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I received a delightful RSVP today

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Re: I received a delightful RSVP today

  • In Response to Re:I received a delightful RSVP today:[QUOTE]In Response to Re:I received a delightful RSVP today:I've always wondered why are bfs of like a day that no ones ever met protected by etiquette but flesh and blood aren't? Like why is it entitled when you want to being your kids but not your Bf of a day that no ones ever met. I don't want to argue at all I've just always wondered like I think that what she did was totally obnoxious. Posted by ridedatbike
    I don't know where to start.
    First off, family is what you make if it. I am closer to my bf than I am to most of my blood related family. I don't grade importance based on shared DNA.

    Not every event is for kids. That's a choice the host gets to make. Just like when one of my friends or I host Girls Night and boyfriends or husbands aren't invited. The host chooses who gets to attend.
    In an event that celebrates the joining of a couple into a legal and or religious union, to separate a couple is, logically, poor etiquette.

    The fact that you never met the person's SO is irrelevant because it isn't the bride or the groom dating him or her. Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]


    OK OK I mean the some places aren't meant for kids this g kinda makes sense....unfortunately for me ill never understand how a wedding is one of those places LOL. It is sad that you would be closer to a Bf and a child :/ maybe its because I had DD before h but she's my number one and there is absolutely no bond that could ever match that. I guess it all seems logical to you but none of that seems logical at all to me. I mean if everyone has a right to not invite my daughter I feel like I should have the same right not to invite a Buffy....I know its not correct etiquette but does it make any sense why that seems logical to me? No agreement necessary I just needed to express that LOL. But that other lady kinda has a point I'm not sure what not being ables to have kids has anything to do with it if you don't have kids you don't have them and you truly don't know what its like to be a parent its just fact I don't understand how that's offensive.
  • ridedatbikeridedatbike member
    100 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited April 2013
    In Response to Re:I received a delightful RSVP today:[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I received a delightful RSVP today:This is one of those things that when you have kids you will understand. People with kids especially young kids, usually can't go to weddings without their kids. Its hard to find babysitters and expensive, plus if they have young kids, they might not want to spend the day without their kids. If you specify on your wedding that you don't want kids, you need to anticipate that some adults simply will not be able to attend. Try not to be offended...its nothing personal against you. nbsp;when you have kids of your own you will understand. In Response to I received a delightful RSVP today :Posted by Butterfly898Oh please. We have two dogs, and that means everytime we travel for a wedding we need to find a dog sitter to stay at our house and take care of them. Do I expect people to invite my dogs to their wedding? Nope. When we decided to get dogs we knew it would limit our travel, so sometimes it means missing out on going places. Oh well, it was our choice. It is the same for kids. When you have them you know things are going to change.. Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]


    This has nothing to do with any wedding invitation but this is just awful you can't compare a human life one has carried inside of them for ten months then birthed them to a dog. That is so much more offensive than saying if you had kids you'd understand.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-received-a-delightful-rsvp-today?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9eb69e45-e05a-4e47-9efc-3081ccb90343Post:72dfac86-6eb0-4f99-8004-d98e95d5b324">Re:I received a delightful RSVP today</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:I received a delightful RSVP today: This has nothing to do with any wedding invitation but this is just awful you can't compare a human life one has carried inside of them for ten months then birthed them to a dog. That is so much more offensive than saying if you had kids you'd understand.
    Posted by ridedatbike[/QUOTE]

    No one said anyone's kid was like a dog. The point is that everyone has something in their life that make weddings less than convenient, be it kids, dogs, aging parents, work responsibilities, or a car that will only turn left. There's no reason to get offended by the host when they invite you to something, and you are unable or unwilling to attend because of a decision you made and a responsibility you took on.
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  • In Response to Re:I received a delightful RSVP today:[QUOTE]In Response to Re:I received a delightful RSVP today:In Response to Re:I received a delightful RSVP today: This has nothing to do with any wedding invitation but this is just awful you can't compare a human life one has carried inside of them for ten months then birthed them to a dog. That is so much more offensive than saying if you had kids you'd understand.Posted by ridedatbikeNo one said anyone's kid was like a dog. The point is that everyone has something in their life that make weddings less than convenient, be it kids, dogs, aging parents, work responsibilities, or a car that will only turn left. There's no reason to get offended by the host when they invite you to something, and you are unable or unwilling to attend because of a decision you made and a responsibility you took on. Posted by bunni727[/QUOTE]

    Well I thought I quotes liatris but she very clearly said her having two.dogs is the same as having a child and that is horrible.
  • tammym1001tammym1001 Akron, Ohio member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-received-a-delightful-rsvp-today?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9eb69e45-e05a-4e47-9efc-3081ccb90343Post:8424b659-8752-4d26-9695-2b1025d048e1">Re: I received a delightful RSVP today</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I received a delightful RSVP today : That really isn't the OP's problem.  What's the party line?  It's an invitation, not a subpoena.  The invitee shouldn't be offended that Aiden, Caiden, and Braiden didn't get invited.  Just like the OP shouldn't be offended when the invitee declines the invitation. That doesn't excuse the poor manners of the invitee in that horrific decline note, or the sense of entitlement that her crotchfruit should be invited to every event. ETA: Edited for clarity
    Posted by gmcr78[/QUOTE]
    I wasn't defending the invitee at all. I said she was ridiculously rude. I was really just asking a question. If people are using vacation time and spending money for travel and lodging to come to her wedding it would probably be pretty hard for them not to bring their children. Especially if it's a family member's wedding and the rest of their family will be attending. It's not like they can leave their kids with Grandma and Grandpa for three or four days to go to her wedding if Grandma and Grandpa will be attending the wedding themselves. That's a lot different than asking them to spend one day child free for a local wedding. It's not the bride's responsibility to worry about that, but it is probably something she should have thought about when planning a destination wedding and not inviting children. I would think she'll end up with a lot of no's because people won't be able to find somewhere for their kids to stay for several days or they won't want to leave them with a stranger in another town during the wedding.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-received-a-delightful-rsvp-today?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9eb69e45-e05a-4e47-9efc-3081ccb90343Post:1fedb550-9899-4d0d-8198-00b748a5b057">Re: I received a delightful RSVP today</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting a kid free wedding or party. I have one daughter who is 12. The only part of these discussions that I get offended by are the statements that basically say that the parents would enjoy a night away from thier kids. I get plenty of time away from my daughter <strong>and don't need someone planning a party specifically to give me a break from her.</strong> Now with that being said, my daughter has only gone to one wedding in her life and that was my cousins this past December. I dont mind getting a sitter as long as I know ahead of time that there are no kids. I don't understand why anyone gets offended by anyone's choice. There is no excuse to be ugly towards a host for any party you are invited to.
    Posted by Ctexasgurl26[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>I am pretty sure weddings aren't planned solely for the purpose of making parents get away from their kids for a night. </div><div>
    </div><div>No one said "all parents want a night away from their kid" but most parents do. Any parent I've ever known has wanted a night out for themselves so it's not a ridiculously inaccurate opinion. 

    </div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-received-a-delightful-rsvp-today?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9eb69e45-e05a-4e47-9efc-3081ccb90343Post:a2718694-de06-4e65-84fe-db5b033ec39b">Re: I received a delightful RSVP today</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I received a delightful RSVP today : I wasn't defending the invitee at all. I said she was ridiculously rude. I was really just asking a question. If people are using vacation time and spending money for travel and lodging to come to her wedding it would probably be pretty hard for them not to bring their children. Especially if it's a family member's wedding and the rest of their family will be attending. It's not like they can leave their kids with Grandma and Grandpa for three or four days to go to her wedding if Grandma and Grandpa will be attending the wedding themselves. That's a lot different than asking them to spend one day child free for a local wedding. It's not the bride's responsibility to worry about that, but it is probably something she should have thought about when planning a destination wedding and not inviting children. I would think she'll end up with a lot of no's because people won't be able to find somewhere for their kids to stay for several days or they won't want to leave them with a stranger in another town during the wedding.
    Posted by tammym1001[/QUOTE]

    And you would be correct-most people who plan destination weddings, childless or not, already realize that they are going to get a lot of nos.  Not an issue for anyone to have to worry about than the bride and groom.  That's their prerogative. 
    You're right-it's not the responsibility of the bride and groom to make their wedding convenient for anyone.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-received-a-delightful-rsvp-today?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9eb69e45-e05a-4e47-9efc-3081ccb90343Post:15e6a38b-b243-45e3-853f-5a0468068948">Re: I received a delightful RSVP today</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I received a delightful RSVP today : I am pretty sure weddings aren't planned solely for the purpose of making parents get away from their kids for a night.  No one said "all parents want a night away from their kid" but most parents do. Any parent I've ever known has wanted a night out for themselves so it's not a ridiculously inaccurate opinion. 
    Posted by allychase[/QUOTE]

    The parents who don't want an occasional night away from their kids are the ones who will be moving to college with them and going with them on their job interviews.
    pabride56
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-received-a-delightful-rsvp-today?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9eb69e45-e05a-4e47-9efc-3081ccb90343Post:a6bbdc31-6bfe-45dd-bc5c-a72f2dbf001e">Re:I received a delightful RSVP today</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:I received a delightful RSVP today: Well I thought I quotes liatris but she very clearly said her having two.dogs is the same as having a child and that is horrible.
    Posted by ridedatbike[/QUOTE]

    You quoted her, but she said that just because she has a resposibility that makes travelling inconvienient is no reason to insist that the hosts allevieate that issue for her. In her case that responsibility is dogs that she chose to adopt, in some cases it is children people chose to have. Either way, the invitees made a choice to accept a responsibility that makes travelling difficult, and shouldn't write nasty notes to hosts because they are displeased about the hassle caused by those choices. It's just not nice.
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  • In Response to Re:I received a delightful RSVP today:[QUOTE]In Response to Re:I received a delightful RSVP today:In Response to Re:I received a delightful RSVP today:In Response to Re:I received a delightful RSVP today: This has nothing to do with any wedding invitation but this is just awful you can't compare a human life one has carried inside of them for ten months then birthed them to a dog. That is so much more offensive than saying if you had kids you'd understand.Posted by ridedatbikeNo one said anyone's kid was like a dog. The point is that everyone has something in their life that make weddings less than convenient, be it kids, dogs, aging parents, work responsibilities, or a car that will only turn left. There's no reason to get offended by the host when they invite you to something, and you are unable or unwilling to attend because of a decision you made and a responsibility you took on. Posted by bunni727

    Well I thought I quotes liatris but she very clearly said her having two.dogs is the same as having a child and that is horrible. Posted by ridedatbike[/QUOTE]

    She wasn't saying having a kid is the same as having a dog. Just the choice you make and the responsibility that may prevent you from participating in everything. As you find her comment offensive, I find your beliefs offensive. You underestimate a humandog connection. I don't want kids and my dogs are my kids.I appreciate carrying a baby and raising it but for some people, pets are all they have. I would take a bullet for my dog but wouldn't expect them to be invited everywhere.but don't try to tell me they are any less special to me than a human baby is to you.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-received-a-delightful-rsvp-today?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9eb69e45-e05a-4e47-9efc-3081ccb90343Post:8424b659-8752-4d26-9695-2b1025d048e1">Re: I received a delightful RSVP today</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I received a delightful RSVP today : That really isn't the OP's problem.  What's the party line?  It's an invitation, not a subpoena.  The invitee shouldn't be offended that Aiden, Caiden, and Braiden didn't get invited.  Just like the OP shouldn't be offended when the invitee declines the invitation. That doesn't excuse the poor manners of the invitee in that horrific decline note, or the sense of entitlement that her crotchfruit should be invited to every event. ETA: Edited for clarity
    Posted by gmcr78[/QUOTE]

    <div>I laughed at Aiden, Caiden and Braiden.  And I'm not trying to "start anything," but crotchfruit? Really?  I understand that child-free people are offended by the "when you have kids" and "you'll change your mind" comments, and I would never do that to anyone, but as a person who chose to have a child that's really offensive.  If I ever heard someone refer to my daughter as "crotchfruit" I would slap the sh*t out of them. Us "breeders" aren't supposed to question your choices, but you can make fun of ours and call them derogatory names?  I just don't get it.  I wish a CF person could explain it to me in a way that made sense.  Keep in mind you were someone's crotchfruit once. </div>
  • Just because you copulated successfully and your female organ system works correctly doesn't mean you get special license to be rude.
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    pabride56
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-received-a-delightful-rsvp-today?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9eb69e45-e05a-4e47-9efc-3081ccb90343Post:f226283d-b929-4e09-962c-6daeb7671f72">Re: I received a delightful RSVP today</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I received a delightful RSVP today : I laughed at Aiden, Caiden and Braiden.  And I'm not trying to "start anything," but crotchfruit? Really?  I understand that child-free people are offended by the "when you have kids" and "you'll change your mind" comments, and I would never do that to anyone, but as a person who chose to have a child that's really offensive.  If I ever heard someone refer to my daughter as "crotchfruit" I would slap the sh*t out of them. Us "breeders" aren't supposed to question your choices, but you can make fun of ours and call them derogatory names?  I just don't get it.  I wish a CF person could explain it to me in a way that made sense.  Keep in mind you were someone's crotchfruit once. 
    Posted by cmacch[/QUOTE]

    I think it's more the rude name in response to the notion that the child needs to go everywhere the parent goes.

    I have a 2 yo and she hasn't attended many weddings with us.   Getting a sitter or not attending is just part of the deal.
  • edited April 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-received-a-delightful-rsvp-today?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9eb69e45-e05a-4e47-9efc-3081ccb90343Post:6a85f833-afe9-4a32-9993-f7dc0e7808c1">Re: I received a delightful RSVP today</a>:
    [QUOTE]This is one of those things that when you have kids you will understand. People with kids - especially young kids, usually can't go to weddings without their kids. Its hard to find babysitters (and expensive), plus if they have young kids, they might not want to spend the day without their kids. If you specify on your wedding that you don't want kids, you need to anticipate that some adults simply will not be able to attend. Try not to be offended...its nothing personal against you.  when you have kids of your own you will understand. In Response to I received a delightful RSVP today :
    Posted by Butterfly898[/QUOTE]

    <div>What a ridiculous response. An invitation is an invitation...not a summons. This woman is very well to do, the wife of a Dr., and goes to formal dinners all the time in which her children are not invited. It was ABSOLUTELY personal, calculated, catty, and passive agressive.. She meant for it to be a slap in my face. The way she responded to me was completely rude and uncalled for. FI and I have every right to invite only those that we want to attend. We chose a destination wedding specifically so only those that truly want to be there with us will be. I could care less that they aren't coming, but responding to me the way she did was not warranted.</div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-received-a-delightful-rsvp-today?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9eb69e45-e05a-4e47-9efc-3081ccb90343Post:72dfac86-6eb0-4f99-8004-d98e95d5b324">Re:I received a delightful RSVP today</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:I received a delightful RSVP today: This has nothing to do with any wedding invitation <strong>but this is just awful you can't compare a human life one has carried inside of them for ten months then birthed them to a dog.</strong> That is so much more offensive than saying if you had kids you'd understand.
    Posted by ridedatbike[/QUOTE]

    Point







    you


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  • ChloeaghChloeagh member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited April 2013
    human life one has carried inside of them for ten months then birthed

    Did you know in ancient Rome, if a baby was born 10 months after its father's death, it didn't get any inheritance?
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    pabride56
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-received-a-delightful-rsvp-today?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9eb69e45-e05a-4e47-9efc-3081ccb90343Post:fdfa15f7-e059-4f47-b7ae-f41e47c2a74c">Re:I received a delightful RSVP today</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:I received a delightful RSVP today: She wasn't saying having a kid is the same as having a dog. Just the choice you make and the responsibility that may prevent you from participating in everything. As you find her comment offensive, I find your beliefs offensive. <strong>You underestimate a humandog connection. I don't want kids and my dogs are my kids.I appreciate carrying a baby and raising it but for some people, pets are all they have. I would take a bullet for my dog but wouldn't expect them to be invited everywhere.but don't try to tell me they are any less special to me than a human baby is to you.</strong>
    Posted by MartinAston[/QUOTE]

    This.  Our cats are our children.  When we lost one of our girls last year, we were beyond devastated.  Her absence is still felt.  Hell, we postponed our wedding from last September to this month because we spent our entire savings to that point trying to save her life.  We don't regret it at all.

    Ours are all rescues/abused in past and to see them blossom and feel safe to trust again is as beautiful to me as childbirth is to parents.  I love my friends who have chosen to have kids; they're great parents raising wonderful people.  I have no personal desire to parent a child.  I'm phobic of pregnancy.  But my cats?  They're my girls.  The end.

    Being truly respectful and "understanding" means not only acknowledging that some parents will not/cannot find a sitter and will decline adult-only weddings, that some truly don't feel they need a break from the kids (maybe their schedules given them plenty of time).  It also means not patronizing people by assuming a) that being engaged means not yet having children' b) that marriage=procreation; c) that it's impossible to understand something one hasn't personally endured; and d) that animals are "lesser" lives. 

    I'm lucky that most of my guests don't have children but the ones who do didn't complain at all about the issue.  Our venue is a brewery so we used the legal drinking age as our firm reasoning (honestly, we just didn't want kids at our wedding and chose a venue that reinforced that).  But we were prepared for issues and prepared to miss out on a few people because of our choice.  That's what accountability is... kind of like having a child.  It may mean making a choice that sucks, like missing a wedding because you can't have a sitter.  No need to be miserable about your own life choices, like this cousin was to OP.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-received-a-delightful-rsvp-today?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9eb69e45-e05a-4e47-9efc-3081ccb90343Post:f6f9c40c-731e-4d3c-a22b-c5b98fdbece1">Re: I received a delightful RSVP today</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I received a delightful RSVP today : Careful saying things like that; some women don't want kids, and some can't have kids. There is no reason to think they are less able to understand because of it. I can understand parents wanting to be near their kids and I can understand not wanting the expense of a babysitter. I can understand being disappointed that you have to skip the wedding because you can't find a babysitter. What I can't understand is writing mean notes to hosts when a simple decline would suffice. OP had every right to not invite kids, and the adults should have declined if they didn't want to attend without them. Instead, they chose to send a nasty, uncalled-for note to OP.
    Posted by bunni727[/QUOTE]

    Exactly (as usual, I agree with bunni)
  • Also, my new porn star name is "Crotch Fruit."
  • Personally. 
    I am an everyone from the immesdiate family (that includes cousins) gets invited type of person. With certain exceptions like never met this relative, or restraining orders. So to me this depends on how many times you see this cousins and children. If you see them often they really should be invited. I don't think a work friends children should be entitled to an invite.

    With that being said. Her response made me laugh. She told you why she thought wasn't coming and no apology needed in my opnion. Also, you maybe should have sent a letter of some sort out to family explaining why kids aren't invited. So that this could of been prevented. If she still did that after knowing the situation then it might be rude. Again, I think it depends on the closeness of this cousin in general though. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-received-a-delightful-rsvp-today?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9eb69e45-e05a-4e47-9efc-3081ccb90343Post:f22c217d-c3dc-48c8-8686-cc6698c46dd1">Re: I received a delightful RSVP today</a>:
    [QUOTE]Personally.  I am an everyone from the immesdiate family (that includes cousins) gets invited type of person. With certain exceptions like never met this relative, or restraining orders. So to me this depends on how many times you see this cousins and children. If you see them often they really should be invited. I don't think a work friends children should be entitled to an invite. With that being said. Her response made me laugh. She told you why she thought wasn't coming and no apology needed in my opnion. Also, you maybe should have sent a letter of some sort out to family explaining why kids aren't invited. So that this could of been prevented. If she still did that after knowing the situation then it might be rude. Again, I think it depends on the closeness of this cousin in general though. 
    Posted by kthomasgregorio[/QUOTE]

    <div>That's great for you, but that is not how my family works and I and my FI have every right to invite ONLY the ones we want to be there. I have never even met this woman. FI sees her once a year maybe. We would much rather have other friends be there in her place. She was only invited because she is family. </div><div>
    </div><div>She was told last fall by FMIL why we are not inviting children. She mentioned all the reasons why they aren't invited and this woman never mentioned any problem or offense when she became aware that her precious babies would not be invited. </div><div>
    </div><div>You are delusional if you think she doesn't owe me an apology. She is a very calculating and passive agressive woman who wrote what she wrote to be a slap in my face. You don't know her and can't say that is not exactly what she meant by that, but I do because I have first hand information on her personality from FI and FMIL. </div>
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-received-a-delightful-rsvp-today?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9eb69e45-e05a-4e47-9efc-3081ccb90343Post:f22c217d-c3dc-48c8-8686-cc6698c46dd1">Re: I received a delightful RSVP today</a>:
    [QUOTE]Personally.  I am an everyone from the immesdiate family (that includes cousins) gets invited type of person. With certain exceptions like never met this relative, or restraining orders. So to me this depends on how many times you see this cousins and children. If you see them often they really should be invited. I don't think a work friends children should be entitled to an invite. With that being said. Her response made me laugh. She told you why she thought wasn't coming and no apology needed in my opnion. Also, you maybe should have sent a letter of some sort out to family explaining why kids aren't invited. So that this could of been prevented. If she still did that after knowing the situation then it might be rude. Again, I think it depends on the closeness of this cousin in general though. 
    Posted by kthomasgregorio[/QUOTE]

    No bride/groom, or the host(s) of any gathering, regardless of the size or reason it's being held, owes anybody any explanation for why anybody wasn't invited. Fuckthat noise right in the ass. You have no right to tell somebody who they should and shouldn't invite to an event that you aren't hosting. Your opinion means less than nothing if you aren't shelling out cash for the party.
  • edited April 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-received-a-delightful-rsvp-today?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9eb69e45-e05a-4e47-9efc-3081ccb90343Post:a6bbdc31-6bfe-45dd-bc5c-a72f2dbf001e">Re:I received a delightful RSVP today</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:I received a delightful RSVP today: Well I thought I quotes liatris but she very clearly said her having two.dogs is the same as having a child and that is horrible.
    Posted by ridedatbike[/QUOTE]

    <div><div>I'm usually just a lurker, but I couldn't ignore this. <span style="font-size:11px;">Dogs and humans are both animals, and to say comparing them is horrible is ridiculous. </span></div><div>
    </div><div>We have a responsibility to care for our dogs. We feed them and clothe them and take them to the doctor regularly to keep them healthy. They take classes and tests to show that will listen to us when we tell them what to do and that they know how to treat other animals and people properly and with respect.</div><div>
    </div><div>When they were young we woke up wth them every hour and a half until they were old enough to sleep through the night. We potty trained them taught them not to touch the oven because it's hot and to never cross the street alone. They go to the park for exercise and to learn how to socialize, and they have special toys and games at home to stimulate their brain functions. They need love and attention, and someone to cuddle with when they're scared or sick. They can't be left alone for long without a sitter. We love spending time with our dogs more than some of the people we know.</div><div>
    </div><div>Dogs each have their own individual personalities and quirks. They interact with each other like any sibings would. They play together and they fight over toys and sometimes they snuggle when they take naps. The older one protects the younger one from anything he thinks is a threat, the same way my siblings and I look out for each other. </div><div>
    </div><div>Babies and dogs may not be exactly the same, but if you think that sounds nothing like the responsibility of having a child, then you clearly didn't have a human baby.</div></div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-received-a-delightful-rsvp-today?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9eb69e45-e05a-4e47-9efc-3081ccb90343Post:72dfac86-6eb0-4f99-8004-d98e95d5b324">Re:I received a delightful RSVP today</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:I received a delightful RSVP today: This has nothing to do with any wedding invitation but this is just awful <strong>you can't compare a human life one has carried inside of them for ten months then birthed them</strong> to a dog. That is so much more offensive than saying if you had kids you'd understand.
    Posted by ridedatbike[/QUOTE]

    <div>This is also pretty offensive to people who adopt or use surrogates to have their children. Do you really belive that they're less loved by their parents because their mothers didn't actually carry them? And what about fathers? Do they love their children less than mothers because they are not biologically able to give birth? Because that's what this post suggests.</div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-received-a-delightful-rsvp-today?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9eb69e45-e05a-4e47-9efc-3081ccb90343Post:f22c217d-c3dc-48c8-8686-cc6698c46dd1">Re: I received a delightful RSVP today</a>:
    [QUOTE]Personally.  I am an everyone from the immesdiate family (that includes cousins) gets invited type of person. With certain exceptions like never met this relative, or restraining orders. So to me this depends on how many times you see this cousins and children. If you see them often they really should be invited. I don't think a work friends children should be entitled to an invite. With that being said. Her response made me laugh. She told you why she thought wasn't coming and no apology needed in my opnion. Also, you maybe should have sent a letter of some sort out to family explaining why kids aren't invited. So that this could of been prevented. If she still did that after knowing the situation then it might be rude. Again, I think it depends on the closeness of this cousin in general though. 
    Posted by kthomasgregorio[/QUOTE]

    All of this is completely incorrect advice, so there's that. She can invite to HER wedding that SHE is hosting whoever she darn well pleases. Also LOL to the "just send them a letter explaining who isn't invited." Yeah, let us know how that goes over for ya.


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    Vacation
  • Thank you to the vast majority supporting me in this post. I feel justified in feeling pissed off. Still waiting on that apology email btw. I am hoping she will be too embarrassed to show her face at our wedding. 

    Thank you also for the great advice given many months ago over how to handle not inviting children to the wedding. This experience was the only negative one we had to deal with and it saves so much time by not having to call and clarify who was and was not invited to our wedding. I have been lurking more than posting lately since I am getting fairly close to the wedding and don't have as much time as is needed, but I am still here. 
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  • In Response to Re:I received a delightful RSVP today:[QUOTE]This is one of those things that when you have kids you will understand. People with kids especially young kids, usually can't go to weddings without their kids. Its hard to find babysitters and expensive, plus if they have young kids, they might not want to spend the day without their kids. If you specify on your wedding that you don't want kids, you need to anticipate that some adults simply will not be able to attend. Try not to be offended...its nothing personal against you. nbsp;when you have kids of your own you will understand.




    I will have my son at my wedding and the two kids who are in my wedding and no other kids are invited. I already know at least two people who have tried to plan to bring their kids and the invites are not even out yet... But they are not invited. They will not have seats they will not have food. They shouldn't come. If people have to say no because they can't find / afford / or feel comfortable with a baby sitter then they can decline. Just because they can't find / afford / or feel comfortable with using a baby sitter for the night does not mean I should have to afford / feel comfortable with kids all over my wedding. I have been to wedding without my child when he was very young ... i enjoyed the night even if i did call home a few times to check on him That is why RSVP can be sent back declining. You don't want to leave the kids home then say you can't come.
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