Destination wedding

icecreamcono · May 2013

OK, so we are most likely going the destination wedding route. And it's not going to be an easy one for people. We live in LA, my family lives in New York, and we are thinking Italy or Ireland.I know that the majority of LA people we invite will not be able to come. I don't want them to feel left out.

I know a lot of people have a party when they get back and invite people who couldn't make it, and I'd love to do that, but I don't want it to look like I'm soliciting gifts.That's not the point. If there is a non tacky way of adding to a wedding invite that there willbe a second reception in LA, maybe even with an added caveat that your presence is your present, please please share.

Also, when you do a destination wedding, you never do a registry, right? People are spending more than enough just getting there.

MrsGandthebeag · May 2013

I typically don't mind destination weddings. We were thinking of having one in fact, but then decided against it. But, that being said, I think your location is way too far/expensive. Talk to your VIPs, anyone that you would be totally bummed if they weren't there to see if they'd be able to swing it. You can still have a registry, there's nothing wrong with that. Just don't put any registry info in the invite. I think you would send a separate invitation for an at home reception later.

missmo14 · May 2013

Im having a destination wedding we live in Australia, getting married in Las Vegas. Regardless of where I wouldve chosen to get married, most of my guests would have had to travel as my family is spread around the world. I will not be having a second celebration when we get home and we are not registering. I don't see anything wrong with destination weddings if that is what you and your FI want, congratulations.

perfectisboring · May 2013

Ireland and Italy sound like beautiful locations for your wedding! I would agree, though, they are super expensive, and I can't see many people being able to go. However, they are popular tourist destinations, so maybe some people will save their money and make the trip.

That being said, I can see a destination wedding that far away being a family-only affair. If your close friends and relativs make it, I think it would be fine to throw a 'We're married!' party when you get home. I'm living abroad and getting married in the UK, so that's what FH and I are doing. I have a big family, so we will likely be renting a venue, but we're not doing fancy invitations or any other wedding-y things.

STARMOON44 · May 2013

If you don't want them to feel left out, don't have your wedding half way around the world.

Jen4948 · May 2013

I don't think destination weddings are rude or inconsiderate in and of themselves, unless one or both of the couple insists that others completely rearrange their own lives around going to the wedding.

But I agree with Starmoon44: If it's really important to you to have a destination wedding, you need to stop worrying about those who can't attend feeling "left out." You can't have it both ways.

OpenHeart0117 · May 2013

I think you should get married where you want to as long as you understand that the cost will prohibit some people from traveling. Our wedding is 100% destination. We met in Texas where we live & neither of us have family here. I have lived here for over 10 years & he has lived here for 7 years. Our Texas friends only represent about 25% of our guest list. I am from the Midwest, he was born in the South but raised in the Northeast. We are gettng married in New Orleans & literally all our guests are coming from all over the country: Charleston, New York, Baltimore, DC, Houston, Dallas, Oklahoma City, Atlanta, Chicago. We invited 200, and are shooting for 150. My Fiance has a huge family & is very close with them. He has 9 Aunts & Uncles on his dad's side & 5 on his Mom's side & he has true close relationships with most all of his first cousins. My family is much smaller, but for example I have a lot of Sorority sisters that I am close to and have more friends on my list than he does. With just our wedding party & their families, our immediate families, we will easily get to 100 people showing up with no problem. No matter what city we picked for our wedding, the majority of our guests would have had to incur travel and lodging expenses. We decided to getting married in New Orleans because we love the city, I have been traveling their annually for the last 15 years & we have been there together over the last few years. It just felt right to us. It wasn't until we started planning that we learned how popular it is for destination weddings. Lot's of people plan weddings there where 100% of the people are not from there & not all of these weddings are small (under 100) either. My point is, plan the wedding you want, where you want. Every body's family is different. Only you know the people in your network. My Fiance's family is what I consider to be a "traveling family" as compared to mine. They are the type of people that have no problem booking a flight and going somewhere. In the three years we have been together, both his brothers & my SIL have flown to visit us in Houston several times. They move around way more than my family in general. His side is very excited about the wedding & we fully expect them to be there in full effect & in number they represent the majority of the list. This is a bigger deal for my family, because they just don't travel like that, but truthfully, we only invited people that we reasonably expected would travel to New Orleans to see us get married.
Italy sounds absolutely beautiful. Good luck with your planning !

Destination wedding

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