Rehearsal Dinner

Starfish0116 · February 2012

So I'm starting to think about the rehearsal dinner - we already have the location booked and semi decided on the menu.

Who are you inviting to the rehearsal dinner? Do these people just know, or are you sending them a formal invitation?

I'm thinking we'll have:

My parents, grandparents (9).
FI's parents, grandparent (6)
Our bridal party w/ spouses/dates (25)
Our officiant and his wife (2)
Our wedding planner and her DH is she brings him (2)

That's 44 people. Holy smokes! All our siblings are in the wedding party, so I actually didn't add them in the "family" list. My sister is only 13 and I asked her if she wanted a friend/date for the wedding and she said no.

So, I included one of my aunt's that I'm super close with. I don't plan on inviting any other aunts to the RD because I don't find it necessary. I just hope no one is offended.

lbarr088 · February 2012

We have 50 even it includes:

Any Aunts/Uncles who will be attending

Ring bearers and their families

Grandparents

Bridal party plus dates

Parents

Siblings plus spouses/dates

We are telling people through word of mouth. I don't see the point in sending a formal invitation but that's just me. Ours is a more casual (dress pants and a nicer shirt) sort of deal. If it was formal I would probably send invitations just so people know that it IS formal.

lbarr088 · February 2012

Also, it's hard to please everyone and I'm sure people will get their panties in a bunch regardless. We are including all aunts/uncles to avoid some of the issues that could arise, plus they are all traveling from out of state so it would be a nice gesture. With that said, you don't have to do that and can limit it to those who are in the wedding, parents, and people you are very CLOSE with. When going with the second option people are always going to get their feelers hurt. That just happens.

kellycatalo · February 2012

i'm thinking of sending an invitation, because i want to invite my wedding party's SO's. when i was in my MOH's wedding, she didn't invite our SO's, and it felt really weird to not have dan there. so i don't want her to assume that her husband isn't invited, because i think that's weird.

so:
parents, grandparents, siblings (10)
BM's & SO's (5)
GM's & SO's (7-8)
flower girl & family (4)
ushers & family (4)
other readers(2)
priest (1)
other OOT relatives (6-7) (this could actually end up being a lot higher of a number)
minumum = 40

i'm assuming we'll have somewhere between 40-50.
i can't really invite all of our aunts and uncles because i alone have 17, and dan has another 7. i'm planning on having the ones there who are from OOT and that i am close with.

i'm thinking about calling to book the room soon, but i need to talk to dan's parents. they have offered to pay for it, but i don't know if that means they want to plan it or want me to just do it.

mamameech · February 2012

Ours is going to be VERY low key. We have a small wedding party and FI plans on spending the night before the wedding at the cottage with his cousins/friends, so we might even do an afternoon gathering instead. We are just planning on having something casual at his mom's house; a BBQ for about dozen or so people.

volleygurl0306 · February 2012

We ended up nixing the whole idea of a RD because we just can't afford it. Had we done it, it would have been

Immediate family and my brothers wife (8)
Grandpa (1)...only one alive and who approves of us
us (2)
WP and dates (19)
and maybe our officiant (hadn't figured out our officiant before we nixed it...we are using a civil celebrant we don't know and aren't even sure what they do about rehearsals).

I would have included a little card in their invitations if a meal choice was necessary. If it wasn't I would have just called everyone.

kellycatalo · February 2012

oh, i should mention ours will be at lou malnatti's. pizza is a lot easier to do for a big group, and more casual. plus both our family's favorite chicago style pizza is lou's, and the OOT-ers can't get it where they live so they are all very excited. it was a shoe-in too, because it's right across the street from our church.

Starfish0116 · February 2012

Oh that's a good idea, vollygurl, about including something in with their invitation. I think I might do that - something like a "wedding party schedule" that would include the location/time of the rehearsal as well as the info for the rehearsal dinner.

I know my aunts/uncles wouldn't be offended by not being invited but I could see FI's family getting in a stink over it. That being said, his parents are paying for the rehearsal dinner so they can add on until their heart's content. My dad along with FI & I are paying for the wedding, and FI has a large family that ALL expect to be invited. I know that parents are not expected to pay for anything, but his parents have assumed responsibility of the RD and are definitely getting off easy.

We're having it at the same restaurant who is catering our reception, as we got a slight discount for using them for both.

smartlypretty · February 2012

Okay, I'm really glad to see that I'm not the only one with a large-ish rehersal dinner. You guys just convinced me to make a list lol.

Bride and Groom (2)

Wedding Party (16)

Wedding Party Dates (6 to 9)

Parents (4)

Grandparents (3)

Family (2 to 8)

So I guess we could be anywhere from 33 (minimun) to 42 (max). There's a range b/c I'm not sure if FI's parents will invite their OOT relatives and if 3 members of the wedding party will bring dates.

katiebean1 · February 2012

We hare having around 30:
Parents (7)
Siblings not in wp (1)
WP and spouses and kids (19)
Pastor/wife/kid (they are family friends) (3)

We are sending invites. Mostly because I found really cute ones I wanted to make =] Also because I want everyone to know they are invited and give them all the info.

This is what I am basing out invite off of:

lbarr088 · February 2012

katiebean, that RD invitation is TOO CUTE.

mamameech · February 2012

I agree that rehearsal invite is cute!!

Starfish0116 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_rehearsal-dinner-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:cb78812c-048e-4e0d-8683-f0de39c5dc8ePost:f2414e11-1759-4560-8525-5a16a5dd52ef">Re: Rehearsal Dinner</a>:
[QUOTE]katiebean, that RD invitation is TOO CUTE.
Posted by lbarr088[/QUOTE]

<div>I agree....I might definitely have to steal that! </div>

Clarustin2011 · February 2012

My FFIL recently lost his job. They had originaly offered to pay for the RD and honeymoon. I have spoke to my parents about covering the cost of the RD so it doesnt add more stress on the FILs. They have agreed to cover it but it had to be only the people in the wedding, parent and pastor. I had thought under this circumstance that it would be ok. It'd be about 20 people total.

mcmeghan311 · February 2012

I still have no idea what's going on with mine. FILs offered to pay for it before, but some circumstances changed, so I'm afraid to ask if that's still on. I also assume she's going to determine who's invited, but if it were my list, I'd have

Us and WP/dates: currently 10 (4 of them are single, 2 have a SO to bring)
My RBs, FG and their parents 2 + 3 kids
Parents: 4
God parents (which are aunts and uncles) 5 (his are siblings to each other, not a couple)
Officient and his wife: 2 (they will decline though, they declined the reception dinner)

I could her not inviting aunts and uncles, but she is very close with her sister who is Dan's Godmother, so I'd assume she'd invite her brother (God Father) and my GPs. Idk though. She made a comment before about "unnecessary guests" but I don't think anybody on that list is extraneous. So I guess I'd assume there would be 23 adults and 3 kids. It could go up to 27 adults if the 3 groomsmen and my other BM have SO's by September.

beckyboo27 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_rehearsal-dinner-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:cb78812c-048e-4e0d-8683-f0de39c5dc8ePost:853b2b30-8755-41c2-8556-b59b7b308a6a">Re: Rehearsal Dinner</a>:
[QUOTE]oh, i should mention ours will be at lou malnatti's. pizza is a lot easier to do for a big group, and more casual. plus both our family's favorite chicago style pizza is lou's, and the OOT-ers can't get it where they live so they are all very excited. it was a shoe-in too, because it's right across the street from our church.
Posted by kellycatalo[/QUOTE]

<div>That's what we were thinking about for our RD. There's a pizza shop down the street from the hotel we're getting married at so we decided on that. It's just us, the WP, their SOs and immediate family. That puts us at 25.</div>

Katiesue04 · February 2012

36 people-I was kind of hoping just to get pizza or something is that terrible?

Starfish0116 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_rehearsal-dinner-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:cb78812c-048e-4e0d-8683-f0de39c5dc8ePost:e530328b-2dec-49fa-b900-0a58ce5ab674">Re: Rehearsal Dinner</a>:
[QUOTE]36 people-I was kind of hoping just to get pizza or something is that terrible?
Posted by Katiesue04[/QUOTE]

<div>I would love to go this route, or even a BBQ. FI, on the other hand, said no way - he wants a full dinner. Grrr. </div>

SCogs18 · February 2012

Our RD is out of control. With us, our parents, bridal party/dates, aunts, uncles, and cousins we are at 85 people! Worst part--no one is willing to cut anyone. It's going to be over half the guests at the wedding!

smartlypretty · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_rehearsal-dinner-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:cb78812c-048e-4e0d-8683-f0de39c5dc8ePost:45a727dd-5b3d-4f31-b55c-d56a24f0f789">Re: Rehearsal Dinner</a>:
[QUOTE]Our RD is out of control. With us, our parents, bridal party/dates, aunts, uncles, and cousins we are at 85 people! Worst part--no one is willing to cut anyone. It's going to be over half the guests at the wedding!
Posted by SCogs18[/QUOTE]

<div>Oh man that's like a reception! Maybe you can make it something really casual? My one friend did a backyard pig roast b/c they had a ton of people. </div>

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