Students

One in college, one FT?

Hello, my girlfriend and I are at a stressful point in our relationship. My girlfriend goes to school fulltime and lives at school 1hr 30min away from me. I work full time and try go spend as much time with her with out trying to stress her out. We have been planning a wedding for further times but I need to know what I can do to try to keep us together and our love strong. Any ideas?

Re: One in college, one FT?

  • Ah, the long distance and the busyness . . . I was there.  I love my FI dearly, but when I told him that I was busy and couldn't take time off school, he ignored me and tried to spend time with me anyways, making me fall behind.  So I can give you this advice - it is sweet to want to spend time together with your girlfriend, but please make sure you listen to her when she says what she needs . . . it'll end up making your relationship stronger rather than making her frustrated. 

    Maybe don't throw a wedding into things right now either if you are both too busy.  Unless she has been really hinting that she is ready to get married.  But summer is almost upon us - will she be home from school then or still living there?  That might make a difference - make the most of the time you have together when she is closer. 

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_one-in-college-one-ft?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:684Discussion:53ea9ffd-d192-403d-a1ae-26d88a4dcc57Post:d3f7c408-7daf-4cf4-8897-c0ad3c8bcda5">One in college, one FT?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hello, my girlfriend and I are at a stressful point in our relationship. My girlfriend goes to school fulltime and lives at school 1hr 30min away from me. I work full time and try go spend as much time with her with out trying to stress her out. We have been planning a wedding for further times but I need to know what I can do to try to keep us together and our love strong. Any ideas?
    Posted by hasses66[/QUOTE]
    <p style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:normal;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:8.5pt;">Is it just the stress that is causing problems or something else? </span><span style="font-size:12pt;font-family:'Times New Roman', serif;"></span></p> <p style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:10.5pt;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:8.5pt;"> </span></p> <p style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:10.5pt;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:8.5pt;">Open communication is the most important thing here.  If you can't communicate with her, long distance will help quickly end your relationship.  Tell her that you are concerned that the distance is causing problems.  Try to communicate in other ways like skype, texting, phone calls, letters, ect.  Ask her if she has any concerns for your relationship.  Be understanding when she doesn't have time for you due to school.  It’s no fun but such is life. </span></p> <p style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:10.5pt;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:8.5pt;"> </span></p> <p style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:10.5pt;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:8.5pt;"> </span></p> <p style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:10.5pt;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:8.5pt;">LD can be difficult but it can be overcome, just keep your lines of communication open and hear what she has to say and hopefully she will hear what you have to say as well. </span></p> <p style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:10.5pt;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:8.5pt;"> </span></p><div>
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    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained"-C.S. Lewis

    Married! May 27th, 2012

  • My fiance and I went through the same thing. I came home from school almost every weekend but I always had school work to do. Don't overlook the importance of simply being there. Spending time together doesn't always mean going out and doing something. I can't even count how many days my fiance and I just sat together on the couch while he watched a movie and I worked on school work. But I was content because I was getting things done but still being close to him. Skype is always good too. On weekends when I couldn't come home I took breaks inbetween assignments to catch up with him. If she's super stressed when you're with her try giving her a little space to work on what she needs to work on while you do something sweet for her like cook her dinner. She'll appreciate that. And as cliche as it sounds, it all comes down to whether or not you're supposed to be together. If it's meant to be, it'll happen. :) Good luck! 

    oh! and little surprises are GREAT! Have flowers sent to her one day at school out of the blue. 
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