Is this a new thing?

soontobehanby · May 2013

I got a shower invite and inside was a piece of paper that said "Living Room" on it. Apparently I am only supposed to buy the couple somehting off their regristry for their living room. I find it odd.... I looked at the registry and they don't have a lot of "living room" things, but what they do have is exspensive. My mom makes vinyl wall decals, I am half tempted to have her make me a personalized one and call it a day. I just find this weird...

TKzilla · May 2013

Gift them with a diarama of their own living room.

efmcc67 · May 2013

You'd really think a registry would be enough guidance, wouldn't you? This just seems presumptuous.

kerbohl · May 2013

I think the trick here is to find something that could be used in any room regardless . . . a wall decal fits that perfectly, because that could be kitchen, living room, or bedroom. I say good thinking! But it sucks to be limited in what to buy. People should be allowed to buy what they want, in reason.

wittykitty14 · May 2013

I've heard of this type of thing before, but never had to witness it.

It's one thing to have a registry for your guests to choose from, but it's rude to try and dictate what people buy from it. It's really tacky, at best. I'm curious to know why they did it this way.

If it was me, what I would do depends on how close I am with the person. If I was a good friend/relative of the bride, I'd still go and bring whatever I wanted to off their registry. If I didn't know them well, I'd probably decline and send a gift card. Unless I know the couple REALLY well, I always stick to the registry if I'm giving a gift.

aRachel21 · May 2013

In Response to Re:Is this a new thing?:
[QUOTE]Yes, this is an odd request, but do you think your friend will WANT a vinyl wall hanging? Do you think it will be something she will actually HANG in the living room? If not, just decline the invite. I hate themed gift events as much as anyone, but she may not have had any say, and punishing her with an off registry gift sucks, to be honest. I'm sure your mother's wall hangings are lovely, but I can tell you without seeing one that we wouldn't hang it because it's not our taste and we're very picky about decor. If you truly want to attend and cannot afford any of the living room stuff, buy something else off her registry for another room or do something very small off registry, like a candle holder, and add a gift card to where she is registered.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

I was going to say the exact same thing. We are picky about decor, and I would never hang a wall decal. I would just get something off of their registry, and not give in to the 'theme'.

Maggie0829 · May 2013

Step 1 - throw the little slip that reads "living room" in the trash

Step 2 - buy the bride whatever the heck you want

Step 3 - when the host confronts you that you didn't get the right gift to coordinate with your slip of papersy "oh well" and walk away.

ETA: This is not a "thing". It is a completely dumb and tacky idea the host has come up with to most likely play a dumb and tacky game during the shower.

rel1988 · May 2013

Never heard of this "theme" either. I agree with PP's theme's are cute if you are talking about color/decorations, not dictating what gifts to give. Personally I love the bring a receipe showers.

I would not feel obligated to bring a living room gift only. Give the couple what you want to give them. I love the wall vinyls personally, but not everyone does. If your friend does, then awesome get her that. BTW you could also think about putting on wall vinyl on something--glass frame, wood board, etc. That way they could incorporate in into their house without having to put it directly on their wall. Some people just don't like that.

kmmssg · May 2013

I would just something on the registry even if it isn't for the living room. Not everyone wants wall decals. I wouldn' take that chance just because the host had a bad idea.

lisabeats · May 2013

I have seen this as "around the house" just like "around the clock" showers. Personally, I agree that it's rude/tacky to dictate what is supposed to be given, and I believe I accepted the invite but just gave the gift I had already planned on giving. I don't think the bride would say anything, and if the host does, oh well because she was rude in the first place. Also, I remember the host from this shower having no memory of whom was assigned which room by the day of the shower, so she wouldn't have been able to say "Hey! You brought a $300 blender when I asked you to bring something cheap and plastic for the bathroom" had that been the case.

annmarie714 · May 2013

That's not a theme. A theme is colors/characters/flowers, etc. That is a demand. A tacky on at that.

TBH, I'd be tempted to buy a gift for any room other than the living room out of spite.

buddysmom80 · May 2013

I've never had a shower invite with a specific room. IMO it's tacky to dictate what to bring to a party as a gift.

I think the exception to the rule would be the two examples that I've encountered recently. The first was a bridal shower where you had to bring a kitchen gadget unwrapped and the bride had to figure out who brought it. That was actually kind of fun. I bought one of those gadgets that chops onions because she knows I love red onions but hate chopping them. But in addition to that I also got something off her registry (I think a crockpot?)

The other example was for a baby shower, the hostess asked to bring a favorite childhood book for the baby. I'm a book fanatic so I loved this idea. The guest of honor's father built a beautiful bookcase and you dropped off the book there and brought a gift as well for the baby.

brielleinlove · May 2013

In Response to Re: Is this a new thing?:
[QUOTE]I've never had a shower invite with a specific room. IMO it's tacky to dictate what to bring to a party as a gift. I think the exception to the rule would be the two examples that I've encountered recently. The first was a bridal shower where you had to bring a kitchen gadget unwrapped and the bride had to figure out who brought it. That was actually kind of fun. I bought one of those gadgets that chops onions because she knows I love red onions but hate chopping them. But in addition to that I also got something off her registry (I think a crockpot?) The other example was for a baby shower, the hostess asked to bring a favorite childhood book for the baby. I'm a book fanatic so I loved this idea. The guest of honor's father built a beautiful bookcase and you dropped off the book there and brought a gift as well for the baby.
Posted by buddysmom80[/QUOTE]

Lord, do I hate these kinds of baby showers... and I'm a fellow book fanatic (a librarian, in fact). I already spent a ton of money on a present for the kid, I'm not going to "honor your request that won't be too hard, please bring a book instead of a card!". I have a stash of cards I've found at yard sales for pennies, and you're expecting me to go to Barnes & Noble and shell out at least $5 for a book? And that's not even for a nice board book or a children's classic. Any time I've gotten a baby shower invite like that, I pointedly bring a book... and only a book.

I hate every iteration of a "tell the guest what to bring" shower.

Ella and Pedro · May 2013

Living Room?

How about giving them a plug-in Glade air freshner for their living room?

Seriously....

buy what you want off their registry, or gift card, or cash them. Do not do wall decals. Likely, they will not use or want it. If they did, they would have registered for decals, yes?

AJuliaNJ · May 2013

You can get creative with it. Almost anything could technically be used in a living room, e.g., "I bought you this plate for when you eat on the living room couch" or "This blanket will be great when you are sick and want to watch TV on the couch all day."

Yes, I'm being snarky. My real answer is to just buy whatever you want from the registry.

buddysmom80 · May 2013

In Response to Re: Is this a new thing?:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is this a new thing? : Books are one of my go-to baby shower gifts anyway, so if I get an invite like this, they get a book or book set and no other gift. I hate this new trend of dictating gifts or adding on things like books/diapers/booze/"something small for the big day"/etc.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

Your post reminded me of some TV show on MTV (Teen Mom?) that they had a diaper party. They couldn't afford diapers for their infant so the dad threw a diaper party at a pizza shop and everyone had to bring a pack of diapers. I was floored. I also would've been the bltch that brought cloth diapers too lol.

MayberryAfterMidnight · May 2013

A very formative memory for me was when my parents and I went to the wedding of the sister of my childhood best friend. I was 8 so my memory could be foggy, but I could have sworn they dictated this sort of thing for the WEDDING (so not just a shower). So already they've decimated etiquette. But what was distinct about the request was that they asked for a gift for a certain day/time. I think we got "Saturday at 10am" and I'm pretty sure my parents bought a toaster. My parents thought it was a 'neat' idea. (Nice as they are, I've discovered in the course of planning my own wedding that they are absolutely clueless about etiquette.) Even as a kid, I remember thinking, what's really the difference between Saturday at 10 am and Saturday at 11am? I have a feeling that couple got a ton of toasters...

Is this a new thing?

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