man to be married, but it can be seen as a potential issue for a woman to be married. That kind of fvckery needs to end.

AllAboutTheBenjamin · August 2012

Maybe people put moms on higher pedestals - IE, gawk at her accomplishments - because our society just expects moms to do it all, kwim? Being a mom is hard. Being a CEO is hard. Being an Olympian is hard. OMG BEING A CEO OLYMPIAN MOM? WHAT IS THIS?

ZombieNates · August 2012

Oh, and that was the same case for me, AATB. My dad is a good man and I have lots of great memories of the stuff he taught me/did with me. But my mom is the one who raised me, day in and day out, especially when it was difficult.

So I can see that being a big focal point--look, women put in the day-to-day effort with kids and are STILL Olympians---but I feel like that just sets us up to expect women to shoulder the burden, I guess. I don't know. My feelings on this are muddled.

Brandi0714 · August 2012

My Dad got sole custody of us when I was only a few months old and my brother was 2. He went to work, cooked, cleaned, grocery shopped... everything. This was back in the late 80's and early 90's when it was pretty unheard of for a man to win a full on custody battle. I hate that Dad's don't get the credit they should. No, not all, but the good ones definitely aren't recognized like they should be. I know there are probably fewer cases like mine than there are of Mom's who do it all, but my Dad is/was an amazing man. I am so lucky to have had him.

I'm sure my views are skewed because of my upbringing, but aside from the actual birth of a child, I don't think that women should get more credit than men by default.

Girlie1030 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_yes-its-about-the-olympics-and-moms-but-this-is-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:325aa157-a259-4f5d-a041-4aff0e7944d8Post:b1bf47c0-62f2-40ab-94dd-55b8f410249a">Re: Yes, it's about the Olympics AND moms, but this is interesting</a>:
[QUOTE]Maybe people put moms on higher pedestals - IE, gawk at her accomplishments - because our society just expects moms to do it all, kwim? Being a mom is hard. Being a CEO is hard. Being an Olympian is hard. OMG BEING A CEO OLYMPIAN MOM? WHAT IS THIS?
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

This makes the most sense to me. I don't think it's a slight to fathers, but historically speaking, mom's have been the primary caregiver, disciplinarian, chauffeur and personal shopper and many continue that role in addition to their role as CEO or Olympian. As we see more SAHDs or mom's being the primary breadwinner, maybe it won't be such a ZOMG thing when a mom is also a CEO Olympian. The shift may just not happen as quickly as some would like.

AdeleDazeem · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_yes-its-about-the-olympics-and-moms-but-this-is-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:325aa157-a259-4f5d-a041-4aff0e7944d8Post:6cccda49-fe59-4a60-a468-ce2e4295d14e">Re: Yes, it's about the Olympics AND moms, but this is interesting</a>:
[QUOTE] I'm sure my views are skewed because of my upbringing, but aside from the actual birth of a child, I don't think that women should get more credit than men by default.
Posted by Brandi0714[/QUOTE]

This. SO much this.

There's a commercial on during the Olympics from a major company (can't remember the name) where the end of it is "Thank you, Moms!" My husband and I watched it and said "Screw the Dads?"

Why do the Moms of the athletes get the thanks? Because they birthed them and then drove them to practice? I was a competitive swimmer for ten years. My mom drove me to practice, came to my meets, etc... but so did my Dad. Perhaps not the same amount as my mother, but he was off making a money so that I could buy caps, goggles, high end swim gear and pay the fees at the clubs I swam at. I could never have achieved what I did without both of them.

"Thank you, Moms." Argh. It stll makes me mad!

AllAboutTheBenjamin · August 2012

Tbh, thinking about becoming a mom on top of all the shiiit I already do makes me break out in hives.

Like yesterday for example. I got up at 6:45, had my coffee and breakfast and got ready for work. Was at work from 9 to 5. Came home - yay, leftovers so no cooking! Then I took Lucy to the park for an hour and a half. Took her home, then went and worked out at the gym for an hour and a half. Came home, did the dishes that were in the sink and prepped dinner for tonight by throwing everything in the crock pot. Then I took a shower because hey, I was all nasty from the gym.

When I was done with all this, it was midnight. It was then that I attempted to catch up on the Olympics on my DVR, lol. Went to bed at 1am. Rinse repeat for today.

Throwing children in the middle of all that? Yikes. For real, I would die. And a lot of the stuff I do, I do for myself. When you have kids, more of what you do becomes for them, you know?

Brandi0714 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_yes-its-about-the-olympics-and-moms-but-this-is-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:325aa157-a259-4f5d-a041-4aff0e7944d8Post:3416c2b6-fe0c-4e82-8a0b-12568d85d4b0">Re: Yes, it's about the Olympics AND moms, but this is interesting</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Yes, it's about the Olympics AND moms, but this is interesting : This. SO much this.<strong> There's a commercial on during the Olympics from a major company (can't remember the name) where the end of it is "Thank you, Moms!" My husband and I watched it and said "Screw the Dads?" </strong>Why do the Moms of the athletes get the thanks? Because they birthed them and then drove them to practice? I was a competitive swimmer for ten years. My mom drove me to practice, came to my meets, etc... but so did my Dad. Perhaps not the same amount as my mother, but he was off making a money so that I could buy caps, goggles, high end swim gear and pay the fees at the clubs I swam at. I could never have achieved what I did without both of them. "Thank you, Moms." Argh. It stll makes me mad!
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

Ditto. I looked at H and said "What about the Dad's?". There were tons of Dad's in the stands!

arwo · August 2012

I think there is a LOT of bias when it comes to women in sports. It is one of my (rational, I think) irritations about watching women's sports. I haven't been watching the Olympics this year (no TV) but I watch a lot of running events. (I can only talk about running stuff, so be warned.)

In addition to the focus on motherhood, there is an inordinate amount of time spent on discussing women's weight. I understand that as athletes, it makes sense to focus on their bodies, but you can watch entire marathons without hearing the weight of a single male competitor. Did you know that Ryan Hall only weighs 130 pounds? I didn't until I looked it up. Nobody talks about it.

The same cannot be said for the women, not by a long shot. And if the woman has recently had a baby (like Kara Goucher at the 2011 Boston Marathon), you will not only hear about her current weight, but you'll hear about how much weight she gained during the pregnancy as well. (35 pounds! OMG, what a fat ass!) I do understand that pregnancy takes a toll on a body (no really, I understand), and for runners, being in "racing trim" is important, but it is something that they talk about a lot more for the women than they do for the men.

It always seems like the commentators can't believe that we would actually be interested in hearing about the sport part of what the women are doing; so we have to focus on something "softer" like their weight or their motherhood.

katiewhompus · August 2012

Isn't it P&G (Johnson and Johnson) who ran the commercials? Does it really surprise you if that is mom-centric?

AdeleDazeem · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_yes-its-about-the-olympics-and-moms-but-this-is-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:325aa157-a259-4f5d-a041-4aff0e7944d8Post:3dac5ecb-c9ce-4ce6-849a-ea8c7f2ea91b">Re: Yes, it's about the Olympics AND moms, but this is interesting</a>:
[QUOTE]Isn't it P&G (Johnson and Johnson) who ran the commercials? Does it really surprise you if that is mom-centric?
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

I thought it was P&G.

And, well, yes. I'm actually surprised that more people aren't pissed off by that commericlal.

katiewhompus · August 2012

Eh, I guess I'm just used to seeing/accepting commercials from a baby brand being mom-centric. They know their demographic and how to get the desired response.

It might also be my upbringing too. I was a very active little kid and yes, it was my mom who was waking me up at 2am, driving me to the stable, gymnastics, ballet, etc. It makes for a less impactful tv spot to show dad working in the background.

That particular ad also came out on Mother's Day, so there is that as well.

AdeleDazeem · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_yes-its-about-the-olympics-and-moms-but-this-is-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:325aa157-a259-4f5d-a041-4aff0e7944d8Post:78f4bb6a-334d-4517-bb78-4aa2e8e0bd34">Re: Yes, it's about the Olympics AND moms, but this is interesting</a>:
[QUOTE]Eh, I guess I'm just used to seeing/accepting commercials from a baby brand being mom-centric. They know their demographic and how to get the desired response. It might also be my upbringing too. I was a very active little kid and yes, it was my mom who was waking me up at 2am, driving me to the stable, gymnastics, ballet, etc. It makes for a less impactful tv spot to show dad working in the background. That particular ad also came out on Mother's Day, so there is that as well.
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

But I think this mindset is just perpetuating the stereotype that is displayed in this ad (so vividly) and in the article posted. My father didn't go to each and every event, but he was in no way LESS supportive of his children's activities. I think it's really sad that others see it as so.

Fathers are marginalized in TV shows now (Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin are bumbling idiots with smart wives). It's just ... wrong. Mothers don't do EVERYTHING under the sun. Please. Perspective.

katiewhompus · August 2012

Neither parent does "everything", so it's all about what will sell the brand/product or get the desired result. Is it right? No, but it's marketing. Yes dad's are involved in kids lives but, in general (and from my experience as a child and a mom and seeing those around me) it's in a far less direct way and would be harder to do a 30 second commercial on. I think that is changing now as more dad's are able to stay at home and more mom's are working, but it is going to take time for the public to see that change.

mehgank · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_yes-its-about-the-olympics-and-moms-but-this-is-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:325aa157-a259-4f5d-a041-4aff0e7944d8Post:a0afade4-721c-4695-8315-e12b1f609684">Re: Yes, it's about the Olympics AND moms, but this is interesting</a>:
[QUOTE]In addition to the focus on motherhood, <strong>there is an inordinate amount of time spent on discussing women's weight</strong>. I understand that as athletes, it makes sense to focus on their bodies, but you can watch entire marathons without hearing the weight of a single male competitor. Did you know that Ryan Hall only weighs 130 pounds? I didn't until I looked it up. Nobody talks about it. <strong>The same cannot be said for the women, not by a long shot.</strong> And if the woman has recently had a baby (like Kara Goucher at the 2011 Boston Marathon), you will not only hear about her current weight, but you'll hear about how much weight she gained during the pregnancy as well. (35 pounds! OMG, what a fat ass!) I do understand that pregnancy takes a toll on a body (no really, I understand), and for runners, being in "racing trim" is important, but it is something that they talk about a lot more for the women than they do for the men. It always seems like the commentators can't believe that we would actually be interested in hearing about the sport part of what the women are doing; so we have to focus on something "softer" like their weight or their motherhood.
Posted by arwo[/QUOTE]

I completely agree. I was just reading a <a href="http://hellogiggles.com/whats-the-easiest-way-to-negate-a-womans-success-call-her-fat" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">blog post </a><----clicky about how calling a woman fat basically negates her accomplishments, and Olympians are prime subjects for this type of scrutiny.

Coming from a strong dance background, I do catch myself judging athlete's bodies, but it's almost always in a positive light. Even last night, I commented to my H that I admired one of the Russian gymnast's legs, how she had great extension and they looked a mile long.

ZombieNates · August 2012

Okay, the ad is mom-centric (which I don't think is right either, but I agree that it's effective marketing), but it's the overall pervasive focus on the ZOMGMOM that I think needs to change. I don't like that women are defined by this one role when there are so many other equally important things they do or can do. Why is it all overshadowed by motherhood? Maybe that's a UO, but can't they be people first?

And like Arwo said, there's a different focus placed on women in sports as opposed to male athletes.

ZombieNates · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_yes-its-about-the-olympics-and-moms-but-this-is-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:325aa157-a259-4f5d-a041-4aff0e7944d8Post:fb789e71-2684-4080-b102-590c81006d1c">Re: Yes, it's about the Olympics AND moms, but this is interesting</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Yes, it's about the Olympics AND moms, but this is interesting : Agreed, and I think it goes both ways and<strong> harms both genders.</strong> EVERY mom is supermom. No, not every mom is supermom. Moms don't have the hardest job ever on the planet imaginable. Just like everything else, there are good moms, great moms, and tbh, crappy moms. There are great dads, good dads, and absent dads. Every group has people across the spectrum. But our society, when it comes to parenting too often marginalizes men and exalts women. But then at the same time, I think in part because of this, <strong>women are both judged more harshly but also expected to do more</strong>. Also, their other achievements may get ignored to focus on the SUPERMOM!!!!!! portion of it.
Posted by djhar[/QUOTE]
Totally agree with this.

The view is you'd better be a supermom, but you'll probably suck no matter what your choices are. Working mom? You suck and neglect your kids AND your job. SAHM? You suck and have no identity. BF? You're a cow. Not BF? You hate your baby. And then in the midst of all of that is the expectation that you'd better have superb, amazing kids because that's your main accomplishment in life--not anything you might do BY or FOR yourself.

And then men are either expected to be secondary parents because, you know, they're just so stupid and can't take care of a kid OR they are ignored OR they're expected to be absentees since men suck.

The view just helps no one.

AdeleDazeem · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_yes-its-about-the-olympics-and-moms-but-this-is-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:325aa157-a259-4f5d-a041-4aff0e7944d8Post:45c02d92-dee3-41af-9c2a-519032936575">Re: Yes, it's about the Olympics AND moms, but this is interesting</a>:
[QUOTE]Okay, the ad is mom-centric (which I don't think is right either, but I agree that it's effective marketing), but it's the overall pervasive focus on the ZOMGMOM that I think needs to change.
Posted by ZombieNates[/QUOTE]

Agreed.

cheeseandrice · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_yes-its-about-the-olympics-and-moms-but-this-is-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:325aa157-a259-4f5d-a041-4aff0e7944d8Post:fbea1cd3-1a1e-461f-b270-59a1a39d5f1c">Re: Yes, it's about the Olympics AND moms, but this is interesting</a>:
[QUOTE] At the same time, I really liked this part of the article: But I still can’t help longing for the day when being a mother who also has her own professional achievements – whether as a CEO or an Olympic medalist – is no big deal. When it’s understood that motherhood and everything else in a woman’s life and career are not at odds. There's way too much focus on ZOMG CAN SHE DO HER JOB IF SHE'S A PARENT!!! and men never get that criticism.
Posted by ZombieNates[/QUOTE]

But, then women need to stop expecting preferential treatment just for being a mom, no?

AdeleDazeem · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_yes-its-about-the-olympics-and-moms-but-this-is-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:325aa157-a259-4f5d-a041-4aff0e7944d8Post:299f115a-e9ed-4842-866c-3f82a7cab7c3">Re: Yes, it's about the Olympics AND moms, but this is interesting</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Yes, it's about the Olympics AND moms, but this is interesting : Totally agree with this. The view is you'd better be a supermom, but you'll probably suck no matter what your choices are. Working mom? You suck and neglect your kids AND your job. SAHM? You suck and have no identity. BF? You're a cow. Not BF? You hate your baby. And then in the midst of all of that is the expectation that you'd better have superb, amazing kids because that's your main accomplishment in life--not anything you might do BY or FOR yourself. And then men are either expected to be secondary parents because, you know, they're just so stupid and can't take care of a kid OR they are ignored OR they're expected to be absentees since men suck. The view just helps no one.
Posted by ZombieNates[/QUOTE]

Oh crap, I just read this and totally agree, too!

I know my advertisement post was slightly off topic, but it fell within the "Mom" category so I got it off my chest, but this post really encompasses my feelings on both topics.

Wiscisbliss · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_yes-its-about-the-olympics-and-moms-but-this-is-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:325aa157-a259-4f5d-a041-4aff0e7944d8Post:e50f0363-eec9-4ec5-b81b-c7c4091b8c4e">Re: Yes, it's about the Olympics AND moms, but this is interesting</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Yes, it's about the Olympics AND moms, but this is interesting : But, then women need to stop expecting preferential treatment just for being a mom, no?
Posted by Steph+J[/QUOTE]

This is where I have problems. In order to recover from child birth (because I am the one with ovaries) I need preferential treatment at work. In order to BF my baby (like NY City will shame you in to) I need preferential treatment at work.

Does it have to be preferential to acknowledge that men and women are different?

ZombieNates · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_yes-its-about-the-olympics-and-moms-but-this-is-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:325aa157-a259-4f5d-a041-4aff0e7944d8Post:e50f0363-eec9-4ec5-b81b-c7c4091b8c4e">Re: Yes, it's about the Olympics AND moms, but this is interesting</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Yes, it's about the Olympics AND moms, but this is interesting : But, then women need to stop expecting preferential treatment just for being a mom, no?
Posted by Steph+J[/QUOTE]
Absolutely. I mean, I'm not sure what preferential treatment you're specifically talking about, but I hate things like expectant mother parking, parents leaving early for kid's events, etc. No. You do not get extre benefits because you created a kid.

cheeseandrice · August 2012

Nates/DJ summed up my thoughts

Wisc- that's different. Although I totally agree with you too. Men and women ARE different, so why is it 'bias' to recognize that? But you can't have it both ways. You don't both get to cry that "WE'RE THE SAME!!" and then say you need more time off of work for appts, etc. Parent = parent- end of story. (actual medical time not included.)

arwo · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_yes-its-about-the-olympics-and-moms-but-this-is-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:325aa157-a259-4f5d-a041-4aff0e7944d8Post:a52ae375-ef50-4ca7-9b29-ffbc4fca0f8f">Re: Yes, it's about the Olympics AND moms, but this is interesting</a>:
[QUOTE]Nates/DJ summed up my thoughts ;) Wisc- that's different. Although I totally agree with you too. Men and women ARE different, so why is it 'bias' to recognize that? But you can't have it both ways. You don't both get to cry that "WE'RE THE SAME!!" and then say you need more time off of work for appts, etc. Parent = parent- end of story. (actual medical time not included.)
Posted by Steph+J[/QUOTE]

<div>It's "bias" when men and women are participating in the exact same event but the commentators talk about running form and race tactics and strength for men, and body weight and motherhood for women. All of those things may be affecting performance for both men and women. I am sure that body weight and fatherhood affect male runners, and I am sure that running form and strength affect female runners. So why is there such a huge difference in the amounts of time spent talking about them depending on the sex of the athletes?</div><div>
</div><div>And I've said this before, but I think lack of paternity leave in this country sucks fucking ass.</div>

cheeseandrice · August 2012

oh, I totally agree Arwo. I wasn't talking about the sports thing.

I got distracted and meant more about work stuff. Honestly? unless the sport is divided by weight class and therefore weight is actually relevant... there's not a damn reason to talk about it.

ZombieNates · August 2012

What do you guys think of maternity leave/benefits in general? I know the U.S. is criticized a lot for having some of the worst maternity leave benefits.

arwo · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_yes-its-about-the-olympics-and-moms-but-this-is-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:325aa157-a259-4f5d-a041-4aff0e7944d8Post:0bb16232-4962-44a5-9f98-457eba619d2f">Re: Yes, it's about the Olympics AND moms, but this is interesting</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Yes, it's about the Olympics AND moms, but this is interesting : I think government mandated maternity benefits harm women in the workplace and are honestly, unfair to women who either can't or choose not to reproduce. I think a company should have the right to extend what they want as a benefit to their employees, but too often, they really harm women overall in the workplace. I know it's an unpopular opinion, but when one person gets an addition 6-8 weeks off for a choice they made, I don't think it's the most fair solution.
Posted by djhar[/QUOTE]

<div>What would be a better solution? </div><div>
</div><div>ETA: I guess I really don't see how mandated maternity leave is unfair for people who don't have kids. It's not like women on maternity leave are luxuriating in all their free time just because they don't have to go to work.</div>

arwo · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_yes-its-about-the-olympics-and-moms-but-this-is-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:325aa157-a259-4f5d-a041-4aff0e7944d8Post:ece6ec3f-8c3d-4532-872e-fbc2af2e03e0">Re: Yes, it's about the Olympics AND moms, but this is interesting</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it should be handled however a company handles other sick/medical leave. At my company, that would be you use your sick time and once that's gone, you use your vacation time. After that, you can take time unpaid. I don't feel it's my company or government's job to subsidize the fact that I chose to have a baby.
Posted by djhar[/QUOTE]

<div>I would love paid maternity leave. I think part of a government's job IS to support its children, frankly. Future of society and all that, but I'm a socialist. Well, social democrat, really. But what do you think the function of government is? (That's an actual question, I'm not trying to be a smart ass.)</div><div>
</div><div>I still don't see how it's unfair to women without children. Is it unfair to people that aren't sick that some people take sick leave? Some illnesses or injuries are caused by choices people make, aren't they? Should those not be covered either?</div><div>
</div><div>Six states (7, maybe starting in 2015) and Puerto Rico have paid maternity leave (three of those states treat pregnancy as a disability, so I guess that's like sick leave, if you want). Only PR requires 100% of wages paid. For the most part, I just want some assurance that I am not going to be fired because I can't work for a few weeks after I have a kid. And I think if you leave it entirely up to companies about what benefits are offered, it ends up leading to a lot of inequality on the workforce.</div><div>
</div><div>At the moment (I *think*) FMLA requires that people get (unpaid) leave for a variety of reasons, including pregancy, illness, etc. I don't think that particularly biases things in favor of breeders.</div>

Yes, it's about the Olympics AND moms, but this is interesting

Re: Yes, it's about the Olympics AND moms, but this is interesting

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

Yes, it's about the Olympics AND moms, but this is interesting

Re: Yes, it&#039;s about the Olympics AND moms, but this is interesting

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

Re: Yes, it's about the Olympics AND moms, but this is interesting