open bar vs cash bar

gailhowie · March 2013

I am planning on having an open bar for the cocktail hour then it will be a cash bar for the reception.

Question is:
Should i have an open bar for the entire reception?

Any feedback will be appreciated

MrsGandthebeag · March 2013

If you can afford it yes you should have an open bar the whole time.

AdeleDazeem · April 2013

As host, you are taking on the responsibility of properly hosting. This means that no one should open their wallet at your event. At your entire event.

Look at your budget. What can you afford? Wine and beer only for the entire reception? Fine. A signature drink for the entire reception? Good. Can't swing any alcohol for the whole reception, go dry.

What is not good: hosting part of the bar and offering the rest as cash. Never do this. Host what you can afford for the entire night and don't offer anything else at cash or otherwise.

MoonlightSilver · April 2013

You should absolutely have open bar. If you cannot afford a full open far, just host wine and beerm maybe a signature drink or two.

NYCMercedes · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_open-bar-vs-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:4f8c38ce-de75-4d5b-94bf-c66dfa8506d5Post:47a69ad1-4338-4734-8e5f-708afdfcbbfd">Re: open bar vs cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]As host, you are taking on the responsibility of properly hosting. This means that no one should open their wallet at your event. At your entire event. Look at your budget. What can you afford? Wine and beer only for the entire reception? Fine. A signature drink for the entire reception? Good. Can't swing any alcohol for the whole reception, go dry. What is not good: hosting part of the bar and offering the rest as cash. Never do this. Host what you can afford for the entire night and don't offer anything else at cash or otherwise.
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

I think Joy answered your question very well.

Summer2011Bride · April 2013

You either need open bar for all of it, beer and wine only for all of it, or a dry wedding. Hosting alcohol for only part of the evening is not a good option. It is awkward for guests who get a drink for free at 5 PM and then are asked to pay for it two hours later. Also guests should not have to open their wallets at your wedding.

You could do a limited bar, like beer and wine only (what we did) or beer, wine and signature cocktail. This would have to be for the whole night though and is a good option if you can't afford open bar all night long.

JoanE2012 · April 2013

Host what you can afford for the entire night. Do not have a cash bar - that is incredibly rude! You would never invite guests to your house for dinner and charge them for wine, would you?

gailhowie · April 2013

Thank u everyone

Peledreamsofrain · April 2013

People will remember your wedding very well and very fondly if you host them properly. Cash bars are tolerated at best, resented at worst. Cut back in areas people won't remember, like expensive flower displays, and sink the money into treating them well.

xopinkjayhawk · April 2013

I've been to a wedding where beer and champagne were provided. If the guest wanted a mixed drink, they paid. I didn't hear anyone complain! I could see where an open bar could break your bank (also depending on the guests and how much they like to drink.)

kaos16 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_open-bar-vs-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:4f8c38ce-de75-4d5b-94bf-c66dfa8506d5Post:dbae5519-2847-4cfd-af7a-a3bc7380e837">Re: open bar vs cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]I've been to a wedding where beer and champagne were provided. If the guest wanted a mixed drink, they paid. I didn't hear anyone complain! I could see where an open bar could break your bank (also depending on the guests and how much they like to drink.)
Posted by xopinkjayhawk[/QUOTE]

Just because someone had a partial cash bar doesn't make it correct etiquette wise or polite. What you have described is not properly hosting guests. Just because you didn't hear anyone complain doesn't mean they weren't muttering about it, or talking ill of the experience later!

crunchymamaof2 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_open-bar-vs-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:4f8c38ce-de75-4d5b-94bf-c66dfa8506d5Post:42495d7a-6d75-4360-968c-e3fa90787291">Re: open bar vs cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: open bar vs cash bar : Just because someone had a partial cash bar doesn't make it correct etiquette wise or polite. What you have described is not properly hosting guests. Just because you didn't hear anyone complain doesn't mean they weren't muttering about it, or talking ill of the experience later!
Posted by kaos16[/QUOTE]

Yeah but this isn't the etiquette board. Until joining TK I had no idea a cash bar was such a HUGE no-no. I mean, I personally felt that there should be an open bar for at least part of the night, all if the couple could afford it. We are doing the open bar during cocktail hour, then a cash bar with free soft drinks/non alcohol the entire night. Our budget is so limited as is and we don't have anything else to cut to be able to afford to have an entirely open bar. We're not having flower arrangements aside from the bouquets, we have the cheapest photographer, a cheaper DJ, no videographer, our guest list is already at the bare minimum for the venue, and we have the most reasonable venue in our area.

If we could afford it, we would totally leave it open all night. There is not one person in my life who I've talked to (before they knew we were getting married) that ever complained about a cash bar. I know etiquette wise it's a faux pas and I get that, but it seems like IRL it's not as big of a deal. This is even how our venue recommended we do it as it's how it's done the majority of the time in their experience.

So to the OP- if you can afford it somehow yes, keep it open all night. But if it's really not possible don't feel bad; I'm in the same boat!

k, big girl panties on. I know I'll get ripped a new one for this ;-)

Ella and Pedro · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_open-bar-vs-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:4f8c38ce-de75-4d5b-94bf-c66dfa8506d5Post:a46fbb0f-91b6-45db-9ca2-9efee51189d0">Re: open bar vs cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: open bar vs cash bar : Yeah but this isn't the etiquette board. Until joining TK I had no idea a cash bar was such a HUGE no-no. I mean, I personally felt that there should be an open bar for at least part of the night, all if the couple could afford it. We are doing the open bar during cocktail hour, then a cash bar with free soft drinks/non alcohol the entire night. Our budget is so limited as is and we don't have anything else to cut to be able to afford to have an entirely open bar. We're not having flower arrangements aside from the bouquets, we have the cheapest photographer, a cheaper DJ, no videographer, our guest list is already at the bare minimum for the venue, and we have the most reasonable venue in our area. If we could afford it, we would totally leave it open all night. There is not one person in my life who I've talked to (before they knew we were getting married) that ever complained about a cash bar. I know etiquette wise it's a faux pas and I get that, but it seems like IRL it's not as big of a deal. This is even how our venue recommended we do it as it's how it's done the majority of the time in their experience. So to the OP- if you can afford it somehow yes, keep it open all night. But if it's really not possible don't feel bad; I'm in the same boat! k, big girl panties on. I know I'll get ripped a new one for this ;-)
Posted by acove2006[/QUOTE]

There is really nothing wrong with serving NO alcohol, if that is what you can afford without people needing to pay for anything, all night. People who say or feel they need alcohol to 'have a good time' make me feel sad for them. A good time is not based on drinking. You could serve a single signature cocktail and champagne for the toast, and keep it non-alcoholic otherwise, if no alcohol whatsoever seems too extreme. There are many ways to save money and provide affordable free beverages, vs. a cash bar.

crunchymamaof2 · April 2013

Is it the alcohol part or just guests having to pay for any beverage that makes it such a faux pas? Like I said we'll do the 1 hour open bar, and then during dinner and rest of reception we'll provide all non-alcoholic beverages free. It's just the alcohol that will be cash. Plus the champagne toast will also be offered free. Is this just as bad? Our guests aren't huge drinkers but we figured at least they would have the option after cocktail hour if they so choose, otherwise they will be well provided with food and other drinks the entire night.

xopinkjayhawk · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_open-bar-vs-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:4f8c38ce-de75-4d5b-94bf-c66dfa8506d5Post:42495d7a-6d75-4360-968c-e3fa90787291">Re: open bar vs cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: open bar vs cash bar : Just because someone had a partial cash bar doesn't make it correct etiquette wise or polite. What you have described is not properly hosting guests. Just because you didn't hear anyone complain doesn't mean they weren't muttering about it, or talking ill of the experience later!
Posted by kaos16[/QUOTE]

<div>The couple was young and on a budget, also paying themselves. Maybe I wasn't bothered because I really don't drink but I think it was good to just have the alcohol there as an option (for the "party" guests). I really didn't know them that well, they are friends of my fiance's family, but they also didn't seem to be big drinkers. I think it was better to have the cash bar for those who wanted it, rather than a completely dry wedding. Hey, they don't have to buy drinks! Non-alcoholic drinks were provided. Maybe I feel strongly about this as a poor future bride haha Anyway, just my opinion. :)</div>

kaos16 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_open-bar-vs-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:4f8c38ce-de75-4d5b-94bf-c66dfa8506d5Post:1bc99a4f-f5b6-47c5-ba5a-95495e243751">Re: open bar vs cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: open bar vs cash bar : The couple was young and on a budget, also paying themselves. Maybe I wasn't bothered because I really don't drink but I think it was good to just have the alcohol there as an option (for the "party" guests). I really didn't know them that well, they are friends of my fiance's family, but they also didn't seem to be big drinkers. I think it was better to have the cash bar for those who wanted it, rather than a completely dry wedding. Hey, they don't have to buy drinks! Non-alcoholic drinks were provided. Maybe I feel strongly about this as a <strong>poor future bride</strong> haha Anyway, just my opinion. :)
Posted by xopinkjayhawk[/QUOTE]

You are certainly not the minority with classfying yourself as a "poor bride." Many on these boards are or were, myself included. With that being said, having a tight budget doesn't give you a free pass to be rude to guests. A big problem I forsee with cash bars is that people often don't take money to weddings, at least not more than a few dollars for tips. As such, I imagine someone going up to the bar, getting themself a glass of wine and being told it's $7. Does that person run around trying to find money? sheepishly return the drink? It's a bad scene.

I believe that you can properly host guests with any budget. There is never a reason to not be a good host that I can think of.

Our friends and family tend to drink at weddings, we knew this. . . . . as such, we worked a budget in a way that we had more for a bar and less for some other things. We cut out videography, went with minimal flowers, used the centerpieces of the venue, etc.

xopinkjayhawk · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_open-bar-vs-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:4f8c38ce-de75-4d5b-94bf-c66dfa8506d5Post:a8897d4d-279c-41e5-b50b-9cf52e4aaacf">Re: open bar vs cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: open bar vs cash bar : You are certainly not the minority with classfying yourself as a "poor bride." Many on these boards are or were, myself included. With that being said, having a tight budget doesn't give you a free pass to be rude to guests. A big problem I forsee with cash bars is that people often don't take money to weddings, at least not more than a few dollars for tips. As such, I imagine someone going up to the bar, getting themself a glass of wine and being told it's $7. Does that person run around trying to find money? sheepishly return the drink? It's a bad scene. I believe that you can properly host guests with any budget. There is never a reason to not be a good host that I can think of. Our friends and family tend to drink at weddings, we knew this. . . . . as such, we worked a budget in a way that we had more for a bar and less for some other things. We cut out videography, went with minimal flowers, used the centerpieces of the venue, etc.
Posted by kaos16[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>It's nice to read other's input and ideas. I have about a year and half to get my wedding together. Not sure where we stand on the alcohol portion of the evening just yet. My fiance wants more of a party; I worry about people have a little <em>too</em> much fun. haha

</div>

jkuzma123 · April 2013

Almost every wedding I have ever been to, beer and wine are provided along with a champagne toast. If guests prefer mixed drinks, they pay for them. I have never complained, I've never heard a complaint. I've never attended a wedding without cash in hand. Expecting a young couple just starting out in life who has already spent upwards of 20,00040,000 for your dinner and entertainment for the evening to pay for your unlimited alcohol consumption is rude. Make no expectations as a guest, you will sometimes be let down if you do but always be pleasantly surprised when you don't. My guests for our wedding in September will have unlimited access to beer, wine, and nonalcoholics, anything else they.will have to pay for themselves.

Pookieson · April 2013

We are just serving beer, wine and champagne. I've posted this already, got mixed feedback, but the bar will remain open. The venue refuses to close it. We are putting up a sign that says, "Bar Menu: Beer, Wine, Champagne, Soda" Hopefully this deters people from even asking if they can buy something.

Pookieson · April 2013

PS I agree with PP posters that you should offer something all night if you will be offering alcohol at some point. I've been to a wedding that we didn't know it was a cash bar. I ordered a glass of wine and a beer and she said, "that'll be $12" whaaat??? I had to run and borrow money from a friend who happened to bring cash. So embarrassing. They brought in their own alcohol too.

winnie100 · April 2013

This topic always brings doubt and confusion for so many engaged couples. My fiance' and I were married in September 2011 and we chose a cash bar for our guests and served wine during our plated dinner for our guests that would like a glass of wine (we paid for the wine). Now, let me say this: Every couple has their reason(s) for personal choices regarding alcohol consumption at their wedding venue. Our reason was difficult but a realistic decision based on our personal feelings regarding alcohol and family concern. My husband and I are not drinkers, we rarely have a drink but that is our choice. There are several family members on his side that are recovering alcoholics or need to be recovered alcoholics. We felt it was best to make most of our guests comfortable about alcohol even if it may have offended a few guests. Remember this on your day..This day is about you and your new spouse sharing your deepest emotions with each other and the special people in your life, not a frat party unless the frat party is what you both desire. My husband and I put what money we would of spent on an open bar into entertainment for our guests. We had a play area for the smaller children, a photobooth, which was a HUGE HIT for every guest, diverse and varied dessert and candy buffet and dance contests. We ensured that our guests had more to think about than their next drink. A wedding and reception can be an entertaining and fun time for all even if they are sober. Good Luck with your decision and enjoy married life! It truly is a blessing!

Hello+Panda · April 2013

I despise cash bars! I cannot tell you how many weddings I have been to where I dropped $100+ on some LeCrueset / Calaphalon / Tiffany's item from the registery then I have to pay for a drink! You are throwing a party, and if you want alcohol, then foot the bill. If it is a cost issue or you have personal reasons, then simpy serve nonalcolics and whatever is needed for the toast. I feel far less insulted by there being no alcohol than I do by there being a cash bar. I actually went to one wedding where the champagne for the toast was charged - $9 for a glass of Cook's Champagne!

ashleestadt · April 2013

Do what's within your budget and/or what you're comfortable with. We're having free wine, beer, and non-alchoholic beverages up to a certain dollar amount at the reception. We are doing this because the parents of my FH's family, plus a few other members on my dad's side, are recovering alcoholics and a couple of them are still struggling with consuming too much all at once. I agree with winnie100 and believe that safety and consideration should be #1 priority over whether or not it's proper etiquette to have an open bar.

LMM1215 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_open-bar-vs-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:4f8c38ce-de75-4d5b-94bf-c66dfa8506d5Post:a46fbb0f-91b6-45db-9ca2-9efee51189d0">Re: open bar vs cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: open bar vs cash bar : Yeah but this isn't the etiquette board. Until joining TK I had no idea a cash bar was such a HUGE no-no. I mean, I personally felt that there should be an open bar for at least part of the night, all if the couple could afford it. We are doing the open bar during cocktail hour, then a cash bar with free soft drinks/non alcohol the entire night. Our budget is so limited as is and we don't have anything else to cut to be able to afford to have an entirely open bar. We're not having flower arrangements aside from the bouquets, we have the cheapest photographer, a cheaper DJ, no videographer, our guest list is already at the bare minimum for the venue, and we have the most reasonable venue in our area. If we could afford it, we would totally leave it open all night. There is not one person in my life who I've talked to (before they knew we were getting married) that ever complained about a cash bar. I know etiquette wise it's a faux pas and I get that, but it seems like IRL it's not as big of a deal. This is even how our venue recommended we do it as it's how it's done the majority of the time in their experience. So to the OP- if you can afford it somehow yes, keep it open all night. But if it's really not possible don't feel bad; I'm in the same boat! k, big girl panties on. I know I'll get ripped a new one for this ;-)
Posted by acove2006[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Are you able to provide your own alcohol for the reception (aka major Costco run) and have the bartenders serve the alcohol you have provided? This would cut costs without having your guests pay for their own drinks.

</div>

heathertims · April 2013

I'm going the same route as Winnie100. I understand the way it is seen, but this is the best choice for my family, as a "dry reception" would be (in my mother's words) "a nightmare".

Make the best choice for you. If you can afford it, and you have no concerns about people getting sloppy or in appropriate, and feel like it would better your reception, then absolutely do it!

catchphraz · April 2013

I am new to this, so bear with me as I may ramble. Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials though.

We are offering a hosted bar, however that being said we are setting a maximum for the bar. We are anticipating approximately 60 guests 21 or older. We decided to set the max at $1000 for everyone. We are getting a keg ($275) instead of bottled beer and only doing well drinks and wine. The bridal party and both sets of parents can drink anything they want. If a guest wants something besides what is available, they have the option of paying for it, which I think is reasonable. Our contact at the venue said this is very common for the type of reception we are having.

We are paying for everything ourselves, so our budget is limited. A not uncommon theme amongst the many brides on here. There have been a lot of great suggestions on here, but both you and your groom need to make the decision on what will work best for your wedding. Good luck and best wishes.

JMalettas · April 2013

Question is: Should i have an open bar for the entire reception? I think it should be completely up to the bride & groom. Yes, an open bar is nice, but it generally comes with a large bill too. That being said, my fiancé and I did opt to have an open bar, but we looked at what options we had too. Some people just have an open bar through-out cocktail hour and dinner, or open bar for wine only for the night. I've been to a wedding where they did a 'twoonie' bar. Which my ladies from Canada would get, (but basically each drink cost $2), which at the end of the night, left them with around 1/2 of the bar bill. I think however you do it, it won't be what people 'do' specifically remember about your night. Although, if you are going to have a cash bar of any sort, you should make sure to add that on to your invites or rsvps, so that guests know to bring cash.

Any feedback will be appreciated
Posted by gailhowie[/QUOTE]

Latham101114 · April 2013

If alcohol is a necessity for you and your guests find a way to make it an open bar. My fiance and his family are 3 drink minimum drinkers so purchasing will be offensive since I know how they drink. If ialcohol isn't important to you but you want to have an option for alcohol go for a cash bar. Wedding etiquete is getting changed and is almost completely different from even 5 years ago!

At the end of the day this is a celebration of marriage not the end all be all, theres no reason to go into debt to please others or skimp on something thats memorable for you!

jennedwards4966 · April 2013

I am doing beer & wine, however there will be a bar on the other side of the bulid for anyone who want something diffrernt.

Lisa50 · April 2013

Host what you can afford. Do not charge your guests for anything.

kwieskamp · April 2013

I am doing a cash bar for my entire reception. I understand that this technically is a faux-pax, but my fiance and I are both light drinkers. We had so many friends give us a hard time about not having alcohol at all, that we decided to do a cash bar. Our only cost is for the bartenders, which was only a couple hundred bucks. I think it totally depends on the couple/ budget. If people are unhappy, I frankly don't care. We didn't have the money to pay for people to get drunk. If they don't want to be at our wedding because we didn't get them free alcohol, then they probably shouldn't be there in the first place. The wedding is about getting married....

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