I was in my "best friend"/sorority sisters wedding as the MOH almost 3 years ago - since then she has moved 45 minutes away and has not made a trip to visit me one single time. When I got engaged almost 2 weeks ago she was in the hospital with pancreatitis which I knew so I texted her a picture of my ring with a message and she texted back she would call as soon as she could and wanted all the details.
After I saw that she was home I texted her to see how she was feeling and we chatted for about 10 minutes or so about all of that and then the conversation was over. We haven't talked much over the past 3 years other than me coming to visit her a few times a year (she's been working, I've been in school) but I figured maybe once I got engaged we would become close again because I had always pictured her as being my MOH and heavily involved.
She has liked all of the stuff I've posted on Facebook about our engagement (just pictures that were posted and the like) but has not asked me a single question about it - I don't want to sound selfish but I would at least expect someone who is supposed to be a good friend to ask at least when we were thinking about having it or some sort of detail about it by this point.
I've already asked my best friend from grade school to be my MOH and another sorority sister that I've talked to on a daily basis for the past 4 years to be my matron of honor because I know they will be there for me every step of the way. Should I feel this bad about not having my former best friend in my bridal party? I still plan on inviting her and her husband but we just aren't very close and if she hasn't been able to make a 45 minute drive to see me in the past 3 years how can I expect her to do it at any point for anything wedding related? Is this considered rude?