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I committed a MAJOR faux pas.....

TerriHuggTerriHugg member
Fifth Anniversary 500 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Considering I got married a few weeks ago, it's probably too late to do anything about it, but I feel terrible and wanted some opinions.

Despite asking my cousin, my uncle, and his mom, I managed to spell my cousin's girlfriend's name wrong on everything wedding related including the invitations, thank you card, and seating chart. I didn't realize her name was spelt wrong until I saw her name signed in the guestbook when reading it last night.

Now, after reading the way she spelt her name I double checked the information my cousin and uncle sent about her name and realized they both sent it to me with the wrong spelling. I never met this girl before the wedding and she has  rather unique name. I can't believe my cousin spelt his own girlfriend's name wrong. It was in an email so it could've easily been a typo. But it's weird that everybody else who knows her spelt it wrong too.

I am a stickler for miss spelled names and feel terrible about it. I know how irritating it is when people spell my name wrong so I hate that I imposed that feeling on someone else whether or not I got the wrong information from someone. 

I'm wondering what would be an appropriate way to apologize to her. Thank you cards were already sent out but should I send a new one with the correct speilling according to the way she spelt it in the guestbook? Or should I simpley call her to apologize? Maybe I should send her something to make up for it. 

I just feel terrible about this and want to find a way to apologize for my MAJOR mistake. 
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Re: I committed a MAJOR faux pas.....

  • s-aries8990s-aries8990 member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    Are you going to see her again soon for any other family events? I'd just apologize in person rather than sending out another note.

    You did everything you could and although it is a faux pas, there's really nothing you could have done to prevent it. I mean, why would you second guess the way you cousin spells his GF's name, right?
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  • scully931scully931 member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited May 2013
    I'm guessing if she has an unusual name she is fairly used to it. My name can be spelled several ways and i don't give it much thought if someone writes it another way. Remember that your wedding means more to you and your husband than anyone else. Not to be snarky at all! Same applies to me. My guess is she hasn't given it another thought. :
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  • marburger06marburger06 member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its First Anniversary
    This is not a MAJOR faux pas. A MAJOR faux pas would have been not inviting her. This is a merely a slightly irritating mistake. Just casually bring it up when you see her or better yet just get it right the next time.
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  • TerriHuggTerriHugg member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to Re: I committed a MAJOR faux pas.....:
    [QUOTE]This is not a MAJOR faux pas. A MAJOR faux pas would have been not inviting her. This is a merely a slightly irritating mistake. Just casually bring it up when you see her or better yet just get it right the next time.
    Posted by marburger06[/QUOTE]

    I guess you have point. This kind of makes me feel better. 

    I just consider it a major faux pas because I think it's kind of insulting. Plus, in my line of work (journalism) you can lose your job for spelling someone's name wrong so I think was going with that line of thinking.
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  • wittykitty14wittykitty14 member
    1000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    I wouldn't worry about it.  If you're going to see her soon you could mention it, but other than that, I wouldn't.

    My name isn't unusual, but surprisingly, a lot of people have told me that they've never heard of spelling it the way I do.  I've never known anyone who spells it my way, but people just seem so shocked.  Mine is the most phonetic spelling of the name too, and just makes sense.  Maybe I'm a little biased :)

    Anyway, I'm used to people getting it wrong.  Yeah, it's annoying, but it rarely bothers me.  There are only a few times I've been annoyed by it.  The first-I had a facebook friend (who I used to be close with, but not any more), who posted a comment on something I put up.  In the comment, she said my name, and spelled it wrong.  My name was RIGHT THERE.  It was obnoxious, but so stupid that I had to laugh.  She's done this twice actually. The other thing that really bugs me is when close family members (who've known me my whole life), don't spell my name right.   I have a cousin in her 40s that got married last year, and she spelled my name wrong on my escort card. I was like "really?". When people know me well and still don't bother to spell my name right, that's when I'm annoyed.

    Since you never met her, she probably understands.  I wouldn't worry about it :)
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  • harper0813harper0813 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    I don't consider this a major faux pas. Just apologize the next time you see her and make some joke about having trouble spelling your own new last name or something.

    You being a journalist, I can see why this would be particularly embarrassing - but I have a name (Zoë) that's commonly misspelled as Zoey, Zooey, even Zoie. I don't consider "Zoe" (without umlauts) to be a misspelling, but many people get very embarrassed if they forget the dots. My last name is also ALMOST a well-known name in the city where I live and there's a major street (and several highway exits in the metropolitan area) that I share my name with - except the street name/famous name has one extra letter at the end. So even my last name is commonly misspelled - in any city, in fact. Honestly, if her name is unusual, she will be used to this by now. Don't beat yourself up.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    People spell my name wrong all the time. I'm used to it, and I'm sure she is, too. I would maybe mention it and laugh it off if you see her any time soon, but other than that, just let it go. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • TerriHuggTerriHugg member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    Thanks for the feedback everyone! I'll apologize if I ever see her again. Until then the correct spelling of her name is permantly engraved in my mind! 
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I agree with pp, you can apologize when you see her next time. It's not like you did it on purpose and chances are it's not the first time it's happened to her. The important thing is you invited her, and thanked her, yes it's embarrashing but not the end of the world. Congrats on your wedding!!
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  • heathertimsheathertims member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    I'm sure she's used to it. I have a Fairly common name that gets misspelled a lot, doesn't bug me one bit! I would just be happy to be there. Mention it in person if anything. I doubt shes remember! 
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  • TerriHuggTerriHugg member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    scribe95 said:
    I'm a journalist with a common name that has many different spellings. I gave up a long time ago caring if everyone spells my name exactly right. Don't worry about it. It's not something for someone to get offended about - unless of course you are the girlfriend and you realize your own boyfriend can't spell your name.
    I couldn't help but laugh at this. But it's so true. I coudn't help but think what kind of boyfriend doesn't know how to spell the name of the girl he's dating?!
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