Complicated Invitation Wording

shawnamariee · May 2013

Help!! I have no idea where to start with this one! My fiance and I are paying for our wedding, with some help from my mom. But we would also like to include our son on the invite. Does anyone have any ideas on how to do this?

brielleinlove · May 2013

Invitations are supposed to indicate who is hosting and who the guests of honor are. Since your son is neither the host nor the groom, I don't think it is necessary or appropriate to have his name on the invite.

nycrose2013 · May 2013

Why would your son be on your wedding invitation? I am sure he is a central feature of your life; let this one be just about you and your husband

HisGirlFriday13 · May 2013

Ditto. Unless your son is "hosting" -- and I use that word in the sense of either paying for or planning to greet all the guests, as a host would do -- his name doesn't go on the invite.

However, if you are sold on this idea, I'd word it like this:

Together with their son, Joey Smith,

Jane Marie Jones

and

James Joseph Jones

request the pleasure of your company (unless it's a church ceremony in a church, in which case you say, 'request the honour of your presence') at their marriage

etc.

s-aries8990 · May 2013

How old is your son? Is like like 2? or 32? We get brides of all ages here.

I ask because unless your son is of a certain age where he is actually "requesting the pleasure of the guests company," it's inappropriate.

I'd just have your son walk (with you down the aisle , do a reading, or give a toast (if any of those are acceptable for his age).

Your son is a main figure in your life, but he shouldn't be involved in the wedding ceremony - please don't make him say any vows or say vows about him.

Jen4948 · May 2013

Leave your son off the invitation-especially if he is a minor. Also leave him out of the vow exchange. Your wedding is about you and your FI-not your son.

If he's old enough, he can walk with you down the aisle or act as a groomsman, usher, or reader, but leave his involvement at that.

shawnamariee · May 2013

So I asked for suggestions on the best wording because this is something we want to include in our wedding, not to be told what is appropriate. Thank you all anyway, I will figure it out. In Response to Complicated Invitation Wording:
[QUOTE]Help!! I have no idea where to start with this one! My fiance and I are paying for our wedding, with some help from my mom. But we would also like to include our son on the invite. Does anyone have any ideas on how to do this?
Posted by shawnamariee[/QUOTE]

Jen4948 · May 2013

In Response to Re: Complicated Invitation Wording:
[QUOTE]So I asked for suggestions on the best wording because this is something we want to include in our wedding, not to be told what is appropriate. Thank you all anyway, I will figure it out. In Response to Complicated Invitation Wording :
Posted by shawnamariee[/QUOTE]

Sorry, but when you post in a forum here, you're going to get opinions, and if something is not appropriate, we're going to tell you so, not how to do it. You don't get to tell us how to answer you-that's up to us.

HisGirlFriday13 · May 2013

In Response to Re: Complicated Invitation Wording:
[QUOTE]So I asked for suggestions on the best wording because this is something we want to include in our wedding, not to be told what is appropriate. Thank you all anyway, I will figure it out. In Response to Complicated Invitation Wording :
Posted by shawnamariee[/QUOTE]

And if you read closely, I gave you advice on how to word your invitation. Don't get mad because you didn't like the answers you got to the overall question.

s-aries8990 · May 2013

In Response to Re: Complicated Invitation Wording:
[QUOTE]So I asked for suggestions on the best wording because this is something we want to include in our wedding, not to be told what is appropriate. Thank you all anyway, I will figure it out. In Response to Complicated Invitation Wording :
Posted by shawnamariee[/QUOTE]

I'm sorry you feel that way, but this is an etiquette forum and whatyou would like to do is not proper etiquette.

Maybe the STD or invite can include an image of your son with a sign saying "My mom and dad are getting married!" This way you aren't putting your son in an awkward position and you're still including him.

QueerFemme · May 2013

In Response to Re: Complicated Invitation Wording:
[QUOTE]So I asked for suggestions on the best wording because this is something we want to include in our wedding, not to be told what is appropriate. Thank you all anyway, I will figure it out. In Response to Complicated Invitation Wording :
Posted by shawnamariee[/QUOTE]

You posted this in an etiquette board. The "hosts" and the bride & groom are the only appropriate names that should be on the invitation. Unless your son is 40 and is paying for your wedding, he isn't a host. So, he doesn't belong there.

We aren't going to give you advice on how you can commit an etiquette blunder.

Put your son on the program, leave him off the invitation.

shawnamariee · May 2013

I did see that, and thank you. In Response to Re: Complicated Invitation Wording:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Complicated Invitation Wording : And if you read closely, I gave you advice on how to word your invitation. Don't get mad because you didn't like the answers you got to the overall question.
Posted by lemclane[/QUOTE]

daria24 · May 2013

I don't understand where people got the idea that invitations served to "honor" certain people. An invitation serves a specific function: to provide the who/what/where/when and why of an event. Not make sure your toddler's name is thrown in there for good measure.

Jen4948 · May 2013

In Response to Re: Complicated Invitation Wording:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Complicated Invitation Wording : I'm sorry you feel that way, but this is an etiquette forum and whatyou would like to do is not proper etiquette. Maybe the STD or invite can include an image of your son with a sign saying "My mom and dad are getting married!" This way you aren't putting your son in an awkward position and you're still including him.
Posted by sydaries[/QUOTE]

That would still put the son in the awkward position of being used as a photo prop-possibly against his own wishes. No signs.

s-aries8990 · May 2013

In Response to Re: Complicated Invitation Wording:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Complicated Invitation Wording : That would still put the son in the awkward position of being used as a photo prop-possibly against his own wishes. No signs.
Posted by Jen4948[/QUOTE]

True, but I think it's less offensive than having him be a host of a wedding. If he didn't want to do it the pictures would probably turn out terribly anyway and they wouldn't even get used.

Jen4948 · May 2013

In Response to Re: Complicated Invitation Wording:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Complicated Invitation Wording : True, but I think it's less offensive than having him be a host of a wedding. If he didn't want to do it the pictures would probably turn out terribly anyway and they wouldn't even get used.
Posted by sydaries[/QUOTE]

It would be cruel to put him through that if he didn't want to do it. That would actually be more offensive.

s-aries8990 · May 2013

In Response to Re: Complicated Invitation Wording:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Complicated Invitation Wording : It would be cruel to put him through that if he didn't want to do it. That would actually be more offensive.
Posted by Jen4948[/QUOTE]

I agree. But, if she's so intent on including him, nothing we can do will stop her.

wrigleyville · May 2013

OP, you can do whatever you want, but I would roll my eyes hardcore if I received a wedding invitation with someone's son listed (unless he was an adult and truly hosting the wedding).

Since the other posters have also said it's inappropriate, perhaps you should take our advice into consideration.

I know you're a proud mother and want to include your son in your wedding, but the best way to do that would be to let him be a ring-bearer or usher, depending on his age. If he's older, he could walk you down the aisle. Regardless of his age, he'll still be in most of the pictures, and everyone will know he's a big part of your life because he's your SON. Do you really want your family and friends to side-eye you when they get an invitation from a child? Think about this one... for real...

Jen4948 · May 2013

In Response to Re: Complicated Invitation Wording:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Complicated Invitation Wording : I agree. But, if she's so intent on including him, nothing we can do will stop her.
Posted by sydaries[/QUOTE]

True. No matter how hard eyes roll.

Kate61487 · May 2013

I received an invitation about 3 years ago:

Mr (1 year old kid)
request the honor of your presence at the marriage of his mommy and daddy
Miss Bride
and
Mr Groom

I rolled my eyes hard. Clearly the kid isn't old enough to actually be hosting; or even to understand that his parents were getting married. Seriously, OP, just skip it. You might have a few guests who think "oh how cute" but you will undoubtedly have many who also judge you for it - is it really worthwhile?

I'm not against including him on the STD - lots of couple include their kids or pets; I don't see how it's any different than including him on a Christmas card (regardless of his "wishes")

monkeysip · May 2013

In Response to Re: Complicated Invitation Wording:
[QUOTE]I received an invitation about 3 years ago: Mr (1 year old kid) request the honor of your presence at the marriage of his mommy and daddy Miss Bride and Mr Groom I rolled my eyes hard. Clearly the kid isn't old enough to actually be hosting; or even to understand that his parents were getting married. Seriously, OP, just skip it. You might have a few guests who think "oh how cute" but you will undoubtedly have many who also judge you for it - is it really worthwhile? I'm not against including him on the STD - lots of couple include their kids or pets; I don't see how it's any different than including him on a Christmas card (regardless of his "wishes")
Posted by Kate61487[/QUOTE]

But he'll look back in 20 years and feel so "honored" to have had his name listed as host on his parent's wedding invitation. :P

wrigleyville · May 2013

In Response to Re: Complicated Invitation Wording:
[QUOTE]Mr (1 year old kid) request the honor of your presence at the marriage of his mommy and daddy Miss Bride and Mr Groom
Posted by Kate61487[/QUOTE]

Oh dear god. I actually gagged a little when I read that. For real.

It reminds me of stuff on stfuparents.com

Jen4948 · May 2013

In Response to Re: Complicated Invitation Wording:
[QUOTE]I received an invitation about 3 years ago: Mr (1 year old kid) request the honor of your presence at the marriage of his mommy and daddy Miss Bride and Mr Groom I rolled my eyes hard. Clearly the kid isn't old enough to actually be hosting; or even to understand that his parents were getting married. Seriously, OP, just skip it. You might have a few guests who think "oh how cute" but you will undoubtedly have many who also judge you for it - is it really worthwhile? I'm not against including him on the STD - lots of couple include their kids or pets; I don't see how it's any different than including him on a Christmas card (regardless of his "wishes")
Posted by Kate61487[/QUOTE]

I have to admit that I'm not a fan of including kids or pets even on STDs. When it comes to weddings, I'd prefer that they just be about the bride and groom-not their kids, pets, or deceased loved ones.

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