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Bridesmaid from Hell

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Re: Bridesmaid from Hell

  • In Response to Re: Bridesmaid from Hell:
    [QUOTE]I'm in law school so he's paying for it.  $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ That's why he feels he gets an opinion on whether there are crying people running around.  Also, I didn't ASK him to step in, he's a wonderful, involved father and when he saw his daughter having issues, he wanted to help.  Keep twisting those words though.  Can't help but notice the harshest critics have posted like, hundreds to thousands of times.  
    Posted by steffieallen[/QUOTE]

    Daddy is going to go on your job interviews with you too, isn't he? After all, he's entitled since he paid for your education, right? Will he also be joining you in the courtroom, provided you can find somebody to hire both you and your dad?

  • In Response to Re:Bridesmaid from Hell:
    [QUOTE]Interesting. I just learned that paying for your child's education entitles you to be a controlling, manipulative,helicopter parent. Oh, and if you post a lot you must give horrible advice. I'm going to write to Miss Manners now and tell her she's all used up because she writes too much.
    Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]

    What?? I just reread this entire thread, and the ONLY thing she said about her father was "Now my poor dad is even involved (and I think we all know how awkward dads can get at their daughters' weddings) and he is really concerned she's going to throw some hissy fit in the middle of the ceremony. "
    How is this being controlling and manipulative?? The poor man is just trying to make sure his daughter isn't taken advantage of by this bridesmaid. I would only hope my dad would do the same thing, and my dad isn't paying for my wedding, school, or ANYTHING.
  • In Response to Re:Bridesmaid from Hell:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Bridesmaid from Hell : What?? I just reread this entire thread, and the ONLY thing she said about her father was " Now my poor dad is even involved (and I think we all know how awkward dads can get at their daughters' weddings) and he is really concerned she's going to throw some hissy fit in the middle of the ceremony. " How is this being controlling and manipulative?? The poor man is just trying to make sure his daughter isn't taken advantage of by this bridesmaid. I would only hope my dad would do the same thing, and my dad isn't paying for my wedding, school, or ANYTHING.
    Posted by jackiebrim[/QUOTE]

    You clearly didnt read the other post from the OP. She claims that since her father is paying for the wedding, it gives him the right to have an opinion & bring himself into this mess with the BM. NO! Just because he is the father and because he is paying, doesnt give him any right to have anything to say or do about the BMs. They are not his BMs, therefore he should not have anything to say. & OP says she is 28, so why would her dad even get involved?! She is an adult...daddy doesnt need to come to the rescue for her. The "poor man" is putting himself in situations he doesnt have anything to do with.
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  • Yep, similar here as well. Both my BMs got DB dresses; sister ordered hers a couple weeks ago, and it won't be in until July 5th for my August 3rd wedding! We're hoping that they're just over-estimating the amount of time, as lots of alterations will need to be done. Sis is apparently between a 6, 8 and 14, so she had to order the size 14.


    In Response to Re: Bridesmaid from Hell:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridesmaid from Hell : I don't know Stage, I don't think so.  Like I said this has happened to me several times over the course of many years, and has happened to my sister a few times, and a few other friends.  Even w/o needing alterations it took a while to get our dresses in.  I usually need the bust taken in, but my mom sew and can normally do it. Maybe we all just have bad luck at DB? The only time I got a DB dress in a reasonable amount of time was when they had the color I needed in the size I needed on the rack! ETA: Maybe it has something to do with the designers?  This recent dress is one of the latest Vera Wangs.  I'm not sure if others have expereinced long wait times for their Vera's.
    Posted by cmsciulli[/QUOTE]
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  • I actually did read that post. I am just saying that it doesn't matter whether or not he is paying for the wedding. She never complained that he was getting involved and she never told him NOT to get involved.
  • In Response to Re:Bridesmaid from Hell:
    [QUOTE]I actually did read that post. I am just saying that it doesn't matter whether or not he is paying for the wedding. She never complained that he was getting involved and she never told him NOT to get involved.
    Posted by jackiebrim[/QUOTE]

    Well, she really should have told him NOT to get involved. As an adult, you dont need someone else fighting your battles. Her dad sounds like a dadzilla.
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  • You obviously have no idea what a dadzilla is. I had a dad who seemed to think he was part of every decision I made as an adult until this past year. To the point where he would threaten to take things away from me like my car, which was a graduation gift and was still in his name. Trying to help the situation when a father sees his daughter crying is not a "dadzilla," no matter what the age. He just sounds like a good dad. Had she told him to back off and he continued, that would be a different story. But this is her life, not yours, so you have no right to tell her what she "should" have done in this situation.
  • Dreamergirl8812Dreamergirl8812 your closet member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    The summary of OP's post:

    OP invited drama queen bridesmaid who caused drama to which OP responded with drama, to which OP's dad responded with drama.

    You're welcome.



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  • Where exactly does it say he "attacked" her bridesmaid and "verbally assaulted" her? Those are harsh verbs and extreme exaggerations. It is true that he should not have said anything to the bridesmaid, but we don't even know what was said. Also, we don't know the rest of the story. Maybe his reaction was not based solely on her tardiness.
  • In Response to Re: Bridesmaid from Hell:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridesmaid from Hell : What?! Nobody was being mean & nobody bashed her. Please point out specific things you are talking about. We all offered her advice. Good advice at that.
    Posted by Sierra524[/QUOTE]

    I think a lot of the comments were mean-spirited. The first few were really critical.
    Most of the comments involved judging her and making snarky comments about what she's already done: "I really dont understand why you asked her to be in your wedding party if you knew that she was like this? I also dont understand why you asked her if you dont plan on remaining friends with her after your wedding?” “It sounds like you knew exactly what you'd be signing up for if you asked her and you asked her anyway. That's on you, not her” (neither one of these comments contain advice)
    Some of the comments insinuated that because of this one problem she is there making everything about herself "Not everything is about you and your wedding,"
    Then people start to be mean about her FATHER "Is [your dad] going to mediate your marriage for you too" (that is just a cheap shot)
    And then there's the posts that are in a demanding, needlessly authoritative tone towards her " You will not "ask her to step down. You will not be asking. She will not be stepping down. You will be kicking her out. At least be honest about it." (Also, implying that she's not being honest about the situation)
    I mean you guys even criticized her posting structure, "paragraphs are your friend.”
    And then, and THEN, someone says “I give you one month as a lawyer before you run out of the room crying because the other lawyer was mean to you.” I don't know, I'm an attorney too, and if I insulted a coworker's father or said any of these deliberately personal insults in the workplace I would be fired. People generally don't do business that way.
    Sorry mod, I know these comments are probably not to the level they need to be for you to do anything about them and that's fine, whatever, but I stand behind jackiebrimm's “come on people!” I know there are probably nice comments on some of these boards sometimes, but I wouldn't post on here for advice after reading this. There are a ton of other wedding websites where people are nicer to each other.
    *Reposting this after reading the mod's comments.  Now it all makes a liiiittle bit more sense.  
  • In Response to Re: Bridesmaid from Hell:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridesmaid from Hell : I think a lot of the comments were mean-spirited. The first few were really critical. Most of the comments involved judging her and making snarky comments about what she's already done: "I really dont understand why you asked her to be in your wedding party if you knew that she was like this? I also dont understand why you asked her if you dont plan on remaining friends with her after your wedding?” “It sounds like you knew exactly what you'd be signing up for if you asked her and you asked her anyway. That's on you, not her” (neither one of these comments contain advice),
    Yeah maybe they were critical, but they were completely valid comments. Why in the world would she ask her to be a BM after openly admitting she doesnt plan on remaining friends with her after the wedding? And, she did know exactly what this girl is like & still asked her to be a BM. If shes such a drama queen, shes not going to stop being one just because of the wedding. She signed herself up for these issues when she decided on her BMs, and then came her to complain about the choice she made by asking her to be a BM.
     
    Some of the comments insinuated that because of this one problem she is there making everything about herself " Not everything is about you and your wedding,"
    This is true! Maybe this girl has something going on in her life, but instead of taking that into consideration, OP was all "shes going to ruin my wedding!". Just because you plan a wedding and get married, everybody elses life doesnt stop.
     
    Then people start to be mean about her FATHER "Is [your dad] going to mediate your marriage for you too"
    As an adult, she never shouldve got her father involved. You dont need other people to fight your battles for you. Her father never shouldve gotten involved.

    And then there's the posts that are in a demanding, needlessly authoritative tone towards her "   You will not "ask her to step down. You will not be asking. She will not be stepping down. You will be kicking her out. At least be honest about it." (Also, implying that she's not being honest about the situation)
    She is not being honest about it bc there is no way to ask your BM to "step down". She is kicking her out, but wants to make it a little nicer by saying "step down".

    I mean you guys even criticized her posting structure, "paragraphs are your friend.”
    If you're going to post on a public internet forum, atleast use proper formatting. Its not that hard.

    Sorry mod, I know these comments are probably not to the level they need to be for you to do anything about them and that's fine, whatever, but I stand behind jackiebrimm's “come on people!” I know there are probably nice comments on some of these boards sometimes, but I wouldn't post on here for advice after reading this. There are a ton of other wedding websites where people are nicer to each other.
    You're right, there are other websites where people are nicer. But, we are not here to validate bad ideas. We are not here to make it seem like everything is all rainbows & flowers, when in reality, what the OP is doing (asking her BM to "step down") is incredibly rude. Maybe weddingbee.com is a better place if you want all the rainbows & validation for awful ideas.
    Posted by jenkehl[/QUOTE]
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  • In Response to Re: Bridesmaid from Hell:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridesmaid from Hell :
    Posted by Sierra524[/QUOTE]
    I see your points, I do. I don't think that you're necessarily wrong either.  I also see people's points about what she could have done different in the first place, true, and how "asking her to step down" and "kicked out" can be one and the same.  
    I was just trying to look at it from the OP's perspective: that she wanted to be inclusive, and kind and include a friend who is part of their group even though she has a track record of personal drama.  Maybe she could have handled things differently but I don't think that the way she handled them was wrong either.  It seems to me like she was really trying to be sensitive to this friend and it backfired on her and she came here looking for advice.  Maybe it's just a different way of looking at it or maybe I'm wrong.
    I also agree that there's so much value in not having things all flowers and butterflies and giving someone validation for when they screwed up. An honest spot to bounce ideas around is so helpful. For some reason the responses in the thread just smacked of uneccesary meanness to me. Just trying to empathize.
  • DB told me my wedding gown would take 3-4 months to arrive. I had it in-hand in 3 weeks. Alterations (taking in a 1/2 inch on either side of both the satin dress and overlaying lace and beadwork plus adding a 6-point bustle to both layers) took a week and a half. And that' was my WEDDING GOWN. If you're concerned about abs dresses not being done with alterations on time, then don't use DB. I ordered a clearance BM dress from DB's website in a size larger than what I typically wear (it was at my house in under 2 weeks, btw) and had an independent seamstress take it in for me. From ordering to altered and wearable was a grand total of about a month and a half... And that's because I let it sit in the closet for a week before going to the seamstress.
  • She threw a fit at an event with other people in attendance, I'm taking away from this that her father was at the shower and intervened to stop the drama and probably told the girl she was being immature and needed to calm down so that an event being thrown for his daughter would not be ruined. I dont see what is inappropriate in that? She threw the fit in front of people anyone of them has a right to say something to her since its right in front of them.

    But the other girls are right unless OP wants to end the friendship you cannot "ask" her to step down either end the friendship or get over what has happened and talk to her about expectations of the friendship, arriving late is disrespectful.
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