Wedding Party
Options

Bridesmaid Fitting DRAMA

All of my bridesmaids have picked up their dresses and got them altered. They all got them altered at their own place because the bridal salon was too expensive for everyone. My MOH sent out a message to everyone giving everyone a recommendation to her seamstress who was cheap. She did hemming, taking in/out and steaming all for $50. Everyone got theirs done except for one bridesmaid (Sarah).

Sarah told my MOH that she is not getting her dress taken out because she doesn't have the money. The dress is really tight on her and it's so tight that it bunches in the back and she can't sit down. I get in touch with Sarah and asked her what's going on. She said she got it hemmed, but that's it because she can't afford the rest. I asked her where she went and how much it was. She said she went to some place near her house and spent $70 on hemming!!! I asked why didn't she go with what the MOH suggested to everyone? She didn't answer me. I have been trying to get her to go to get her dress taken out since March and my wedding is now in 29 days. I asked her again last night when she is going to go get it fitted and she said tomorrow (today). So we will see. If she doesn't go, what should I do? I don't know what to do anymore. My MOH won't help me because she thinks it's Sarah's problem and she shouldn't have to babysit her. Sarah is 25 yrs. old and she should know responsibility. Yes, I completely agree, but if this was the other way around my MOH would be having a fit.

This goes way back with Sarah though. Throughout this whole wedding planning she has been complaining about money and how she never has any, but yet she makes it sound like she works 12 hrs a day and she's always going out and going to Blackhawks games. I understand that my BMs have a life outside of my wedding. I get that. She told be how stressed she was and making herself sick because of her finacial situation. I even asked her if being a bridesmaid was stressing her out. I told her I would be sad, but wouldn't be upset if she dropped out because her health is more important. She told me she would be ok. So I said ok. But now she's still telling me how she's broke and can't afford anything. I have tried talking to her. To give her a chance to tell me if there is something else that is bothering her. She tells me nothing. I have known her and have been friends with her for 13 years.

I'm open for suggestions on how to deal with these 2 situations since my MOH is not helping me and my other bridesmaids are too afraid to say anything.

Re: Bridesmaid Fitting DRAMA

  • Options
    AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited May 2013
    If she doesn't go and the dress doesn't fit her, 1 of 2 things will happen. Either she will be in your wedding in an ill-fitting dress, or she will refuse to wear the ill-fitting dress and, therefore, have removed herself from your wedding. Leave it alone. Your MOH is right; Sarah is a big girl and neither of you need to do anything about this. It's Sarah's problem. 






    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • Options
    ditto everything Addie said.  leave it alone.
  • Options
    mlg78mlg78 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    I agree. I also don't understand why you feel your MOH should be taking this on. I am sure this bridesmaid is aware she needs this alteration. By nagging her about it you're probably just making her feel bad. I know I would be if I was having financial troubles and wasn't thin enough to fit into my dress. Besides, it's none of your business how she spends her money.
  • Options

    If this 'goes way back' with her, I'm not sure why you expected her to be any different now.

    Either way, don't waste your time worrying about it.  She'll self-remove if she doesn't get a dress that fits her.

    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

    image

    Anniversary

  • Options
    jess1669 said:

    All of my bridesmaids have picked up their dresses and got them altered. They all got them altered at their own place because the bridal salon was too expensive for everyone. My MOH sent out a message to everyone giving everyone a recommendation to her seamstress who was cheap. She did hemming, taking in/out and steaming all for $50. Everyone got theirs done except for one bridesmaid (Sarah).

    Sarah told my MOH that she is not getting her dress taken out because she doesn't have the money. The dress is really tight on her and it's so tight that it bunches in the back and she can't sit down. I get in touch with Sarah and asked her what's going on. She said she got it hemmed, but that's it because she can't afford the rest. I asked her where she went and how much it was. She said she went to some place near her house and spent $70 on hemming!!! I asked why didn't she go with what the MOH suggested to everyone? She didn't answer me. I have been trying to get her to go to get her dress taken out since March and my wedding is now in 29 days. I asked her again last night when she is going to go get it fitted and she said tomorrow (today). So we will see. If she doesn't go, what should I do? I don't know what to do anymore. My MOH won't help me because she thinks it's Sarah's problem and she shouldn't have to babysit her. Sarah is 25 yrs. old and she should know responsibility. Yes, I completely agree, but if this was the other way around my MOH would be having a fit.

    This goes way back with Sarah though. Throughout this whole wedding planning she has been complaining about money and how she never has any, but yet she makes it sound like she works 12 hrs a day and she's always going out and going to Blackhawks games. I understand that my BMs have a life outside of my wedding. I get that. She told be how stressed she was and making herself sick because of her finacial situation. I even asked her if being a bridesmaid was stressing her out. I told her I would be sad, but wouldn't be upset if she dropped out because her health is more important. She told me she would be ok. So I said ok. But now she's still telling me how she's broke and can't afford anything. I have tried talking to her. To give her a chance to tell me if there is something else that is bothering her. She tells me nothing. I have known her and have been friends with her for 13 years.

    I'm open for suggestions on how to deal with these 2 situations since my MOH is not helping me and my other bridesmaids are too afraid to say anything.

    The only person that needs to worry about how the dress fits is the bridesmaid that is wearing it.  You, your MOH and your other bridemaids have no business butting in.  If the dress doesn't fit, she will just attend as a guest.
  • Options
    Thank you for your opinions. I will try and not worry about it. I just want all the girls to be comfortable in their dress. But yes, I guess it is her problem if she deosn't want to be comfortable. She's not big, by the way. She is skinny, a size 4. Thanks everyone! 
  • Options

    Why did she buy a dress that didn't fit her in the first place? If it fit her when she bought it and now it doesn't even if you think she is skinny, that could seriously affect her self esteem and it may be why she doesn't want to get it taken out and she's just using money as an excuse.

    I am a smaller girl, but when my clothes don't fit it makes me upset, but it isn't something I would discuss with anyone because I get the usual "you're being ridiculous" or "you're so skinny just shut up". People think this is funny or helpful, but in reality it makes me feel like my body issues have to be kept quiet because I'm not plus sized.

    If the dress needs taken in she knows it and there's a reason. It probably doesn't help to have you remind her about it and discuss it with other people. Just let it go and trust that she will get it taken care of.

    image
  • Options
    All the girls had a problem with their dress. The person who measured everyone was not very knowledgeable in what she was doing and told everyone what size to order. It wasn't until after they were ordered that the dresses run smaller than usual so everyone should have ordered a size or 2 bigger than their actual size. So everyone had to get it taken out. She's not the only one.
  • Options
    kerbohlkerbohl member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    Oh wow, that really sucks about the girl measuring everyone.  I wonder - conspiracy theory - if it wasn't that she wasn't knowledgeable but left out info so the dresses wouldn't fit properly and would need more expensive alterations that they hoped would be at that store . . . I'm a little paranoid, but it just sucks that extra alternations were needed because the sizes were all off.

    I would just let it go with this BM, like PP have said.  At this point she can wear the dress, it just doesn't fit properly and she will be uncomfortable.  It's better than it not being completely wearable. 

  • Options
    And maybe she feels that it's not her fault that the size was wrong so she shouldn't have to pay for it. I don't know. Just another thought. But taking everyone's advice, I'm not going to worry about it.
  • Options

    She's probably hesitating because she thinks you don't want her a part of the wedding anymore. Why spend more money when you gave her an option to step down?

    Also, what she spends her money on is not any of your concern. If she wants to go to hockey games, then she absolutely can.

    Anniversary
  • Options
    kerbohl said:
    Oh wow, that really sucks about the girl measuring everyone.  I wonder - conspiracy theory - if it wasn't that she wasn't knowledgeable but left out info so the dresses wouldn't fit properly and would need more expensive alterations that they hoped would be at that store . . . I'm a little paranoid, but it just sucks that extra alternations were needed because the sizes were all off.

    I would just let it go with this BM, like PP have said.  At this point she can wear the dress, it just doesn't fit properly and she will be uncomfortable.  It's better than it not being completely wearable. 
    Your not paranoid some places really do this! I argued with a lady once about it. I was looking right at the sizing chart after we took my measurments and she kept trying to talk me into a size up and that we can always take it in. I finally ordered it online myself in the size I wanted and .... dun dun dun... it fit just how I wanted it too!
    image


    Anniversary
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards