NER - Name Change

[Deleted User] · April 2013

So, I'm in tears (I sort of wanted to post about it to vent, but I really don't know where to begin) and I'm going to type and run, but I have a question.

I want to make my current last name my middle name, and take my FI's last name.

So, if my name is Jane Lynn Doe, and I'm marrying John Charles Smith, I want my new name to be Jane Doe Smith.

My mom (reason for tears) is saying that this is impossible, and I will IN NO WAY be able to do this. For the record, I'm in WV. She says I have to petition the state and put it in the paper and they can tell me no, and they will.

I don't understand her push-back here. She says she doesn't care if I do it but she keeps screaming that it's impossible, illegal, and I cannot do this.

I have friends who have. So. How does it work? I thought I just did them both the same day. Is that not so? I tried looking up on google but it's so different, and the two lawyers I know aren't in the right state. They keep saying yes, it's easy, no big deal, but I still can't get it clear if I can do it the same day/time.

AddieCake · April 2013

I would call the Social Security office and ask what all you need to do and if it is a separate process.

GoodLuckBear14 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ner-name-change?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:55507399-a580-4657-ba1b-f4a5e5fc00e0Post:6b1bc28e-f6de-4308-8f74-6835daa0b047">NER - Name Change</a>:
[QUOTE]So, I'm in tears (I sort of wanted to post about it to vent, but I really don't know where to begin) and I'm going to type and run, but I have a question. I want to make my current last name my middle name, and take my FI's last name. So, if my name is Jane Lynn Doe, and I'm marrying John Charles Smith, I want my new name to be Jane Doe Smith. My mom (reason for tears) is saying that this is impossible, and I will IN NO WAY be able to do this. For the record, I'm in WV. She says I have to petition the state and put it in the paper and they can tell me no, and they will. I don't understand her push-back here. She says she doesn't care if I do it but she keeps screaming that it's impossible, illegal, and I cannot do this. I have friends who have. So. How does it work? I thought I just did them both the same day. Is that not so? I tried looking up on google but it's so different, and the two lawyers I know aren't in the right state. They keep saying yes, it's easy, no big deal, but I still can't get it clear if I can do it the same day/time.
Posted by Domino04[/QUOTE]

Unless your mom is an attorney, ignore her. I am an attorney and it is in the rarest of circumstances (like you want something offensive) that any state will prevent you from changing your name. When you get your marriage license, they should ask you then if you are changing your name and if you are what you are changing it to. If you want to put your mind at rest, call the clerk's office where you will be getting your license and ask.

Loopyseven · April 2013

It's the same process as changing your name to first middle newlast. You just fill in the form with first oldlast newlast instead of first middle newlast.

And your mom is being rediculous.

Kate61487 · April 2013

I can't speak for WV, but with my IN marriage license, which says just my maiden; they don't ask you ahead of time if you're changing your name, at my IL SS office I just filled out the form "Kathryn Maiden Married" and they didn't even flinch or ask. Same at the DMV. It wouldn't hurt to call your SS office to set your mind at ease, but I think your mom is cray cray.

OwningAHome1981 · April 2013

In Response to Re:NER Name Change:[QUOTE]In Response to NER Name Change:So, I'm in tears I sort of wanted to post about it to vent, but I really don't know where to begin and I'm going to type and run, but I have a question.nbsp; I want to make my current last name my middle name, and take my FI's last name.nbsp; So, if my name is Jane Lynn Doe, and I'm marrying John Charles Smith, I want my new name to be Jane Doe Smith. My mom reason for tears is saying that this is impossible, and I will IN NO WAY be able to do this. For the record, I'm in WV. She says I have to petition the state and put it in the paper and they can tell me no, and they will.nbsp; I don't understand her pushback here. She says she doesn't care if I do it but she keeps screaming that it's impossible, illegal, and I cannot do this. I have friends who have. So. How does it work? I thought I just did them both the same day. Is that not so? I tried looking up on google but it's so different, and the two lawyers I know aren't in the right state. They keep saying yes, it's easy, no big deal, but I still can't get it clear if I can do it the same day/time.Posted by Domino04Unless your mom is an attorney, ignore her. I am an attorney and it is in the rarest of circumstances like you want something offensive thatnbsp;any state will prevent you from changing your name.nbsp; When you get your marriage license, they should ask you then if you are changing your name and if you are what you are changing it to. If you want to put your mind at rest, call the clerk's office where you will be getting your license and ask. Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]

This.

FWIW some crazy guy changed his name to Beezow DooDoo ZopittyBopBopBop, so I think you are ok with Jane Doe Smith.

Calypso1977 · April 2013

op, are you parents divorced and your mother is somehow trying to rid you of her ex-husbands (your fathers) name by telling you this? just seems like a really odd thing for a mom to tell her daughter to the point of upsetting her and using the term "illegal".

MayberryAfterMidnight · April 2013

I am so sorry you're having to deal with this. As PPs have said, the laws can vary by state, so it's worth asking the local county clerk's office. FWIW, my mom actually did this very thing back in the early 80s in Virginia - she took my dad's last name and her maiden name is her middle name. It most certainly is done and is not strange or impossible. I have no idea why your mom is reacting this way - as Calypso said, it's very strange she would have such a strong reaction to this! Keep your head up and do what YOU want to do. Sending good vibes your way today :-)

[Deleted User] · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ner-name-change?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:55507399-a580-4657-ba1b-f4a5e5fc00e0Post:d76ab6db-2859-40ca-8d0b-0a62c2be8915">Re: NER - Name Change</a>:
[QUOTE]op, are you parents divorced and your mother is somehow trying to rid you of her ex-husbands (your fathers) name by telling you this? just seems like a really odd thing for a mom to tell her daughter to the point of upsetting her and using the term "illegal".
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>No. My father is dead.

</div>

[Deleted User] · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ner-name-change?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:55507399-a580-4657-ba1b-f4a5e5fc00e0Post:d76ab6db-2859-40ca-8d0b-0a62c2be8915">Re: NER - Name Change</a>:
[QUOTE]op, are you parents divorced and your mother is somehow trying to rid you of her ex-husbands (your fathers) name by telling you this? just seems like a really odd thing for a mom to tell her daughter to the point of upsetting her and using the term "illegal".
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>No. My father is dead.

</div>

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