Wedding Etiquette Forum

What is is about wedding that makes people crazy?!

I just need to vent.

I had an accquaintance call me the other day. I havent talked to her in years, which is why I dont say "friend".  So, we are talking about random stuff & I made no mention of the wedding, because I am not inviting her. All of a sudden she says "so where is my invite to your wedding?" WHAT?! Why would she think that she is getting an invite, when I havent talked to her in years? & why would you even ask someone that? I replied with "unfortuantley we are already at our limit with guests. How is school going?" First of all, my wedding isnt until the end of August, why would I be sending out invites now? Secondly, I really dont understand why so many people assume they are invited & straight up ask me if they are. Where is your common sense? Dont people realize that this is really rude to do?

& another one...

I just recieved a text message from one of my childhood friends. We have been friends for YEARS, but in the last few years we havent seen each other or talked much because she moved to OH. She says to me "so, when is your wedding again? Im planning a trip to Erie for a few days and want to plan it around your wedding so I can be there" OMG!!! Im not even sure if I am going to invite her. To be honest, she was on my inital guest list (my rough draft one from when we first got engaged) but I ended up having to remove her because we are inviting so many family members. We are already about 20 people over (not an issue with the venue because it can hold up to 300) and really cannot afford to keep adding people. I did not mention anything to her about the wedding in the few times we have talked because I wasnt sure I would be able to invite her. How do I respond to this?

Just a note:  Invites have not gone out yet, and I only sent Save the Dates to ppl I absolutely knew we would be inviting.

What is it about weddings that make people so crazy and forget their manners? I would never say to someone "well, where is my invite?"
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Re: What is is about wedding that makes people crazy?!

  • Weddings bring out the carzy in some people. I've been to school talking with classmates about assigmnents and then they would say, "So you're getting married this year right? Can I get an invitation? I haven't been to a wedding in forever!" When they do that I just stare blankly at them a second then continue on with the conversation as though they'd never said that. It's passive aggressive I know but it's pretty effective and gets the point across.
  • I can only speak for myself, so here goes.  I was invited to an Easter dinner by my step-sister's brother-in-laws GF (found out that day they were engaged).  I know both the brother and FI and they are really good people.  While talking to her, finding out they are engaged, shown the ring (beautiful), and finding out their date, I wanted to blurt out "I can't wait to come!"   But good judgement (and the advice from many a smart woman on this board) allowed me to keep my mouth shut. 

    Sometimes we get so excited for someone, for a party, etc, that sometimes we say things that we wouldn't normally say.  Doesn't excuse the bad behavior, but hopefully explains it.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-is-is-about-wedding-that-makes-people-crazy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4a5e00fc-e376-49aa-ba2f-93d12a82c700Post:6e90a916-d572-4e22-bcd9-13a988ae67eb">Re: What is is about wedding that makes people crazy?!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I can only speak for myself, so here goes.  I was invited to an Easter dinner by my step-sister's brother-in-laws GF (found out that day they were engaged).  I know both the brother and FI and they are really good people. <strong> While talking to her, finding out they are engaged, shown the ring (beautiful), and finding out their date, I wanted to blurt out "I can't wait to come!"</strong>   But good judgement (and the advice from many a smart woman on this board) allowed me to keep my mouth shut.  Sometimes we get so excited for someone, for a party, etc, that sometimes we say things that we wouldn't normally say.  Doesn't excuse the bad behavior, but hopefully explains it.
    Posted by jenajjthr[/QUOTE]

    I probably would be okay with this, only because I feel like if she is talking to you about it, maybe she is going to invite you. But, I havent mentioned one thing to these two girls & that is why I am so confused as to why they assume they are invited.
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  • Maybe I'm just weird, but I don't like weddings enough to go to someone's I didn't know very well.

    I go to weddings because I truly care about the couple and want to see them marry and celebrate.  I don't find them so absolutely fun that I must go no matter who it is.  

    My dad has a few old work friends, whom I've never met, that are flying all the way from Asia to come to my wedding (he worked with them years ago when he was transferred there). Thousands of dollars for the wedding of a daughter of a friend.  That's just weird to me, but my dad said they were dying for an invite.  Of course I'll be really gracious, and I guess I'm flattered that they would do that, but I just don't get it.

    SaveSave
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-is-is-about-wedding-that-makes-people-crazy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4a5e00fc-e376-49aa-ba2f-93d12a82c700Post:6e90a916-d572-4e22-bcd9-13a988ae67eb">Re: What is is about wedding that makes people crazy?!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I can only speak for myself, so here goes.  I was invited to an Easter dinner by my step-sister's brother-in-laws GF (found out that day they were engaged).  I know both the brother and FI and they are really good people.  While talking to her, finding out they are engaged, shown the ring (beautiful), and finding out their date, I wanted to blurt out "I can't wait to come!"   But good judgement (and the advice from many a smart woman on this board) allowed me to keep my mouth shut.  <strong>Sometimes we get so excited for someone, for a party, etc, that sometimes we say things that we wouldn't normally say.  Doesn't excuse the bad behavior, but hopefully explains it.</strong>
    Posted by jenajjthr[/QUOTE]

    <div>I agree with this. I have old childhood friends with whom I've somewhat recently reconnected with on Facebook, and they have dropped hints about being invited. I think it's part excitement for me, and part nostalgia for the close friendship that we once had.  Since one of these girls was on your original guest list, I'm guessing you at one point thought you'd really invite her as well. </div>
  • edited April 2013
    My FBIL handed us the best one.  FFIL and FBIL work for a city government.  FFIL works very closely with the mayor.  Big whoop.  Apparently when FBIL was at work (in his lower office), he mentioned that he was going to be the best man at his brother's wedding and he was excited about it.  One of his coworkers actually approached him and asked if he could score her an invite.  Apparently she assumed the mayor was going to be invited and wanted to use the opportunity to further her career, by going to a wedding of her coworker's brother.  Sigh.  The mayor will not be invited anyway and we got a good laugh out of it.  But seriously?  It's only one of the biggest days of my life and you want to use it for your career???  Yeah, not happening.

    ETA: I need coffee.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-is-is-about-wedding-that-makes-people-crazy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4a5e00fc-e376-49aa-ba2f-93d12a82c700Post:297c6e2e-a841-421b-bbe9-d6f8352b6cb5">Re: What is is about wedding that makes people crazy?!</a>:
    [QUOTE]My FBIL handed us the best one.  FFIL and FBIL work for a city government.  FFIL works very closely with the major.  Big whoop.  Apparently when FBIL was at work (in his lower office), he mentioned that he was going to be the best man at his brother's wedding and he was excited about it.  One of his coworkers actually approached him and asked if he could score her an invite.  Apparently she assumed the major was going to be invited and wanted to use the opportunity to further her career, by going to a wedding of her coworker's brother.  Sigh.  The major will not be invited anyway and we got a good laugh out of it.  But seriously?  It's only one of the biggest days of my life and you want to use it for your career???  Yeah, not happening.
    Posted by BostonGIrl4732[/QUOTE]

    "Major" --- are you talking about Menino?  The....mayor?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-is-is-about-wedding-that-makes-people-crazy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4a5e00fc-e376-49aa-ba2f-93d12a82c700Post:aa1451cd-e8b5-44cf-b23f-6492d5f310c6">Re: What is is about wedding that makes people crazy?!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What is is about wedding that makes people crazy?! : "Major" --- are you talking about Menino?  The....mayor?
    Posted by Ella and Pedro[/QUOTE]

    <div>GAH!  I clearly need to drink coffee before I post.  Mayor.  Not Menino (FI is from a different city), but same sort of idea.</div>
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