FI invited without you?

BMoreBride6 · April 2013

Have any of you been in a situation where your FI was invited to a wedding without you? How did you handle it? Thanks!

JillianNJohn · April 2013

Not a wedding but my FI was invited to a week end getaway (couples weekend) without me.... He just said sorry nope not coming.when a few ppl found out I wasn't invited they didn't go either bc it was tacky to invite couples but exclude me (I clearly don't get along with 1 of the women). My FI would never go without me

Ven&Radio · April 2013

We recently received an invitation that only had my fiancee's name on it. It was a mistake and I am invited, but I was pretty offended. The part that I found most infuriating was two different members of the family of the bride reached out to me with explanations that completely contradicted each other. It's a good lesson on why addressing is so important and to make sure my own invitations go out perfectly.

Xstatic3333 · April 2013

Once, before we were engaged but when we were a definite social unit, an invite arrived without my name on it. It arrived about a month out, so we assumed it was a b list situation. I was already scheduled to work that day anyway, and these were dear old friends of FI, so he went without me. I didn't know yet it was rude, so he had my blessing. When he got there it turns out they thought they did invite me, or at least figured he'd assume I was included. It also wasn't a b list, they had just procrastinated. They still feel guilty about it when we see them.

SlothGoals · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fi-invited-without-you?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b1e92b7b-2eb2-4879-8a37-c3a923c87d3ePost:e4346f21-7516-44f5-a8bf-378d1207f853">FI invited without you?</a>:
[QUOTE]Have any of you been in a situation where your FI was invited to a wedding without you? How did you handle it? Thanks!
Posted by katye1489[/QUOTE]

<div>I haven't been in that situation, but if I were I would have FI call the hosts and clarify with them. It could have been an honest mistake/oversight. If the hosts said anything other than "Oh my gosh, we're so sorry of course Kristbot is invited!" he wouldn't go.</div>

misssunshine17 · April 2013

In Response to Re:FI invited without you?:
[QUOTE]H and I do not attend weddings where we aren't both invited. I would recommend your FI calling the couple to make sure it isn't just a mistake. But I it isn't, I would decline and let them know why.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

This.

AddieCake · April 2013

Yes, but it was just a misunderstanding from a bride who didn't know what she was doing. If we had ever been legit not invited together, we would not have attended and would not hesitate to explain why.

TKzilla · April 2013

I have tried to imagine how the conversation goes when a couple realizes their guest list is too big for their venue or whatever... how do they come up with the single invites?

Finally one of them's just like:

harper0813 · April 2013

A year into our relationship, FI went to a wedding across the country without me, because I wasn't invited. While he was there, he got blackout drunk and cheated on me.

He vowed never to go to a wedding without me again.

NOT that this WILL happen to anyone else, but it's my freak story of FI attending a wedding without me. It scarred us both. Mostly me.

BMoreBride6 · April 2013

It's a college friend of FI that I have never met, although FI and I have been together since highschool. I'm wondering if he may not know we're engaged, and I know FI would really love to go and see his college friends he has not seen in almost a year...but I couldn't help but get a little offended. Just wanted to make sure I wasn't being the crazy one here.

Summer2011Bride · April 2013

One time H was invited to a wedding without me when we had been dating for over a year and were very serious. I also recently was listed as a "plus one" on a wedding invitation rather than by name.

If I was just all out not invited, H wouldn't be going either (he has told me this), and I would do the same if he wasn't invited but I was. It is extremely rude to split up couples.

teachmegs1 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fi-invited-without-you?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b1e92b7b-2eb2-4879-8a37-c3a923c87d3ePost:e4346f21-7516-44f5-a8bf-378d1207f853">FI invited without you?</a>:
[QUOTE]Have any of you been in a situation where your FI was invited to a wedding without you? How did you handle it? Thanks!
Posted by katye1489[/QUOTE]

Last summer, my FI's cousin was getting married. I've met the cousin a few times early on in our relationship. He doesn't really keep in touch with them, however is friends with both her and her sister on FB. His dad still talks to her mother (his sister) occasionally and I'm sure our names have come up in conversation over the past 7 years. Anyway, invitation was for FI only. Even after his Aunt got in contact with FI's sister and asked for his address. FI's sister had said.."Megan and Robert live together. Their address is...." still the invite came with no indication that I too was included. I was a little annoyed. What really annoyed me though was a couple of weeks before the wedding took place she decides to message him on FB and says; <strong>"Oh, it appears you're engaged. You can bring your FI to the wedding if you'd like. I just need to know ASAP, so I can let the venue know." </strong>He responded back to her saying; "Yes, I am engaged. Thanks! It's to the girl that you met seven years ago, we're still together. She's working on Saturday, so she can not come anyway."

peekaboo2011 · April 2013

BF won't attend a wedding without me. We found out from a friend that she was planning on inviting both of us, but no-ring, no-bring applied to everyone else, and we're also boycotting that wedding.

I also won't attend a wedding BF isn't invited to.

rachelm13 · April 2013

That happened once when FI (then BF) was invited to a wedding and we had only been dating 3 or 4 months. I wasn't super annoyed at the time, but, if that happened now, NFW would either of us go without the other one.

OwningAHome1981 · April 2013

This happened twice.. once when he and I were only together a month. (I went. It sucked. The couple is divorced now... bad etiquette makes karma a b*tch). The other time it happened, FI and I were together a year and a half but not engaged yet and the couple knew about me, but the invite only came to him (his work friend). He declined the invite.

tmacwin · April 2013

A couple months after I got married, I was invited to a family friend's wedding without my husband's name, addressed to my maiden name, sent to my parent's house where I hadn't lived for 6 years. And this person attended my wedding and should have known better. On top of that, the groom's dad works for my parents and could have easily asked for my information. Awesome. I didn't RSVP because I never had the invitation in hand.

FLANYTATOOGURL · April 2013

In Response to Re:FI invited without you?:[QUOTE]A year into our relationship, FI went to a wedding across the country without me, because I wasn't invited. While he was there, he got blackout drunk and cheated on me.He vowed never to go to a wedding without me again.NOT that this WILL happen to anyone else, but it's my freak story of FI attending a wedding without me. It scarred us both. Mostly me. Posted by zoberg[/QUOTE]
And he is still your FI?!?!???!! Someone lacks self esteem!

kmbryant2413 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fi-invited-without-you?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b1e92b7b-2eb2-4879-8a37-c3a923c87d3ePost:10849194-dce7-4d10-a5a5-429ee0b80b4c">Re: FI invited without you?</a>:
[QUOTE]This happened twice.. once when he and I were only together a month. (I went. It sucked. The couple is divorced now...<strong> bad etiquette makes karma a b*tch</strong>). The other time it happened, FI and I were together a year and a half but not engaged yet and the couple knew about me, but the invite only came to him (his work friend). He declined the invite.
Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]

<div>Wow. That's a really sh*tty thing of you to say.</div>

kmbryant2413 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fi-invited-without-you?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b1e92b7b-2eb2-4879-8a37-c3a923c87d3ePost:ff30fca8-f5b6-4fed-8b3d-5ad0fae98db2">Re:FI invited without you?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:FI invited without you?: And he is still your FI?!?!???!! Someone lacks self esteem!
Posted by FLANYTATOOGURL[/QUOTE]

<div>And the rest of their relationship and how they repaired it is not a damn bit of your business.</div>

FLANYTATOOGURL · April 2013

Also, I would not attend a wedding without FI.

FLANYTATOOGURL · April 2013

In Response to Re:FI invited without you?:[QUOTE]In Response to Re:FI invited without you?:In Response to Re:FI invited without you?: And he is still your FI?!?!???!! Someone lacks self esteem!Posted by FLANYTATOOGURLAnd the rest of their relationship and how they repaired it is not a damn bit of your business. Posted by kmbryant2413[/QUOTE]
Then she shouldn't put it out on the internet for the world to see.

teachmegs1 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fi-invited-without-you?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b1e92b7b-2eb2-4879-8a37-c3a923c87d3ePost:84b3d5f6-3194-426a-8943-b2332a5ef6c2">Re:FI invited without you?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:FI invited without you?: Then she shouldn't put it out on the internet for the world to see.
Posted by FLANYTATOOGURL[/QUOTE]

While she opened up the possibility (and you took the opportunity to say something) of people commenting on her story, I don't think it was necessary to tell her she lacks self esteem. I agree with kmbryant, that you know nothing of the situation with her FI.

FLANYTATOOGURL · April 2013

In Response to Re:FI invited without you?:[QUOTE]In Response to Re:FI invited without you?:In Response to Re:FI invited without you?: Then she shouldn't put it out on the internet for the world to see.Posted by FLANYTATOOGURLWhile she opened up the possibility and you took the opportunity to say something of people commenting on her story, I don't think it was necessary to tell her she lacks self esteem. I agree with kmbryant, that you know nothing of the situation with her FI. Posted by teachmegs1[/QUOTE]
Would you be okay with your man cheating on you because he got "black out drunk"?

AJuliaNJ · April 2013

My fiance was invited by a college friend to his out of town wedding when we were still dating. I hadn't met the couple and hadn't given one thought to wedding planning at the time so I actually thought it was okay. My fiance was very upset about it and called to talk to the groom who said it was for financial reasons. I urged him to go so he can see his college friends, who are scattered all over the country. I wasn't that offended by it because I've never met these people.

However, if we were engaged or if I had met this couple, I would have been hurt and offended and wouldn't be thrilled at the thought of him going and probably wouldn't invite them to anything I hosted or put together. I wouldn't block him from going if he wanted though. I'd hate to start the precedent where we can block each other from doing things we want to do.

I invited every couple together. I also invited all single people with a +1.

AJuliaNJ · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fi-invited-without-you?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b1e92b7b-2eb2-4879-8a37-c3a923c87d3ePost:ff30fca8-f5b6-4fed-8b3d-5ad0fae98db2">Re:FI invited without you?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:FI invited without you?: And he is still your FI?!?!???!! Someone lacks self esteem!
Posted by FLANYTATOOGURL[/QUOTE]

<div>Wow, not necessarily. Some people are able to work through major issues and resolve them. </div>

kmbryant2413 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fi-invited-without-you?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b1e92b7b-2eb2-4879-8a37-c3a923c87d3ePost:9c5dc0ff-b654-4982-9c8f-7ac7f7aea9bf">Re:FI invited without you?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:FI invited without you?: Would you be okay with your man cheating on you because he got "black out drunk"?
Posted by FLANYTATOOGURL[/QUOTE]

<div>One, it doesn't matter how ANY of us would react. We know nothing of any story other than one freakin' sentence. Two, you are no one. You have no right to judge an internet stranger, make assumptions about her life, or why she chose to stay or leave. Just go on. You're getting no sympathy here.</div>

TKzilla · April 2013

Flany is the troll from Wedding Woes. Everything it writes is to stir up trouble. Best ignore it and hope it goes away.

teachmegs1 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fi-invited-without-you?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b1e92b7b-2eb2-4879-8a37-c3a923c87d3ePost:9c5dc0ff-b654-4982-9c8f-7ac7f7aea9bf">Re:FI invited without you?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:FI invited without you?: Would you be okay with your man cheating on you because he got "black out drunk"?
Posted by FLANYTATOOGURL[/QUOTE]

I wouldn't be okay with it, but if I were to choose to stay, you better believe I'd be commenting to someone like you who told me I lack self esteem because of it. I've never been in a cheating situation before, and while I say, "Oh, I'd leave" I don't know if I really would. You just never know, until the situation happens, and everyone is different. This is why I wouldn't come onto the boards and judge someone's choice in the matter like you did. *thumbs-up*

harper0813 · April 2013

Can I just say to everyone that I love you? I have nothing to add. Everyone who responded to FLANY's comments understood my short story and why I posted it perfectly.

Things aren't always black and white.

rachelkawesome · April 2013

Wow, I've never commented before on anything but this thread is just ridiculous enough that I have to say something. Yes, at times, inviting one person and not their fiance/boyfriend/husband is rude. But when it comes down to financial reasons, it's understandable! Everyone has to live with the fact that weddings are expensive and you have to make cuts somewhere. I've been invited to coworkers' weddings where none of us got plus ones, and it was totally fine because we all just hung out with each other (sometimes it's even more fun that way). I don't think it's ALWAYS the ABSOLUTE RUDEST THING someone could POSSIBILY do.
And to answer the orginial question, I was invited to a wedding without my finance, and I did nothing except go to the wedding, and my finace said "Yes! I don't have to go to another wedding!" hahaha.

lilly91613 · April 2013

I just got invited to a wedding without my FI. I sincerly hope it was a mistake, but I can't go anyways so I declined and didn't bother reaching out. If FI was not invited, I wouldn't go. End of story.

FI invited without you?

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