Potluck

MrsSwanson369 · April 2013

Hey Ya'll

My name is Amber, soon to be Mrs. Swanson! (yahhoooo!!!)

My fiance and I are planning a very off beat wedding.

First of all, we live in Washington. Our Location has been chosen for the NorthWest Trek in Eatonville, Wa. for Sometime in October (Still finalizing a date),

Our Wedding is going to be outdoors, (Renting a 3000sqft tent to keep our guests dry and warm) and we are planning to do a Pot luck for our reception.

Each family will bring a Dish that Represents their heritage. our families hail from all over the world (Philippians, Ireland, Scotland, germany, south africa, etc).

I, of course, will order a beautiful cake, alcohol, water in glass bottles, etc

Our eating utensils and plates will all be biodegradable, our cups will be recycled mason jars.

Our center peices will be mason jars with water and floating candles, flowers, and lemons etc

We're using picknic tables as well (putting white or light green as the table cloth and burlap as the table runners.

Our wedding is planned to be very simplistic, family oriented, and as eco friendly as we can get it.

we'll be using more candles for lighting as we can so we reduce the amount of electrcity that we're using. Of course, we cant go compltely electricty free as our wedding will be in the evening.

My question is, Is it too much to ask our guests to prepare a dish from home or from the venue (there is a rentable cafe that I will be renting out for the evening and 95% of our guests are local) that represents their individual family heratige, write a small paper on where that food comes from, whats in it, and how is it made? Me and aj my fiance are huge into family, history, and heratage and that would be something we would love to do (not only to save money, but to learn about others).

Thank you!!!

Stina51286 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_outdoor-weddings_potluck?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:666Discussion:2b9870d3-4828-465c-8f28-091ec5b2ca9cPost:d47ece77-92e4-4a02-9145-d967b63e52a3">Potluck</a>:
[QUOTE]Hey Ya'll My name is Amber, soon to be Mrs. Swanson! (yahhoooo!!!) My fiance and I are planning a very off beat wedding. First of all, we live in Washington. Our Location has been chosen for the NorthWest Trek in Eatonville, Wa. for Sometime in October (Still finalizing a date), Our Wedding is going to be outdoors, (Renting a 3000sqft tent to keep our guests dry and warm) and we are planning to do a Pot luck for our reception. Each family will bring a Dish that Represents their heritage. our families hail from all over the world (Philippians, Ireland, Scotland, germany, south africa, etc). I, of course, will order a beautiful cake, alcohol, water in glass bottles, etc Our eating utensils and plates will all be biodegradable, our cups will be recycled mason jars. Our center peices will be mason jars with water and floating candles, flowers, and lemons etc We're using picknic tables as well (putting white or light green as the table cloth and burlap as the table runners. Our wedding is planned to be very simplistic, family oriented, and as eco friendly as we can get it. we'll be using more candles for lighting as we can so we reduce the amount of electrcity that we're using. Of course, we cant go compltely electricty free as our wedding will be in the evening. My question is, Is it too much to ask our guests to prepare a dish from home or from the venue (there is a rentable cafe that I will be renting out for the evening and 95% of our guests are local) that represents their individual family heratige, write a small paper on where that food comes from, whats in it, and how is it made? Me and aj my fiance are huge into family, history, and heratage and that would be something we would love to do (not only to save money, but to learn about others). Thank you!!!
Posted by MrsSwanson369[/QUOTE]

How many times do you need to post this? See my response in the October 2013 board.

bunni727 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_outdoor-weddings_potluck?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:666Discussion:2b9870d3-4828-465c-8f28-091ec5b2ca9cPost:d47ece77-92e4-4a02-9145-d967b63e52a3">Potluck</a>:
[QUOTE]Hey Ya'll My name is Amber, soon to be Mrs. Swanson! (yahhoooo!!!) My fiance and I are planning a very off beat wedding. First of all, we live in Washington. Our Location has been chosen for the NorthWest Trek in Eatonville, Wa. for Sometime in October (Still finalizing a date), Our Wedding is going to be outdoors, (Renting a 3000sqft tent to keep our guests dry and warm) and we are planning to do a Pot luck for our reception. Each family will bring a Dish that Represents their heritage. our families hail from all over the world (Philippians, Ireland, Scotland, germany, south africa, etc). I, of course, will order a beautiful cake, alcohol, water in glass bottles, etc Our eating utensils and plates will all be biodegradable, our cups will be recycled mason jars. Our center peices will be mason jars with water and floating candles, flowers, and lemons etc We're using picknic tables as well (putting white or light green as the table cloth and burlap as the table runners. Our wedding is planned to be very simplistic, family oriented, and as eco friendly as we can get it. we'll be using more candles for lighting as we can so we reduce the amount of electrcity that we're using. Of course, we cant go compltely electricty free as our wedding will be in the evening. <strong>My question is, Is it too much to ask our guests to prepare a dish from home or from the venue (there is a rentable cafe that I will be renting out for the evening and 95% of our guests are local) that represents their individual family heratige, write a small paper on where that food comes from, whats in it, and how is it made? </strong>Me and aj my fiance are huge into family, history, and heratage and that would be something we would love to do (not only to save money, but to learn about others). Thank you!!!
Posted by MrsSwanson369[/QUOTE]

Yes. This may be a fun heritage day party, but it would be very rude at a wedding.

Wedding receptions are hosted events meant to be a thank you to your guests for witnessing the ceremony. If the guests are sharing in hosting responsibilities, like cost of food and food prep, it isn't really a thank you to them.

Host your guests properly (you could still do a variety of food styles to incorporate family history), and throw a "learning about heritage potluck" some other time.

ETA: Please have some non-picnic table options for your guests, whether that be a normal chair on the end of each table, or a few extra tables and chairs. Guests with mobility issues, or even guests in dresses, could have a hard time getting in and out of the picnic tables.

MayberryAfterMidnight · April 2013

I applaud you on your efforts to be green, but frankly, this sort of sounds like a school project - I feel like we did this in middle school, ie bring in a dish and write up a paragraph on the country where it's from, etc. Also, as PPs have said, a wedding reception is meant as a thank-you to your guests for coming, so it's not appropriate to ask them to pay for anything or make their own food. However, I think it's a neat idea and I like the thought behind it, and perhaps instead you might suggest that people could bring the recipes for these dishes? It may still not be appropriate for the wedding (as it's rude to ask for gifts of any kind), but could be something to do at the shower, if you're having one.

hgminor · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_outdoor-weddings_potluck?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:666Discussion:2b9870d3-4828-465c-8f28-091ec5b2ca9cPost:d3800451-3bba-4c3d-9016-058c063558f8">Re: Potluck</a>:
[QUOTE]I applaud you on your efforts to be green, but frankly, this sort of sounds like a school project - I feel like we did this in middle school, ie bring in a dish and write up a paragraph on the country where it's from, etc. Also, as PPs have said, a wedding reception is meant as a thank-you to your guests for coming, so it's not appropriate to ask them to pay for anything or make their own food. However, I think it's a neat idea and I like the thought behind it, and perhaps instead you might suggest that people could bring the recipes for these dishes? It may still not be appropriate for the wedding (as it's rude to ask for gifts of any kind), but could be something to do at the shower, if you're having one.
Posted by MayberryAfterMidnight[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I also replied in Budget (i know you are new, so it's just a rookie mistake, but there is a TON of movement between boards, so posting on most any of them will get you plenty of responses)</div><div>
</div><div>You are right, it totally sounds like a middle school project!!</div><div>
</div><div>OP- see if you can get the recipes at a shower or something (sometimes this is common, but it wouldn't be your place to ask, its up to the hostess to organize this).</div><div>
</div><div>And like they said, this is a thank you to your guests. If you had people help you move into a new house, then had them for dinner to say thank you, would you make them cook or pay?

</div>

JoanE2012 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_outdoor-weddings_potluck?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:666Discussion:2b9870d3-4828-465c-8f28-091ec5b2ca9cPost:d47ece77-92e4-4a02-9145-d967b63e52a3">Potluck</a>:
[QUOTE]Hey Ya'll My name is Amber, soon to be Mrs. Swanson! (yahhoooo!!!) My fiance and I are planning a very off beat wedding. First of all, we live in Washington. Our Location has been chosen for the NorthWest Trek in Eatonville, Wa. for Sometime in October (Still finalizing a date), Our Wedding is going to be outdoors, (Renting a 3000sqft tent to keep our guests dry and warm) and we are planning to do a Pot luck for our reception. Each family will bring a Dish that Represents their heritage. our families hail from all over the world (Philippians, Ireland, Scotland, germany, south africa, etc). I, of course, will order a beautiful cake, alcohol, water in glass bottles, etc Our eating utensils and plates will all be biodegradable, our cups will be recycled mason jars. Our center peices will be mason jars with water and floating candles, flowers, and lemons etc We're using picknic tables as well (putting white or light green as the table cloth and burlap as the table runners. Our wedding is planned to be very simplistic, family oriented, and as eco friendly as we can get it. we'll be using more candles for lighting as we can so we reduce the amount of electrcity that we're using. Of course, we cant go compltely electricty free as our wedding will be in the evening. My question is, Is it too much to ask our guests to prepare a dish from home or from the venue (there is a rentable cafe that I will be renting out for the evening and 95% of our guests are local) that represents their individual family heratige, write a small paper on where that food comes from, whats in it, and how is it made? Me and aj my fiance are huge into family, history, and heratage and that would be something we would love to do (not only to save money, but to learn about others). Thank you!!!
Posted by MrsSwanson369[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>It is incredibly rude to ask your guests to bring food to an event you are hosting. A reception is supposed to be a thank you for your guests. Host your guests properly. If you cannot afford to feed them on your own, switch venues, day of the week, time of day or save up longer.

</div>

watsonea4 · April 2013

Wow...lots of negative! I'm pretty sure The Knot even has a suggestion for this where the guests bring a dish instead of a gift. That was actually my original desire but I decided I would rather make my own food than miss out on wedding gifts

I suggest a middle ground because, yes, guests want to be fed: Cater/provide the MAIN COURSE(S) and let the guests bring side dishes in lieu of gifts. I also would make the dish explanations voluntary.

In the end, it all depends on what you want the day to be and how your guests will react. My family would be all for a good pot luck wedding. It's homey and Thanksgiving-y.

[Deleted User] · April 2013

Great idea for a cook out or family reunion. It's one thing if you are doing a reception and people offer to help out with food, but realistically, for someone to bring all the ingredients and dishes they will need to a place to prepare food there, just isn't pratical. Also depending on how much time guests have between the ceremony & reception, all you are going to get is cold dishes because how would they keep a hot dish hot? How are you going to coordinate the food to make sure first there is enough food & enough variety of food. Not everyone brining desserts? Plus you have to keep in mind to for every couple or family you invite,you're only getting food item.

Personally I think it's tacky to be invited to a reception and asked to bring food. And if it's a requirement, I'll get you a card, but there may not be much if any of a gift in it because I helped to host your reception by bringing food.

AdeleDazeem · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_outdoor-weddings_potluck?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:666Discussion:2b9870d3-4828-465c-8f28-091ec5b2ca9cPost:e791c14e-831c-4113-87ba-034010810676">Re: Potluck</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow...lots of negative! I'm pretty sure The Knot even has a suggestion for this where the guests bring a dish instead of a gift. That was actually my original desire but I decided I would rather make my own food than miss out on wedding gifts :) I suggest a middle ground because, yes, guests want to be fed: Cater/provide the MAIN COURSE(S) and let the guests bring side dishes in lieu of gifts. I also would make the dish explanations voluntary. In the end, it all depends on what you want the day to be and how your guests will react. My family would be all for a good pot luck wedding. It's homey and Thanksgiving-y.
Posted by watsonea4[/QUOTE]

Holy cannoli NO. Just freaking NOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

QueerFemme · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_outdoor-weddings_potluck?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:666Discussion:2b9870d3-4828-465c-8f28-091ec5b2ca9cPost:e791c14e-831c-4113-87ba-034010810676">Re: Potluck</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow...lots of negative! I'm pretty sure <strong>The Knot even has a suggestion for this</strong> where the guests bring a dish instead of a gift. That was actually my original desire but I decided I would rather make my own food than miss out on wedding gifts :) I suggest a middle ground because, yes, guests want to be fed: Cater/provide the MAIN COURSE(S) and let the guests bring side dishes in lieu of gifts. I also would make the dish explanations voluntary. In the end, it all depends on what you want the day to be and how your guests will react. My family would be all for a good pot luck wedding. It's homey and Thanksgiving-y.
Posted by watsonea4[/QUOTE]

The Knot doesn't care if you are rude to your guests. You should take suggestions that TheKnot offers like this with a HUGE grain of salt.

cwaggoner07 · April 2013

Is anyone throwing a shower for you? If they are, you can request that you do the recipe cards at the shower, where you send a blank recipe card out with the invitations, and people can write a recipe and bring it to the shower.

You could request that they give you a recipe from their heritage. That is a way for everyone to contribute to your overall theme without making them go out of their way for your wedding.

vsgal · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_outdoor-weddings_potluck?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:666Discussion:2b9870d3-4828-465c-8f28-091ec5b2ca9cPost:e791c14e-831c-4113-87ba-034010810676">Re: Potluck</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow...lots of negative! I'm pretty sure The Knot even has a suggestion for this where the guests bring a dish instead of a gift. That was actually my original desire but I decided I would rather make my own food than miss out on wedding gifts :) I suggest a middle ground because, yes, guests want to be fed: Cater/provide the MAIN COURSE(S) and let the guests bring side dishes in lieu of gifts. I also would make the dish explanations voluntary. In the end, it all depends on what you want the day to be and how your guests will react. My family would be all for a good pot luck wedding. It's homey and Thanksgiving-y.
Posted by watsonea4[/QUOTE]

So you would expect me to make potato salad for 100 guests? And find a way to transport it? And keep it cold so no one gets food poisoning? And hang around all night to get my dish back? And hope to goodness that no one has run off with my grandmother's serving spoon?

And trust that everyone else has clean habits in the kitchen? And are you going to take care of my hospital bill when I get food poisoning?

Tacky. Not only would I decline your invite, I would seriously reconsider our friendship.

mmmiler346 · April 2013

The idea is indeed unique. I think it will be tricky to coordinate all of this food. Will the reception be right after the ceremony? Will guests have to come early to drop off and set up their dish. What if someone does not bring food? And repeating the same food or not having enough food is an issue. I love all of your other ideas! I just think a potluck will be tricky and take a lot of coordinating on the dater. Your wedding should be a day to be enjoyed not running around dealing with all sorts of dishes.

NOLAbridealmost · April 2013

I'd decline your wedding and have a very hard time not telling anyone who'd listen about how rude your reception would be. "...and THEN she wanted me to write an essay describing how Chex Mix fits into my 'heritage'....."

glitterunicorn13 · April 2013

No, dear one... YOU receive your guests for being darlings and coming to your wedding.... this is a gift to them.... as others have said... SO MUCH has been lost in our casual approach to everything these days. I had a frend that recently told me that this his how she did her own reception years ago, and I had a hard time not making my "horrified face".

It is because we care that we state this so very staunchly.... NO......NOOOOOOO.......

BUT, the green theme is very cool.

theretamaragoes · April 2013

I can absolutely appreciate what you are trying to achieve here... but it really is a pretty big faux pas. No matter how you slice this up, what you are doing is asking guests to bring their own food. Eeeeep. Not good.

If you can't afford to feed that many people (which I can understand! budget is a huge issue for many people-- myself included!) I would say that you need to cut back your guestlist substantially. Invite only as many people as you can afford to properly host.

Everyone else can be invite of a 'Casual Potluck' at your house a month after your wedding... and yes, so THAT potluck, they can be asked to bring a dish representing their heritage.

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