Hello

ashlyns17 · May 2013

Hello

artbyallie · May 2013

onoitsashlyn said:

I'm wanting to do a "who wears the cake" jar at the reception. For example: one jar with the brides name and one with the grooms and people put in money for who they want to see wear the cake. My question is can anybody think of alternatives to having people put money in for "who wears the cake"? Maybe instead something like "who wears the pants"? Many families and people in general will find this tacky. My family would find it hilarious so I'm not looking for advice on of its tacky or not. Thanks!

Please don't. It is not in any way appropriate to solicit money from your guests, ever. And yes, it's 100% tacky and you can't make it not tacky.

AddieCake · May 2013

Well, you're going to get comments about it being tacky whether you want them or not b/c this is a public forum and people are allowed to post however they want.

This is one of the worst ideas I have ever heard. This is a wedding, not a pep rally or frat party. I would be so embarrassed for any couple who did this, both for soliciting money from guests AND for the ridiculousness of smearing cake on anyone.

lyndausvi · May 2013

I've never honestly never heard of this before. I have to say I'm glad my social circle does not solicit money from our guests at weddings.

misshart00 · May 2013

Besides the tacky part, why would you put "who wears the pants?" that sounds very confusing.

SlothGoals · May 2013

People are not going to help you figure out how to solicit money from your guests because it's rude.

NOLAbridealmost · May 2013

Oh. My. Dear. God.

I still think the whole cake-smashing in the MOH and BM's faces instead of the couple's is the tackiest idea I've ever heard. This comes close though.....not bad, OP. Not bad.

libby2483 · May 2013

Who wears cake money jar?

People who want to go against etiquette and be rude to their family and friends.

JoanE2012 · May 2013

onoitsashlyn said:

I'm wanting to do a "who wears the cake" jar at the reception. For example: one jar with the brides name and one with the grooms and people put in money for who they want to see wear the cake. My question is can anybody think of alternatives to having people put money in for "who wears the cake"? Maybe instead something like "who wears the pants"? Many families and people in general will find this tacky. My family would find it hilarious so I'm not looking for advice on of its tacky or not. Thanks!

How old are you? Seriously, this sounds very immature. And you say you know most people would find it tacky, yet you still want to do it? That's awful.

Weddings are not fundraisers. They are not meant to showcase childish acts. Your wedding should be classy, not trashy.

AddieCake · May 2013

JoanE2012 said:

And you say you know most people would find it tacky, yet you still want to do it? That's awful.

No, no, no, Joan! OTHER people would find it tacky. HER family would find it HILARIOUS. They are cool and fun loving and YOU-NEEK, not sticks in the mud like most people.

OP, what about the groom's family and friends? Are they the wild and crazy cake-in-the face type?

lyndausvi · May 2013

NOLAbridealmost said:

Oh. My. Dear. God.

I still think the whole cake-smashing in the MOH and BM's faces instead of the couple's is the tackiest idea I've ever heard. This comes close though.....not bad, OP. Not bad.

My sister did that to me at her wedding (I was the MOH). 16 years later I'm still annoyed.

[Deleted User] · May 2013

What the hell with the "who wears the pants" jar?

Actually, I have an idea for you. Just set out a jar that says 'GIVE US MONEY.' It will serve the same purpose and, if you don't care about being tacky or rude, you might as well just get to the point.

NOLAbridealmost · May 2013

LMc0322 said:

What the hell with the "who wears the pants" jar?

Actually, I have an idea for you. Just set out a jar that says 'GIVE US MONEY.' It will serve the same purpose and, if you don't care about being tacky or rude, you might as well just get to the point.

That's actually a perfect answer. And unlike the rest of us who are just pointing out how tacky that idea was, you actually answered by giving a wording suggestion! OP will like you.

[Deleted User] · May 2013

NOLAbridealmost said:

LMc0322 said:

What the hell with the "who wears the pants" jar?

Actually, I have an idea for you. Just set out a jar that says 'GIVE US MONEY.' It will serve the same purpose and, if you don't care about being tacky or rude, you might as well just get to the point.

That's actually a perfect answer. And unlike the rest of us who are just pointing out how tacky that idea was, you actually answered by giving a wording suggestion! OP will like you.

Why thank you. If someone's going to not care about being rude, they might as well just go ahead and go all out-- as rude as possible!

MairePoppy · May 2013

How about a "Did the Bride or the Groom come up with this tacky idea?" jar.

RebeccaB88 · May 2013

This has GOT to be a joke.

Kelseyjo3 · May 2013

I personally think that this is a cute idea. when you are just starting out and don't have much, every little bit helps. I would not find it at all rude if I attended a wedding with this, and would gladly give some pocket change to help the couple out and to see some funny cake in the face action. Besides, the people that attend your wedding should be people that care about and love the both of you, therefore they should not feel at all offended by this gesture and they are not at all obligated to donate to the cause. And also, ladies, its your wedding and you should not care about what others might find "tacky"... get over it and have a good time. As for you, onoitsashlyn, I hope you get a great honeymoon fund and get to throw cake all over him!

brielleinlove · May 2013

Kelseyjo3 said:

I personally think that this is a cute idea. when you are just starting out and don't have much, every little bit helps. I would not find it at all rude if I attended a wedding with this, and would gladly give some pocket change to help the couple out and to see some funny cake in the face action. Besides, the people that attend your wedding should be people that care about and love the both of you, therefore they should not feel at all offended by this gesture and they are not at all obligated to donate to the cause. And also, ladies, its your wedding and you should not care about what others might find "tacky"... get over it and have a good time. As for you, onoitsashlyn, I hope you get a great honeymoon fund and get to throw cake all over him!

On the off chance that you aren't a troll... what "cause," exactly, are guests donating to? Your bank account is not a 501c3, therefore there is no donating involved. Putting jars out like this is rude. It sends the message that the bride and groom only invited people to the wedding to see how much they could squeeze out of their guests. "We know you most likely gave us a wedding gift, but here, give us some money too!"

Simply Fated · May 2013

You gotta combine the two ideas. Ask for money to vote on who wears the pants cake... and then just smash the cake in the BM and MOH's face, anyway.

QueerFemme · May 2013

Put a jar out that says "We are super rude and tacky, but we think you'll find our lack of etiquette hilarious. So, give us your money".

artbyallie · May 2013

bAnnEdstage said:

@KnotPorscha, this thread is another example of flagging being abused and getting out of hand. kelseyjo3 and onoitsashlyn have gone through and reported almost every response in this thread because they don't like them. Can we please have some consequences for abusing the flag method?

Seconded.

brielleinlove · May 2013

The "flag" button is not a Reddit downvote button. Please don't use it just because you don't like the answers you've gotten. @KnotPorscha, @KnotJackie, @KnotIrene, I would seriously consider adding a downvote button if that is possible with this software. It might help entitled snowflakes vent their butthurt about not hearing their bad ideas validated in an appropriate way. I don't see anything that violates TOS in my response.

Maggie0829 · May 2013

I third (or is fourth) the flagging issue. Just because a poster doesn't like a response does not mean that the responses were abusive in anyway. I think a "dislike" button or "thumbs down button" would be a better option. I understand the need for the "flag" button so that posters can note vendors or other posters who have actually posted a personal attack against someone but flagging someone just because they said their idea is tacky is abusing the system and should have some sort of consequence.

Ro041 · May 2013

AddieL73 said:

JoanE2012 said:

And you say you know most people would find it tacky, yet you still want to do it? That's awful.

No, no, no, Joan! OTHER people would find it tacky. HER family would find it HILARIOUS. They are cool and fun loving and YOU-NEEK, not sticks in the mud like most people.

OP, what about the groom's family and friends? Are they the wild and crazy cake-in-the face type?

I ACCIDENTALLY flagged you! I am sorry! I was trying to figure out if I could see who had flagged your post and I have now flagged you. @KnotPorsha - it needs to be more clear that if you click on the button that says "2 Flags" you will add one.

ETA - I was able to unflag by clicking it again.

Maggie0829 · May 2013

@Rochelle041 you can tell who flagged who by looking at the bottom of their post. You will see small versions of their username pics with a grey icon next to it. If you hover your mouse over the small pic it will tell you the name of the user who flagged it and if they flagged it as abuse or spam. You can also click on the posters username and it will take you to their "wall" and it will tell you how many times they have been flagged and I believe by who.

Ro041 · May 2013

Maggie0829 said:

@Rochelle041 you can tell who flagged who by looking at the bottom of their post. You will see small versions of their username pics with a grey icon next to it. If you hover your mouse over the small pic it will tell you the name of the user who flagged it and if they flagged it as abuse or spam. You can also click on the posters username and it will take you to their "wall" and it will tell you how many times they have been flagged and I believe by who.

Thanks! I didn't notice that before, but it is now painfully obvious. One day I will be good at interneting.

MairePoppy · May 2013

@KnotPorscha - Please review the flags on this thread.

Since the flagging system has been abused, here, CC and probably other boards, it's only fair that you put everyone's abuse counts back to zero. Also, could you follow up on posters who are flagging the same members multiple times or who are flagging on a regular basis? I thought we were all adults here, but apparently I was wrong.

[Deleted User] · May 2013

Hi Everyone,

As we tackle your concerns, I am asking that you continue to only page me @KnotPorscha moving forward. It will help in making sure that the team is working only on issues that haven't been addressed yet. KJ or KI may jump in with answers, but it will help us move much faster.

Thanks!
KP

alithebride · May 2013

wow a new way to shake down your guests for more cash.

terrible.

misshart00 · May 2013

So, you flagged everyone's post who disagreed with you then DD'd. Mature.

SlothGoals · May 2013

@onoitsashlyn it's considered rude to delete your post after people have taken the time to reply. It's also rude to go through each post and flag the ones that aren't what you want to hear.

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