Alcohol at a baby shower???

estegeman · June 2012

Hi ladies, this is technically not a wedding related question but I thought you ladies would give the best advice on this question. I am throwing my friend a baby shower and I am wondering if it is rude to serve alcohol...wine or mimosas...at a baby shower? Is it rude since the mom cant really drink or is it alright because the other women should be able to drink if they want?

TIA!!!

Meegles4 · June 2012

I voted no...mostly because I'd want to drink ;-)

I'd say you're fine to go with one alcoholic selection -- like mimosas -- and not overdo the alcohol. I also think it'd be cool to do punches. So, one fun punch with alcohol and one without. Or one alcohol-free punch, and the mimosas.

adamar15 · June 2012

Have you asked the mom how she feels? I've been to a couple of baby showers with alcohol, but that's just how H's family rolls. Most of the ones I've gone to have been dry.

pkontk · June 2012

I've only been to a few baby showers, but I'm pretty sure they all had alcohol (except maybe the one at the church... but I was seven then and the church was full of partiers so who knows.)

Ask the mom-to-be how she feels, and hopefully she won't mind. Maybe you could also provide a fun fruity non-alcoholic punch as well.

Stackeye210 · June 2012

I'd leave it up to the mother to be. I encouraged people to drink at my shower, I don't see it as being inappropriate. They were celebrating, and the shower was a lot of fun.

achiduck · June 2012

I have never been to a baby shower that had alcohol. I don't think it would bother me if there was, but I might be a bit surprised since it isn't common in my family.

Megbo2012 · June 2012

Another vote for ask mommy to be. I wouldnt mind it because I don't drink anyways, but I don't think it's really appropriate for a baby shower? Idk it also depends where it is, and the group.

estegeman · June 2012

Thanks ladies. I will ask the mom-to-be. I just havent asked her yet because she is so super polite that she will say that she doesnt mind at all. I just didnt want her to feel bad if we have alcohol there.

midgetthemighty · June 2012

I'm not voting in your poll because I agree with PPs about asking the mommy to be. Some would be offended if you had it, others would be offended you didn't.

gurrlballa10 · June 2012

I've never been to a baby shower that didn't have alcohol. Just a punch and some wine, along with a non-alcoholic punch. It would be weird in my group if there wan'ts alcohol there.

specialk84 · June 2012

I think it depends on how the mom feels and what the norm is in your group.

In my extended family, every GTG is an excuse for drinking. In H's extended family, drinking rarely happens. Among my friends, everyone is split over whether drinking at a baby shower is appropriate. About half the showers I've gone to have had booze, but it's been punch.

FTR, should I ever be on the receiving end of a baby shower, I'll be encouraging the hostess to provide alcohol.

ootmother2 · June 2012

Most of the showers I've attended have been brunch so mimosas, champagne & wine were served

I don't see how that inappropriate

saacjw · June 2012

Totally depends on the mom-to-be and social circle. The last shower I was at, the mom was literally PUSHING alcohol on us, because she had a bunch in her fridge from an earlier get together and her husband wasn't enough of a drinker to go through it.

SarahPLiz · June 2012

It depends on the mom. If giving up alcohol was a big thing for her, then it might be insensitive to her. If she's not a big drinker and going without was not a big deal to her, then it would probably be perfectly fine.

Summer2011Bride · June 2012

I don't see it as inappropriate. It's not like people will be throwing back shots or getting wasted. Like Rach said, to me it's the equivalent of going out for brunch and getting a Mimosa. I think as long as you have plenty of non-alcoholic options that are yummy (not just water, for instance), it should be fine, since you said the mother will most likely go along with what you decide.

LDYGTR13 · June 2012

In my circle, if you're getting together, there will be alcohol. Even just like champagne and lemonade or rum punch or something. So, I'd be shocked if those weren't available at my babyshower. HOWEVER - I'd ask the mom to be.

Habs2Hart · June 2012

I think it's fine, but we usually stick to punch (Non Alc) and tea at baby showers, because we are boring like that. It also depends on the bride/pregly lady and what they and their families are accustomed too.

Soon2BeMrsTing · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_alcohol-at-a-baby-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3baa7e53-0e43-4c4c-8862-866e2e0425e2Post:ef169154-8482-4956-ad86-aebbc532714d">Re:Alcohol at a baby shower???</a>:
[QUOTE]I said inappropriate because in my mind, I liken it to drinking at a 20 yr old bride's bparty, which I would also never do or serving a sugary cake at a diabetic's birthday. When you're throwing a party in honor of someone, I just don't think it's right to sit around enjoying something the guest of honor cannot have in front of them. Clearly, I am in the minority though.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

This is kinda how I feel. If I were throwing a party now, in my thirty-fourth week of pregnancy, I would provide alcohol. But if it were served at my baby shower this coming Saturday, it would be a little bit of a downer for me to see everyone imbibing at a party in my honor when I've been abstaining for so long. I've also never really seen alcohol served at baby showers in my group, though. They've been conspicuously dry occasions.

I agree with others, that it would be good to ask the mom-to-be what she prefers. If she doesn't mind, and if it's normative in the group to provide alcohol, then I don't see a problem.

AdeleDazeem · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_alcohol-at-a-baby-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3baa7e53-0e43-4c4c-8862-866e2e0425e2Post:ef169154-8482-4956-ad86-aebbc532714d">Re:Alcohol at a baby shower???</a>:
[QUOTE]I said inappropriate because in my mind, I liken it to drinking at a 20 yr old bride's bparty, which I would also never do or serving a sugary cake at a diabetic's birthday. When you're throwing a party in honor of someone, I just don't think it's right to sit around enjoying something the guest of honor cannot have in front of them. Clearly, I am in the minority though.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

A few years ago, this is definitely how I thought. I also used to think that alcohol at 1st birthday parties was a crazy. Now that my friends and cousins are having kids and throwing these parties, I'm realizing that, at least in our circles, alcohol is fine at all parties. Deep down, I still find it odd, but I don't bat an eye at it anymore and usually partake.

I agree with asking how the mother to be how she feels about it, though!

DreamCLG7 · June 2012

there's always alcohol at our baby showers. it was served at my baby shower, and let me tell you, i was not the least bit offended and it did not hurt my feelers.

Matty143 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_alcohol-at-a-baby-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3baa7e53-0e43-4c4c-8862-866e2e0425e2Post:44487d31-9aac-49f3-ab0a-58b2d9a2b79c">Re: Alcohol at a baby shower???</a>:
[QUOTE]In my circle, if you're getting together, there will be alcohol. Even just like champagne and lemonade or rum punch or something. So, I'd be shocked if those weren't available at my babyshower. HOWEVER - I'd ask the mom to be.
Posted by LDYGTR13[/QUOTE]

Ditto this.
Every single baby shower I have attended or hosted has had at least champagne and a punch.
I mean, it can be boring to sit there stone cold sober oohing and awwing over receiving blankets.

specialk84 · June 2012

Stage, you know diabetics can have cake, right? Not a whole cake, but a small piece. My mom scrapes off most of the frosting, and she plans her food for the rest of the day knowing she'll have cake.

mbuckley85 · June 2012

I think it's fine. I would serve mimosas if it's a morning shower and punch otherwise, as long as it's ok with the mom-to-be. I definitely wouldn't have more than one alcoholic beverage option though.

ETA: Hyphens...what the heck is a momtobe? LOL

amys325 · June 2012

I definitely agree with the PPs who suggested talking to the momma to be.

I know if i was the momma to be, I would encourage the host to provide alcohol for my guests. Who wants to sit around and watch someone open baby gifts without alcohol?

DramaGeek · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_alcohol-at-a-baby-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3baa7e53-0e43-4c4c-8862-866e2e0425e2Post:e618f115-f98e-451d-aa15-5114c30786e7">Re:Alcohol at a baby shower???</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it's pretty rude, personally, and sort of inappropriate to boot.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

As usual, I agree with Stage. I do know that a lot of people serve those things at baby showers, though I've never been to a shower with alcohol.

SparrowSong · June 2012

I didn't realize pregnant women were so desperate for alcohol that even daring to consume it in their presense was rude. *singing the pregnant women are smug song in my head*

I've been to showers both with and without alcohol. They aren't exactly raging keg-stand events, and usually are held in early afternoon when people aren't looking to get buzzed. But if a beer or cocktail makes it easier to feign excitement over yet another tiny onesie with a puppy on the front, then yay. Showers are boring.

nlindsay17 · June 2012

I don't think it's rude at all. To even think a mother to be would be upset at other people drinking a mimosa in front of her is ridiculous. Is her husband not allowed a beer? If she is a smoker is no one allowed to go outside for a cigarette? I have been to many showers that offer mimosas,bloody marys or wine and I have never heard of any pregnant women getting upset that they can't have any.

tpender13 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_alcohol-at-a-baby-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3baa7e53-0e43-4c4c-8862-866e2e0425e2Post:c8385113-4cc8-4fe5-b98c-16d0966cad16">Re: Alcohol at a baby shower???</a>:
[QUOTE]I didn't realize pregnant women were so desperate for alcohol that even daring to consume it in their presense was rude. <strong>*singing the pregnant women are smug song in my head*</strong> I've been to showers both with and without alcohol. They aren't exactly raging keg-stand events, and usually are held in early afternoon when people aren't looking to get buzzed. But if a beer or cocktail makes it easier to feign excitement over yet another tiny onesie with a puppy on the front, then yay. Showers are boring.
Posted by SparrowSong[/QUOTE]

I love that song! Garfunkel and Oates rock my socks!

Another vote for ask the mom-to-be. I've known some women who had a really hard time, or were at least very bummed out, not drinking during their pregnancy, and if alcohol were served at a party in their honor, they wouldn't be happy. Though most people I know would be happy to have everyone drinking a few and having a good time.

mbuckley85 · June 2012

Another comment: You wouldn't serve decaf coffee and non-caffeinated soda just because pregnant people should stay away from caffeine, right?

I think there are studies that say you can have a drink while you are pregnant, like a single glass of wine. While I wouldn't be caught dead doing it, I'm sure that there are people that will do it just because the study says you can...

melb2013 · June 2012

I think it's up to the mom. I've never been at a baby shower without wine.

casyme · June 2012

Alcohol is the only way I can get through a baby shower.

Alcohol at a baby shower???

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