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September 2012 Weddings
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Guest List..
My FI and I are getting married late September and are getting ready to send out STD. The thing is, his dad is the youngest of 15 children, meaning his cousins range from 30-50 years old, and then you have to include their children who we are closer to, due to our age. Our guest list is close to 200-225 people. I am having a bit of a panic attack. I'm not too sure what to do. I would like to narrow it down to just close family, but I know that I would have to include my aunts and uncles (my father passed away 3 years ago and they have to be there to represent my father). It's not fair for me to have my aunts and uncles and not allow him to have his. I'm lost, please help!!
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Re: Guest List..
Getting married at 32-34 really expands your "circles" LOL
I would think if you want to invite your FI's cousins children you have to invite the cousins themselves and just hope for the best... that many won't be able to come - horrible to say, but true!
Ugh, we're dealing with the same thing. My father is one of 7, and MIL is one of 5. I have about 20 first cousins! When you start including them, plus guests it gets really out of control. And I can totally relate with the panic attack. I am so anxious doing my guest list. I wanted to keep it at 150 max. We're already at 200 and growing. Best part is, my FI and I are only inviting like 10 friends. the rest is family. i am STILL waiting on my FIL to provide me with a list. He needed to send it to his sister-in-law to make sure he didn't "forget" anyone.
Sorry, I'm not much help. Like I said, we're dealing with the same exact thing. It stinks. Whoever said that planning a wedding is test to see if you can survive a marriage was 100% right. It's already given me my first grey hair.
As for FFIL, we had to stop the madness quickly because the guest list is set for only 60 people (small wedding). FFIL was spreading the word like he was Paul Revere. FI (who isnt that close to his extended family either) decided that he only wanted certain family members at the wedding to begin with so he made his list, told FFIL that this for his side of the family.
Friends are mostly people we all mutually have connections between each other. After it was said and done with got it down to 54 total with the room for 6 more if needed. This is the only time we both turned into zillas cause we didn't want a huge wedding to begin with. WIshing you the best in your choices!
I'd try to cut the cousins if you can.
[QUOTE]Here's the thing... both of our families are making a 12 hour trip for our wedding. Also we moved our wedding to a Friday, so we're hoping that helps out as well. The thing is two years ago my FI's brother got married, all of my FI's family live in WI and they had the same issue we are having. The majority of them made the 24hour trip down to their wedding in GA. Ours is half the distance so what makes them not want to come? Yes the first cousins of my FI are all older (30's and up) but that won't stop them from coming to the wedding. There are only a few second cousins that he is close to and those ones are in our wedding, so really we are cutting off at the first cousins, except for a few. Our venue can hold up to 250 but that is really pushing it, I don't want my guest to be jam packed. <strong>We are allowing children, seeing as how I have much younger cousins than my FI and are having them apart of the wedding so of course want them at the reception.
</strong>Posted by lv0408307[/QUOTE]
Does this mean you are allowing small children on FI's side too? For instance his second cousins kids? If so, I'd draw the line there and say the only reason there are little kids on your side and not his is because they are 1st cousins. If you make the rule first cousins only (excluding WP, the same rules never apply to them haha) regardless of age, you may be able to cut some on his side. Also, just because they traveled for FI's bro's wedding years ago doesn't mean they will for yours necessarily. They will WANT to, but could be in a different financial spot, not have days off work, have an extra kid now, etc. I think the less time you give them to prepare to travel, the easier it is for them to not be able to make it (so send invites out 6-8 weeks before, no more and skip a save the date). Also, is it an option to invite none of the Police Dept? I get that if you invite one you have to invite all, but it seems unfair to me that you only have 10 friends when FI has all this family and every coworker regardless of if he's close with them. If he invited none of them (minus any included in the WP) he could still have a bachelor party with them and as long as he explained the situation I'm sure they'd understand. I know it's a tight brotherhood but this seems really out of balance for you.
As for the police department and the unit, the FI and I have had the talk about not inviting all of them and he's limited it down. He just throws it out there that he served in Afghan with these guys for a year and the others are protecting him every day, he can't not invite them.