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Wedding Etiquette Forum
a6a14173
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corsage question
Hi,
We met with a florist yesterday to get a quote. We were talking about the number of corsages, and a sticky question came up. I know that it's traditional for the mother of the bride and mother of thegroom to have corsages, but I have a somewhat non-traditional situation.
My parents were divorced when I was 5, and my mom moved across the country. She has a mental illness, and was unable to take care of me. I visited her most years for a week, and talked on the phone. Sufficed to say, we are not close.
My dad has been with the same woman for over 25 years, though they never married or even lived together. She was a real mother figure for me, and I even lived with her for two years when my dad worked in another city. This woman was a good friend of my mother's before my parents' divorce, which, as you may imagine, has caused some friction between all three of them.
My question is, do I get a corsage for my dad's partner or not? I'd like to to honour the role that she has played in my life, but I don't want to cause undue angst for my mother.
Thanks for the advice!
We met with a florist yesterday to get a quote. We were talking about the number of corsages, and a sticky question came up. I know that it's traditional for the mother of the bride and mother of thegroom to have corsages, but I have a somewhat non-traditional situation.
My parents were divorced when I was 5, and my mom moved across the country. She has a mental illness, and was unable to take care of me. I visited her most years for a week, and talked on the phone. Sufficed to say, we are not close.
My dad has been with the same woman for over 25 years, though they never married or even lived together. She was a real mother figure for me, and I even lived with her for two years when my dad worked in another city. This woman was a good friend of my mother's before my parents' divorce, which, as you may imagine, has caused some friction between all three of them.
My question is, do I get a corsage for my dad's partner or not? I'd like to to honour the role that she has played in my life, but I don't want to cause undue angst for my mother.
Thanks for the advice!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: corsage question
[QUOTE]I would get a corsage for all 3 moms. Honor them all for the roles they played in your life. Your mom who gave birth to you and your SM who raised you. And for your FMIL who raised your FI.
Posted by OliveOilsMom[/QUOTE]
I agree fully.
If you want to cut costs, you should look elsewhere. I totally understand that prices can add up, but these women are important and to sacrifice <em>their</em> things is not the way to go.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: corsage question : I agree fully. If you want to cut costs, you should look elsewhere. I totally understand that prices can add up, but these women are important and to sacrifice their things is not the way to go.
Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]
Thanks to both of you for the input. It's not so much about the money, I'm more worried about upstting my mother. My preference would be for my dad's girlfriend to get a corsage, but if my mom is feeling upset about it (depending on the day she's having) she will be very vocal about it. She doesn't have the same social filters/ability to 'suck it up' as most people. It wouldn't be malicious, but it would be uncomfortable.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: corsage question : Thanks to both of you for the input. It's not so much about the money, I'm more worried about upstting my mother. My preference would be for my dad's girlfriend to get a corsage, but if my mom is feeling upset about it (depending on the day she's having) she will be very vocal about it. She doesn't have the same social filters/ability to 'suck it up' as most people. It wouldn't be malicious, but it would be uncomfortable.
Posted by a6a14173[/QUOTE]
Would letting your mom know beforehand help? As opposed to her being surprised by it?
[QUOTE]Hi, We met with a florist yesterday to get a quote. We were talking about the number of corsages, and a sticky question came up. I know that it's traditional for the mother of the bride and mother of thegroom to have corsages, but I have a somewhat non-traditional situation. My parents were divorced when I was 5, and my mom moved across the country. She has a mental illness, and was unable to take care of me. I visited her most years for a week, and talked on the phone. Sufficed to say, we are not close. My dad has been with the same woman for over 25 years, though they never married or even lived together. She was a real mother figure for me, and I even lived with her for two years when my dad worked in another city. This woman was a good friend of my mother's before my parents' divorce, which, as you may imagine, has caused some friction between all three of them. <strong>My question is, do I get a corsage for my dad's partner or not? I'd</strong> like to to honour the role that she has played in my life, but I don't want to cause undue angst for my mother. Thanks for the advice!
Posted by a6a14173[/QUOTE]
Absolutely.
[QUOTE]Yes, I would definitely get her one
Posted by loca4pook[/QUOTE]
We had a similar situation-- my mother-in-law has been with my husband's "stepfather" since he was in elementary school. Even though they're not married, it seemed wrong to not recognize him. I think your mom will understand.
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