NO longer need info-delete

emilyrodas · July 2012

NO longer need info

monikaedwards · July 2012

They do exist. However, those who have admitted that they were registering for honeymoon funds, etc. have been raked over the coals over in the Etiquette board. Good luck

emilyrodas · July 2012

Thanks, I know, thankfully we're not in the etiquette board. We've shared a home for 10-yrs now and would much rather enjoy a quiet getaway from our kids.

mikkiwin8 · July 2012

My cousin and his wife booked their honeymoon and then had a registry for things while they were there such as dinners, excursions, spa sessions etc.

Summer2011Bride · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_register-for-honeymoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:d7d9e87a-0c5c-47b7-b7fb-7a1f322db28dPost:f3b9648c-31a8-4957-89ab-d178b7538e94">Re: Register for Honeymoon $</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks, I know, thankfully we're not in the etiquette board. We've shared a home for 10-yrs now and would much rather enjoy a quiet getaway from our kids.
Posted by emilyrodas[/QUOTE]

It doesn't matter what board we're on; it still isn't a great idea to ask people to fund a vacation for you. First and foremost, HM registries are deceptive. Your guests think they are buying you a romantic dinner, but they aren't. They are giving money to a website that in turn writes you a check, which you can spend however you want. They're not actually booking and reserving a dinner for you at all. They are just giving you money, which they could've done without the third party. Also, this third party often times takes a cut themselves, so instead of $100, you might get $93.

AdeleDazeem · July 2012

If you'd like money, don't register.

Don't register for money. Ever.

HobokensFury · July 2012

Honeymoon registries are tacky and dishonest. Don't do it.

OBX2011 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_register-for-honeymoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:d7d9e87a-0c5c-47b7-b7fb-7a1f322db28dPost:f3b9648c-31a8-4957-89ab-d178b7538e94">Re: Register for Honeymoon $</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks, I know, <strong>thankfully we're not in the etiquette board.</strong>We've shared a home for 10-yrs now and would much rather enjoy a quiet getaway from our kids.
Posted by emilyrodas[/QUOTE]

Yes, but they read the HM board too, so there's that.

I am not a fan of a HM registry. I don't think it's up to your guests to fund YOUR HM. It's just screams rude & tacky to me. My BF did this and I did not put any money towards her HM Fund b/c of the reasons I stated above, so I bought them gift cards to 2 really nice restaurants in the area.

So, you mean to tell me that there is absolutely NOTHING that you and FI could use in your house? My parents and my in-laws have been married for over 25 years and they are STILL buying things for their house.

Maggie0829 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_register-for-honeymoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:d7d9e87a-0c5c-47b7-b7fb-7a1f322db28dPost:388b6816-87d8-4207-8562-e8923ed98da6">Re: Register for Honeymoon $</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Register for Honeymoon $ : Yes, but they read the HM board too, so there's that. I am not a fan of a HM registry. I don't think it's up to your guests to fund YOUR HM. It's just screams rude & tacky to me. My BF did this and I did not put any money towards her HM Fund b/c of the reasons I stated above, so I bought them gift cards to 2 really nice restaurants in the area. So, you mean to tell me that there is absolutely NOTHING that you and FI could use in your house? My parents and my in-laws have been married for over 25 years and they are STILL buying things for their house.
Posted by OBX2011[/QUOTE]

This.

I had friends who got married and had a HM fund. I did not donate to it but rather gave them a check.

Asking for money is rude. Point. Blank. Period.

I have to agree with OBX, there isn't anything in your house that needs updating?

gal12 · July 2012

I agree. We didnt ask for money on our wedding either. Our family asked where we were registered, and we said: we didnt have one, since we already lived together. So they started word of mouth whenever relatives would ask us where we were registered. about 95% of the guest ended up giving us cash or checks. We used it for our honeymoon and it wasn't tacky at all.

wildchild57 · July 2012

I have a honeymoon registry for my wedding. Everyone who is coming thinks that it is the best idea they have heard. My fiancee and I live together and we have everything we need. Yes there are things that we buy as time goes on, but WE buy them. I am so very picky that I do NOT want anyone picking plates or bowls or even towels out for me. We looked at doing a registry and did not see the point, as anything we would have put on it would have been $200+ it all would have been upgrades with what we already have. I would rather have a honeymoon than stuff, as we could not afford to go on a honeymoon after paying for the wedding. And the memories from the honeymoon will last way longer than the stuff everyone would have bought us.
I can see where some people would think it is tacky, but I think asking for ridiculous expensive household items is such a waste, and not everyone can afford to buy a lot. A honeymoon registry gives then the option of donating $25 if that is all they can afford.

wildchild57 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_register-for-honeymoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:d7d9e87a-0c5c-47b7-b7fb-7a1f322db28dPost:7f1a9be9-19b6-4faa-accc-b0757a6fd16d">Re: Register for Honeymoon $</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Register for Honeymoon $ : It doesn't matter what board we're on; it still isn't a great idea to ask people to fund a vacation for you. First and foremost, HM registries are deceptive. Your guests think they are buying you a romantic dinner, but they aren't. They are giving money to a website that in turn writes you a check, which you can spend however you want. They're not actually booking and reserving a dinner for you at all. They are just giving you money, which they could've done without the third party. Also, this third party often times takes a cut themselves, so instead of $100, you might get $93.
Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]

If someone wants to buy them a romantic dinner then they can call the place that they are going, as they will know the dates and location, and book them a dinner, or excursion or whatever your honeymoon is like. And if they don't like the idea of giving money on the registry then they can just bring money to the wedding in a card.
Times are changing and this is what more and more younger couples are doing, as they live together first. Asking your guests to fund your honeymoon is no different than asking them to buy things for your house, execpt with a honeymoon I don't have to pretend to love what I get, I know I will love it

Summer2011Bride · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_register-for-honeymoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:d7d9e87a-0c5c-47b7-b7fb-7a1f322db28dPost:5f837c7c-f9e3-417a-a6a7-a9c09720058c">Re: Register for Honeymoon $</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Register for Honeymoon $ :<strong> If someone wants to buy them a romantic dinner then they can call the place that they are going, as they will know the dates and location, and book them a dinner, or excursion or whatever your honeymoon is like. </strong>And if they don't like the idea of giving money on the registry then they can just bring money to the wedding in a card. Times are changing and this is what more and more younger couples are doing, as they live together first. Asking your guests to fund your honeymoon is no different than asking them to buy things for your house, execpt with a honeymoon I don't have to pretend to love what I get, I know I will love it
Posted by wildchild57[/QUOTE]

But they can do this without having a HM registry and actually would NOT be able to this through a HM registry. My ILs called up a restaurant in Hawaii and made reservations for us, gave their credit card number to pay for the meal and everything. We didn't have a HM registry. This example does not prove your point at all.

Etiquette is not changing, no matter what the times are. It's rude to ask for money. End of story. No matter how you dress it up. In your previous post, you said you don't want people picking out towels or bowls for you. That is precisely the point of a traditional registry. You register for what you WANT and then people can buy those items.

Also, I find it hard to believe there's not one single item you need for your house that isn't under $200. Are you telling me one single, individual towel is over $200? What about a hand towel or wash cloth?

Besides that, many people DO spend that much on wedding gifts, and also groups of friends or co-workers frequently pitch in for one big gift from the group.

H and I lived together first and had plenty to put on a traditional registry. Also, you saying that people can just give you money in a card does not prove your point that HM registries are awesome; in fact, you're agreeing with me. Buying things through a HM registry IS just giving the couple money; that's my point! So why use a middle man?

Maggie0829 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_register-for-honeymoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:d7d9e87a-0c5c-47b7-b7fb-7a1f322db28dPost:279026e8-fddc-4de4-bd2e-64db8c766ac9">Re: Register for Honeymoon $</a>:
[QUOTE]I have a honeymoon registry for my wedding. Everyone who is coming thinks that it is the best idea they have heard. My fiancee and I live together and we have everything we need. Yes there are things that we buy as time goes on, but WE buy them. I am so very picky that I do NOT want anyone picking plates or bowls or even towels out for me. We looked at doing a registry and did not see the point, as anything we would have put on it would have been $200+ it all would have been upgrades with what we already have. <strong>I would rather have a honeymoon than stuff, as we could not afford to go on a honeymoon after paying for the wedding.</strong> And the memories from the honeymoon will last way longer than the stuff everyone would have bought us. I can see where some people would think it is tacky, but I think asking for ridiculous expensive household items is such a waste, and not everyone can afford to buy a lot. A honeymoon registry gives then the option of donating $25 if that is all they can afford.
Posted by wildchild57[/QUOTE]

So do you already have a HM planned and just hoping that the money your guests give you will be enough to cover the costs or are you waiting until after your wedding to see how much money you received and then planning a HM accordingly?

AdeleDazeem · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_register-for-honeymoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:d7d9e87a-0c5c-47b7-b7fb-7a1f322db28dPost:5f837c7c-f9e3-417a-a6a7-a9c09720058c">Re: Register for Honeymoon $</a>:
[QUOTE]And if they don't like the idea of giving money on the registry then they can just bring money to the wedding in a card.
Posted by wildchild57[/QUOTE]

Are there others ways I can give my hard earned money to you? Please, tell me more ways.

Summer2011Bride · July 2012

Why did you DD? Posters can still figure out your question from the responses. Plus, others who come on this board with your same question can find this thread and others like it helpful and possibly not have to start a new thread for the same question.

mikkiwin8 · July 2012

In my opinion, the original question was not about etiquette. Everyone has different views and ideas for their own wedding which some will agree with and some will not. I am speaking from a neutral standpoint on the issue, I just hate watching people come down on others on these boards. If you go to a wedding where they have a HM registry and you don't agree with it then don't contribute. The posters question wasn't ever asking if we all thought it was appropriate or not. I look at TK Boards as a way to help each other and talk about common wedding/honeymoon topics, not judge.

Summer2011Bride · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_register-for-honeymoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:d7d9e87a-0c5c-47b7-b7fb-7a1f322db28dPost:f33a8bd1-2e33-4311-a66f-1418fab836f3">Re: NO longer need info-delete</a>:
[QUOTE]In my opinion, the original question was not about etiquette. Everyone has different views and ideas for their own wedding which some will agree with and some will not. I am speaking from a neutral standpoint on the issue, I just hate watching people come down on others on these boards. If you go to a wedding where they have a HM registry and you don't agree with it then don't contribute. The posters question wasn't ever asking if we all thought it was appropriate or not. I look at TK Boards as a way to help each other and talk about common wedding/honeymoon topics, not judge.
Posted by mikkiwin8[/QUOTE]

But on these boards we stand by proper etiquette. If a poster is going to do something that is poor etiquette and may offend their nearest and dearest, we are going to let them know. Wouldn't you rather hear something is rude than go through with it? Your friends and family know you and have a vested interest in your feelings, so even though inwardly they may be offended, they more than likely will never let you know that.

If someone came on here and asked how best to bury a body, would you stand by and tell them how they should go about it? Or implore them not to kill someone in the first place? I would hope the latter.

OBX2011 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_register-for-honeymoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:d7d9e87a-0c5c-47b7-b7fb-7a1f322db28dPost:f33a8bd1-2e33-4311-a66f-1418fab836f3">Re: NO longer need info-delete</a>:
[QUOTE]In my opinion, the original question was not about etiquette. Everyone has different views and ideas for their own wedding which some will agree with and some will not. I am speaking from a neutral standpoint on the issue, I just hate watching people come down on others on these boards. If you go to a wedding where they have a HM registry and you don't agree with it then don't contribute. The posters question wasn't ever asking if we all thought it was appropriate or not. I look at TK Boards as a way to help each other and talk about common wedding/honeymoon topics, not judge.
Posted by mikkiwin8[/QUOTE]

So instead of actually adding anything to this post, you decide to scold us instead?

That is the great thing about this site---we can comment and post on anything that we want too. You also can't tell people how to post in general.

Andplusalso, a lot of brides have learned a thing or two from the married ladies on here and have changed their mind on certain things (goldfish centerpieces anyone??) and have thanked us for it later.

OBX2011 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_register-for-honeymoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:d7d9e87a-0c5c-47b7-b7fb-7a1f322db28dPost:279026e8-fddc-4de4-bd2e-64db8c766ac9">Re: Register for Honeymoon $</a>:
[QUOTE]I have a honeymoon registry for my wedding. Everyone who is coming thinks that it is the best idea they have heard. My fiancee and I live together and we have everything we need. Yes there are things that we buy as time goes on, but WE buy them. I am so very picky that I do NOT want anyone picking plates or bowls or even towels out for me. We looked at doing a registry and did not see the point, as anything we would have put on it would have been $200+ it all would have been upgrades with what we already have. I would rather have a honeymoon than stuff, as we could not afford to go on a honeymoon after paying for the wedding. <strong>And the memories from the honeymoon will last way longer than the stuff everyone would have bought us.</strong> I can see where some people would think it is tacky, but I think asking for ridiculous expensive household items is such a waste, and not everyone can afford to buy a lot. A honeymoon registry gives then the option of donating $25 if that is all they can afford.
Posted by wildchild57[/QUOTE]

Sooooo, every single item you would have chosen to be on your registry would've been over $200? I highly doubt it.

I'm sorry, but I am pretty sure that my Grandmothers china proves your bolded statement wrong, seeing as how she passed away when I was 2 years old and the china has been passed down from my mother. And same goes for the rest of the ladies on here that did actually register for china.

A wedding card with a check for $25 also gives them the option to give a gift if that's all they can afford.

HM registries are rude. Period.

dazyabbey · July 2012

I just wish people on here were a little nicer about the way they go about things.

I don't think honeymoon registries are terrible. I think if you do it with tact and consideration it can be done politely and not tacky. I know some people on here think they are the devil but please take into consideration your friends and family. Do not expect people to pay for your entire honeymoon, that is unreasonable and rude, I agree. But kind of like the home things you ask for, you don't ask people to pay for your home, but the things in your home. Same for the honeymoon registry. Ask for things that help. Do not expect to have any help.

Also, 50+ years ago registries were considered tacky and rude by Emily Post. Now they are acceptable as long as you follow Etiquette, Funny how things change.

mikkiwin8 · July 2012

There are plenty of ways to help girls on here without jumping on their back. Explaining to someone how most people would think that's bad etiquette would have been enough. It's just funny to me how someone can talk about etiquette while being rude. It kind of defeats the purpose. Comparing advice about honeymoon registry to advice about burying a dead body makes absolutely no sense. The info about not all of the money going to the couple was helpful and interesting. I'm sure a lot of people didn't know that, myself included. That's the type of information we should be giving others in my opinion.

Summer2011Bride · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_register-for-honeymoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:d7d9e87a-0c5c-47b7-b7fb-7a1f322db28dPost:45d7ba32-8047-4ab2-9ad4-d73da4790657">Re: NO longer need info-delete</a>:
[QUOTE]There are plenty of ways to help girls on here without jumping on their back. Explaining to someone how most people would think that's bad etiquette would have been enough. It's just funny to me how someone can talk about etiquette while being rude. It kind of defeats the purpose. Comparing advice about honeymoon registry to advice about burying a dead body makes absolutely no sense.<strong> The info about not all of the money going to the couple was helpful and interesting. I'm sure a lot of people didn't know that, myself included. That's the type of information we should be giving others in my opinion.</strong>
Posted by mikkiwin8[/QUOTE]

That's precisely the info I gave in my original post. Also, my example was just that--an example to show how ridiculous it is that you think it's OK to just smile and nod politely while posters plan to do rude things. if you can't understand the reasoning behind the example, there isn't much more to say.

Summer2011Bride · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_register-for-honeymoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:d7d9e87a-0c5c-47b7-b7fb-7a1f322db28dPost:f22eb1ce-b05d-4be7-ac13-38a10fe92121">Re: NO longer need info-delete</a>:
[QUOTE]I just wish people on here were a little nicer about the way they go about things. I don't think honeymoon registries are terrible. I think if you do it with tact and consideration it can be done politely and not tacky. I know some people on here think they are the devil but please take into consideration your friends and family. Do not expect people to pay for your entire honeymoon, that is unreasonable and rude, I agree. <strong>But kind of like the home things you ask for, you don't ask people to pay for your home, but the things in your home. Same for the honeymoon registry</strong>. Ask for things that help. Do not expect to have any help. Also, 50+ years ago registries were considered tacky and rude by Emily Post. Now they are acceptable as long as you follow Etiquette, Funny how things change.
Posted by dazyabbey[/QUOTE]

But the issue is the guests are NOT buying you things for your HM. They think they are, but they aren't. That's our point. HM registries are deceitful to your guests. If I go to Target and buy towels off your registry, I am getting you towels.

If I go on your HM registry and click to buy you a ziplining adventure, I am NOT buying you a ziplining adventure. It is not getting booked and paid for. I am giving the HM registry website money. In turn, they cut the B&G a check, usually with a portion taken out for the website themselves. The B&G can then use that money for sex toys for all I know. The point is, you are essentially just giving the B&G money. Why use a middle man? Just write them a check and at least they'll get the whole amount without a portion taken out for a website.

OBX2011 · July 2012

1) This isn't the land of puppies and rainbows. Go to weddingwire if you want that

2) Newbies--we've seen this post a million times over and we get really tired of giving the same advice/opinion/suggestions etc. You'll learn in due time.

3) Had the OP bothered to look, she probably would've found tons of other posts, right beneath this one, that said the same things the rest of us did about a HM being rude and could've saved herself from the comments she received.

4) You can't tell anyone how they should or shouldn't be posting on TK....or on any other site for that matter.

5) I'm having manicotti for dinner tonight

dazyabbey · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_register-for-honeymoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:d7d9e87a-0c5c-47b7-b7fb-7a1f322db28dPost:2b28cede-54d3-4fd0-92d8-d1a47cd37bba">Re: NO longer need info-delete</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: NO longer need info-delete : But the issue is the guests are NOT buying you things for your HM. They think they are, but they aren't. Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE] <div>I think instead of yelling at and ridiculing the person (Not saying you were, but others were) asking the question though people should actual explain that and be honest and knowledgable about it. Say "Honeymoon registries can be deceitful. Sometimes the guests think they are actually buying the item when they are not. That is one reason they can be considered rude and people dislike them. If you would like to use a honeymoon registry against the advice of this forum be sure to educate your guests and make it known that they aren not buying the actual item but contributing towards it" It may be more typing but it comes across much better. </div><div>
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</div>In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_register-for-honeymoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:d7d9e87a-0c5c-47b7-b7fb-7a1f322db28dPost:2b28cede-54d3-4fd0-92d8-d1a47cd37bba">Re: NO longer need info-delete</a>:
<div>[QUOTE]In turn, they cut the B&G a check, usually with a portion taken out for the website themselves. The B&G can then use that money for sex toys for all I know. The point is, you are essentially just giving the B&G money. Why use a middle man? Just write them a check and at least they'll get the whole amount without a portion taken out for a website.
Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]
The B&G could use the money for sex toys. They could also take the towels back to Target and get the money. I would assume that if someone is registering for a specific item they actually want the item. It is up to the guests and the B&G to know each other and trust each other in both situations (honeymoon and traditional registry). I knew a couple that registered for a ton of expensive things at Target and got most of them, then returned most of the items saying she got 'duplicates' and ended up going and buyig a pool table. It was rude and very deceiptful. I think it would just be better to inform the poster that if they register for an item they should use the money for that item. Also tell them that a majority of the websites charge a fee and it could be to both the giver and the receiver. But there are websites out there that do not charge a fee so just throwing them all into one catagory and assuming they all charge ridiculous fees is extremely unfair. Once again, being educational and polite as well as informed is much more successful. Also it is nice to assume that family will give money, but they know their family better then you do. My family on my moms side does not just give cash or checks so all the advice about 'just get a check/cash' does not work. My sister did not register when she got married several years ago and she got ridiculous stuff. I mean like it was crazy some of the stuff she got. </div><div>
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</div><div>In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_register-for-honeymoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:d7d9e87a-0c5c-47b7-b7fb-7a1f322db28dPost:736edc08-a706-4c1e-a76c-6c060d401df4">Re: NO longer need info-delete</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: NO longer need info-delete : Also, my example was just that--an example to show how ridiculous it is that you think it's OK to just smile and nod politely while posters plan to do rude things. if you can't understand the reasoning behind the example, there isn't much more to say.
Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]
</div><div>I would like to point out once again that 50 years ago bridal registries were ridiculously rude. Also just because one person or one group of people think it is rude does not mean that everyone does. Many family and friends love the idea and think it is great. Your post was very condesending and I think it was a bit over the top. Please just be educational and say why you think it is rude and inform them on if they continue to do something that is against what the advice on here is, then to at least do it in a way that will be the least amount of rude as possible in your eyes. </div><div>
</div><div>In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_register-for-honeymoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:d7d9e87a-0c5c-47b7-b7fb-7a1f322db28dPost:4a3df2a8-39c0-4ef8-9a7f-3be794dda419">Re: NO longer need info-delete</a>:
[QUOTE]4) You can't tell anyone how they should or shouldn't be posting on TK....or on any other site for that matter. Posted by OBX2011[/QUOTE]
Agreed. The same thing applies to real life as well, although people are actually held accountable for how they act in person, unlike a completely annonymous person on the internet. Being rude though is just ridiculous when there are other ways you can go about it. (I am not saying you were rude, but many on here were)<div>
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</div><div><strong>Also even though I have posted this before and it is 4 years old, I think that Emily Post knows much more about Etiquette and what is considered 'rude' than many of the people on this forum. And they have publicly accepted that it is okay. Just like they did with traditional registries about 35 years ago: </strong></div><div><strong><a href="http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121020123458375115.html" rel="nofollow">http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121020123458375115.html</a> </strong></div><div>
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mikkiwin8 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_register-for-honeymoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:d7d9e87a-0c5c-47b7-b7fb-7a1f322db28dPost:4a3df2a8-39c0-4ef8-9a7f-3be794dda419">Re: NO longer need info-delete</a>:
[QUOTE]1) This isn't the land of puppies and rainbows. Go to weddingwire if you want that 2) Newbies--we've seen this post a million times over and we get really tired of giving the same advice/opinion/suggestions etc. You'll learn in due time. 3) Had the OP bothered to look, she probably would've found tons of other posts, right beneath this one, that said the same things the rest of us did about a HM being rude and could've saved herself from the comments she received. 4) You can't tell anyone how they should or shouldn't be posting on TK....or on any other site for that matter. 5) I'm having manicotti for dinner tonight ;)
Posted by OBX2011[/QUOTE]

I didn't know you had to live in the land of "puppies and rainbows" to know how to have a general respect towards others.

Also, if you get annoyed by hearing the same questions from "newbies" then why are you still on here?

HobokensFury · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_register-for-honeymoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:d7d9e87a-0c5c-47b7-b7fb-7a1f322db28dPost:228efe69-5964-421f-82d8-c5cd01d30318">Re: NO longer need info-delete</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: NO longer need info-delete : I didn't know you had to live in the land of "puppies and rainbows" to know how to have a general respect towards others<strong>. Also, if you get annoyed by hearing the same questions from "newbies" then why are you still on here?</strong>
Posted by mikkiwin8[/QUOTE]

MGs stay around to be helpful, we would just appreciate doing a simple search before asking a question. The HM registry question gets asked every single day, sometimes more than once. Also if all the MGs left it would be the blind leading the blind. If you had a question about childbirth would you rather ask a mother who has been through it or a woman without children? Same thing applies to weddings.

Summer2011Bride · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_register-for-honeymoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:d7d9e87a-0c5c-47b7-b7fb-7a1f322db28dPost:9d0e5c2b-a8c4-44a6-ad73-33daef43f21e">Re: NO longer need info-delete</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: NO longer need info-delete : <strong>I think instead of yelling at and ridiculing the person (Not saying you were, but others were) asking the question though people should actual explain that and be honest and knowledgable about it. S</strong>ay "Honeymoon registries can be deceitful. Sometimes the guests think they are actually buying the item when they are not. That is one reason they can be considered rude and people dislike them. If you would like to use a honeymoon registry against the advice of this forum be sure to educate your guests and make it known that they aren not buying the actual item but contributing towards it" It may be more typing but it comes across much better. In Response to Re: NO longer need info-delete : The B&G could use the money for sex toys.<strong> They could also take the towels back to Target </strong>and get the money. I would assume that if someone is registering for a specific item they actually want the item. It is up to the guests and the B&G to know each other and trust each other in both situations (honeymoon and traditional registry). I knew a couple that registered for a ton of expensive things at Target and got most of them, then returned most of the items saying she got 'duplicates' and ended up going and buyig a pool table. It was rude and very deceiptful. I think it would just be better to inform the poster that if they register for an item they should use the money for that item. Also tell them that a majority of the websites charge a fee and it could be to both the giver and the receiver. But there are websites out there that do not charge a fee so just throwing them all into one catagory and assuming they all charge ridiculous fees is extremely unfair. Once again, being educational and polite as well as informed is much more successful. Also it is nice to assume that family will give money, but they know their family better then you do. <strong>My family on my moms side does not just give cash or checks so all the advice about 'just get a check/cash' does not work.</strong> My sister did not register when she got married several years ago and she got ridiculous stuff. I mean like it was crazy some of the stuff she got. In Response to Re: NO longer need info-delete : I would like to point out once again that 50 years ago bridal registries were ridiculously rude. A<strong>lso just because one person or one group of people think it is rude does not mean that everyone does. Many family and friends love the idea and think it is great</strong>. Your post was very condesending and I think it was a bit over the top. Please just be educational and say why you think it is rude and inform them on if they continue to do something that is against what the advice on here is, then to at least do it in a way that will be the least amount of rude as possible in your eyes. In Response to Re: NO longer need info-delete : Agreed. The same thing applies to real life as well, although people are actually held accountable for how they act in person, unlike a completely annonymous person on the internet. Being rude though is just ridiculous when there are other ways you can go about it. (I am not saying you were rude, but many on here were) Also even though I have posted this before and it is 4 years old, I think that Emily Post knows much more about Etiquette and what is considered 'rude' than many of the people on this forum. And they have publicly accepted that it is okay. Just like they did with traditional registries about 35 years ago: <a rel="nofollow" href="http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121020123458375115.html">http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121020123458375115.html</a>
Posted by dazyabbey[/QUOTE]

1) I did type almost exactly what you wrote out in my very first post in this thread. But apparently it needed repeating because people weren't getting it. Also, we can post however we want and lecturing us like you are never goes over well. If you don't like it, you absolutely don't have to read it.

2) Yes they could return the towels, but that was never my point, which is why I still don't think you get what I was saying. My point is that you GAVE them towels to begin with, the actual item they registered for. On HM registries, you are not actually giving them a dinner or ziplining or anything.

3) Please read what I wrote. I never say people WILL or HAVE TO give you cash. But if they want to, there is absolutely no reason to make them go through a third party site (i.e. HM registry site) to give it to you. They can put it in a card and it is much easier. Also, I never said to not do a traditional registry. I don't get your point about how someone who didn't register got outrageous stuff. OK? That has nothing to do with a HM registry.

4) Your loved ones value your feelings and care for you. Most of the time, they will not tell you to your face when they think something is rude or tacky. I find dollar dances horrendously tacky. Most of my friends did them. Did I tell them I hated it? Nope. That would have hurt their feelings. Just because your friends/family don't admit to your face they don't like HM registries does not mean they find them rude. They will not always be truthful because they want to spare your feelings. And even if they think they like them, many people do not know that they are deceitful and you are not actually receiving the service/gift they purchased. So if you're going through with it, you at least need to be up front with your guests. The cool thing about these anonymous people on the Internet, as you call us, is that they will be honest with you about things that your friends and family won't be.

Again, we can post how we want. People were blunt and honest but not rude. No one attacked you or called you names. If you get your feelings hurt over this thread, TK may not be for you overall.

themrsJRD · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_register-for-honeymoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:d7d9e87a-0c5c-47b7-b7fb-7a1f322db28dPost:bdb58261-d15b-4478-889e-d234135d72f1">Re: NO longer need info-delete</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: NO longer need info-delete : 4) Your loved ones value your feelings and care for you. Most of the time, they will not tell you to your face when they think something is rude or tacky. I find dollar dances horrendously tacky. Most of my friends did them. Did I tell them I hated it? Nope. That would have hurt their feelings. Just because your friends/family don't admit to your face they don't like HM registries does not mean they find them rude. They will not always be truthful because they want to spare your feelings. And even if they think they like them, many people do not know that they are deceitful and you are not actually receiving the service/gift they purchased. So if you're going through with it, you at least need to be up front with your guests. The cool thing about these anonymous people on the Internet, as you call us, is that they will be honest with you about things that your friends and family won't be. Again, we can post how we want. People were blunt and honest but not rude. No one attacked you or called you names. If you get your feelings hurt over this thread, TK may not be for you overall.
Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>This thread is so amusing, but this post in particular gets me rolling. No one knows MY guests (friends & family) better than me, same for you & any other bride. It's fine if that is how your guests would think of a honeymoon registry/money dance/money box/money tree/whatever, you know them better than me. Not everyone's guest list will be that way & it is wrong for you to assume that!!!! I can tell you right now my family would not care if I did any or all of the above!! Dollar dances are more of a wedding tradition where I am from, so if they are unheard of where you are from then that's fine, but you shouldn't judge. The wedding mentality around here is that the couple is spending money to throw a party to start their life off together & you are helping them get off on the right foot so they can make a home together (whether they already live together or not is immaterial). Wedding traditions vary greatly depending on many factors, like area, age, history, ethnicity... When it comes down to it, it's really only my close family/friends' opinion I care about, so maybe you should stop feeling so self-important here because it sounds like YOU'RE the one who is being judgmental at other peoples' weddings, even people you "care about." My family would not hold back their opinions for the sake of my feelings, as you said (this is MY family I'm talking about, not everyone's), because usually when you truly care about someone you do the opposite- you tell them how you feel. My family won't judge me on something as silly as my wedding decisions, either. So it gives you no right to do so!! Don't overgeneralize on an online forum where you have NO IDEA where someone comes from, what their family is like, what their traditions are, etc. Like I said- you know your group & that is fine & dandy. It is just not right for you to judge based off only your experience & nothing else.</div><div>
</div><div>And for the record, I had a destination wedding & did not register for anything or expect gifts at all... the pleasure of my family's company was enough for me. I could care less whether other people have registries- I give cash at weddings/showers/birthdays as a rule because it is the most useful all around.</div><div>
</div><div>I'll not be coming back to this thread because I like to hang around only one thread where people are fun & not-judgmental- someone posted this link on there as an example of how rude people can be when they are trying to "coach" others on etiquette. We all got a good laugh! Y'all have a great week!

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Summer2011Bride · July 2012

Asking for money (which is what a HM registry is masquerading as) is never OK. It's just not. I don't care who your family and friends are. It's still rude. Same goes for the money tree/box/whatever stuff you also mentioned. Yuck. If you feel the need to defend them so strongly, methinks it's because there is something wrong with them to begin with.

Let me guess--the board where it was linked was a month board or local board where people just validate others' bad ideas? OK then. You have a good time on your fun boards.

ETA: Yup it was the Vegas board. A previous poster who didn't get her way here went over and stomped her foot on her local board. Just an FYI for the poster who did that and MrsJRD: that never goes over well. Either people defend themselves in this thread or they just need to leave. Running to your "friends" on another board to complain about the "meanies" on a different board makes one look incredibly immature and childish. No one's going to take you seriously now.

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