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Multiple receptions?

LooneyksLooneyks member
First Comment
in Wedding Reception Forum
My FI and I are moving to California in a few months.  We plan on having a small ceremony there with as much as the family that can attend.  Our problem is my family lives in Massachusetts and his family lives in Florida.  Our respective grandmothers are very important to us, but neither can make the trip due to medical restrictions.  We don't know how to handle multiple receptions without making it look like a gift grab.  Do we invite everyone to the wedding then put the info for both receptions on rsvp so people can choose what parts they can attend?
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Re: Multiple receptions?

  • Summer2011BrideSummer2011Bride member
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    The actual reception is the one that happens on your wedding day and is a thank you to the guests who attended your ceremony. So I wouldn't call anything else a "reception."

    However you can certainly have a get-together, host a BBQ, throw a party, etc. to celebrate your marriage after your wedding day. Just don't call it a reception, don't wear your gown, don't have a first dance, etc.


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  • jessicabessicajessicabessica member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    I would see how much of your families can attend the wedding itself.  If not that many come, I would consider throwing a BBQ or casual get together the next time you are in their area.  If it's just your grandmothers, I would think about what they would really want.  It might be preferable just to make sure you get in a good visit with each of them shortly after you get married and spend some quality time together.
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  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_multiple-receptions-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:75587936-81e9-4b54-ba40-5a198b1d2958Post:707fb393-c510-425f-8d7a-c55f210c4443">Re: Multiple receptions?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would see how much of your families can attend the wedding itself.  If not that many come, I would consider throwing a BBQ or casual get together the next time you are in their area.  If it's just your grandmothers, I would think about what they would really want.  It might be preferable just to make sure you get in a good visit with each of them shortly after you get married and spend some quality time together.
    Posted by jessicabessica[/QUOTE]

    This is what I would say, if I could write as well as jessicabessica.
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  • speshlsnowflAkEspeshlsnowflAkE
    10 Comments
    There's no reason you can't have multiple receptions so everyone you want to attend can be there!  I'm sure everyone wants to be included! Smile
    Any fool can make a rule,and any fool will mind it. ~Thoreau photo specialdaygif_zpsac5730d3.gif
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  • LiASpitsSunshinELiASpitsSunshinE
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_multiple-receptions-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:75587936-81e9-4b54-ba40-5a198b1d2958Post:1fab8161-d599-41ca-be43-467ff8dd0037">Re: Multiple receptions?</a>:
    [QUOTE]There's no reason you can't have multiple receptions so everyone you want to attend can be there!  I'm sure everyone wants to be included! 
    Posted by speshlsnowflAkE[/QUOTE]

    This, but you should probably JOP it to get legally married before either wedding, you don't want one family to be jealous that the real wedding was not the one closest to them. If both weddings are fake, then no one has cause for complaint!
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    "The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way."
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  • imAprEttyprincessimAprEttyprincess
    10 Comments
    Everyone is right, these won't be your ACTUAL wedding receptions.  But I don't think there is anything wrong with a party with each family to celebrate your wedding.  They can see you in your dress, have some wedding cake, dance, and drink.  Who wouldn't be okay with that?
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  • LooneyksLooneyks member
    First Comment
    Do we send out a completely separate set of invitations for the post wedding celebrations? Or include all of the info with the wedding invitations? We plan on inviting everyone to the wedding whether or not we think they can come. Thinking extra check boxes for "Can't make it to the wedding and reception, but yes to either location post wedding celebration."
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  • LooneyksLooneyks member
    First Comment
    We don't want to send the message that one family is more special than the other. So instead of choosing between them, we're choosing a neutral location that's easy for us to plan since it's local.
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  • jessicabessicajessicabessica member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited April 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_multiple-receptions-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:75587936-81e9-4b54-ba40-5a198b1d2958Post:201bb337-2ce1-4701-bd8c-f18dd6c8327c">Re: Multiple receptions?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Multiple receptions? : This is what I would say, if I could write as well as jessicabessica.
    Posted by NYCMercedes[/QUOTE]

    <div>Haha, that's sweet of you, thanks :)</div><div>
    </div><div>ETA: Also, OP, I would really wait until after you see who's coming to the wedding to plan anything else.  We were thinking about having a west coast shindig after our Maine wedding to host a lot of DH's family, but we were pleasantly surprised by how many people flew out for our wedding, and the ones that didn't weren't super into family events, so it wouldn't have made sense to have a big party on the west coast.  </div>
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  • LooneyksLooneyks member
    First Comment
    So, you're suggesting that we send out the invitations. Once we get the rsvps, if enough/certain people can't make it, send out a second round that give details on a celebration party? That way we save energy and cost by only planning extra parties if necessary.
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  • jessicabessicajessicabessica member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_multiple-receptions-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:75587936-81e9-4b54-ba40-5a198b1d2958Post:8c247f6f-48e7-441f-b7eb-5ae953d73fbc">Re: Multiple receptions?</a>:
    [QUOTE]So, you're suggesting that we send out the invitations. Once we get the rsvps, if enough/certain people can't make it, send out a second round that give details on a celebration party? That way we save energy and cost by only planning extra parties if necessary.
    Posted by Looneyks[/QUOTE]

    <div>Yes, that's what I would do (and what we did).  I also would really think about what your grandmothers would want.  DH's grandmother was not able to travel to our wedding, although most of that side of the family did.  She would not have wanted us to through a big wedding-related party where she lived after our wedding.  </div>
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  • LooneyksLooneyks member
    First Comment
    I have a feeling my grandmother will want the party even though she'll say no when we ask. The old, "no, I don't want to be a burden to you" routine.  I think his grandmother won't mind as much. 
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