She's pregnant again... VENT

QueerFemme · May 2013

In Response to Re:She's pregnant again... VENT:[QUOTE]In Response to Re: She's pregnant again... VENT:For everyone just assuming BC failed or she didn't use it properly, how do you know she didn't WANT to get pregnant again?nbsp; Of course that's probably not the best course of action for a 19 year old with a child, but that doesn't mean it's not the case.nbsp; Maybe she was actively trying.nbsp; No amount of Sex Ed will prevent someone who wants to have kids from doing so.Posted by LingerLonger1Too true. I know a girl who had her first kid at 15 or 16. She kept going and is now 23 engaged to the father of her 3 children, ages 7, 4, and 1 at least they're all with the same guy, right?But, again, all I can say is Oyvey! Posted by sydaries[/QUOTE] What difference does it make that they are all with the same guy? Is it because it was only one penis? Does that make her less trashy and dirty in your eyes? I don't understand the totally misogynistic attitudes on this thread.

QueerFemme · May 2013

In Response to Re:She's pregnant again... VENT:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:She's pregnant again... VENT : It means she's not a hooor

Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]

Exactly !!! I'm 43. I've had a LOT of sex, with a lot of different people... people of different genders. But, because I didn't have a KID with any of those, someone, I'm not a hoooor.

People !! Having a baby, even having a baby very YOUNG, or having multiple babies with different daddies doesn't make you a hoooor or make you used and dried up. to imply that it does is totally sexist. We don't act like if a man uses his penis on more than one woman he is a hoooor.

QueerFemme · May 2013

In Response to Re:She's pregnant again... VENT:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:She's pregnant again... VENT : Hey you're not a hooor so why do you care? No I agree. That rubbed me the wrong way too.
Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]

LOL. I would only be a hooor if I charged money for givin up the bootie.

QueerFemme · May 2013

In Response to Re: She's pregnant again... VENT:
[QUOTE]I am not, nor have I ever been a hoar. Hoars charge money. I was, however, quite the slut for about a year and a half. It's a large part of why H married me.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

My hoooring days are a large part of why my partner married me too. I appreciate my slut days.

lyndausvi · May 2013

In Response to Re:She's pregnant again... VENT:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:She's pregnant again... VENT : Hey you're not a hooor so why do you care?

No I agree. That rubbed me the wrong way too.
Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]

ha.

I actually did judge my male co-worker for having 4 kids with 3 moms. Not in the whore sense, but why have all that drama? Geez. One mom is MIA, so P has custody of that son. But the other 2 moms are filled with drama it hurts my head and I'm an outsider. P is a great dad. Provides for his kids and such, but even he admits he could do without the headache of coordinating with the moms.

s-aries8990 · May 2013

In Response to Re:She's pregnant again... VENT:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:She's pregnant again... VENT: What difference does it make that they are all with the same guy? Is it because it was only one penis? Does that make her less trashy and dirty in your eyes? I don't understand the totally misogynistic attitudes on this thread.
Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]

It's not about the number of penises, it's about a commitment to each other- they were on-purpose babies, not oopsies babies - and he's stuck around like he should.

QueerFemme · May 2013

In Response to Re:She's pregnant again... VENT:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:She's pregnant again... VENT : It's not about the number of penises, it's about a commitment to each other- they were on-purpose babies, not oopsies babies - and he's stuck around like he should.
Posted by sydaries[/QUOTE]

And again, why does it matter if they were ooopsie or on purpose babies. They are still babies, and the committment to each other is really irrelevant as long as someone is caring for those children.

s-aries8990 · May 2013

In Response to Re:She's pregnant again... VENT:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:She's pregnant again... VENT : I still don't understand the "at least..." part in your post. Why does this matter in the last? Why do you care if they're all with one man or all products of different men? How does that affect you at all, or make it any less judge-worthy that babies are having babies? "Well at least this baby had a long term commitment before creating that baby!"?
Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]

TBH, I don't know where the "at least" part came from. It was stupid of me to put it in there. I'm sorry for offending anyone.

None of it affects me in the slightest. That is true. BUT, the fact that they have a commitment makes a huge difference on how I, an outsider, see the situation. The fact that they are working together to raise their kids is a really positive thing. I have seen girls end up pregnant young and the dude takes off. The fact that this ISN'T that type of situation is what has stuck with me. What happened before any of the kids were born is neither here nor their, the fact that they are STILL working together as full-time parents ( not the "gramma takes care of the baby and I just play with it" that I have seen) is really commendable.

In Response to Re:She's pregnant again... VENT:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:She's pregnant again... VENT : And again, why does it matter if they were ooopsie or on purpose babies. They are still babies, and the committment to each other is really irrelevant as long as someone is caring for those children.
Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]

I have to argue that their commitment to each other, especially going through pregnancies at such a young age, is relevant. It definitely isn't relevant to me personally, but it's such a different situation than I'm used to seeing. It is important that someone is caring for the kids, but the fact that the parents are the ones who are working together to provide a stable life for their children is something I don't really see from teens who have kids together.

I'm sorry if the "at least" part of the comment offended you. I don't know why I put it in there. It was stupid.

s-aries8990 · May 2013

In Response to Re:She's pregnant again... VENT:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:She's pregnant again... VENT : TBH, I don't know where the "at least" part came from. It was stupid of me to put it in there. I'm sorry for offending anyone. None of it affects me in the slightest. That is true. BUT, the fact that they have a commitment makes a huge difference on how I, an outsider, see the situation. The fact that they are working together to raise their kids is a really positive thing. I have seen girls end up pregnant young and the dude takes off. The fact that this ISN'T that type of situation is what has stuck with me. What happened before any of the kids were born is neither here nor their, the fact that they are STILL working together as full-time parents ( not the "gramma takes care of the baby and I just play with it" that I have seen) is really commendable. In Response to Re:She's pregnant again... VENT : I have to argue that their commitment to each other, especially going through pregnancies at such a young age, is relevant. It definitely isn't relevant to me personally, but it's such a different situation than I'm used to seeing. It is important that someone is caring for the kids, but the fact that the parents are the ones who are working together to provide a stable life for their children is something I don't really see from teens who have kids together. I'm sorry if the "at least" part of the comment offended you. I don't know why I put it in there. It was stupid.
Posted by sydaries[/QUOTE]

And even if they weren't engaged, or even dating, the fact that they are still working as a team of some sort is what is really important. The stability of a good relationship between parents is just a plus.

QueerFemme · May 2013

In Response to Re:She's pregnant again... VENT:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:She's pregnant again... VENT : And even if they weren't engaged, or even dating, the fact that they are still working as a team of some sort is what is really important. The stability of a good relationship between parents is just a plus.
Posted by sydaries[/QUOTE]

I agree with this. But, if the kids were by three different fathers, the mom could easily have a good parenting relationship with all three of them.

I just think it's really important to call out sexist language when I see it. This thread was full of it, certainly not just your "at least" comment.

s-aries8990 · May 2013

In Response to Re:She's pregnant again... VENT:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:She's pregnant again... VENT : I agree with this. But, if the kids were by three different fathers, the mom could easily have a good parenting relationship with all three of them. I just think it's really important to call out sexist language when I see it. This thread was full of it, certainly not just your "at least" comment.
Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]

Phew. I've been eating my feet lately and I really don't like the taste of my thighs - too chewy

And you make a good point about the fathers thing. Unfortunately I haven't seen it before and the thought never crossed my mind - Overwhelmingly, the situations that I know of include an abusive or completely deadbeat father figure.

ETA: I am still amazed and dumbfounded when divorced parents have an amicable relationship and attend the same events. I can't even fathom how that works lol

QueerFemme · May 2013

In Response to Re:She's pregnant again... VENT:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:She's pregnant again... VENT : Phew. I've been eating my feet lately and I really don't like the taste of my thighs - too chewy

And you make a good point about the fathers thing. Unfortunately I haven't seen it before and the thought never crossed my mind - Overwhelmingly, the situations that I know of include an abusive or completely deadbeat father figure. ETA: I am still amazed and dumbfounded when divorced parents have an amicable relationship and attend the same events. I can't even fathom how that works lol
Posted by sydaries[/QUOTE]

The thing is, this is a big conversation. We do have to hold fathers more accountable for their children. But, one of the best ways to do that is to stop using sexist language that puts the responsibility of birth control and parenting on women. Like the OP and quite a few posts after that did.

We also have to teach women that they are allowed to control their own bodies, and can say no when they want to. And, they can say YES when they want to, and saying yes doesn't make them a whore or a slut or used up, or anything like that. Low self esteem is one of the biggest issues with young girls. If we treated our young girls with even half as much respect and encouragement as we do young men in our society, this wouldn't be as big of an issue.

wittykitty14 · May 2013

In Response to Re:She's pregnant again... VENT:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:She's pregnant again... We also have to teach women that they are allowed to control their own bodies, and can say no when they want to. And, they can say YES when they want to, and saying yes doesn't make them a whore or a slut or used up, or anything like that. Low self esteem is one of the biggest issues with young girls. If we treated our young girls with even half as much respect and encouragement as we do young men in our society, this wouldn't be as big of an issue.
Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]

WELL SAID. And Linger, the gifs sum up my thoughts quite nicely!

Peledreamsofrain · May 2013

Post removed due to GBCK

Peledreamsofrain · May 2013

Post removed due to GBCK

ridedatbike · May 2013

In Response to Re:She's pregnant again... VENT:[QUOTE]The girl's already pregnant. Do we really need to figure out who's to "blame?"nbsp;How about instead figuring out how she can get the support she needs, how she can continue her education, or ensuring she has healthcare access?nbsp;ETA: And now that we're discussing birth control methods... IUDs all the way. Posted by MoonlightSilver[/QUOTE] teen mom here. take all of your anger and what not out here and leave it at that. maybe she messed up but what it comes down to is what is best for the innocent baby. all of the judging and negativity will effect the baby. also iuds are the best form.of birth control for.moms anything else hormonal will effect their milk production.

She's pregnant again... VENT

Re: She's pregnant again... VENT

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