Proposal Question

rel1988 · May 2013

When your FI or DH proposed were you surprised?

I am the type of person who is impossible to surprise..I just always find out ahead of time. I don't think I've truly been surprised ever. I found out FI had boughten a ring about 2 weeks after he had done so. We had just gotten our pup a month previously and he was in his teething stage. One morning I was getting ready for work and our pup had gotten into FI's wallet and pulled everything out. I found a receipt from the jeweler with cost, description, etc. I called my mom and told a couple friends and was on high alert for the next month until he did so. To this day, FI still doesn't know I had found that receipt.

MuppetFan · May 2013

NO and I'm still bitter about it.

FMIL told me when he received the ring (almost a year earlier) and even described it and told me where to find it in our house. WTF?

This made it so that a while, I wondered why we hadn't progressed enough to propose and if he would. Eventually, I stopped caring too much because I knew it was going to happen and we were buying a house so I had more important things to deal with.

His mother at one point told me not to worry, things are in the mix! And essentially told me he was planning to do it over a special weekend. I asked her not to say things to me like that. He WAS planning a special trip to Hershey Park but when he found out I knew about it, it fell through.

We bought the house, had a housewarming party, and she was frantically inviting people to our party. She called 8 times that morning before she came over and one of those times I overheard her talking about the cake and that it would say congratulations through the cell. She's really loud. If FI didn't quickly react to jump and turn the volume down, I would've thought it was for the house. Then, she came in, wouldn't let me near her car... and started setting up a video camera. To record our housewarming? Yeah...right. I knew from all her activity that it was happening that day. It was not a surprise at all.

Who tells someone this stuff??

ETA: and he waited to do it until we were settled and he wanted to do it when our family was around

tiny speck · May 2013

Nope. He didn't even really propose. We had been talking about marriage for a while and we had come to the agreement that it would make sense to get married within the next year or so, and then we told our families, at which point we found out his mom had an heirloom ring we could have if we wanted. So, no proposal, no ring until later, and I've been fine with that.

BostonGIrl4732 · May 2013

I don't like surprises. When FI and I started talking about marriage, I told him that I didn't want to be surprised. I wanted to help pick out the ring because it was something that I'd be wearing everyday for the rest of my life and because he doesn't have the best track record picking out stuff that I like. He was OK with that because he didn't want to spend a ton of money on something I wasn't going to like.

I knew when he bought the ring because the setting I picked turned out to be a no-go (the jeweler ordered it and said it was horrible quality and that I'd be miserable if I got that setting). So I had to go pick out another setting, but I had to to do it that day so he'd have the ring before we went on vacation. I was surprised about the diamond (he picked that on his own) and how he proposed (I honestly didn't even see it coming, surprising because I KNEW he had the ring).

Everyone has their own story, and as long as everyone involved is OK with it, then I think you're good.

rel1988 · May 2013

@MuppetFan I know her actions the day of we're probably out of excitement but yeah why did she tell you about the ring?!!

PrettyGirlLost · May 2013

Yes, I was absolutely surprised and floored.

We had been together for almost 11 years at the time he proposed, and it was not as if I thought we would never get married. We have known for a very, very long time that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together, but we wanted to wait until he had finished grad school and had a job. . . weddings are $$$$$ right?

I just wasn't expecting him to propose to me that night, lol. And I am very proud of him because he was so clam and cool about everything, I didn't suspect anything other than we were going out for a nice evening.

AddieCake · May 2013

Yes and no. We had talked about getting married, and I was ring shopping but not finding THE ONE. My husband got tired of waiting for me to find the ring so he could propose, so one day he just changed our FB statuses to engaged. I woke up to a mass of congratulatory messages and had no idea WTF was going on.

Swazzle · May 2013

H and I ring-shopped together so I knew it was coming eventually. I was surprised when the proposal actually happened, though. I had just gotten home from work and he whipped out the ring and asked me to marry him in our bedroom about 5 minutes later. So, I was surprised in the sense that I didn't expect it on a Tuesday afternoon, a foot from our bed

pends123 · May 2013

FI totally went for the surprise factor. I always tease that he never gets me flowers, so I come home one night ready to relax and watch TV and FI says he got me something and goes into the closet. He pulls out a beautiful bouquet of pink roses and as I'm smelling them and awing over his sweetness, I don't even notice that he's on his knee! I look at him and he has the ring.

I was shocked because he had been telling me that it would be a while before he propose due to money. We had been together for 5 years (HS sweethearts) and I was getting antsy He actually had the ring for almost a month without me knowing.

MoonlightSilver · May 2013

We picked out my ring together, so I wasn't surprised that it would happen. The first time he tried to propose, I knew something was up and wouldn't let him (it was my birthday and I didn't want to be proposed to on my birthday. No idea why I felt that way). The second time he tried I would have been completely surprised, but the ring fell out of his pocket and I saw it. Since I was all nerves and freaking out once I saw it, he decided to follow through and propose.

PrettyGirlLost · May 2013

Oh yeah, you all reminded me. . . we never went ring shopping together or really ever talked about rings prior to him whipping mine out, so another huge reason I was so floored when he proposed.

About 5 years ago when I was in a friend's wedding and looking at wedding mags for her, I showed him a picture of a Tacori ring I really liked- three stone, princess cut, fancy vintage-y setting. FI remembered and nailed it!!

FI rocks :-)

thejucheidea · May 2013

I knew it was coming because he said we'd be engaged before we saw his extended family for Thanksgiving, so when the Saturday before passed and nothing happened, I figured that it was going to happen on Sunday and I was right. The method of proposal was a surprise, but the ring was not, as we were given it by my Grandma in May 2011 and he proposed in November 2012.

harper0813 · May 2013

No, he totally gave himself away when he bought us a trip to Paris 6 weeks in advance. I mean, who goes on a last-minute trip to France with their long-time SO and DOESN'T get engaged? Okay, maybe some people. But he was acting really fishy there about keeping our valuables locked up (he kept the ring box in the safe along with our phones, passports and iPads and wouldn't tell me the security code so that I wouldn't "mess it up and lock our things in there"). He was just being so weird and obvious, and it was cute. I'd never seen him nervous before, as he is normally extremely confident, Type A, and generally suave.

I love all of these stories! I never venture over to "Just Engaged" so it's nice to hear about your proposals.

wittykitty14 · May 2013

Nope.

We had been talking about it for months. I mentioned to my mom that we'd been talking about it, and she offered us my memere's engagement ring that my mom got when she passed. I was honored, and after thinking it over for a couple weeks, my FI and I decided to accept.

We took the ring somewhere to get it sized. We picked it up together. He tortured me for a couple hours before proposing. He eventually asked when we were on our way to a rehearsal. He left the box in the car, but managed to sneak the ring in his pocket. (I pretended not to notice, but I totally knew he did that). We were carrying our trombones and other music crap inside, and he started holding my left hand, and twiddled the ring around so I knew he really had it. Then he slipped it on my finger and asked me to marry him.

It's not the "storybook" proposal. I had always envisioned being surprised about everything, he'd get down on one knee and say something sweet. Yeah, I had none of that. But it doesn't bother me. It was absolutely perfect because I know that FI is the right person.

AddieCake · May 2013

cmsciulli said:

Oh yeah, you all reminded me. . . we never went ring shopping together or really ever talked about rings prior to him whipping mine out, so another huge reason I was so floored when he proposed.

About 5 years ago when I was in a friend's wedding and looking at wedding mags for her, I showed him a picture of a Tacori ring I really liked- three stone, princess cut, fancy vintage-y setting. FI remembered and nailed it!!

FI rocks :-)

That's awesome that he remembered it!

Maggie0829 · May 2013

Yes I was surprised when it happened, but no I was not surprised that he proposed because by that point we had been together 8 years and had talked about marriage and rings for a while and knew that he would ask when he felt ready to ask and was content with our relationship.

The night he proposed I had no clue and had even made a joke at dinner saying "So when are you ever going to ask me to marry you?" Two hours later he did just that and after 5 minutes of me standing there looking at the ring with my mouth wide open in shock I said yes.

smalfrie19 · May 2013

The ring was not a surprise but the method was. I had picked it out online and he has ordered so I know the day that it arrived. I has expected him to wait a few days to propose after getting it. That day when we got home from work, I went down to the pool to read for about an hour and then I came up to the aparment and changed into my lounge clothes (his t-shirt and a pair of undies ) and I sat down at our computer. I had turned on the monitor, but was not paying attention. All of a sudden he is standing over me and I just looked up at him with a questioning look. He nodded toward the screen and he had changed the background to a beach scene with "will you marry me" written in the sand. It was SO romantic and not what I expected. He still to this day thinks there should have been some sort of big production and doesn't believe me when I tell him it was PERFECT!

RWS2011 · May 2013

When FI proposed, I knew it would be coming soon, but just not in that moment. We had picked out the ring together and went to pick it up together. When he saw how happy I was with it, he joked that maybe he should just let me keep it then. He also said he wouldn't make me wait too long. He had also mentioned before that the proposal was a lot of pressure on the man. The night he proposed, we were on a walk and told him I hoped he wasn't putting pressure on himself for some over the top proposal. That just isn't us. When we got home, he put on a record with our song on it. He started talking about what I meant to him and the next thing I knew he was pulling the ring out of his pocket. It turns out he had planned about 3 different times to propose, and each time something came up!

[Deleted User] · May 2013

I knew it was coming but still had a complete meltdown. My mother was actually the opposite. FI had asked her and my dad nearly a month before proposing. My mother's only way to keep it a secret was to act like the OPPOSITE was happening. "Well, how long are you goign to give him before he proposes? Don't be afraid to start over." It was insanity. haha

The day of, I knew it had to be happening. He told me that he wanted to take me to dinner and it was a surprise. I was nauseous after that, but somehow managed to take a nap. I got all ready, went downstairs, and sat on the couch. He knew I knew because I was just sitting there in silence without the tv on. He then said "let's take a picture." Uh. Well that's odd. As he pulled me in to take a picture, I could hear how heavy his breathing was. At this point I'm panicking. He proposes, I have a complete meltdown.

Our favorite restaurant had closed a few months earlier. So I'm sitting there wondering where the hell we're going. All of a sudden our door bell rings. It's the chef from that restaurant. He cooked for us in our house. I was so surprised. He also brought much alcohol. I think I had a two day hangover.

I hate surprises. Even though I knew it had to be coming, I was still shocked. In a good way.

wittykitty14 · May 2013

I want to share my friend's proposal story because it's so cute!

They picked out the ring together, and he picked it up on his own when it was ready. He waited a few weeks to give it to her, when they were at her dad's house.

They were playing a game with her dad and brother called "snickerdoodle". It may have other names, and you may have heard of it, but this is how it works: Everyone writes a brief descriptive sentence. My friend's FI (now H) put down "Two cops fighting over a donut". They pass their paper to the next person, who has to draw what it says. They give only the picture to the next person, who has to write a sentence to describe what they see. It keeps going round and round until it gets back to the first person, and everyone shares how ridiculous theirs ended up. Friend's FI wrote the donut one, and it ended up being a picture of two people holding a circle (which was meant to be a ring-it worked out well). He put down the cards, showing everyone how his turned out. When he was done, he put down a card in front of my friend that said "Will you Marry Me?" She was confused for a second, and during that time he grabbed the ring and got down on one knee. She didn't see him do that and by the time she looked back towards him, there he was! I love their story!

winelover123 · May 2013

These are all cute

FI definitely surprised me with the ring and the timing. We were going away for a long weekend and during the car ride we were talking about getting engaged and FI said it wasn't time yet, he didn't have the money for the ring, etc. I had found THE RING at an estate shop and FI told me during the car ride that it was probably gone by then but we'll find a new one. We made it to our destination and our first activity of the weekend - a horse drawn sleigh ride. Towards the end of the ride FI proposed. I was so shocked that I didn't say anything for a full two minutes. FI swears he had a heart attack during that time. Neither of us can remember what we said exactly, but I'm guessing I said yes sometime after those two minutes.

cnf2013 · May 2013

I was completely surprised. I mean, I kind of knew at some point it was coming since we had just bought a house together a few months prior, but when it happened I was surprised and not expecting it. It was a low key, just the two of us thing and I was expecting something more elaborate. But I'm glad he did it the way he did, it was perfect.

PrettyGirlLost · May 2013

AddieL73 said:

cmsciulli said:

Oh yeah, you all reminded me. . . we never went ring shopping together or really ever talked about rings prior to him whipping mine out, so another huge reason I was so floored when he proposed.

About 5 years ago when I was in a friend's wedding and looking at wedding mags for her, I showed him a picture of a Tacori ring I really liked- three stone, princess cut, fancy vintage-y setting. FI remembered and nailed it!!

FI rocks :-)

That's awesome that he remembered it!

He is awesome. . .I am lucky I can remember what I had for dinner last night some times! It is bad and I'm only in my 30's!

LyannaStark · May 2013

I had absolutely no idea. I mean, we were in the process of moving him across the country to be with me, so it's not like we hadn't talked about it, but man, he didn't want to wait. It was actually the first day of the big cross-country move, stopped on the side of the road to watch a pretty valley sunset in the Sierras somewhere, and I didn't even notice he was next to me till he just says "So hey, I got you this" and opens up this gorgeous little vintage box. I just laughed and laughed and punched his arm a lot. It was just the most ridiculously happy amazing thing. I'm never surprised by anything ever, so I was pretty delirious. I never expected that kind of story, but I'm so glad I got one.

He'd bought the ring a month or so before, after shopping for months, and it's exactly exactly correct. I mean, I notice rings on other people now, which I never really did before, and there are pictures on Pinterest and all that, and I really honestly have yet to see one I liked better than this one. Also, according to him, he got my ring size from me during some random conversation I barely remember. It fit PERFECTLY. Slid right on.

It was a pretty great start.

MuppetFan · May 2013

rel1988 said:

@MuppetFan I know her actions the day of we're probably out of excitement but yeah why did she tell you about the ring?!!

She's got a BIG mouth and has no appreciation for boundaries or space. I also think SHE would've wanted to know if it were herself and that she was bonding with me by telling me.

If FI knew, he would be really hurt. He planned it for a long time and really wanted me to be surprised (i LOVE surprises).

amaryann210 · May 2013

He suprised me with when, but I knew it was coming. We had already picked our date and venue, so technically, we were already engaged, but he said my final "test" was Mardi Gras. He's been going to New Orleans to Mardi Gras for the last 13 years and Februarty was my first time. I LOVED being there and I knew he was going to propose at some point, but I was perfectly happy just living in the moment.

We went to a ball the night before Mardi Gras Day (black tie, floor-length gowns, the works) and while Harry Connick, Jr. was singing, he led me over in front of one of the parade floats. He gave his phone to a couple girls, so I thought we were taking a picture. He turned to me, got down on one knee and I was completely caught off guard and so overtaken by emotion that I don't remember what he said. He had the girls record it on his phone and though you can't hear us, their reaction (totally freaking out) was awesome.

I kinda felt like Cinderella

krispi921 · May 2013

I can't say I was surprised, but I was still super excited.

He isn't exactly the best at keeping secrets... While Christmas shopping, he called me from the outlet mall frustrated because he couldn't figure out which purse I'd like. I had to tell him to text my friend and get her help before he completely ruined the surprise.

So, back when we first started to talk about getting serious, he'd thrown out a February time frame for getting engaged. I'd told him that I'd hoped it would be sooner, so at first I thought he was just trying to throw me off track, but he did say it a few times. Then, not too long before Christmas, I accidentally overheard his mom ask if he was still thinking about proposing after the first of the year. (Cell phones can be loud...) I hoped he'd at least change his mind for a New Years proposal, but that didn't happen. Around that time, I also knew he was planning a trip to the jewelry store (because he hinted at it). He'd also gotten the diamond from his mom and had shown it to me. After he put the down payment on the ring, he confessed. He's not used to spending large chunks of money, so he couldn't keep it to himself. He said that he wasn't sure it would be ready in time for the next big holiday, which was almost a give-away in itself. So, yes, when Valentine's Day arrived, I was expecting it. But it was still very sweet and romantic, and I couldn't have been happier.

Peaseblossom55 · May 2013

Kind of sort of. When we were buying our home there was a large purchase done on account I only saw a large figure leaving I didn't see where I turned it over before I could see more. He gave me his bank statement back in January to submit for the approval of our mortgage it was right on the front so I wasn't snooping. I thought it might be a ring because we share all financial details since living together. I thought he might do it on vacation but I wasn't 100% sure. I thought may be no because he would have to bring the ring on the plane and I thought things were too busy with the home buying for him to do it. He did do it while we were away. Most of my friends, my family and his family knew but no one blabbed luckily I was still so shocked. It was obvious by the pictures that were taken while it happened.

Peledreamsofrain · May 2013

Yes and no. H and I are pretty poor, so I knew he was seriously saving for a ring and thought it would be a while. What I didn't know was that his parents had found family heirloom rings, and he was ready to propose WAY early. He planned on proposing at a new years eve party.

This particular party was a costume party, where were supposed to dress as a supervillain. Being a redhead, I either needed to pry myself into a Poison Ivy spandex monstrosity, or I could go as Pearl from MSTK3000. I chose Pearl.

So there I was in my bathroom, struggling to produce an impossible hairstyle while in a labcoat, and bitching at my H about how I didn't even want to go, when he panics and gets down on one knee. I've never had such a wild mood swing in my life. From grouchy to 'whuh?' to 'omg yes!'.

jemmini6 · May 2013

That depends on what you mean by surprised. Was I surprised that H asked me to marry him? Absolutely not, since we'd discussed marriage at length before we got engaged. (I honestly don't think anyone should be surprised with this one. H had a friend that proposed to a girl who had no idea he was even thinking about marriage and she automatically broke up with him when he proposed because she was way freaked out about it)

Was I surprised with when/how he proposed? Yes. We went ring shopping together and everything, so I figured it would be sooner rather than later, but I had no idea when he bought the ring, or how he would actually propose.

lyndausvi · May 2013

On our 4th date DH said he was going to marry me.

A few months later he told me at the loading dock at work he asked his boss off for work the first week of July to ask my dad for his blessing to marry me. (we lived in the islands at the time and could not met them until then). This was February mind you. By March I was designing my own ring with a diamond from MIL. I think I carried the ring to my parent's house. He asked for their blessing.

Now the funny part is by the time July came around he had been telling everyone in the islands I was his FI (not any of his stateside friends). Well we were at a bar in St John and happen to met a girl who works at the same company as my dad. When she returned home she connected dad to say he met me and my FI. Dad was like "FI?". He told my mom, who told all her friends.

So for a good 4 weeks or so we didn't know they knew something might be up. So when DH asked for their blessing my dad said "yes" then busted out a bottle of Dom and the email from the girl we met at the bar. I was basically handed the ring.

For reasons I can not explain, it was VERY important to DH to met my parents before I had the ring and it being all "official". Till this day I think it was silly, but life is all about compromise, so I let him have his asking my parents for their blessing moment.

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