Bridesmaid Dress Problem

AnneMargaret · December 2009

Ok, so I have 3 bridesmaids (sizes 2, 10, and 6ish(?)). When we were discussing BM dresses, I narrowed it down to 3 and asked their opinions. They agreed on this one: http://www.watters.com/product.php?coll=wtoo&showid=995
because it is A-line so they figured it would hide the hip area. The sample at the bridal salon is a size 10, so when the size 2 girl tried it on (a few weeks ago) she had to have it clipped in the back, but it looked really cute. Today, I went with the size 10 girl to get measured and put down her deposit. She tried it on since it was the same size that she needs. But it fits her a little funny - the bottom of the sash hits right at the top of her hips, kind of at the love handle area. It wasn't all that flattering. She said that she will hit the gym (most of her weight has been gained recently due to medications) and that she'll get a pair of Spanx. But, I don't want her to spend $200 on a dress that she may not look good in! And, what if it does that to all of the girls when it comes in their sizes and isn't clipped in the back? My third BM hasn't tried it on yet. The bridal shop doesn't actually order the dresses until they have the deposits from everyone in the wedding party, so I could potentially pick out another dress, as long as we stick w/ the same store. Opinions? I put a lot of time into picking this dress out (and I really don't want to start all over again), but I really don't want my closest friends to feel uncomfortable about the way they look at my wedding! Help please!

emilykathleen511 · December 2009

Definitely have ALL the girls try on the dress before you decide! I would make sure that all the girls look good in a dress before you decide on one...or even pick a color, length, and fabric and let them each choose a dress that looks great on them.

MyNameIsNot · December 2009

I wouldn't want my girls ordering a dress until they'd all tried it on and felt great in it.

If I were in your position, I would tell each girl that you aren't in love with the fit, and to go back to the salon and try on a few dresses and pick whatever they liked out of that line in the same color and length.

In the end, you'll be a lot happier to have girls in dresses that look good on them than to have them all in the exact same dress.

The dress may fit this girl weird b/c she picked up a little weight, but it may also just not flatter her body type. Even if she dropped a few pounds, that doesn't mean it will look good on her.

gottahavashorti · December 2009

Have them choose their own with certain guidelines, or give them a few coordinating options. Losing weight doesn't necessarily mean that the dress will flatter her. If not all of the dresses work with a sash, would you be ok with having the sashes being the same color as the dresses?

Some of these might coordinate well with the dress you chose:

http://www.watters.com/dress_popup.php?showid=756

http://www.watters.com/dress_popup.php?showid=635

http://www.watters.com/dress_popup.php?showid=544

http://www.watters.com/dress_popup.php?showid=619

http://www.watters.com/dress_popup.php?showid=740

http://www.watters.com/dress_popup.php?showid=876

AnneMargaret · December 2009

It was my original plan to have them all try it on. But it has been frustratingly difficult to get them all together, especially considering I only have 3! It also doesn't help that the store still has limited hours bc of Katrina. I'll have a talk w/ the BM that tried it on today, to see if she wants to buy a pair of Spanx and try it on again before they order it and we can't change our minds. She says that her sister swears by them and that they do amazing things... lol. And if she's not more comfortable in it, then we'll find another dress. Chloe's just not the kind of girl that would come out and say that she wants me to pick another one. I'll have to think about how to word this - I don't want to talk about her added weight (although she's not in denial about it - just frustrated) but it was obvious that she wasn't comfortable w/ the way that she looked.

gottahavashorti · December 2009

Just switch dresses. Can you go shopping with them separately or have them go on their own, and look at a few different options?

Weight gain really isn't necessarily the reason that the dress doesn't work for her. I love the cut of the dress otherwise, but that wide sash looks difficult to wear. My BMs are all very close in jean size, but have completely different body types. A bit of weight gain/loss or spanx would only change that to a degree.

stina93446 · December 2009

Did you have anyone try the dress on before you settled on this dress?!

Also, does SHE like how it looks on her? If she does, just stick with the dress.

MyNameIsNot · December 2009

But it has been frustratingly difficult to get them all together, especially considering I only have 3!

That's the point of the suggestion of having them each select their own from the line. They can go by themselves on their own time and choose a dress that works for them.

AnneMargaret · December 2009

No, she doesn't like how she looks in it. If she did, I wouldn't care about switching. I had two girls try it on before we decided on it - one BM and then another friend who happened to be helping me look for wedding dresses and wanted to try it on. It looked fine on both of them. But gottahavashorti suggested some really cute alternatives, and I looked at the watters site and found some more, so I'm going to go into the shop today to see what else they have that we could try on. I may end up doing 3 different dresses. I've never been a HUGE fan of different BM dresses, but if thats what it takes for them all to feel comfortable then it's not a big deal. Thanks for everyone's suggestions!

gottahavashorti · December 2009

Even if you aren't big on different dresses, Watters does seem to have a lot of dresses that are pretty similar in fabric, style, formality and shape but different enough that they may work well on different body types. I think you can still have the feel of having the same dress while actually having them in slightly different styles to suit their body types.

jenn.daniel · December 2009

If it’s just the sash that makes it look funny, could you fold it in half so it doesn’t hit her at the wrong place? It sounds like your BM might be a little short-waisted, so spanx wouldn’t really help that. Another A-line might work, or an empire waist.

PS I love that dress.

foreva2828 · December 2009

are you sure it was the right size for her? was she measured and they said she'd need a size 10? otherwise the problem may not be the dress but the fact that it is too small. I don't know much about watters dresses, but many bridesmaids' dresses are like wedding dresses-the sizing is larger than the clothing size. So the BM dress may say size 10 and the dress may be a regular size 8 or 6. I'd make sure that it's actually the size they'd order for her based on her measurements before you write off the dress. See if there's a dress in a similar style in a larger size and see if that works. I know people get weird about the sizing of these dresses, but you are the size that you are regardless of the number on the dress....all of my BMs had to order dresses that were 2 sizes bigger than their "street" size b\c of the wedding/BM sizing charts.

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