Inviting people you aren't really friends with anymore

Re: Inviting people you aren't really friends with anymore

• AddieCake member

  

  April 2013

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_inviting-people-you-arent-really-friends-with-anymore?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:eecb3cde-d1e4-4895-9b65-4f2861084c44Post:5ce96104-9aaa-486e-b000-46fb4d6fa28b">Inviting people you aren't really friends with anymore</a>:
  [QUOTE]I keep bouncing back and forth on whether or not I should invite old friends of mine to our wedding. I have known these people for most of my life because I grew up in a small town and so we all went to school together. <strong> I don't associate with them anymore</strong>. When we started college, I distanced myself from them. I had always felt like an outcast to them and it was for the better.  Since then there have been a few offers to get together and I have run into some of them from time to time. So I am asking the internet, because I don't know what to do. Basically every criteria in my head for if someone should be invited, they get a checkmark in the "no" category.  But I feel so guilty over not inviting them.
  Posted by rsanna[/QUOTE]
  The bolded is your answer. <div>
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  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

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• kmbryant2413 member

  

  April 2013

  Ditto to Addie. No sense in paying for people to come that you are just going to feel awkward talking to, they will probably feel awkward being there, and you'll probably have to feel 'poised' while they are there. I'd give it a resounding no.

  my blog - for the love of ein
  'Next time, just fart.' - BriSox81
  

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• Simply Fated member

  

  April 2013

  You distanced yourself from them for a reason. It was a good reason. To invite them to your wedding could potentially negate that distance.

  
  

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• rsanna member

  

  April 2013

  That is the thing, I know that. I don't see these people anymore for a reason. But I still feel icky not inviting them. I know I need to get over myself. I think I just needed to hear it.

  
  
  

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• itzMS member

  

  April 2013

  If you want to invite them and want to see them at your wedding, go for it.
  
  I have several distant friends from high school and college. Because of work and/or family responsibilities, living in different states, and the fact that I'm not a huge phone talker person, I don't see/talk to this friends very often.
  
  We keep up via Facebook and an occassional text. Plus, getting together maybe a few times a year.
  
  I invited them all to the wedding, and most came. It was a fun reunion.
  

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• TheBaysideBride member

  

  April 2013

  
  A rule of thumb that helped me -- if you wouldn't have them over to dinner, skip 'em.
  
  sounds like you should skip them.

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• s-aries8990 member

  

  April 2013

  Do you feel any desire to hang out with these people in any capacity? Like if you were having a house party, would you invite them and want to catch up?
  
  I don't think you do.

   

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• MuppetFan member

  

  April 2013

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_inviting-people-you-arent-really-friends-with-anymore?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:eecb3cde-d1e4-4895-9b65-4f2861084c44Post:5ce96104-9aaa-486e-b000-46fb4d6fa28b">Inviting people you aren't really friends with anymore</a>:
  [QUOTE]I keep bouncing back and forth on whether or not I should invite old friends of mine to our wedding. I have known these people for most of my life because I grew up in a small town and so we all went to school together.  I don't associate with them anymore. When we started college, I distanced myself from them. I had always felt like an outcast to them and it was for the better.  Since then there have been a few offers to get together and I have run into some of them from time to time. So I am asking the internet, because I don't know what to do. Basically every criteria in my head for if someone should be invited, they get a checkmark in the "no" category.  But I feel so guilty over not inviting them.
  Posted by rsanna[/QUOTE]
  
  I only want people I care about at my wedding.  Why would you invite people that made you feel like an outcast? Do not do this.

    
  You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.
  
  

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• wittykitty14 member

  

  April 2013

  I understand completely.  Story time!  My best friend (since birth) and I drifted apart.  We used to be inseperable, but she treated me badly.  She and her family were always so important in my life though.  We ended up going to different high schools and we gradually fizzled out.  We hung out once in a while and had a good time, but it was clear that we're completely different people and our relationship is over.  I haven't talked to her in about 2 years, because some other things have happened in the past 4 years that affect us a bit.  It's been awkward since then. Last time I saw her, I knew we couldn't salvage the friendship, and I was ok with it.  I have, from time to time felt guilty that we're not inviting her and her family to the wedding, because our families were once so close.  But we're not inviting her, because there's no point anymore.  I ran into her mom recently, and it was really hard, because her mom is awesome.  Apparently my friend and her FI set a date for the wedding, and it's a week after mine, which is kind of funny.  As much as I miss the good memories we had, there were a lot of bad ones.  She's not someone I want in my life anymore, as hard as that is to say, so there's no point of inviting her.

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