Wedding Etiquette Forum

Jewelry for bridesmaids - how strongly do you feel it all has to match?

Hi - I was going to buy all of my BMs earrings to wear for the wedding (NOT as their gift). But the gift I'm buying them is at the tip top of my price range (but very awesome) so I can't swing both. Do you think it matters in photos, or to them, if they have different earrings? We're in our 30s and they're not particularly close with each other or matchy-matchy gals to begin with....
as always, appreciate the input!

Re: Jewelry for bridesmaids - how strongly do you feel it all has to match?

  • hardlyhannahhardlyhannah member
    500 Comments 100 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited March 2013
    I am not doing matching jewelry - though they will all probably have different dresses too. I don't think it will hurt pictures if they don't match - it might be fun to have each of the girls personalities show through their accessories!

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  • On a zero - strongly scale, I'm going to have to say about -3. I spent no time at all being concerned with those little details, and never once noticed it in my wedding pictures.
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  • meggiemomeggiemo member
    100 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited March 2013
    It's your wedding! If you don't mind different earrings, then go for it! To be perfectly honest, I don't remember ever scrutinizing BMs earrings in photographs. Maybe give them a size or style guideline to stick to if you're wanting a little more uniformity, but it's not something I would stress over!
  • I don't think it matters. No one but you is going to notice. 
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  • I would say it doesnt matter at all. And no one will notice what type of earrings they wearing.
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  • I bought my girls pearl earrings, but I really don't care about matchy-matchy beyond that. If it's going to eat into your gift budget, skip the earrings.
  • Thanks ladies!! One more thing off my plate!
  • On a scale of 1 to 10, zero. If you do want matching you could ask for a stud or hoop but not dictate a size (similar to asking for a black or nude pump rather than dictating a specific shoe) and let each woman where what she is comfortable with.

  • I would put your money into getting them nice gifts rather than matchy jewelry. No one with  care if there jewelry matches anyway. I actually think it's nice when bridesmaids have individualized looks rather than being cookie cutter matchy matchy anyway.
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  • I've given zero thought or consideration to what jewelry my bridesmaids are wearing.  (I can't even figure out what looks good with my own dress.)  Their dresses aren't going to match, so in my case I think it would look really odd if they had matching accessories.  But even if their dresses did match, I wouldn't want them looking like clones of each other. It's just weird.

    From a bridesmaid's POV - I have really sensitive skin.  My earrings need to be gold or surgical steel, and even then I can't wear them all day (really cheap earrings last maybe a couple of hours if I'm lucky).  My hands and neck break out from contact with metal (even gold rings give me rashes that last me for months).  Believe me that would look worse in pictures than unmatching jewelry.  I probably wouldn't be happy or willing to wear earrings you bought me unless they were high quality and no offense, but I doubt anyone would buy something like that for their WP.
  • PPs have covered it.

    I honestly couldn't tell you what jewelry ANY of my BMs were wearing except one.  And that's b/c she took off her very dangly earrings part way through the night and left them at the venue and the venue returned them to me (along with a Nintendo DS and a few other things left behind).  I had to do a little searching to figure out whose they even were.
  • I have ditto a PP about not wearing lower quality earrings. I actually haven't been able to wear gold or surgical steele without issues in some time. I would prefere to have the option of not wearing any at all vs having my ears swell and turn tomato red!
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  • I don't feel strongly at all. Actually, even though I bought jewelry for my gift, each piece of jewerly is different and was chosen to match what each girl wears/likes/etc. So, even if they wear what I bought (which is in NO way required) they won't match.
  • Not at all strongly, and as someone who is allergic to a lot of jewelry I dislike being given jewelry.



  • I could care less. I don't think it matters at all.
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  • I haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate matching jewelry. Accessories are meant to show an individual's personality. Matching jewelry defeats that. If a bride wants her girls to match perfectly, I suggest hiring mannequins. 
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited March 2013
    LOL - How strongly did I feel?    I couldn't give a damn.

    HOWEVER,  my OCD, type-A BMs apparently cared very much.  So behind my back they decided to all wear matching diamond stud earrings they already owned.   Whatever.  They all wore different necklaces.      

    They were not happy when I said I didn't care about the shoes (color or otherwise).  They didn't like that answer either and behind my back agreed on the same color shoe.

    Oh and my sister (MOH) and one BM got matching nail polish when I wouldn't decided for them what color to pick.  My 2 SILs also matched their nail polish to each other.  

    I would have to analyze the pictures in order to tell you what any of the stuff they agreed on ended up being.  That is how little I cared about the subject.






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  • Matching jewlery is not something that I would spend any time on.  I didn't care as I Bride and as a guest I don't think I would notice or if I did, I would not care that much.  As a Bridesmaid I don't think I'd care too much if you gave me one piece of jewlery and ask me to wear it, baring any allergy issues... I would mind if a bride tried to dictate all of the jewlery they wanted worn, which is sounds like that way far out from what you are thinking of .    
  • On a scale of 0 to 10, I would say 0.  I did not have my BMs match jewelry, which I think actually looks better because I don't like when things are super match-matchy.  
  • I was involved in a strange situation where a friend of mine makes jewelry.  She was expecting me to buy the BMs jewlrey from her, and since she'd made me some of my jewelry, I felt obligated to buy them.

    They all had matching pearl earrings and necklaces, but I would have been fine if they hadn't matched.  I was just there to get married.  To heck with other people's jewelry!

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  • I don't think it matters at all and I personally think the super matchy matchy look is pretty bland and a little dated. 
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  • I think it looks weird to have bridesmaids match everything (dress, hair, shoes, jewelery, nails). Have them change it up, I think it will look great!
  • I hate the idea of matching jewlery. I let my girls decide their own style of dresses, so why not let them decide their jewlery too? I think I am going to send a link of this thread to my mom. She is all about the matching jewlery idea. Ugh.
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  • I just asked everyone to wear silver so we'd all coordinate (not match). I'm having a hard time with the gift, too, because I found really cool necklaces that have the same "message in a bottle" look as our favors, so I want that to be included... but I don't want to get everyone the same thing. So I'm looking for something tailored to each girl, and I'll probably give them the necklace with it, too.
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  • Excellent - this has totally put the issue to bed for me. and now that i'm saving money by not buying the earrings I can hopefully pay for them to get their hair done.
  • Since my girls all fell in love with the same dress (I was happy with just same color & length) I wanted their jewelry to be different to show off their different personalities. I got the jewelry myself too since I knew most of my girls were on very tight budgets. I got them all the same style (evening/special occasion bling wear) but different styles for each girl. They loved it. It didn't stand out in photos that they didn't match.
  • I feel strongly that they shouldn't match.
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